Chapter Twenty-Four
Alicia
Unlocking the door to my apartment, I throw up a thanks to whatever higher power is up there that my house is clean and I changed the sheets on my bed yesterday.
Rowan steps in, setting his bag down beside the door, and looks around the space slowly.
It’s not fancy or luxurious, but it’s home, and I’m proud of it.
The grey sofa is L-shaped and plush, with several throw pillows of all shapes, sizes, and colors.
The art on the walls is an eclectic mix of brightly colored paintings done by local artists.
The TV sits in the corner, mounted high on the wall with Lou’s cat tower below it.
I don’t see him anywhere, so he’s probably asleep in my closet.
“Want something to drink?” I ask nervously. I never bring men home to my apartment.
He turns around to track my movements to the kitchen. “Aye, whatever you’re having.”
I had planned on just water, but my anxiety is rearing it’s head, so I grab a couple of wine glasses and the bottle of Merlot that’s been sitting on my counter for the last month. The familiar motions of uncorking and pouring it are soothing. Otherwise, I have no idea what I’d do with my hands.
Holding the glasses firmly, I round the counter to make my way to the sofa.
As I pass in front of Ro, I stop and hand him his wine.
When he covers my hand with his and holds it there, I glance up at him.
We’re only inches apart, so close I can make out the gold flecks in his warm eyes.
He has a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheekbones that I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
Swallowing thickly, I nod. “You’re welcome.”
Finally, he pulls the glass from my hand and takes a sip, so I follow suit before asking, “Do you want to go sit?”
He smirks, then takes my glass. “No, darlin’. I don’t want to sit.” Placing our wine on the nearby side table, he slides his hands onto my hips. “I want to take you to bed.”
I can’t tell if the butterflies in my stomach are nerves or anticipation, so I just nod again then take his hand and lead him down the hall to my room. When we cross the threshold, I release his hand and move to the bedside table and switch on the lamp.
“No black,” Ro remarks, his voice laced with amusement.
Cocking my head to the side, I just look at him.
“I expected your room to be dark and mysterious, like you, but everything is so…soft and light.”
When I set my room up, I wanted it to be a place of tranquility, somewhere I could come and escape the demons in my head.
The creams and sage greens make this small room feel bigger, but still a safe cocoon for me to hide in.
Another reason why I’ve never brought a man back to my apartment. This is a sacred space.
“Even the dark of night misses the light of the moon sometimes.” I mumble as I look anywhere but at Rowan.
I hear him take careful steps in my direction then the tips of his shoes appear. He doesn’t touch me.
“If this is too much, we can slow down. I’m happy to just be in the same building as you.”
My eyes snap to his. “No, it’s not too much, I’m just…nervous.”
His auburn brows furrow. “About what?”
I’m not even sure if I can pinpoint why.
There are so many factors at play, including how monumental this all feels.
The first time we had sex was so life-altering that it scared me into running away.
I don’t want to run away again, but will I be able to resist the fight or flight instinct that is destined to take over?
Will he realize how damaged I am? How a relationship with me will never be easy?
“I don’t want to ruin us again,” I finally admit.
Understanding flickers in his eyes before he brushes my cheek with his knuckles. “I’m not going to let that happen, love. You have my word.”
His promise seems genuine, but I don’t think I’m capable of trusting anyone’s word. I also know that if I push him away now, I’ll hate myself even more than I already do.
“Okay.”
Slowly, like he’s approaching a wild animal, he leans in and lightly brushes his lips over mine, the hair of his beard tickling my skin.
Each time I kiss Rowan, it’s different than the last. I open for him, granting access to more than just my mouth.
Each stroke of his tongue speaks a language all his own that I’m desperate to become fluent in.
His hands reiterate every unspoken word as he pulls me into his embrace, flattening one hand at the base of my spine while the other cradles my jaw.
I can’t tell if this is his way of keeping me from escaping or telling me I’m precious to him.
The first is expected, the second is completely foreign.
One moment we’re standing there, getting lost in this kiss, the next we’re tumbling onto my bed, hands tugging at clothing and sliding onto overheated skin.
I don’t know when our shirts came off, but the instant his chest presses into mine, it feels like a piece I didn’t know was missing has clinked back into place.
