CHAPTER 17
KNOX
Today is the day and I can’t believe it’s finally here. Really, I can’t believe it’s happening at all. By all accounts, today should not be happening. But it is.
Haven and Wilde are moving into my house today. I’m hoping that soon we can legitimately call it our house, but I know she’s not ready for that. Not yet. She will be, though.
After more than a week of talking, deliberating, coming up with ground rules, showing her my full background check and financial reports, and some begging on my part, she decided to give what I was offering her a chance. Trust me, I understand why it was a difficult decision for her.
If I were in her shoes, I’m not sure I would be able to make the same choice she made. But I’m damn glad she’s moving in today.
After last week’s Christmas festivities, it felt like she had already made her decision but was waiting for some kind of sign. Not being deterred by her uncertainty, I started sending her pictures of the way I was redoing one of my guest rooms for Wilde.
Is one wall now a chalkboard while another is a whiteboard? Yes. He’s going to be able to draw on his walls and if that’s not a kid’s dream come true then I don’t know what is.
With every piece I added to the room, including a twin bed and paint splatter sheets, I would send Haven a picture. She tried to protest at first but then quickly realized it wasn’t going to stop me.
I was ready no matter which way she went with my proposal. To me it was simply a matter of time before she said yes. Even if it took her months.
Finally, she took pity on me a few days ago and we decided there was no reason to wait. Tomorrow we’ll be joining the Banks family holiday celebration. She’s nervous about it, but I know it’ll go well.
Hell, if I were a betting man, I’d put money on Haven finding more friendships and babysitters. I’m looking forward to it.
Almost as much as I’m looking forward to going to sleep tonight while knowing my family is safe and happy under the same roof as me.
When we sat down with Laura and Wendy to let them know of our plans, neither one of them looked surprised. Still, their need to ensure Haven and Wilde’s safety was at the forefront of their minds.
Laura’s gaze was intense as she looked at Haven. “Are you sure this is what you want? We will support you, no matter what. There is no pressure for you to leave here.”
Haven smiled, her decision settling around her in a way she hadn’t allowed until that moment. “I’m sure,” she assured her. “I’ve been thinking about it since he asked me the same day we went to the museum. We’ve talked about it and I’m confident this is the right next step for me.”
“And,” Laura’s eyes flicked to me uncertainly, “if you two don’t work out? What happens then?”
“Then nothing changes,” I assured her even though I was confident we would work out. “Haven and Wilde will always have a home, no matter what happens between us.”
Laura took a deep breath and nodded while her eyes remained apprehensive.
“Haven, our resources are still available to you as long as you need them, no matter where you are living. We’ll help you with figuring out school next year for Wilde or homeschool resources for the rest of this year.
You’re welcome to continue therapy through us and Wilde is welcome to continue with art classes. ”
Haven’s eyes became glassy with unshed tears. “Thank you,” her voice was thick with emotion.
There were hugs and whispered words of gratitude passed around.
I barely heard anything because it felt like we had gotten over a huge hurdle.
Haven was nervous about telling Laura the plan.
She was afraid the woman would judge her, but her moving into my house isn’t just about us.
It’s mostly about her being able to take this step in a way which still keeps her safe.
She hasn’t heard anything about her ex and Duncan is still looking into it. As much as I would love to pretend like her past will never come back up, it would be stupid for me not to be prepared. I won’t risk Haven and Wilde. I can’t.
After checking Wilde’s room one more time, even though I know it’s perfect, I head out the door with a spring in my step. I pull my phone out of my pocket to find texts from my family filled with their excitement.
I knew my crew would love Haven and Wilde just like I do. Everyone opened their hearts to them, and it wasn’t just because I was already gone for them. No, Haven and Wilde charmed them all on their own.
All Wilde had to do was be himself and show his appreciation and interest in art.
But it was more than him just being the little sponge he is.
The questions he asked showed an insight and innate talent without the need for paper and art supplies to be obvious.
Only an artist would have asked the things he did, or gotten what he did from the work we looked at while touring the museum.
