41. Veronica
CHAPTER 41
Veronica
Setting the curling iron on the bathroom counter, I stare at myself in the mirror. Tonight, I chose tighter curls to mimic the ones I got rid of. The reason I decided to curl them this way is because I know how much Leo loved them.
I’ve also missed my curls more than I can even say. They were a part of me, like the flesh on my bones.
Another reason I curled my hair was because I wanted Leo to feel like he was on a date with me. Not Camille Saunders from Colorado, but Veronica Rollins, the crazy sociopath he fell in love with. Can I even give myself that title anymore since being back in Seattle? Well, since the moment I felt guilty after stabbing Leo.
Since returning to his life, I’ve accepted the flood of new emotions. I never thought someone would be able to fix me. The doctors tried medications, thinking that the pills would have helped, but shocker, they didn’t.
When the medicines failed, I refused to try anymore. I hated the way they made me feel. Not that they provided me with the emotions I had been missing, but some made me feel like a robot. Others made me nauseous, and there was that one that made me cranky.
And with the anger issues I already had, it got a little out of hand. Which led to one of the many fights I was in.
After that incident, they stopped trying the medications altogether. I returned to my typical self, and they didn’t try to shove any more pills down my throat.
My focus returns to my reflection in the mirror, the dissociation wearing off. Clearing my throat, I lightly brush my fingers through my hair to loosen some of the curls, giving it that wild look it used to have.
Chloe was right; the green of this dress complements the blonde and my skin very well. However, it does well for the brown in my eyes. Despite already putting on the minimum amount of makeup, I haven't put the contacts in.
A knock at the door tears my eyes away from the mirror. I chose to get ready in my apartment tonight. It’s weird being in here after spending all my time at Leo’s, but I wanted space while getting ready.
Blowing out a long breath, I leave the bathroom to open the door, and when I do, my breath is taken away. Leo stands there wearing a long-sleeved black Henley paired with black dress pants.
And here I thought the clothes he wore as a doctor were hot. My gaze travels up his body and to his face, which is holding a smirk as he appreciates my dress.
“That dress looks beautiful on you,” he compliments, eyes drifting to my face. His eyes light up at the curls, but his brows furrow when he drops his gaze to my eyes. “Your eyes.”
“What about them?” My brows dip in confusion.
His hand lifts, one finger pointing at my face. “They are brown.”
“Yes, I know.” I turn away from him and grab my purse off the kitchen counter.
“Veronica, you should put your contacts in,” he suggests in a worried tone.
“I don’t want to. Not tonight.” I sling the strap over my shoulder and spin to face him. Leo opens his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it. “One night without my contacts won’t hurt anything.”
“But—”
“Leo,” I cut him off. “It will be fine. I want to feel like myself tonight. No contacts.”
“Okay.” He nods in defeat but with a slight understanding in his tone. “We should get going then. We have a reservation to get to.”
I’m not sure what I was expecting for this date night. A dinner? Yes. But this restaurant he brought us to is the nicest I’ve ever seen. When I was little, my parents dragged us around to places similar, but they were never this nice.
Leo didn’t have to look for a place to park because there was a valet. A young man opens my door for me, offering a hand to help me out. Although I don’t want to touch him, I politely take his hand and step out of the car. Rounding the back end, Leo smiles lightly at me before handing off the keys to the worker.
My gaze shifts away from the man who helped me as I turn to admire the building we are standing before. The sun has already set, and there isn’t much lighting except for the facade lights on the stone structure. Beautiful greenery surrounds the building, with little pink flowers poking out of the shrubs.
A hand gently presses against my lower back, drawing my attention away from the beauty. Leo tilts his head towards the main door and then ushers me to the wooden frame.
Before he reaches for the handle, someone inside opens it for us. A woman dressed in all black smiles at the two of us.
“Hello, and welcome to Ember.” She steps aside, allowing us to enter. “What is the name under the reservation?”
“Madden,” Leo tells her.
