Chapter 6
Mei
It’s been three days since the kiss. Kisses. Neither of us have mentioned it again. Owen is friendly enough, but he doesn’t allow himself to be alone with me. Though he promised to hug me when I’m sad, I don’t pull that card on him. We both know what happened was reckless and stupid.
College started back up today which I was glad for.
At least for a few hours, I was able to focus on anything but this sham marriage and my incredibly good-looking stepdad.
But, once I pick up Penny from the babysitter, we’ll be back in the tense environment where I can’t even look Owen’s way without blushing profusely.
One day, someone besides him, is going to notice.
As I pull into the driveway at Carol’s house, my phone buzzes. When I see Owen’s name, my heart hammers in my chest.
Owen: Addison and Cason are going to their mom’s after school. Rhett said he’ll be out late at Riko’s place and your mom said she has some errands. Looks like it’s just the three of us. Be thinking about what you want for dinner and we can order in.
My stomach twists and my skin flushes. This isn’t a date, but it kind of feels like one. Aside from Penny being there, I mean. Okay, so it’s not a date. Ugh, a girl can dream.
I climb out of my car, thankful for the blast of winter wind that chases away the inferno blazing inside me.
Brakes screech from nearby, drawing my attention.
A bearded man in a silver sedan parks at the curb directly across the street from Carol’s house.
I’ve been coming here for nearly two years and haven’t once seen this man.
Something about the way he stares at me has every hair on my body standing on end.
Creep.
Tearing my gaze from him, I hurry inside the small, cozy home. Carol is in her eighties but still gets around just fine. Penny is the only child she watches, so naturally Carol spoils her like crazy.
“Hello, sweetheart,” Carol says as I enter. “Come in and get yourself some tea.”
The house smells like cinnamon and vanilla. A smile tugs at my lips. Penny is sitting on the floor near the refrigerator, focused on mashing buttons on her toy which has it making different animal sounds. I squat to give her a kiss on her head, then make my way over to Carol for a hug.
“Smells good in here,” I say after I pull away. “What are you making?”
Carol gestures an arthritic hand toward the oven. “Coffee cake. I figured you could take a loaf to your new family.”
I let out a strange laugh. “Still kind of weird hearing that, but thanks. Will do.”
Carol hums something charming as she makes me a cup of tea. I gratefully accept the hot cup and bring it to my lips.
“You know how to make a girl’s day,” I say, grinning at the elderly woman.
She beams at me. “You know I love you like a granddaughter, sweetheart. I may not have a lot of money, but I know the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach.”
We both giggle which makes Penny cackle too. God, I love that little girl.
“What’s with the guy sitting across the street. Does he live around here?”
“Silver sedan?” Carol asks. “I don’t know him. I’m supposed to tell Christopher if he shows up again.”
Christopher, her son who lives with her, is a cop. I like Christopher. It makes me feel better knowing Carol has protection.
“He showed up again. I got total creep vibes from him,” I tell her with a shiver before sipping more tea. “Is this a new flavor?”
“Different brand,” Carol says. “I’ve been experimenting with some new ones. I found one that helps with the aches and pains, especially at night.”
“Can’t sleep?”
“Not when my hips are angry.”
I meet her stare and ask, “Is it just for pain or does it make you sleepy?”
“I think it helps me sleep.” Carol chuckles and shakes her head. “Told your mother about it, too, since she’s anxious lately. Thought maybe it would help her relax. Of course, you know Jin. She disagrees with anything that’s not modern medicine.” Carol laughs again before saying, “Doctors.”
“Could I take a few tea bags with me to try?”
“You having trouble falling asleep, dear?”
Heat creeps up my neck and I focus on sipping the tea, pretending I’m not at all blushing, especially not over my stepdad. “Something like that,” I say instead. “New house. New sounds.”
“I can’t say I’m pleased with the abrupt news,” Carol says with a wrinkled frown. “Seems out of character for your mother. How are you really doing with it all? Jin says Penny is smitten with Addison.”
Everyone is smitten with Addison. She’s sweet and cute and fun. It’s hard to be frustrated by the situation when I’ve already grown attached to these people.
Which is why kissing Owen is a terrible thing to do…
“I like them,” I say honestly, meeting Carol’s gaze. “It’s nice to have people around, you know?”
She gives me a small smile. Something akin to pity ripples from her. It makes me feel all the more pathetic. My best friends are a two-year-old and her babysitter. I’m pathetic.
“I should go,” I blurt out, hating the wobble in my voice. “Thanks for the tea.”
“Any time, sweetheart.”
The house is quiet when I enter with Penny. It’s strange without all the chaos Owen’s kids typically bring. Mom keeps to herself, but there’s always an air of something when she’s around. Maybe it’s just that…frigid air.
“Hello, girls,” Owen says as he descends the stairs, looking more casual than usual in a pair of sweats and hoodie. “What are we in the mood to eat?”
I’m grateful he’s not acting weird now that we’re alone.
It would make for a long evening if he were.