While Wilde hung out with the guys of our family, including Ian, Haven bonded with the ladies.
I’m glad because she deserves to have some fierce women at her back and Tenley, Monroe, and Avery are fierce.
While Avery might not think so, she really has no idea how easy it is to see her bravery and courage.
I have no doubt that by the time the baby is born Bridger, and the rest of us, will have her convinced of her own strength.
Everyone has been asking me about Haven and Wilde.
They want to be able to spend more time with them.
They also know it has to be up to Haven and is dependent on what she’s comfortable with.
Hopefully, she gets comfortable quickly because Travis is liable to stop by and pick Wilde up for a day out without warning.
The guy is amazed by the kid, which I completely understand.
Wilde really liked Travis as well. It was not a one-sided admiration society. Am I a little jealous? Yes, but I’m not going to say that shit. I’m barely even going to let myself feel it.
Wilde needs people at his back who he feels comfortable with. I’ll never take that away from him.
Because I love him. More than I ever thought possible.
And I love his mom. As much as I wish I could tell her, I know it’s not time yet.
With having her in my house, her things mixing with mine and the sound of a little boy’s footsteps and laughter taking up space, it’s going to be hard to keep my feelings to myself.
Her room is next to mine which is going to be a test of my control.
As much as I wish I could move her right into the primary bedroom with me, I can’t.
But she’ll know my door is always open to her.
Always.
The rest of the people we call a family are excited about meeting my little family as well.
I reached out to Amelia, Beckett’s wife, to let her know about Haven and Wilde joining me for the holiday get together.
She had a lot of questions, most of which I could answer including any dietary needs, but some I didn’t answer just yet.
There was no way I was going to tell Amelia that I’ve fallen in love with Haven before I tell her. Just no.
I’m hoping having a place to come home to that isn’t the shelter will help settle Haven’s nerves about the family gathering tomorrow. Telling her there’s going to be a lot of people, and kids, did not help at all.
When I get to Safe Home, Haven is putting a bag into the trunk of her car which is parked in front even though it is not where it’s normally stored. They keep the number of cars down in front of the remodeled house to ensure people don’t look too closely.
The moment I stop my truck, she turns in my direction, and a wide smile stretches across her face. Seeing it, and knowing I’ll be able to see her smile so much more starting today, has my heart clenching in my chest. I want it.
I want so much more too, but I can be patient.
Fuck. It won’t be easy, but I can do it. For her. Always for her.
As I approach her, I try to keep some of my eagerness in check. She should know how excited I am, but she doesn’t need to know about how I’ve been dreaming about today. You know what I mean?
“I told you to wait for me and I’d help you carry everything out,” I admonish her, but my voice is gentle because I never want her to think I’m mad at her.
“It wasn’t much,” she explains.
When she looks toward the house, Wilde’s face is there peeking up over the ledge of one of the front windows. He’s trying to be sly about it because he’s not supposed to be doing it. And he knows it. Haven just chuckles and shakes her head.
“Also, I think Wilde was about to carry everything out himself if I didn’t,” she admits, her voice low.
“He’s excited, huh?”
She shoots me a knowing look and sasses, “If I had to guess, he’s not the only one.”
I bark out a laugh, my head tipping back as I do. “I’m so glad you’re excited,” I tease her as I slide my arm around her waist and pull her a step closer to me even though it doesn’t close the distance between us completely.
When she steps even closer, my fucking soul sighs. It’s a strange feeling, but I know how important it is when she’s the one to initiate contact. I know the weight of her actions.
“I wasn’t talking about me,” she snarks even though a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.
“I think you were,” I fire back without missing a beat. “It’s okay,” I assure her, “I won’t tell anyone.”
Haven huffs out a laugh and rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t deny my words. The grin on my face as I look down at her starts to hurt my cheeks, but it’s the best fucking feeling.
“How much more stuff do I need to carry out?”
“Nothing,” she looks toward her car, “that was the last of it. We haven’t let ourselves collect a lot of stuff.”
“That changes now,” I rasp, the words fierce as they leave me.
She takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Yeah,” she agrees, but it feels too easy.