She walks behind a stand and glances down at a notebook. “Perfect! I’ll take you to your table.”
With two menus in hand, the woman leads us to our seats. My eyes remain wide as I take in the interior. It is dim, with wall lights that provide a bit of light. They are beautiful, though. Gold plates sit on the walls, and then a rod extends up and over, dropping to where an elegant glass covers the lightbulb.
Above us, fairy lights are strung from the ceiling. They dip down only to curve back up. It is like that throughout the entire restaurant.
Each table has a candle to add to the ambiance. I’m so invested in my surroundings that I bump into Leo’s back when we stop at our table.
The woman from the front desk tells us to enjoy our meals before leaving. I step over to my chair, surprised when Leo pulls it out for me. I smile sheepishly, a slight blush coating my cheeks. Thank goodness it is dark here, and he can’t see it.
“This place is amazing.” Words finally leave me as he gets comfortable across from me.
“It is,” he agrees. “It’s tough to get in unless you know somebody.”
“And who do you know?” I ask with a grin, unfolding the cloth napkin and placing it on my lap.
He does the same and says, “Myles has a buddy from work that comes here often. He was able to do me a favor.”
Before I can respond, the waiter comes to our table. Leo orders a whole bottle of wine and some appetizers that seem impossible to pronounce.
While he talks with the waiter, my eyes drift off to the restaurant, glancing at the other guests. They are all older. Leo and I might be the youngest ones here besides the staff. I make eye contact with an older woman who looks at me strangely, causing my eyes to drop to the menu.
The food has fancy names, and the price for each dish is outrageous. The words slip out of my mouth before I can think.
“You did not need to bring me somewhere this nice.”
Leo has been working for his father at the car shop. I don’t know how much he makes, and that doesn’t matter, but what matters is that he is wasting that money on this dinner, wasting it on me.
The money Slater sends me sits in my account, almost untouched. I mean, what the hell would I spend it on? Besides the bed in my apartment, which I don’t sleep in anymore, I feel no need to throw the money on pointless things.
“Has a guy never brought you somewhere like this before?” he questions, peering up at me from the menu.
Before.
It could be a general word or have a singular meaning.
Before, when I was younger and supposed to be dating, or before I was in the asylum?
“I was young and didn’t go out much to begin with. Any dates I went on with a guy consisted of a chain restaurant and a movie.” I divert my eyes back to the menu. “There was that one guy who thought it would be a smart idea to have a first date in his mother’s basement.”
“How did that go?” Leo asks, although he probably already knows the answer.
“With him being silenced.” I grin to myself and quietly add, “Forever.”
“Hopefully, this date won’t end the same.”
My eyes snap up. “It won’t.”
He smiles. “I know, Vee. I’m just messing with you.”
Nodding, I bite my lip. “Is this where you brought Rachel ?
A laugh leaves him at how I enunciated her name with disgust. “No. I took her to a far less fancy place. I wasn’t interested in her.”
My chest warms at his confession. I knew he wasn’t into her, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less knowing he went out with her. But the fact that he brought me here implies that he is interested in me.
That I am worth it.
The waiter drops off the bottle of wine and asks if we are ready to order. I choose the Pink Sauce Pasta, which is one of the only things I can pronounce.
When I hand over the menu, I offer the waiter a tight smile. As he leaves, I can sense Leo’s eyes on me.
“Are you nervous?” The candle in the middle of the table flickers, casting a soft glow over his face. It makes parts of his green eyes appear darker, as if they were two colors.
That thought alone makes me think about Eliza. I wonder if she is still locked away. They must have figured out a medicine to quiet down the voices by now, and with the voices gone, she could be in the public. Well, at least, I think she would be.
Dismissing the thought of her, I focus on Leo. “Of course I am. This”—I wave my hand in the air, gesturing to our surroundings—“is all new to me.”
“The restaurant?” He sips from his glass, and my eyes drop to where his mouth touches the rim. Why is it that everything he does turns me on? He makes me wish I was the glass right now. “Didn’t your parents ever take you to these types of places? They did have money.”
