Chapter 4
Mia
By the time I make it back down to the quad, my ten-minute timer long since expired, I’m red-cheeked and breathless from running the whole way.
Standing at the edge of the lawn, one hand pressing into my ribs to stave off a stitch that started almost as soon as I began running, because I haven’t run anywhere since my last phys ed class in high school, I scan the groups of students passing back and forth, looking for a familiar face.
No trace of Alice or Oliver, not even Bryn and his treacherous tote.
The passing crowds of students seem to swell, the happy conversations around me getting louder and louder. They’re all gone. I’m on my own. They said they’d wait but they didn’t.
‘Why should they?’ I whisper to myself, ignoring an embarrassing pang of hurt.
It’s dumb to be disappointed in people I don’t even know, but I can’t help it.
I wanted to believe them. I wanted them to want to wait.
A knot begins to form in my stomach and the thought of walking into the student union alone fills me with the kind of dread usually reserved for dentist appointments, midterms and visiting my ultra-religious uncle who thinks a woman showing her ankles is an affront to God.
Today has already been a lot, with the travel and the Ethan of it all.
Maybe I should go back to my room, regroup and—
‘Oh good, you’re still here!’
Correction, they’re not all gone. Alice skips up behind me, sliding her arm through mine and pulling me along as though we’ve traipsed across this quad together a thousand times before.
‘I was going back to my room anyway, so I told the others to go on and I’d call for you,’ she says, tucking her coppery bob behind a heavily studded ear as I shake off my panic and paste on a smile. ‘I must’ve missed you by a millisecond.’
‘A millisecond,’ I agree, thrilled she didn’t catch me talking to Ethan.
The relief is all-consuming and the knot that wrapped itself around my internal organs dissolves into butterflies.
She’s wearing a different outfit, a bright blue slip dress with spaghetti straps like it’s the middle of summer even though it definitely is not.
‘You went back to get changed?’ I ask, panic flashing through me that my floor-length, button-through vintage dress is all wrong for where we’re going, but Alice shakes her head.
‘No. I mean, yes, I did change but I mostly went to use the loo. I know it’s the first day and the toilets in the union are probably fine but why use a public toilet when you can use your own, and wow look at your face, I am oversharing. You think I’m a total weirdo.’
‘I think you’re very smart,’ I correct her. ‘Between us, I must’ve been at least fourteen before I even realized they have bathrooms in public places. My mom is not a fan. You never met a toddler with better bladder control than this girl.’
‘Does she know my mum?’ Alice asks, laughing. ‘Jenna’s always ripped the piss out of me, but I can’t help it, it’s the way I was raised. My mother taught me two things, don’t take sweets from strangers and never sit on a public toilet seat.’
I scrunch up my face. ‘Not even Swedish candy?’
‘Not even. Although I would risk it all for a Percy Pig.’ She stalls in the middle of the path without warning, forcing the two guys walking behind us to quickly divert. ‘Oh my God, Mia. Very serious question. Have you ever had a Percy Pig?’
When I shake my head, she sucks in a gasp so huge her entire body seems to double in size.
‘This is a violation of your human rights,’ she declares. ‘And something we must rectify immediately, if not sooner, except it’ll have to wait until tomorrow because M&S is closed by now, sorry. So that means this must be your first time in England?’
I’m still hanging off her arm as she starts up again, leading me past the Lawton building, its buttercup walls turned to golden honey by the late afternoon sun.
‘How did you know?’
‘Because you definitely would’ve tried one of our most famous delicacies if you’d been here before. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. First free day you get, I’m going to take you on a culinary tour of England. The big Tesco won’t know what’s hit it.’
Even though I’ve only ever heard terrible things about British food, I smile, appreciative of the gesture.
My diet was one of the first issues my mom raised when I told my parents about the exchange programme.
Along with the weather, driving on the wrong side of the road, whether or not the campus was safe, how I would cope with the time difference, the British pronunciation of the word ‘schedule’, and another five thousand or so other issues she brought up so often I could, and often did, recite them to myself when I woke up in the middle of the night.