After voicing that I want Chinese, I take Penny upstairs to give her a bath.
Once she’s clean and dressed in her jammies, I make my way back downstairs.
The food has arrived and Owen is already unboxing it all.
It smells divine. I get my sister into her high chair and then set to dishing out foods I know she’ll eat.
Owen puts to-go containers in the middle of the table for us to sample from.
“How’s school going?” he asks after we’re seated. “What are you majoring in?”
Penny offers me a handful of rice and I smile at her. “No thank you.”
She grunts and then stuffs the mess into her mouth. Owen chuckles.
“Forgot how messy toddlers are,” he says wistfully. “It’s nice having her around.”
My heart warms toward him even more. I may not fully understand why he’s in on this charade with Mom, but his feelings toward me and Penny are genuine. He likes having us here. It’s nice to be wanted and welcome.
“Elementary education,” I say, answering his earlier question. “Teaching could be fun.” I deflate a bit. “Mom says it’s a thankless job with poor pay.”
Owen’s eyebrows pinch together. “There are a lot of jobs out there like that. Sometimes it’s not about the pay. It’s about the calling.”
“And your job?” I probe, arching a brow.
“For me,” he says with an impish grin, “it’s a little of both.”
We continue to chat about my education and future.
He actually listens without judgment. Both my parents are doctors, so anything less than that is taking the easy way out in their eyes.
But I don’t want to be a doctor. I’ve seen the toll it takes on their lives. I actually want a family and free time.
“We dulled Penny to sleep,” Owen says when he glances over at her. “What a cutie.”
My baby sister is completely passed out, rice stuck to her pudgy cheeks. I smirk as I grab a wet paper towel to clean her off. She fusses a bit when I pull her out of her chair.
“I’ll get this cleared away while you put her to bed,” Owen murmurs. “Take your time. I know bedtime routine is important to you.”
A flash of pain cuts through my chest. I hug Penny to me, hissing her soft hair.
How can a man who barely knows me know me more than my own mother?
He’s absolutely right. I like making sure Penny is tucked in properly.
If she’s awake and I want her to sleep, we have a whole routine that includes reading two short books and saying “goodnight” to every single one of her stuffies.
Tonight, she’s already conked out, so putting her to bed is a quick affair.
I give her one last kiss before slipping out of her room.
After changing into a thin pair of cozy pajama pants, I head back downstairs.
Owen has already cleaned up our mess and is sprawled out on the sofa, legs kicked out on the coffee table, and pointing a remote at the television.
There’s literally anywhere else I could sit, but I boldly choose the place next to him on the couch.
Since he’s heavier than me, I sort of sink against him.
If he’s uncomfortable, he doesn’t let on.
I try not to touch him with my hands, but our thighs definitely are pressed together.
Heat burns hot through the material of my pants.
Owen flips absently through the apps on the television, but I can tell his mind is reeling, because he doesn’t settle on anything. I wonder if he’s still thinking about the kiss in the bathroom.
It was mutual.
We both let it happen.
“Can we talk about the other night?” he asks, voice gruff.
“I suppose we should.”
He leans forward to set the remote down and then angles his body toward me. As his navy-blue eyes drag over my face, my lower belly flutters with desire. So much for thinking the kiss was a mistake. I’d like to kiss him again.
What about Mom?
Even though their relationship is fake, there’s still just something decidedly wrong about pursuing her husband.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” he blurts out with a huff. “That was fucked up on my part.”
His words sting and I can’t help but flinch. “You didn’t do it alone, Owen.”
He doesn’t move away when I take hold of his hand. It’s easily the size of both of mine. I feel like a fairy princess beside this guardian angel of a man. Tiny, fragile, safe.
“I think I’ve just been lonely for a long time,” he admits in a whisper. “Leah, my ex-wife, was cold and often bordering on cruel. And what me and Jin have is transactional. With you…”
My heart catches in my throat.
With you.
Two words that sound so intimate and blazing with intensity.
I squeeze his hand to encourage him to continue.
“With you, I can feel parts of me waking up from a deep slumber. Or maybe it’s as if I’m finally being freed of the shackles I put on when I signed up for this life.” He swallows hard. “But it’s wrong to let myself get pulled into your orbit. Wrong for so many reasons.”
His words make sense, but I don’t like them. I’m beginning to realize that I like Owen as a human, but also more. He says he feels as if he’s been woken up when he’s around me. For me, it’s like I’m finally thawing after eighteen years of living in a cold, ice-covered world.
“Naturally the first guy I catch feelings for is someone unattainable,” I grumble, half playful, half not.
He reaches up with his other hand to stroke my cheek with his knuckle. “Just so you know, I feel the same way.”
We stare into each other’s eyes long enough that lava starts to flow through my veins, settling in my core. Owen breaks the silent, heated stare-off with a clear of his throat.
“Guess we should watch the movie.”
I give him a small, clipped nod. When his hand pulls from mine, I scoot a hair away from him so I’m not directly touching the man.
Distance is good.
But if it’s so good, why do I feel so cold again?