I blink twice, clearing my throat and my mind before answering. “When we were younger, yes, but I always acted like a brat. I didn’t like my parents and hated going and doing things with them, so I did whatever I could to get out of it.”
“I see nothing has changed.” His voice drops, and a smug smile plays on his lips.
“What? That I don’t like my parents?” I bring the glass of wine to my mouth, taking a generous sip.
The topic of my parents makes me think about my run-in with Stephanie. I haven’t told Leo about the encounter, and I know I should, but not tonight.
I don’t want to ruin this.
“That you're a brat.” Almost instantly, my thighs press together under the table when he uses that word. “Some lessons can never be learned, I guess.”
“They can when you are taught well,” I flirt back because it is so natural with him.
His eyes remain on me as the waiter sets our food before us, and he doesn’t remove them when asking the waiter for another bottle of wine.
Since being out of the asylum, I have grown to love wine. I used to hate it because it would remind me of my mother. She always had a glass with dinner, sometimes lunch, and I thought of her every time I saw a glass. But then I got over it. I tried beer and liquor, but nothing made me feel the way wine did.
It made me feel light, like I could float away from this world and not have to deal with anything anymore.
Finishing off what is in my glass, I pick up the fork to my right and dig into the pasta. There is a mixture of red and white sauce. Grated parmesan lies neatly on the surface, with some green herbs sprinkled over the entire dish. Dipping my fork in, disrupting the beautiful presentation, I twirl the utensil until noodles wrap around the prongs.
Steam is leaving the pasta, creating a trail toward the ceiling. Forming my lips into an “O,” I blow on the food to cool it down. As I do this, my eyes lift slightly to catch Leo watching me—watching my mouth.
Internally, I smirk. On the outside, I remain calm and insert the fork into my mouth. Once I close it and the sauce and noodles meet my tongue, a moan of satisfaction leaves me.
This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.
In the process of eating, my eyes shut to enjoy the flavors that were bursting in my mouth. When I open them again, I find Leo staring at me with hunger in his eyes. And not for the steak that is plated before him.
The sensation that comes over me from his gaze is almost too much. I lower my fork, bringing the napkin to my mouth. I pat my lips, swallowing hard as I think of anything to say to ease the tension.
“How do you like your job?” Seriously, Veronica? Out of all the things you could have asked, that was it?
Why am I feeling flustered all of a sudden? This is Leo. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him.
Leo shrugs, stabbing the knife into his steak. “It’s alright. Pays the bills.”
My heart deflates a little. “You don’t enjoy it?”
Slowly, he saws the knife forward and back, cutting a small piece of steak. “It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just different. It isn’t as rewarding as it was being a doctor.”
“You’re still helping people,” I point out.
“But not in the way I would like to.” He pops the steak into his mouth, chewing it until he finally swallows.
“Is there really no way you can get your license back?” Leo lowers his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Leo. It’s my fault.”
He freezes in his seat, eyes lifting to mine. “Let’s not talk about that.”
“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“How come you never got a job?” he asks.
“They do background checks.”
“Your friend Slater couldn’t figure that out?” He doesn’t sound angry when bringing up Slater, which leads me to believe he got over the fact that Slater helped me.
“He probably did figure something out to help,” I sigh, eyeing the glass of wine. “But with the money he sends me, I can afford to live off that.”
“Like your own personal sugar daddy.” He laughs a bit, suppressing the jealousy with a sip of wine.
“Jealousy looks good on you,” I smirk.
“Not jealous,” he lies, unable to look me in the eye.
“Mhm. Tell that to the green monster on your shoulder.” Wanting to change the subject again, I pick up my glass and swirl the liquid around. “You know, a few more of these, and I’ll be drunk. Was that your plan tonight?”
He thinks about it for a second. “That wasn’t the plan, but I’ve never seen you drunk. Now I’m curious.” He nods his head toward my glass. “Drink up.”
