Chapter 51
Mia
‘Look at that, you’re a natural.’
Del quietly claps and cheers as I stamp the return date in my first book and hand it to the waiting history student, who, disappointingly, doesn’t have any sense of occasion.
‘I can’t believe you still use stamps,’ I tell him, checking the computer scan went through as well, just in case.
‘You have to, the Hemden network is about as reliable as a Ben Affleck marriage.’ He picks up one of the venti pumpkin spice lattes I brought from The Snug and raises it in a toast. ‘To Mia, my brand-new assistant library clerk.’
I lift mine in return.
‘I’m just glad you still had an opening,’ I say after a sip. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s delicious. ‘This is a lot more chill than suffering behind the bar in Members.’
‘Are you kidding? It’s Friday! You just wait until happy hour,’ he warns me before loading up his cart with returned textbooks. ‘Professor Orenson’s philosophy lecture finishes soon and there’ll be a mad rush. Those students know how to go off.’
I raise an eyebrow.
‘Once, in 2021, I had to ask them to go outside if they wanted to watch the video of the ten-minute version of All Too Well.’ He presses a hand against his heart. ‘And it killed me to do it.’
‘I’ll keep my guard up and hope there are no surprise drops in the next five minutes.’
We exchange salutes as Del pushes the cart into the stacks, whistling softly to himself.
It really is quiet in here. Eleven a.m. on a Friday morning, and now Del is gone I’m the only person on the desk of the Hazelwood Library.
I hate myself for not applying for this job in the first place, but like Billie said, blaming myself for past decisions isn’t going to help me make better ones in the future.
Easier said than done but it’s something I have to keep reminding myself.
Like every time I enter or leave my room and risk running into Ethan.
But I haven’t seen him, not since Tuesday on the soccer field.
According to Michael, he’s staying with Assad.
It’s for the best. I have nothing to say to him. I’m positive it’s for the best.
I bite my lip when a rush of grief rolls towards me, gripping the back of a rolling chair until it passes.
It’s crazy how much I miss something I never really had.
Billie agreed it was a good idea to take some time, get my thoughts in order before I try to speak to him, but after three whole days, it’s starting to feel like too much time.
At least I can stop worrying about my Bleak House essay, I remind myself.
It was agony, sitting through my nine a.m. seminar, waiting for Quinn to hand out our graded papers but I survived, somehow and no one on this planet has ever been so happy to see a 64.
It doesn’t fix my overall average but the 72 I got on my first renaissance drama paper will help and I’m confident about the history of English test next week.
I’m almost excited to get started on the Hard Times paper Dr Quinn assigned today, ready to rise to the challenge. Almost like my old self again.
Voices echo off the elegant dome above me and I find a smile for the two students walking in.
‘Hey. Mia, isn’t it?’
The blonde from Texas I met at the welcome meeting holds up a hand in a hello.
‘Right. Riley?’
She nods. ‘And this is Kennedy.’
‘I saw you play with my friend Bryn a couple weeks ago,’ I tell the dark-haired violinist. ‘You were great.’
‘Lol, playing with Bryn,’ Riley snickers. ‘I’ve been telling her that’s exactly what she should do.’
‘You work here?’ Kennedy asks, jabbing her friend in the arm.
‘As of today.’ I hold out my hands, a little ta-da moment. ‘Can I help you with anything? Keeping in mind the length of my employment.’
‘Nah, we got it,’ Riley replies. ‘I thought you worked at the student bar?’
‘Used to. It didn’t work out.’
I take a deep breath in, waiting for them to start laughing but they don’t.
‘I get it. That place is cray-zee,’ Riley says with an eye roll. ‘Hanging out in a library has to beat bar work hands down.’
‘So far one hundred per cent fewer drunk dudes trying to look down my shirt,’ I agree. ‘But like I said, I only just started.’
‘We kept meaning to say hi, but you were always so busy,’ Kennedy says. ‘I’m planning a US student meet-up thing next week, if you want to come?’
‘I would love that!’ The breath I’ve been holding in bursts out happily. Until I remember another US student who might be there too. ‘If I can make it, I mean. I’ll have to check my calendar. Things are hectic with this new job and class and all.’
Riley elbows her friend with a teasing smile. ‘Told you she was too cool for us.’
Me? Too cool? I don’t even know how to reply.
‘We’ll put a note in your cubby,’ Kennedy says, as she writes both their names on the library sign-in sheet. ‘Come if you can. Very low-key, no pressure but I did get the tiniest budget from the student union so there will be snacks.’
‘Then I will do my best,’ I reply solemnly. ‘Thanks for the invitation.’
I can’t avoid him forever, and what am I going to do, pass up new friends and snacks? I’m not a sociopath.
‘Sure there’s nothing library-related I can help with?’
‘Unless you can fix Riley’s love life, we’re good.’ Kennedy sniggers and the Texan returns her punch in the arm, only this one has more juice behind it.
‘Watch out!’ She grabs her bicep and whines. ‘This arm is a precious appendage.’
Riley squints with faux outrage. ‘I’ll give you a precious appendage.’
‘I’m definitely not the one to help with romantic problems,’ I assure them as the pair continue to poke at each other like a couple of kids. ‘Or appendages, precious or otherwise.’
‘Oh really?’ Kennedy pulls a notebook from her book bag and thrusts it at me. ‘Sounds to me like we need to get a drink after the social, girl. I know it’s borderline pointless but gimme your number. Address too.’
I scribble it out obediently, adding my last name and room and floor number at Carpenter. ‘For the invitation,’ I say. ‘Y’all are in halls?’
‘Walsh, third floor,’ Kenney replies. ‘Riley’s downstairs on the first.’
‘Hate to break this up but I only have a half hour before my tutorial, and I have a million books to pick up.’ Riley produces a slip of paper from the pocket of her sweatpants and frowns. ‘Philosophy waits for no man.’
‘That’s like, very deep,’ Kennedy deadpans. ‘Catch you later, Mia.’
‘See y’all later,’ I reply, waving them off into the stacks.
The peace of the library surrounds me and I let it.
With no one around, I close my eyes and let the hush fill in all the blank spaces in my mind.
It’s the first time in a long time, I’ve been alone with my thoughts and for once, it isn’t a frightening prospect.
Filled with a quiet calm, I go back to scanning in the stack of returned books Del left for me to process as the library doors open and a stream of students pour in. Dr Orenson’s lecture must be out.
‘Hi, excuse me?’
A guy with pink hair and thick black-rimmed glasses sidles up to the desk, clutching a leather book bag. ‘I’m looking for a copy of A History of Women Philosophers by Mary Ellen Waithe. Can you help me?’
‘Yes,’ I reply, tapping at the computer keyboard with a smile. ‘I think I can.’