17. Penelope
Penelope
V had changed, and I didn’t know whether to be relieved or afraid.
He was probing me for information from my past, and I didn’t have a clue what it could be about.
What I did know was I did not like our recent conversations concerning King Lawrence.
They were becoming more frequent. V didn’t like him, and I wasn’t sure what to think about that.
He was king. And V wanted to train me to survive? To fight? To kill? Kill who?
From the beginning, our conversations never quite aligned with reality.
They felt displaced, like pieces from a different world forced into mine.
The man needed help. There was no way around it.
I loved spending time with him. I even felt pulled to V in ways I never had with anyone else, like…
love… even if I couldn’t explain why I felt it.
But he was sick. It was the only explanation for why he killed my parents, had taken me, and flirted with delusions of paranoia.
Kill who?
Fight who?
I had to figure out how to escape before my feelings for him grew into something more than lure or twisted attraction. How could you be attracted to a voice? To… touches and… fascination?
The way V wanted me was intoxicating. He wanted me. He was good to me. He’d killed for me.
After a lifetime of mental and physical abuse, I was soaking in every unstable moment when I should have been pleading for him to set me free.
I was running out of time. It had been over three weeks, and I was healing. Only last night V had been drilling me on pressure points.
I was lost. I couldn’t focus when I didn’t believe it was necessary to know. And was it? I wasn’t a fighter. I didn’t strike or draw blood. I’d always been on the other side, getting the abuse. And now he wanted me to be the one to cause it?
The door opened, and I sat up higher in my chair, putting in my bookmark and sitting up straighter as V came down the stairs.
He had a paper bag in his hand, and I could smell the rich scent of the food already beginning to fill the space.
I stood, watching as he walked to the small table to put it down.
“Something’s wrong.” He glanced over his shoulder, taking the food boxes from the bag. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing. I—I’m just tired.”
V stopped, turning slowly in my direction. The way he tilted his head had me clasping my hands together.
“I’m going to ask again. This time you’re not going to lie to me.” He paused. “What are you thinking about?”
My gaze dropped, and I swallowed hard. The strength of his stare made me want to throw myself on my knees and confess my uncertainties. I didn’t. I stood straighter, despite I couldn’t look at the mask.
“I’m worried about what you want me to do. The fighting and… stuff.”
He nodded, walking over and cupping the side of my neck so that I had to look up at him.
“We’re going to take things slow. I don’t expect you to kill on your first try. You’re learning, Penelope.”
“I-I know. I just.” I paused, not able to stop from shifting in his arms. “Who will this be happening to? Who do I have to hurt? I’m just really confused. I guess I don’t quite understand what this is for.”
“I’ve told you. It’s for our future. It’s dangerous out there, and I must know you can take care of yourself if it comes down to it.”
“Alright, but from… pickpockets, or will we be living amongst robbers and thieves in some third world country? V, I’m trying so hard to understand.”
A groan sounded. “I said you’d learn more in time. Right now, you focus on your lessons. You learn, and you get ready to fight.”
I didn’t argue or continue to bombard him with my confusion. I nodded, letting him lead me to the table.
“You notice someone is watching you, and they start to follow. You’re going at a decent speed, but they’re catching up.
Something unexpected happens—someone stops you to ask you a question.
Maybe you’re so focused on them that you trip over something and you fall.
You’re able to get to your feet but by the time you do, they’ve caught up to you, and they’re leaning in to grab you.
What’s the first place you attack if you’re able. ”
I sat down, bringing up my hand like he’d shown me last night. “The throat. Here,” I said, pointing to the side of my hand. “I hit across the front as hard as I can.”
“Good girl. Let’s say for some reason you can’t. They’ve grabbed you and you don’t have access to the throat.”
“The nose. I hit them as hard as I can with the side of my fist. If the angle isn’t right, I use my palm.”
“Excellent. And if those angles aren’t right?”
“The jaw. If they’re leaned in and I don’t have access, I hit the back of the head, where the neck connects. I hit as hard as I can.”
“And if the head isn’t an option at all?”
I swallowed hard, clawing through my memories of the lessons.
“Solar plexus. I can use my elbow or kick. Whatever I can manage. It’ll knock the air out of them.”
V held to both sides of my face, coming in and kissing me hard with the mask. My eyes widened and he turned, reaching for the to-go box and placing it in front of me.
“You did good. After we finish, you can show me.”
“Show you?”
“That’s right.” He sat down, sliding his box in front of him. “Knowing and executing are two different things. You have to see how it feels.”
