eighteen #2
But maybe it was more. Or another kind of riding that left him feeling so jubilant.
They’d had sex, like real proper sex, and it was even better than he could ever have imagined.
The touching, feeling his body held by another man, the smells, tastes, and feelings…
. He’d watched loads of porn growing up, like most kids his age, but nothing had prepared him for the real event.
This had felt so right, so intimate, such a world away from the muscled straining bodies he’d watched on screen, with their monotonously repetitive cries of fake lust. Ramon had finally fucked him, slowly, deeply, lovingly, and it had felt like an exotic flower in his heart had opened, peeling back its delicate petals one by one, each thrust revealing another tender spot in his most vulnerable private self.
And all the time they were fucking, he was drowning in Ramon’s dark gaze.
Their eyes never left each other, except momentarily when they changed position slightly, such as Ramon releasing one of his ankles, letting his leg fall, so that he could straddle it, and fuck David harder and deeper from a sideways position, his other ankle still raised and resting on Ramon’s shoulder, where Ramon was smothering it with kisses, licking his toes, his gaze still boring into David even as he fucked him.
Ramon had done things to him he hadn’t believed possible, opened him up and laid him bare.
He simply hadn’t wanted their lovemaking ever to end.
Now sitting beside Ramon in his pickup, he felt completely satiated, emotionally and physically.
But a third reason came to him: This… this situation…
together, it felt like he’d finally come home, as if they’d been coming out here to run the horses on the sandspit their whole lives.
This place in the passenger seat, with its splitting upholstery covered by an old jumper of Ramon’s, felt rightfully his.
The big old sagging double bed back at the masia that they’d barely slept in yet felt like it was his bed too. He wished it could be.
But with that thought, reality hit. It was stupid, it was wrong, and it was really cruel to Ramon, because once this weekend was over…
. David looked out the window and tried to focus on how beautiful the dunes were with the sun’s evening rays turning them golden-orange, the shadows of the umbrella pines beyond the car park stretching out in long purple stripes across the café‘s sun-kissed deck.
Even though it was evening, it was still warm, mid-May, and they were now getting the occasional day that promised real summer heat.
They got out of the pickup, David walking across to the café while Ramon quickly checked the float to make sure the horses were OK before joining him.
“Exercised, fed, they’re falling asleep back there,” he said as he took his place at the table opposite him.
A young waiter came to take their order.
In his early twenties, chatty and keen, he described the different dishes the café offered—mainly salads and quiche-type dishes—with a gushing enthusiasm that rushed on oblivious to the weary glow within which Ramon and David sat basking.
Ramon eventually stopped him and asked him to bring the hot dish he most recommended.
For two. Once they were alone again, David said:
“Thanks for today… all of it. I haven’t ridden like that for ages.
It was a bit like how we used to ride when I was a kid.
Only more responsible,” he smiled coyly.
“We’d wreck the horses. My dad would always be on at us that we’d give them colic or founder them.
But we were kids, we’d treat them like racing cars, ride them till they were foaming at the mouth.
Luckily nothing bad ever happened. At least I know better nowadays. ”
“We gave them a good work-out—Ferro damn well needed it, and I don’t think Desdemona gets ridden enough—but we cooled them down properly and rubbed them down. They should be fine. How are you feeling?”
“To be honest, I’m wrecked too. Maybe we could… don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved it all, what we did… it’s been amazing, but maybe we could… sleep a little more tonight?”
“I’ll think about it,” said Ramon chuckling. “How’s your ass feeling?”
David couldn’t help his blush even as he smiled coyly.
“Ah… sore? Ridden hard by two different animals in the last… twelve hours.”
Just then the waiter arrived with a tray containing bread and two steaming plates of estofado, a thick beef and potato stew.
They kept their laughter to themselves as he unloaded everything, setting it out before them.
Then they began to eat. After a night in which they had barely slept, followed by intense lovemaking and then an equally intense ride, it was just what they needed, and silence fell as they ate.
Finally Ramon pushed back his plate, while David was still mopping up the final blobs of stew with the last of the bread. Then he too sat back:
“That was delicious! Now I just need a kip.”
“Don’t fall asleep on me in the car. We still have to return Desdemona and get Ferro back into his paddock.”
“I might grab a couple of winks on the way.”
They looked at each other for a minute, smiling though not saying anything, but feeling relaxed in each other’s company. Ramon looked happier than David had ever seen him. It tore at his heart, and finally he had to look away.
“What are you thinking?” Ramon asked.
David realized he was going to have to lie to Ramon for the first time.
“This is just too perfect, you know? I….” He couldn’t think of any viable way to finish the sentence.
“Too perfect?” Ramon asked. “It’s perfect. Why the ‘too’?”
“Well, I’m… just passing through… I…”
“So stay.” When David didn’t answer, instead just studying his empty plate, Ramon pushed on: “Davey, face up to whatever it is you’re running—“
“I’m not running from anything, and please don’t call me that. My name’s David!”
Now David’s blue eyes were blazing, and he was staring at Ramon with something approaching anger.
“OK, I didn’t mean… I just meant… stay if you want to, that’s all.”
“I can’t.”
In the silence it felt suddenly cold, the last of the sun having slipped from the day.
“I’m going to pay,” said Ramon gruffly.
“No, we should go halves.”
“Let me!” Ramon had already stood up quickly, his chair falling over behind him. He sounded angry. “I want to invite you.” And he stalked off toward the cash register.
David considered whether to insist, but then stood up and walked more slowly back toward the pickup and float. He leaned on the hood until Ramon arrived.
“Sorry,” he said when Ramon came out. “There’s things I can’t….”
“Don’t worry,” Ramon said. “I shouldn’t pry.” He now sounded cold and formal.
David stood up and went back to check on the horses, opening the little door at the front of the float, so he could duck in to check their feed.
He stood there in the gloom for several long moments, just breathing and letting the horses’ presence calm him, though they had both finished their feed and were stamping impatiently to get out of the float and back to their paddocks.
He added a handful more of feed to each nose bag to keep them quiet for the journey.
Coming down here with the copper had been a massive mistake.
He’d known it at the time and now it was all coming together in a slow-motion car-crash moment.
His stuff was back at the guy’s place. He’d have to get it and…
leave. They’d taken this as far as it could go.