Epilogue #2
“People feel naturally more loving towards what’s truly theirs. You might feel more indifferent if you have no blood connection.”
“Funny,” Tyler says, his tone taking on a sharper edge. “Jamie’s all yours, and yet you make him feel like he’ll never be really loved by you because of who he is.”
Oh shit. I can’t believe he went there.
My gaze snaps to my parents. For the first time, Dad looks truly dumbstruck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that expression on him, not even when I came out.
“Jamie…” Mom’s wide eyes land on me. “Is that true?”
My heart is still beating fast, but for a different reason now. Tyler takes my hand on top of the table, encouraging me silently.
“I know you love me,” I start. Instead of looking at my parents, I look at my and Tyler’s hands. “But sometimes it feels like you do because you have to. Because it’s your moral obligation. Like you’d set me aside at the drop of a hat if there was no…blood connection.”
I’ve been holding onto that belief for so long, it started to fester inside of me. Saying the words out loud feels like ripping into an open wound.
“Oh Jamie, that’s not—” Mom presses a trembling hand over her mouth, letting out a sob.
“That’s not true at all. My gosh.” She’s out of her seat in an instant, rounding the table and hugging me.
It’s an awkward angle, but I couldn’t care less.
“I’m so sorry. All we ever wanted was to keep you safe. ”
“I know.” Which is what made it so hard to resent them. “I…have been doing the same thing to myself—keeping myself safe by pretending to be someone I’m not.” I lock eyes with Tyler. “But I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“You won’t have to,” Tyler promises. “Your boyfriend will get rid of anyone who so much as looks at you the wrong way.”
I give a watery laugh. “Yeah, true.”
Mom clicks her tongue and reluctantly pulls away, though she keeps a hand on my shoulder. “While I appreciate that, I don’t really condone violence.”
“I do,” Dad says, cheersing to Tyler with his beer. “Feel free to proceed as necessary.”
“Jeff!” Mom hisses, making us all laugh.
“I mean, you’re not wrong,” Tyler says with a grin. “But I have other ways of dealing with assholes.”
Dad raises a curious eyebrow. “Oh?”
“I work in cyber-security.”
Dad’s expression goes through an infinitesimal shift. It looks like approval. “I guess that could come in handy.” He sets the beer down and leans back, crossing his arms. “Tell me, Tyler, how much do you know about cars?”
“A fair bit,” Tyler says without missing a beat. “Used to work on them with my uncle.”
“Perfect. I have an old Honda that’s been giving me a headache.” Pushing his chair back, Dad stands up. “Come on, big guy. Let’s see if you’re worthy.”
Tyler snorts under his breath, only loud enough for me to hear. “Yes, sir.” He stands up, mouthing, “You okay?” at me.
I nod, trying to process what’s happening as Tyler joins my dad, and together they head to the garage. At the door, Dad pauses and turns to look at me. He gives me a thumbs up, then keeps going.
“Um…” I look at Mom. “What was that?”
From her face, I can tell she didn’t expect this either. “I believe that was your dad’s blessing.”
Yeah, I figured. I just can’t believe it.
A laugh bursts out of me.
“What?” Mom asks.
“You know, if all Dad ever wanted was someone to help him work on his car, he should’ve encouraged me to get a boyfriend from the start.”
Mom laughs too, tears springing to her eyes.
Happy tears this time. “You’re right about that.
” She makes a thoughtful sound. “He’s a bear of a man, I bet he could make quick progress with the shed.
We’ve been trying to get rid of all the junk for a while, but your dad’s back has been giving him grief. ”
“Hey.” I give her a gentle pinch. “He’s my boyfriend, not free labor.”
“Well, he needs to prove himself worthy, no?”
She’s teasing, I know. Still, I feel compelled to say, “He doesn’t. He’s proved himself to me over and over. He’s…” I look in the direction Tyler disappeared with my dad. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I used to think that I was destined to spend the rest of my life begging for crumbs of affection, for a safe place, for a chance to be myself.
And then he waltzed into my life, when I was a complete mess, took one look at me and, for some crazy reason, decided I was worth the effort. Someone worth loving.
Mom doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, she brings her hand to my cheek, stroking it the way she used to do when I was a kid. Before everything went wrong.
“Good.” She smiles. “But I think we should still get him to empty the shed.”
“Oh my God, Mom!”
We chase each other around the kitchen, nearly knocking over a stack of plates without either of us caring. Mom darts into the living room with me hot on her heels, and when I finally catch her, we tumble onto the carpet in a gentle tackle, laughing so hard we can barely breathe.
When the laughter fades, something softer settles over us. Nostalgic. Heavy in the best way. We just look at each other before Mom pulls me into a hug, and I hold her back, breathing in the familiar scent of home I never managed to erase from my memory.
“I love you, Jamie. Forever and ever.”
I cling onto her just a little harder, to make up for the years that I didn’t. “Love you, too, Mom. Forever and ever.”
For so long, I resented the choices that trapped me in a lonely, isolated life, always wondering if I made a mistake, if I should’ve done things differently. But…I think I’m finally ready to forgive myself. The mistakes had to happen to lead me here, to this life that I only ever dreamed of.
And the best part?
This time, I don’t have to wake up.