In the past hour, I’ve added three more glasses of wine to the two glasses I drank from when we sat down to when our food arrived. After the fourth glass, I didn’t feel flustered anymore, which made the conversations flow easier.
We talked about many things, but the past wasn’t one of them. We didn’t talk about the asylum. There was no discussion about his time in prison or what I got up to while on the run. Why would we? All of that is in the past now. We are looking at our future, which I am hoping is together.
He talks to me about work some more and how he isn’t sure if it is something he wants to do for the rest of his life. He told me that his dad mentioned Leo taking over the business when he could no longer run it, but he doesn’t know how to let his dad down.
He is yearning for something better—a career where he can impact people’s lives like he used to, but there isn’t much out there for him to do. I don’t miss how his eyes light up while discussing helping people in need. And then that light dimming quickly when that reminder that he can no longer work in that field rolls through his mind.
When that moment happened, I quickly changed the subject, talking about Chloe and her pregnancy. Leo is over the moon with happiness because Chloe is having a little girl. He tells me that Carter will be the best big brother and Myles will be an amazing father.
Hearing him talk about his family and watching how his face lit up made my body warm. This man has so much love for his family and still managed to make space for me.
We didn’t stay long after our last glass of wine. Both of us were feeling it, and Leo, who was responsible, called an Uber to get us back home.
During the whole drive to the apartment, he kept saying that he should have gotten us a ride in the first place. Granted, I don’t think he knew we would get this drunk. His hand remained on my thigh the entire drive, making my skin burn and feel alive.
Now, he stands on one side of the elevator with me on the other. His head is resting against the wall, and he watches me with a drunk smile. “You look so pretty tonight.”
“Thank you.” I blush.
“Very pretty,” he slurs the compliment. “You even did your hair like it used to be.”
I lift my hand, my fingers pinching the ends of my hair, and I smile. “I figured you’d like it.”
Leo shifts his head forward, eyes turning dark as he stalks over to me. He stands in front of me, leaving no space between us. His hands cup my face, angling it back to make me look up at him.
“I love it.”
His lips slam against mine, pressing hard enough to force my head back. If it could go back, that is, because he has such a tight hold on my face that I’m not going anywhere even if I try.
I return the kiss, matching his desperation and hunger. Our mouths move smoothly together. He tastes of wine, and I’m sure my lips hold the same flavor.
The moment doesn’t last long because he is pulling away. He drops his hands from my confused face and grabs my hand. The elevator door slides open, and he walks us into the hall. “Do you have your keys on you?”
“I think they are in your apartment,” I tell him. “Why?”
“I’d like to use a friend tonight.” He turns his head and winks at me. “Get me your keys, and then get yourself ready.”
He unlocks and opens the door, pushing me inside. I grab my keys off the kitchen island and toss them to him. My body’s igniting into a fire from knowing what he is about to get. I gave up on searching for the vibrator that he stole and bought a new one.
“You better be naked in my bed by the time I get back,” he orders before slipping out of the door.
Giggling to myself, I rush to the bathroom and remove my clothes. I choose not to clean off my makeup. If Leo is going to ruin me, I want it to show by how my mascara runs and by the smear of my lipstick. Smiling to myself in the mirror, I skip to his bed and climb into it.
I sit lying back, propped on my elbows, until my neck hurts. What is taking him so long? I don’t know how much time has passed, but I know it is longer than he should be gone. I push myself up, sitting upright on the mattress, listening for any sign of him.
Finally, the front door creaks open and shuts loudly. Footsteps grow louder as they approach the bedroom. Leo walks through the doorway with a vibrator, but there is something off about his expression.
“Is everything alright? You were gone awhile.”
“Yeah.” He nods, the tightness in his face loosening. “Just had to take a phone call.”
“With?” It doesn’t come out jealous because I know he wouldn’t be on the phone with another woman while I lie naked in his bed. But there is a hint of worry in my voice.
“Myles. He is having pre-wedding jitters and needed to be calmed down.” Makes sense with the wedding being in a couple of days. “Now, lie back.”