CHAPTER 19
KNOX
When I hear Wilde squeal from the other room, I look up and meet Haven’s gaze. She’s on the other side of the room talking with Amelia and quite a few of the other members of this gigantic, chaotic, and completely over the top family. The smile she flashes me is pure rainbow after the rain recedes.
The happiness written all over her face makes me want to break out in song in the middle of this party. Or maybe do a dance. Probably both.
Haven was nervous before the party tonight, but it wasn’t as bad as when she met the Vibrant Ink crew.
Maybe because I’m much closer to our smaller family.
Or maybe a lot of tension was relieved last night when she walked into my room.
She was so fucking brave and fearless; I’ve never been more impressed by someone.
She could have stayed in the guest room, which was always only going to be temporary. I wouldn’t have followed her into her space. I wouldn’t have pressured her in any way.
But she didn’t stay in her room.
She came to me, uncertain and needy. I knew why she was there the moment she slipped past my door. As much as I wanted to jump up and give her exactly what she needed, I had to hear the words. The last thing I ever want to do is push her or misunderstand anything.
I wasn’t going to be taking two steps back. Not with her. Not when it matters too much.
Last night was the best fucking night of my life. To feel her. To touch her. To kiss her without worry. It was everything I knew it would be and so much fucking more.
The best part was finding her still in my arms when I woke up.
A soft noise of surprise is what woke me up and when I looked up at my doorway, Wilde was there.
His eyes were wide and taking in how I was snuggled up to Haven.
His steps were hesitant as he came closer and when I smiled at him to let him know I wasn’t mad, his shoulders relaxed.
He whispered, “Why is Mommy in here and not in her room?” His face turned concerned, “Did she have a nightmare? It happens sometimes.”
“She said the room she was in didn’t feel quite right and it felt better to be in here with me,” I told him the truth while leaving out everything he didn’t need to know. “Is that okay with you, Bud?”
He nodded eagerly and as much as I hated pulling away from her, I wanted her to be able to sleep a little longer.
She stirred when my heat wasn’t blanketing her back, but she didn’t wake up.
She did roll over with a huff of annoyance, and I was damn glad I took the time to pull her nightgown back over her body before pulling on my own clothes and going to sleep last night.
The sound Haven made, a mix of a snore and a whine, as I climbed out of bed, had Wilde and I covering our mouths and trying not to laugh. We worked together, me only slightly less messy than Wilde, to get breakfast made before Haven woke up and wandered into the kitchen.
Where yesterday was a little awkward as we all tried to settle into our new reality, this morning felt effortless and natural.
Wilde was comfortable and thrilled to help me make pancakes.
Haven was sleep rumpled and there wasn’t even a little bit of fear on her face as we sat down around the table.
Me? I was barely containing my giddiness.
This morning was the first one I spent with my family as a family. It was perfect.
And syrup-y.
What more could a man want?
Now we’ve been at the Banks family gathering for about an hour. Wilde was immediately embraced, not only by the adults but the kids too. Etheridge, Amelia and Beckett’s eldest son, took Wilde under his wing right away. They talked about their names and how Wilde and Ridge sounded so cool together.
Will I be surprised if they, one day, form a band or a club or secret society? Nope. Not even a little bit. They can get this mischievous sparkle in their eyes from time to time that speaks of trouble.
And fun, but mostly trouble.
I hated when Haven was pulled away from me, but I had to allow it to happen. I wasn’t worried about her being included as a member of the family, it was bound to happen the moment everyone met her.
I watched on in amusement as she met everyone with wide eyes and an expression on her face that said she wished everyone was wearing name tags, at least, or coordinated shirts, at most. Honestly, it wouldn’t be a bad idea considering how many people we’re talking about.
When I glance over at Troy, he’s grinning at me in a way that makes me nervous as fuck, while almost making me want to laugh. Talk about the cat that ate the canary.
“You look like you’re up to no good,” my tone is wary as hell.
“Me?” He presses his hand to his chest like he’s the picture of innocence.
It’s total bullshit, the man lives for family friendly trouble and mayhem.
He glances over at Haven and then back at me.
“I am a little surprised that you fell in love with a single mom,” he muses while I narrow my eyes in warning. “It’s a big commitment.”
