47. Penelope
Penelope
I was sick with worry for Marian. I had tried so hard to stay strong and not show fear for having to be back with Vaughn at The Order, but being separated from a woman who had taken such good care of me for almost a year was taking its toll.
My resolve was crumbling. Every sound in the distance made me jump.
We’d only just gotten back to The Order, but Marian had been in the bedroom in the back of the jet during the plane ride. I was taken out first and put in a different car than her on our way here. Where was she?
I’d asked Vaughn but he told me it wasn’t my concern.
Nothing felt right, and suddenly everything was going wrong.
“Thank you, Reeve. Is it ready?”
The Reeve’s eyes jumped to me and he nodded.
“Yes, Sire.”
“And everything’s been prepared like I asked?”
“It has.”
Vaughn nodded. “We’ll be there shortly.”
His fingers curled around my bicep, dragging me towards the back of the Throne Room. I tried jerking against his hold, but his grip only tightened.
We headed through the double doors, passing two guards as we continued through the long hall. After a left, I knew exactly where we were. A few doors down, he opened the queen’s chamber, pushing me inside and shutting us in.
“Put that on.”
I took in the white slip dress laying on the bed.
“I’ll put that on when you get out.”
For a long moment Vaughn just stared at me.
“It would seem you forget who you’re talking to. Let me repeat that one more time. Weigh my words wisely. Put. That. On.”
My gaze swept over his face. Angrily, I grabbed the dress at my thighs, pulling it up and over my head. I didn’t wait; I threw it at him. He easily deflected it.
“The rest.”
I reached behind my back, unsnapping the bra and letting it fall to the ground.
“If I’m going back out of that door, panties stay. I will not bend on that.”
“I make the rules.”
“Alright.” My arms crossed over my bare chest, drawing his eyes exactly where I wanted them.
“Let me get this straight. You want your queen amongst nobility in a dress so short that with one wrong move, I could show them what they don’t deserve to see?
Do you want your Masters fantasizing over what you claim is yours? Because if you’re okay with that—”
“Keep the damn panties on.”
I snatched the dress from the bed, trying not to show the relief over my win.
“You’ve changed,” he said, lowly.
I didn’t answer. I slid the dress over my arms, feeling it catch on my breasts. Vaughn’s hand came forward, and the movement had me latching to his wrist before he could get close. Something sparked in his depths as he watched me withdraw my hand.
“I don’t need your help. Can you please tell me where Marian is?”
Righting the dress over my hips, I watched in my peripheral as Vaughn inched in. Anger had me lifting my gaze.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching you.”
“Stop. Tell me about Marian.”
A small growl left him. “If you don’t want to be queen, then you don’t get answers.”
“So, if I say I want to be queen—”
“It’s too late. You have to earn your right to be able to say that again. You, Penelope, may not be a slave, but you’re now equivalent to one.”
“Until when?”
He shrugged. “Maybe in time. Maybe never. I very well may keep you like this until you die.”
“Which seems to be a pattern for you.”
His eyes narrowed, and he stepped in dangerously close.
“Why don’t you elaborate.”
“Has there been so many that you’ve lost count?”
“Penelope, if you’re referring to—”
“Stop it.” My hand shot up. “I don’t want to hear about your other women right now. I want you to bring me Marian and leave us alone.”
He got quiet, watching me.
“Women? You’re jealous that I chose someone before you?”
“Someone?”
His brow creased in confusion. “One, yes. Ten years ago. I was stupid. Impatient. She wasn’t a good match. She died in the trials.”
Confusion swirled around what I knew—what Katia had told me. Hadn’t she mentioned that word? I thought she’d meant in general. Not actual trials.
“What trials?”
Vaughn’s anger faded, and he sat on the edge of the bed, staring up at me.
“I cannot marry until I get The Order’s blessing. To do that, the woman I choose must pass The Queen’s Trials. It’s a mix of history and challenges. But even the history section has its repercussions if you answer wrong. The more you don’t know, the harsher the punishment becomes.”
“But… you were teaching me to fight. You never mentioned history.”
His face lowered. “The history is easy enough to learn, and the punishment you can survive. It’s the fight that you must worry over.
You have to prove that you can protect me if it comes down to it.
The Order will not just test you, Penelope.
They’re going to try to kill you. It’s the only way.
Two people will face off. Only one will survive. ”
“And she died?”
“I made a mistake. I chose wrong. It’s why it’s taken me ten years to choose again. I had to be sure but—”
“I understand why you kept pulling back before. It makes sense. You think I can’t do it. That I’m too weak.”
“Penelope, it’s not—”
“Don’t.”
“Stop.” He pushed to his feet, looming over me.
“Did it ever occur to you that I didn’t think you were weak, I just didn’t want to lose you?
Dammit, Penelope.” He went to reach for my face, but once again, I countered it by grabbing to his wrist. The interest—the stunned surprise had him moving faster to grab me.
All the days in the gym—with Elliot—with Marian—alone. Killing myself. Working so hard to drown out my own doubts. Fighting. Fighting. Fighting.
“You never stopped training.” Vaughn grabbed my forearm, spinning and stepping in to wrap around my back.
Instinct came automatic. I pivoted my hips just as Elliot had taught me, hooking my arm around Vaughn’s back as I threw him down to the ground.
The smile on his face as he stared up at me from the cement floor wasn’t just filled with aww…
there was love. And I was so caught up in it that I didn’t feel him sweep my feet out from under me until I was in the air.
He moved forward, and I crashed into his arms as he caught me.
“God, I’ve missed you.”
He spun me to lay on my back, only for me to throw my weight so that I was on top. The way I was straddling his waist had heat surfacing on my skin.
“I think I’ve never loved you more.”
“You’re mistaken. It’s not love.”