There have to be fifty protein bars in my suitcase, an entire Costco case of Barebells or Quest bars, whatever kick my mom is on at the moment. Either way, I’m not about to starve.
‘Well, I’m glad I found you,’ Alice says, squeezing my arm. ‘I hate walking into a busy room on my own and hunting for friends, which is another deeply embarrassing confession. Americans are always so confident.’
‘Right, super confident.’
I can’t think of a single reason why she would ever need to know that I was four seconds away from bailing back to my room if she hadn’t shown up.
‘Must be weird though, even if you’re the most confident person on the planet. Coming to a new university in third year, leaving all your mates back home? It has to be hard.’
I nod but say nothing. Something else she doesn’t need to know about, my friends back home or lack thereof.
Alice carries on talking, happy to take the lead while I take in my new surroundings.
Between the old buildings and the grand trees that dot the grounds, it’s impossibly beautiful, like a painting come to life.
‘Aside from seeing Jonathan Bailey in Selfridges last summer, meeting Jenna when I got here is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
She was basically the first person I spoke to when my mum dropped me off.
We both had the same Eras tour jumper on, which was obviously basis enough for a lifelong friendship on its own, but then we went to the union, got absolutely hammered, and that was it.
She’s never getting rid of me now. And yes, Jonathan Bailey is just as beautiful in real life.
He was buying moisturizer. I nearly died. ’
I think of my own Eras tour sweatshirt, neatly folded in a drawer in my room at home. Why did I leave it behind? Because I convinced myself the cool kids at Hemden would consider it cringe. A twinge of anxiety tugs the corners of my mouth downwards.
‘And we’ve made it.’
Alice releases my arm and gestures to a building absolutely swarming with students, dead ahead.
‘The student union motherhouse, more commonly known as Members,’ she says. ‘As in you have to be a member of the student union to get in, so no need to worry, what happens in Members, stays in Members.’
Why does that sound so ominous?
‘It’s like a social club?’
‘You could say that. It’s a bar. A heavily, heavily subsidized bar. And if you’re ever looking for someone, anyone, there’s at least a fifty per cent chance you’ll find them here.’
It doesn’t look like any kind of bar I’ve seen in South Carolina. Built from the same yellow stone as the other campus buildings but less worn with age and more added charm. Like maybe it’s only a couple of centuries old rather than a whole millennium.
But it’s still a bar.
‘You all right?’ Alice asks. ‘You’ve gone very pale.’
‘I’m fine,’ I reply quickly. ‘Totally fine.’
Back home, bars aren’t really my scene. Valley Springs is too small of a town to get away with underage drinking, everyone knows everyone, and if I came home even slightly buzzed, I doubt I’d see daylight again until I was sixty-five.
But this is hardly some dark hole, full of all-day drunks and rickety cigarette machines.
It’s the student union, it’s part of the university, and clearly a very essential part of student life.
Paying a visit, even if it’s just this once, is practically part of orientation.
Also, I don’t need to tell my parents about it.
As we approach, I notice the windows are leaded, panes of glass separated into dozens of black-edged diamonds, conveniently too small to reveal whatever might be happening inside.
But there’s music, a thudding bass at odds with the elegant exterior, and underneath the music, I can hear laughter.
The people inside are happy. I want to be the people inside.
Alice tilts her head to one side and smiles.
‘Come on, first round’s on me.’
She beckons me onwards into the darkness and after only a second of hesitation, I follow her inside.
This place is packed and the vibe is electric.
I find Alice’s hand as she leads me through the sea of people who have already filled the dance floor, some moving to the beat, others leaning into their friends, lips against ears, to be heard over the music.
Everyone is high on first night fever and even though it’s cool outside, the air inside Members is hot and humid, bodies pressed close to willing bodies.
The subdued lighting turns the room into a liminal space, existing outside the regular rules of time, like it could be anywhere between four p.m. and three a.m..
My world is beginning to feel soft at the edges, slightly dreamy.
Jet lag, sweat and the overall overwhelm of the scene in front of me pushes me backwards through the looking glass.
‘There they are!’