Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
Brittney
I’m staring out the window when Sabine walks into the living room.
I turn away and begin wringing my hands. “Sorry. Jackie is with Mrs. Stone. Dr. Squire just left.”
“You don’t have to apologize for taking a break.”
By the look on her face, I can tell that she has something to say to me.
Shit.
She knows.
My stomach drops.
“Let’s sit outside, yes?”
I swallow the knot in my throat and follow Sabine onto the patio. Nervously, I search the garden while Sabine sits in one of the padded wicker chairs. I sit next to her. She hands me a glass of iced tea, one of two that I didn’t even notice she was carrying when she walked into the room.
“So,” she begins. “How are you liking it here?”
“Ah, it’s—it’s great.”
“Yeah?” By her tone it’s obvious she doesn’t believe me.
“Yeah.” I blow out a breath and lean back. “I’m just thankful to have this job.”
“Has it been difficult finding a job? You’re fresh out of school, right?”
I nod, but hesitate, embarrassed to open up to this beautiful, confident woman next to me who appears to have it all.
Sabine leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “What’s going on, Brittney?”
“I’m just so afraid I’m going to mess this up.” My chin begins to quiver and tears spring to my eyes.
She puts her hand on my shoulder.
“Cry. It’s okay. I can tell you’ve got a lot bottled up. Let it out, girl.”
I do, sputtering tears like a child. It feels good.
Sabine strokes my back the entire time. When I’ve gathered myself, she says, “If you’re so afraid you’re going to mess this up, then don’t.”
I snort, look at her.
“Meaning, just do your best every day. That’s all you can do. Do the best you can with what you have. My mom always told me that.” She pauses. “Also, take it one day at a time. Today, do the best you can. Tomorrow, do the best you can, and so on. Look at it as little steps at a time—not the whole staircase.”
“Thanks.” I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “You’re so smart.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve made a million mistakes, and learned from them.”
I take a deep breath, feeling better. “Money is just so tight, and it’s like I’m living month to month barely scraping by.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
“You’re so young. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone is poor at your age, trust me.”
A moment passes, and once I think I’m in the clear, she says?—
“Now, tell me what you aren’t telling me.”
I close my eyes and sigh.
“I see you watching for someone or something every hour of every day. What are you looking for?”
“Leo and I had sex,” I blurt out.
“Wow.” Sabine’s eyes pop. She laughs. “Of all the things I thought you were going to say, that was definitely not it.”
“Really? I just assumed he’d told you, and that’s why you came out here.”
“Nope. Leo’s a quiet guy.”
“Tell me about it,” I mumble.
“Okay, spill it. What happened?”
I take a deep breath. “When he’s not here, he works at Spittin’ Suzie, a beach bar in the next town over.”
“What a terrible name.”
“I know. Anyway, about six months ago, I went with some of my girlfriends. Long story short, he and I went home together that night and had sex.”
“Was it good?”
I cut her a look.
She laughs. “Okay, so that’s a yes.”
“Very good. It was only my—well, I haven’t dated a lot.”
“I see. Okay so then what happened?”
“That was it. He never called me, or texted, or spoke to me again. And the thing is, we had the most wonderful talk before we had sex. I felt a connection to him, you know? But then, he didn’t even let me stay the night; told me he had to be up early in the morning and herded me out the front door like cattle. . . . I wasn’t even fully dressed.”
Sabine winces. “Ouch.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it. So then . . . ughhh. ” I bury my face in my hands in embarrassment. “A week later or so, I went back to the bar—I know, I know. Stupid. But I was just . . . I don’t know, I was mad and hurt and wanted to see him.”
“And how did he react?”
“He acted like he didn’t even know me. He wouldn’t even wait on me.”
“Double-ouch.”
“That’s not the worst part. I kept going back, Sabine.”
Sabine winces again, then puts her hand on my back. “We’ve all been there.”
“I don’t know why. I just couldn’t get over it. Every time I’d pull into the parking lot, I’d tell myself, ‘this is ridiculous. You’re making a fool of yourself,’ but then I’d go anyway. I stalked him, Sabine.”
“Did he ever talk to you?”
“No.”
“So then, when I got offered this job, I was so excited, because you know Astor Stone. ” Sabine grins. “And when I read the case report I saw Leo’s name. But I couldn’t turn down this job. When I got here and saw him outside, I almost threw up. He has got to think I am literally stalking him at this point.” I shake my head. “It’s so hard. I really liked him. He’s so, like, alpha military dude, you know?”
Sabine laughs. “Trust me, I know. . . . And, yes,” she leans in. “Mr. Stone and I are in a relationship.”
“I knew it!”
“I figured you did.”
“How did it happen?”
“He kidnapped me.”
I laugh so hard I break into a coughing fit.
Sabine deadpans.
“Oh my—you’re serious.”
“As a heart attack.”
“So you’re like living every dark romance book ever.”
“Pretty much. Like a messed-up beauty and beast.”
I laugh again.
“It’s complicated,” she continues, “as is anything worth having in life.” She takes my hand. “Listen. The best way to get over a guy is to?—”
“I know I know. Get under another one.”
“No, Brittney, the best way to get over a guy is to fall in love with yourself.” She smiles. “Come on, I have some lipstick that would look stunning with your skin tone, and dress that would fit you like a glove.”