7. Penelope
Penelope
“Allen, what have you done? Don’t you dare hold anything back from me. Did you make another shady-backyard deal? Did you sign a bad contract? You didn’t break your word to someone important, did you?”
I jolted to a stop in the hallway at the urgency in John’s voice.
“What the hell are you going on about?”
“Don’t play stupid with me. We’re connected now. If you did something, I must know. If it’s not you—if it’s me—”
“Start explaining right now. You’re as pale as a ghost. I’ve never seen you so rattled.”
Glass clinked as I inched closer to my father’s study. Seconds passed, and I knew John was at the bar, making himself a drink.
“I thought I saw someone. It’s probably nothing. Probably not even… him. I mean, maybe it was an accident. I-I—Fuck.”
“Accident? Explain.”
“No.” John’s tone shifted. “I must have been mistaken. So long as everything is okay on your end…”
My father got quiet, pausing. “There’s nothing on my end.” There was hesitation. “Are you having second thoughts about marrying Penelope? Are you trying to back out on our deal?”
“Back out? Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then what happened?”
A strangled sound left him, and weight hit against wood. Glass clinked again, and I could almost see John wincing as he finished off his second scotch.
“I told you it’s nothing. Babette is going downhill fast. It has to be why I’m so off. We thought she had months. I’ll be surprised if she lasts another week. She’s refusing to eat. She won’t drink. She doesn’t want anyone to care for her.” He stopped.
“John… I am sorry about Babette. I know this can’t be easy for you. You’ve been married for—”
“Twenty-five years, and she’s put me through hell for every single one. I’m fine. I’m adjusting, that’s all. She doesn’t even look like the same person. She’s always been cold, but she stopped talking to me weeks ago.” He cleared his throat. “Where’s Penelope? I wish to see her.”
“The girl is upstairs reading. I’ll have her fetched. You can both spend time in the library today. I have business I still need to take care of. Maybe I’ll join you both later. John… no funny stuff with my girl. Until she’s your wife, you can’t have her.”
“What do you take me for?”
“A man,” my father bit out. “I don’t like this nervousness. If you’re getting cold feet, you won’t ruin her before you leave. She’s a virgin. I know that to be fact. It stays that way.”
My face burned in embarrassment. I forced myself forward, letting my flats slap against the wood so they’d hear me coming. I paused at my father’s door, plastering on the biggest smile I could muster.
“Father.” I moved my stare to John. “Lord Allford. I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“I had to see you. I couldn’t help myself. I do believe your father is busy. Would you like to sit with me in the library?”
“I’d love to.”
His smile was genuine as he came forward, offering me his arm. I wrapped mine around, holding to his bicep through the slow stroll.
“Have you decided on any locations for our honeymoon yet?”
Although I had, I found myself lying.
“Sort of. I mean, it’s a big decision. There’s so much research that goes into it.
Greece is appealing, as is Madrid. Monaco, maybe.
Florence might be lovely. But do I want us to live there?
To put roots there as a family? As husband and wife?
” I batted my eyelashes innocently as I glanced up.
John appeared dumbstruck. He blinked rapidly, cupping my cheek as he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.
The kiss was so unexpected and fast that I couldn’t help my own surprise.
I had only meant to play the part of anxious bride. Had I really been so convincing?
“Roots. Us. Can you believe it?”
Before I could answer, John led me forward, picking up the pace as we went down the stairs to the library.
The moment the barrier was shut, he spun me for the door, pressing my body into the wood.
My hands flew up, leveling at his chest as his lips massaged punishingly into mine.
Hardness pushed into my stomach, and I squirmed, turning my head, only to have him burying his face into my neck
“My Lord—Lord Allford. John.”
Fingers dug into my ass, pulling me into him even more.
“I like when you say my name. Greece is beautiful. You’d like Greece. Fuck.” Suction tugged at my throat, and I cried out, trying to twist in his hold. Fear engulfed me, but I swallowed it back, remembering my father’s words.
“Please. My Lord. I… I’m scared.”
The man froze, pulling back as if only just catching himself. Yet there was something deep in his eyes that told me he liked my fear. Soon, there’d be no one to stop him. No one but me.
“Forgive me.” His lips were softer as he came back to my mouth. “I forget myself with you. You have no idea what you do to me. We won’t have to wait long now. A few more weeks. That’s all I can manage. I want you, Penelope. I’ve waited forever.”
I could barely breathe as I forced my head back to scan his face.
“Have you? Have you really wanted me for so long?”
His kiss was bordering brutal as he hungrily came back to me.
“You have no idea. You were always so pretty. Always there visiting Pauly. And then I started coming here to visit you. I can still see you in your cute dresses and frilly lace socks. I’ll get you more. You can wear them just for me.”
My fingers dug into his chest as I fought not to be sick. Lace socks? I hadn’t worn those since I was a little girl. To John, I had no doubt he took it as a good sign, but I was barely able to keep calm. Screams echoed in my mind at the thought, screaming. Screaming. So much anger… Screaming.
“I’ll faint if you don’t let me breathe. I… My Lord, please.”
A soft laugh left him, and he pulled back, leading me to one of the chaise’s centered in the middle of the two-story room.
“So innocent. So beautiful.”
I squeezed into my thighs, a nervous habit I couldn’t shake. Where I could usually stop at the first signs of pain, I kept digging in. Sick. Sick. Monster. This man wasn’t right. This man. And we were here alone.