“No?” Vaughn’s eyes were practically sparkling as he grabbed to my hip. “If this isn’t love—”
“It’s not.”
“Prove it. Kiss me and tell me you don’t feel it too.”
What I felt was the hardness of his cock under me. His fingers dug into my hip, and he added pressure and moved me against him.
“Kiss me, Penelope. One time.”
His large hand pushed under my hair, wrapping around the back of my neck, leading me forward. Lust and lies twisted. Katia’s stories made me argue with truth and deception. I wasn’t na?ve that maybe everything she told me wasn’t real, but my mind was having a hard time figuring out what was.
“Who is Bella Octavia?”
Vaughn paused as his lips brushed mine. His face drew back, and his eyes narrowed as they searched back and forth.
As if a flipped switched in him, he stood, dumping me on the floor.
The rage in his eyes had me wanting to cower.
To take back my question. … It cemented in that everything Katia told me wasn’t a lie.
“Is she rotting down here? Like me? Like Katia will when you find her? Or did you set her free with your knife?”
“Stand up. The Magister is waiting on you.”
I rose, not taking my eyes off of him. Although terrified, I couldn’t stop the anger that came with how stupid I felt for believing in a Vaughn that didn’t exist. For almost falling for his charm, again. I almost had given in and kissed him.
What was wrong with me?
A million answers came as I let Vaughn drag me across The Order. Masters watched. Guards quietly whispered when they thought we weren’t looking.
When we headed through a door, The Magister stood waiting in his dark veil and upside-down crown as the other Judics stood quietly in the background. A dark-haired woman was tied to a stake. There was a gag in her mouth, and her sobs were muffled as she shook her head.
“The Intended has arrived.”
My head shook. “I am not. The Unavowed says I am equivalent to a slave. I am not to hold the status of future queen until I earn it.”
Vaughn let out a low growl. “She’s here.”
The Magister opened his book.
“Let us begin. Penelope, take your place.”
He paused as I cautiously stepped forward.
“Today, you stand before The Order of the Unavowed. Not as queen but as the Intended. You are not a woman bound by crown, but by oath. Not by throne, but by blood.”
I stared into the darkness of his veil, lost in the mystery of who this man was. The darkness that stared back at me gave no hint.
“As we begin, you must know if you take these vows, they remain forever. Vows are only broken through death. You have already vowed before…”
My chin lifted.
“I have, and I stand by those vows to the guard. I am already a part of The Order. A little or a lot doesn’t matter. I wish to remain.”
“Then you will swear these truths…”
His voice echoed through the chamber, and I could hear Vaughn shifting behind me.
Trembling had my body shaking. I fisted my hands, trying to search out my true motivation for my decision to strengthen my vows to this place.
Was it because I had no family left? Was it because I fell in love with the man behind me?
Or was it a twisted yearning for both? No…
It was because I believed in truth. Vaughn was the real king.
“Loyalty comes before life: The Order stands before country and kin.
Silence above mercy: What is seen within The Order remains within The Order.
Blood above comfort: Trial above fear.
The Crown above all: The rightful line must be restored, no matter the cost.
Betrayal is death: No soul who breaks this oath lives.”
“Do you understand these vows?”
I stood taller, feeling every declaration find a home inside of me.
“I do, and I swear and accept all of them.”
The Magister nodded.
“Turn and face The Unavowed. Repeat after me.”
When I turned, the anger was no longer present on Vaughn’s face. It was devoid of anything at all… As the Magister began to talk, I repeated, keeping my gaze locked with Vaughn’s.
“I give my loyalty… To the Order… To the lion who has fallen… To the blood that was betrayed… I swear my voice to silence, my strength and my life to the restoration of the throne.” The Magister circled around me, still talking, and I continued to echo his words.
“If I break this oath… May my blood be spilled as sacrifice, and my name be erased from history forever.”
Vaughn shifted again. The Magister waved to someone in my peripheral. I turned, taking a deep breath as my stare jumped back to Vaughn’s. I wouldn’t look at the glowing end of the poker the man held as he walked up to me. I wouldn’t look. I wouldn’t look…
Pain.
I knew pain.
It was life.
It was love.
The man stepped between me and Vaughn, and I closed my lids, not prepared for the amount of pain that took over.
An inferno of heat melted my skin, searing the fire into my very soul as the upside-down crown was pressed over my heart.
All of my life I’d cried over everything.
Emotion was just part of who I’d always been.
But there were no tears as I accepted my fate, only a bright white flash in the darkness as a cry escaped me.
I held still feeling the blistering pressure ease almost as fast as it appeared—but the burn didn’t subside.
Opening my lids, I watched Vaughn’s stare lift from the brand.
“You are one with The Order. Seal your oath in blood.”
Confused, I looked down at the dagger the Magister held out to me. I grabbed it, turning as he motioned to the brunette that was secured to the stake. Tears were stained down her face, and her eyes were swollen from crying.
I knew that pain. I knew what it was to be trapped and under the power of someone else.
I closed the distance between us, gripping tighter to the dagger.
“Loyalty above life.”
The vow left me as a whisper. I let the words burrow deeper into who I was becoming.
I met the woman’s light brown stare, lifting the blade and leveling it at her throat.
Screams filled my ears—not hers—but mine.
They were internal, full of anger, pain, and longing for something I didn’t even know.
I put my weight forward, jerking the blade as warm blood began to pour and splash over my bare feet.
“Penelope. …Intended.”
I turned to face Vaughn, feeling the fogginess of shock begin to sink in. The room spun as my heart raced. I almost felt like I was going to be sick. I refused to let it show.
Vaughn’s hand twitched at his side, like he was going to step forward but stopped himself.
“You did well. Welcome to The Order... Intended.”