38. Penelope
Penelope
Anger had the power to destroy. To trigger impulse.
Anger… fed me.
Every day that passed, it grew. Every week that passed without results, made me fight harder. Months… melted me into someone I didn’t know. An actress. A robot. A shell.
To face fury and stare it down did nothing for me anymore.
Vaughn and I obsessively texted each other throughout the day.
I knew it was him I communicated with, not Theodore.
I had even called a handful of times at their request. I kept that connection, even though I knew the SLB was probably listening and reading everything between us.
Even though… all I wanted to do was turn my fight from monarchy to martyrs.
I hated the SLB for keeping me trapped. I hated even worse that the handful of times I attempted to leave, I didn’t make it ten steps within the front desk before Elliot stopped me.
It told me what I knew deep down.
I was being watched closer than I could have imagined.
Every text.
Every call.
Every tear that sliced down my cheeks from the injustice of isolation… it killed me.
It wasn’t just Theodore I wasn’t allowed to see. It was everyone. Women. Men. They’d even rejected a Baroness who wasn’t more than sixteen. I didn’t think I would get anything out of someone so young, but I had to test those that kept me trapped here. And I was right.
My imprisonment wasn’t being done out of protection. I was bait—a test—maybe even entertainment by someone who wanted to hurt Vaughn.
King Lawrence?
No. If he wanted to hurt Vaughn, I wouldn’t be here—I’d be with him.
That told me he couldn’t get to me anymore than anyone else.
But he had reached out to check on my welfare.
It was more cordial than coordinated, and the intensity was increasing.
It wasn’t revenge oriented. It was interest, and I didn’t want it, which was why I hadn’t even taken the request to Marian or Katia.
I just rejected his invitations to come see me.
It wasn’t smart. In truth, it was stupid, but I let the blame fall on my new captors.
Besides, King Lawrence was the enemy. What would Vaughn think if I visited the king and no one else? Nothing good.
“Penny?”
Marian’s head peeked into her gym. I met her reflection in the mirror as I kept running on the treadmill. I did that a lot these days. Run. Lift weights. Fight a ghost—the punching bag. Training had become my focus. It was what I lived for. Breathed for.
“Penny…” She paused as she took me in. I hit the button, running faster. “It’s a bad time. I was wondering if… I was about to go up to eat. Are you hungry?”
Tears burned my eyes just like they always did lately when Marian tried to talk to me.
I hated being so angry towards her. She was doing everything she could to be nice to me.
She was my friend, and I really liked her.
But it was exhausting pretending to be so sweet and innocent all the time.
I wanted to scream at her. To shake her and beg her to help me escape so I could be free.
But she couldn’t—nor wouldn’t help me with that.
“I hate this.” Marian crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate it. Penny, please.”
I hit the button to the treadmill, turning it off. Grabbing the cloth, I wiped the sweat from my face, breathing hard as I stepped off to sit on one of the benches.
“You’re killing yourself in here. Every day, all day. This is the only thing you seem to want to do. Please, talk to me. I know you’re upset.”
“Upset?” Those damn tears. They built as I took a drink of water. “How would you feel if you had no one left? If you lost everyone, and even though it went against your very nature to reach out to make new connections, someone rejected every offer you put in?”
Her frown grew as she hugged tighter around her chest.
“I was kidnapped, yet I’m being treated as the captor.
I am imprisoned in this building, Marian.
It’s been six months. Almost seven. I can’t even heal on my own because I’m in limbo.
I’m waiting for true privacy just to mourn over parents who hurt me, but I can’t even do that.
I want a place of my own. I want a life of my own.
I want Theo—a man who will probably find another because let’s be honest, it’s been almost a year since this nightmare for us began. I want so much.”
“I know.”
“You really don’t. I am truly appreciative for what you’ve done for me, but Marian…
I want to leave. I want to get back to my life—whatever that is.
I at least want to socialize. To have conversations with people in my circle.
I have been patient. I have been kind. I have been understanding.
I can’t anymore. This isn’t protection, it’s punishment. I can’t—”
The sobs tore from me. They weren’t just for Marian, they were for Katia. For whoever else was watching and had decided that this was okay.
“Penelope…”
My hand shot up. “I’m done being nice, Marian. I wish to contact Theodore and see about my rights. What is happening is unjust. It is not okay with how I am being treated. I can’t do this anymore.”
“I know it’s hard—I’ll call Katia.”
“Katia is the problem. She takes days to respond sometimes. I want change. I want rights. I want to leave this place if I choose. I’ll live here, fine, but I have to get out, too.