When Rowan breaks the kiss to sit back on his heels, I whine in protest until I get distracted by the tattoos all over his torso.
The Celtic Hare now has the addition of roses and thorny vines.
The artist did a fantastic job of weaving them through the Celtic swirls without it looking too busy.
I brush my fingers over one of the roses and realize it’s the same as the two on my chest.
“These look familiar,” I say smugly.
“Don’t go gettin’ a big head.” He teases, but his eyes are still hooded with lust.
“When did you get this done?”
He hesitates, then answers quietly. “A month after Ireland. It’s not the only one I got.”
I lift my brows curiously. “What else?”
He extends his right arm and rotates it so I can see the tattoo on his inner bicep. I gasp and sit up, locking my hands around his arm
“That’s my Phoenix!” I exclaim.
It’s an exact replica, only minuscule. Small enough that in order to really see it, you have to be up close and personal.
Ro chuckles awkwardly. “Aye, it is.”
I meet his eyes. “How did you remember all the details?”
Even though it’s dimly lit in my room, I can see his cheeks flush. “Can I tell you after we—.”
“No way!” I giggle like an idiot. “I won’t be able to focus on anything until I know. Please, tell me?” I pout my lips and bat my lashes.
“Christ,” Rowan runs a hand over his face. “Fine. That night, after we…, yeah. You were asleep on your stomach, hair all wild around you, and the sheets had slid down. You took my breath away, so I…I took a picture.”
Stunned, I just stare at him.
“I had planned on showing you, but never got the chance.”
Because I bailed before he had the chance.
“Ro,” I start, cupping his jaw. “I’m sorry.”
He turns his head slightly to kiss my wrist. “We’re past that now, yeah? I got them as a reminder of the best night of my life, not that I really needed help remembering. It’s played on repeat ever since.”
My eyes burn with the threat of tears, and I don’t want to cry right now, so I kiss him and drag my hand down his chest until I find the button of his jeans.
At first, I think he’s going to stop me because my questions killed the mood, but instead he angles his head to deepen the kiss while cupping my breasts in his hands.
As he grazes my nipples with his thumbs, I loosen the button and tug the zipper down.
Ro grunts when I slide my hands into the back of his briefs and grip his ass before sliding his pants down to free his cock.
“I don’t want to wait anymore,” I whisper against his mouth. “I need to feel you.”
With the grace and agility of a cat, he leaps off the bed and has his pants removed in the blink of an eye.
I open my mouth to comment, but he begins to prowl toward me, pressing a hand to my chest until I’m on my back again.
I shiver when his fingers curl into the band of my pants and begin to slowly slide them down my legs, dragging my underwear with them.
“What did I tell you I was going to do if you were wearing your knickers when I came back?” He’s trying to sound menacing, but all it’s doing is turning me on even more.
“Something about eating me.” I shrug like I don’t care. “But I think your bark is worse than your bite.”
Narrowing his eyes, he grips my thighs with enough force I’m sure I’ll bruise and wrenches my legs apart. “You and that bratty mouth. After I keep my promise about eating you, maybe I’ll find something better for those lips to do, yeah?”
I don’t get a chance to respond before he’s licking into my pussy roughly.
My hips buck, and I cry out at the sudden sensation.
Rowan keeps his word and devours me until I’m screaming and writhing against his mouth.
My fingers are knotted into his hair as I hold on for dear life, but the bastard keeps withholding my release, bringing me right to the edge of orgasm then switching it up.
I need to come, but I don’t really want him to stop either.
“Rowan, please,” I eventually beg on a sob. “Baby, I need to come. Please let me come.”
One hand releases my thigh, darting up to my breast. Just as he sucks my clit into his mouth, he pinches my nipple behind the piercing, tugging it roughly and I detonate with a sound I’ve never made before.
I orgasm so hard that I think I blackout for a second.
All the while, Ro keeps lapping at my pussy and pulling on my nipple.
He doesn’t stop until my body goes limp and I’m gasping for breath.
He grins up at me, placing a kiss to my hip bone where the tiny cat outline tattoo sits.
“Now, are you going to be a good lass and do as your told from now on?”
I snort. “Not if that’s my punishment. I’ll defy you at every turn.”
“‘Course you will.”
“Ro?”
He smiles. “Aye, love?”
“Stop talking and fuck me, already.”