“I’m afraid I’m a little dizzy. Would you please get me some water? I…” I brought the back of my hand to my forehead, waving air to my face. Maybe it was a bit dramatic, but if he saw I was unwell, perhaps he’d back off?
“Water. Of course.”
He stood, looking over his shoulder as he threw me a smile. And it wasn’t leaving. Back off? No, this was feeding him. I couldn’t allow that. This was a mistake.
“Actually.” I stood. “Maybe tea would be better. I’m already recovering. You must think of me as such a child. A woman that can’t even be kissed. I must look—”
“Desirable.”
“Oh.” My smile was forced as I headed and picked up the landline, pushing Rose’s extension. She answered almost immediately. “Refreshments in the library for me and Lord Allford, please.”
I hung up, heading back to the chaise.
“Tell me more about Greece. You said you thought I’d like it?”
John’s gaze ate me alive as he came back to join me.
“You’re afraid of me. Of what we share.”
“…I am. I—I’ve only ever—and that one time it was mostly kissing. It was very fast and blurry to me. I’m sure you heard I had way too much to drink.”
John sat down, scooting closer. I could smell the liquor on his breath as he placed his hand just above my knee.
“I did hear a little about that, but I won’t hurt you.
I know what happens between a husband and wife can be intimidating, but we’ll take our time.
I can make you feel good, Penelope.” Closer, he leaned in, until his breath brushed my cheek.
“You’ll be begging me for more. It’ll feel so good for both of us. ”
Pressure from his fingers increased on my leg, traveling towards my thigh.
“My Lord—”
“I won’t go too far. I just want you to feel, Penelope. I want you to see that it doesn’t have to be scary. We can take things slow. By the time we marry, having me will be all you can think about.”
My hand snapped to his wrist, and I squeezed with everything I had, meeting his eyes head-on.
“I’m not ready. My father would not approve.”
Strength increased, breaking my hold, growing even higher as he continued his way up.
“This is part of the process. Once you see that fighting won’t stop it, you can start enjoying yourself. I said I won’t go too far, and I’m a man of my word.”
Knocking had me flying to my feet. I headed to the door, swinging it open as Rose pushed in a cart.
I couldn’t stop from wringing my hands as she set up the table.
John watched me intently, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
He remained seated on the chaise, quiet until Rose left and shut the door behind her.
“Would you have tea with me?”
John stood, his face set in tight lines. “Actually, I have other obligations. I’m afraid they slipped my mind. Come give me a goodbye kiss, Penelope, and make it good.”
The niceness was already fading, and it was all my fault.
I had flirted with him. I had spoken harshly.
Hell, I had squeezed his wrist and tried to stop him.
Would he tell my father I had reacted that way to a simple touch?
We were engaged. Would I get in trouble for trying to make him stop when he already said he would?
I headed forward as he stood, stopping before him. Worry turned to dread as it battled the anger that lived deep down.
“Are you mad at me? Don’t be mad at me, John. I… I was scared. I told you—I’m sorry.”
No smile. No sign of emotions at all.
“You’re sorry?”
“Yes.”
His hand slipped behind my hair, and his palm wrapped around the back of my neck. I didn’t know what to do as he drug me in the far direction of the library, moving me down the first small aisle of books.
“You led me on, and then you went cold. That’s not a game we’re going to play.”
Fingers tugged at the button of my slacks, jerking the zipper open so fast, I couldn’t do anything but gasp.
“This cunt is mine. We may not be married, but we will, and nothing is going to stop me from having it. Spread your legs.”
His hand slapped viciously into my inner thigh.
I could feel survival twist me into a robot as I obeyed.
But even then, my eyes were searching for an escape.
A cry left me as fabric tore. John lowered to his knees, forcing my slacks down and pulling my panties over, tearing them even more.
His tongue pushed into my slit and suction had me fisting his hair as I battled pleasure and horror.
“Fuck, Penelope.”
“You have to stop.”
Hard, he sucked over my clit, using his thumb to spread me wide as he let the tip of his tongue make a path to my opening. I pulled his hair, but it only had him angling his head back as he moved deeper into me. “You taste so good. I needed this. I need—”
“Please. John, stop.”
The crushing pressure from his hand on my hip had me crying out.
The door opened again, and I jumped, reaching for my pants to jerk up.
My body was nearly convulsing from the trembling.
I quickly zipped and slid the button home.
John took his time standing. He was angrier than before.
He was downright livid as he flattened his hand on my lower back and pushed me to walk.
My father was grabbing a scone, his eyes narrowed as we came forward.
“As I was telling Penelope, I have prior engagements. Completely slipped my mind. You won’t mind if I come back tomorrow?”
My father’s stare cut to mine, sharper than any blade ever could.
“Penelope, is all… well?” I quickly nodded but refused to meet his eyes. “Good.” He looked back at John. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”
John gave a nod, disappearing through the door. For the briefest moment, I almost felt relief. As if I’d been saved.
“In my library? In my house?”
The power of the slap had my knees buckling. My body crumbled, but before I could hit the ground, my father had me by the blouse, pulling me back to stand.
Whack!
“Did you think I couldn’t see what the two of you were doing?” A rumble left him. “Kissing is fine. If I catch you allowing him such liberties again, I’ll show you what disrespect truly looks like. If he pushes you, push back. If he doesn’t listen, make him. Until you say I do”—whack!— “you don’t.”