Have me escorted. Have me watched over. I don’t care.
I have to get out of this building or so help me…
Marian, I’m at the end of what I can take. ”
“Dammit.” Her hand settled over her mouth, and she shifted on her feet.
“Theo can come and he can stay. One night, that’s it.
I’ll state your case to Katia, and I’ll tell her she has to make exceptions.
It’s not okay. I’ve watched you go downhill the last few months, and this is not good for you. We’ll figure something out.”
I wiped the tears, not feeling as happy as I should have. Theodore… here? I didn’t want him here, I wanted Vaughn. Unless…
“Marian…”
I was breathless as I scanned her face. I rushed up to her, cupping around my mouth as I leaned in close to her ear.
“I couldn’t allow Theo to stay here. I would feel awkward.
But if I could maybe stay with him at his place for just one night.
Please. I’m begging you. I’ll never ask you for anything ever again.
One night away from here. I promise to return by sunrise.
Or just give me an hour. Give me something, please.
It’ll be between me and you. No one will ever know. ”
I hugged around her neck, breaking as her arms slowly wrapped around me.
“One night.” I kept my face buried into her neck as I whispered. “Just one. You can even pretend not to know. Let me try to sneak out. I’ll face the consequences if I get caught. Anything. I have to s-see him.”
“Oh, Penny.”
She let out a deep sigh, holding on tighter.
“I wish more than anything that I could. I mean, you could try, but you wouldn’t get out. Trust me, it’s impossible. The only way you could stay with Theo was if I took you and put guards on you.”
I pulled back, searching her face. “Would you do that for me?”
She was silent for so long that I could barely breathe.
“I could break the rules, but if I did, you may not even make it there. They may never let you come back here. They may take you somewhere else. Let me ask them. I can give my word to them that me and my guards will protect you. But there’s no guarantee, and from where they stand now, I don’t see them allowing it. ”
My mind raced, and I let go of her, turning to ease back to the bench.
“So I go back to being trapped.”
“They may change their mind—”
“They won’t.”
I wiped the wetness from my face.
“Go eat, Marian. I’m going to keep going in here for a while.”
Marian hesitated, finally turning to ease from the room. I laid back on the bench, staring up to the ceiling.
I’d been so sure my plans of meeting with others in my circle would kill time. That it would help me discover the evidence to prove Vaughn’s family innocent. I’d been so na?ve and wrong. Time was dragging, and with it, my time was running out.
I picked up my phone, texting Vaughn.
Me: Theo, I’m in need of your legal services. My hope to see others to advance our future has failed. Months of requests have been denied. I need to know my rights. I want to leave.
I stared at the message. Did I delete it? Did I send?
I hadn’t told Vaughn or Theodore how fruitless my efforts were. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t do the simplest thing. I didn’t want them to know how bad this was, but it wasn’t just bad. It was scary.
My eyes closed and when I opened my lids, I did what I felt was right in my gut. I hit send.
Seconds didn’t pass before an alert sounded.
My Love: We’re on our way.
Me: It’s not an emergency! I said legal. I am not in danger. I just can’t leave. Find a way to LEGALLY get me out of this.
My Love: Do you not think I haven’t been looking? That I haven’t reached out to connections? I’m at the end of my patience. I have an idea—a last resort. I think we’ll see some sort of difference by morning.
Me: Really? You think so! I miss you.
The world could have imploded in my chest for the hole that ached for Vaughn.
My Love: I miss you more. I can’t be without you for much longer.
Me: I want you.
Time stretched as I bit against my bottom lip and waited.
My Love: You’re fucking killing me. I want to marry you, Penelope. To not be able to speak those vows… You know I mean them right now, right? Not just when we say ‘I do’.
Me: I mean them too. To have and to hold…
My Love: from this day forward
Me: for better
My Love: for worse
Me: for richer
My Love: for poorer
Me: through sickness
My Love: and in health. I will honor, cherish, love, fight, and kill for you. All you have to do is say the word, and it is yours. TELL ME… and I will come. To hell with everything else. I need you.
The smile wouldn’t leave me.
Me: LEGALLY
My Love: Then we wait and see what happens.
I put down my phone, heading to the weight machine. I wasn’t sure what would come from tomorrow, but I prayed it made some sort of difference. If not, I was terrified of what would become of it. Would I ever get out of here? Would I ever be set free?
I wasn’t sure, but something had to change. I couldn’t do this anymore. Not when I wasn’t making ground looking for proof of his family’s innocence.
From here on out, I’d have to do what I could to fight silently… strategically.