“Oh.” I slowly opened the box, not feeling hungry at all. “V… what if I hurt you?”
He made a sound that had me sitting a little taller. It was full of cockiness. Of disbelief.
“I’ll be fine, Penelope. If you manage to hurt me, I deserve it.”
I grabbed my fork, only pausing for a moment before I stabbed it into a green bean.
“I hope I do hurt you. It’ll serve you right.”
V laughed, grabbing his fork and mirroring me. He went to bring it to his mouth, freezing as he looked down at it.
“Oh, look at that. Guess you’ll just have to take that ugly thing off.”
The chair scraped loudly against the cement floor. V jerked up the box, stomping to the stairs.
“Don’t be absurd.”
He slowed, turning around.
“I’m not taking off my mask.”
“Can’t you just pull it up past your lips?”
“No.”
“V—For fuck’s sake. Put mine on me, then. I can eat blind. I don’t care.”
Seconds drug out before he nodded. He walked over, picking up my mask and bringing it over. I closed my lids, letting out a deep breath as he slid it over my eyes and fastened the strap.
“I’ll eat fast.”
His voice was low. Off.
“Don’t worry about it.” I placed my fork down, reaching in and pulling out a green bean. I brought it to my mouth, taking a bite as laughter filled the space.
“Eating with your fingers, very ladylike of you.”
“The circumstances call for it.” I’d meant to be teasing but my tone was so deflated, I knew V would pick up on it, and I was right.
“Penelope… You have to talk to me. No matter what it is, I need you to tell me. Secrets—” He stopped. “We can’t have them. Ever. They’re deadly. The risk is too great.”
“That! That is what’s wrong.”
Silence.
“V, I like you. You know that. I shouldn’t.
Not after what you’ve done. But I do, but this…
” I lifted my hand, gesturing wildly. “You killed my parents. You brought me to this room. I can’t see you.
I can’t leave here. I’m lucky I still have my gown because the moment my monthly passes, you’re going to take that from me, too.
You want me to fight, but I have no idea who or what I’m fighting.
Truthfully…” I stopped, grabbing to my head wanting more than anything to rip off the mask.
“Truthfully, what?”
A big sigh left me. “I think I’m falling for a psychopathic, crazy, ugly killer, and I don’t know what to do.
You’re clearly not well. You have to know that.
Maybe… maybe we could call a doctor, a psychologist, and get you help.
Maybe there’s medication you can take. I won’t leave you.
We’ll let you adjust and return back to…
the real world. You’ve been good to me. I can help you. ”
Silence.
“V?”
A breath left him. Then another. And suddenly he was laughing.
“It’s not funny.”
Harder, he laughed.
“How is that funny? V, stop this right now. You’re sick. You’re truly paranoid and overreacting. No one will hurt us. If we got you some—Stop laughing right this minute or I will take this mask off.”
“Don’t—” Still, he laughed.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m so glad you find your mental health amusing. I don’t. I’m truly worried for you. You killed people.”
“I did.”
The amusement was thick in his tone.
“And that’s bad. It’s against the law to murder someone, or don’t you know? I bet you right this very minute they’re searching for you. I bet the entire city is up in arms.”
He made a sound I wasn’t sure of.
“What does that mean? What was that sound?”
“Penelope, I told you, there’s not a manhunt because there are no bodies. Your parents are missing. You are missing. That’s all anyone knows.”
I frowned.
“You’re sick, V. I want to help you.”
“I’m not sick.”
“You are! There are no people out to try to kill us. We’re not going to get attacked or threatened if we go out in public.” I reached out, connecting and holding to his shoulder. “Please, listen to me. Let’s leave here. Let me show you that no one will hurt us.”
He let out a long breath.
“Are you done?”
“Are we going to leave here?”
“No. Because I’m not crazy, and you have training to do.”
My hand dropped from him.
“Fine. Have it your way. You’re worried someone is going to hurt you, and I’m going to prove you right. But it’s not someone outside this room. The only one who’s going to hurt you is me.”
“You promise?”
“You just wait. Maybe it won’t be tonight.
Maybe not even a week from now. But just mark my words…
I’m going to hurt you, and when I do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Maybe I’ll drug you and take you out of here.
I can cuff you to a bed and get you the help you obviously need. And trust me… you need a lot of help.”
“I’ll tell you what.”
I yelped as he spun my chair in his direction. “If you best me in a fight, I won’t just prove to you everything I’m saying is the truth. I’ll show you. I’ll take you there.”