“If you’re worried, I can assure you I’m all in with my family, and they are my family. There’s no doubt in my mind. One day, whenever he’s ready, Wilde is going to call me ‘dad’ and it will be one of the best days of my life,” my voice is fierce and thick with emotion.
Troy’s face smooths out from amused to understanding. “They both deserve everything you have to give. Just remember we’re all here for you if you need it. And when I say you, I mean all three of you,” he clarifies.
I glance over at Haven to find her looking at me with a raised eyebrow and questions in her eyes. I shake my head slightly to let her know it’s nothing she needs to worry about. I know she’ll still be curious; it’s just the kind of person she is.
The best part about taking things slow with my woman, and the kid I consider my son even though he’s not my blood, has been having the opportunity to get to know them both.
Wilde is a little boy with the heart of an artist and the silliness of a prankster.
It’s something I’ve seen come out of him more and more as he’s gotten comfortable with me.
The way he’s opened up to show me who he is, even though he’s still a work in progress, as we all are, has been a humbling experience.
In a lot of ways he wasn’t nearly as guarded as Haven. But in other ways he was even more insulated. I think it had less to do with me and more to do with being used to staying small, figuratively and literally, in the past.
Fuck; I wish I could track that asshole down and tell him just what he lost and missed out on. Knowing he probably wouldn’t care doesn’t help the rage simmering just below the surface.
My little family should have been cherished. While I’m glad I found them, because something would have always been missing in my life if I hadn’t, it’s still difficult to live with knowing they had to go through something traumatic as fuck to get here.
Before I can tell Troy where to shove it, with a smile on my face of course, his oldest pair of twins, Mason and Ethan, run up to him with big smiles on their faces. His other set are around here somewhere. I swallow hard because four kids feels like a lot.
I suppose the only good thing is they’re only outnumbered by one kid between Troy, Ellie, and Walsh. After Ellie had Mason and Ethan almost six years ago, I wasn’t expecting any more pregnancy announcements from them. Jokes on me, there was one more on the horizon. Ellie insists she’s done now.
To be fair, I can’t blame her. I also wouldn’t be surprised to find out they’re expecting one more time. If she gets pregnant with a third set of twins, I’ll laugh my ass off. Not in front of Ellie, because I value my nuts, thank you very much.
“Isn’t it time for pie?” Mason’s question seems innocent, but his eyes are lit up with pure trouble.
I’ve seen the same look on Troy’s face and there’s no question in my mind about where the boy gets it. Walsh isn’t much better, honestly. The two of them? Ellie must be a saint.
Or a few crayons short of a full box. Whichever. Or maybe both.
“Pie?” Troy sounds genuinely baffled, but I know it’s all for show. “I don’t think I saw any pie when I got a drink for your mom earlier.”
The twins huff and roll their eyes like they’ve seen this act before. They probably have. I’m left to rub a hand over my jaw and mouth to hide my amusement.
“Sure,” they say in unison, holding out the word with disbelief like they spend time practicing it.
“Don’t be trying to use your twin jedi mind magic on me,” Troy exclaims while pointing between the boys who share a look and a wide grin before looking back at one of their dads.
They don’t look sorry or concerned in the least as they turn their attention to me. “Wilde is really cool, Uncle Knox,” Ethan informs me. “He needs a tablet so we can play games together. We’ll add him to our friend list and everything after you make an account.”
“Yeah,” Mason cheers with a big grin on his face. “I like him too, Uncle Knox,” he agrees before his face scrunches up slightly, “even though he likes cats more than dogs.”
“Cats?” I can’t help it when the one-word question slips past my lips.
Ethan nods eagerly. “When we asked if he would rather have a cat or a dog, he wasn’t sure because he’s never had a pet. After thinking about it for a moment, he chose cat. Dogs are way more loyal, but they’re better than fish because then you have to clean their tank.”
Troy is almost doubled over in laughter, his finger pointing toward my face which I’m sure is a mixture of confusion, amusement, and a touch of terrified horror. The twins don’t seem at all concerned about my reaction considering they look at each other and shrug.
“No one wants to clean tank scum,” Troy says, his face carefully blank bordering on serious. How he manages to keep his voice even, I’ll never know.