Chapter 56
Mia
‘Give them time to shower,’ Jenna says, placing a hand on my wrist. ‘And whatever else it is they do in there. Dance, sing, conduct satanic rituals.’
‘I assume they’re all eye fucking each other in the showers,’ Alice replies. ‘But then I read a lot of smut.’
‘Maybe I’ll go and get another drink,’ Bryn mutters. ‘I think sometimes you forget I’m not one of the girls.’
‘Oh no,’ Jenna replies brightly. ‘We didn’t forget.’
But it’s not just Ethan I’m looking for. Every time the door opens, I look over, scanning the students to see if he’ll show.
‘Don’t worry, Oliver won’t show his face, Jenna had a polite word,’ Alice says, when a different guy in a black leather jacket strolls in and I almost fly out of my seat.
‘Polite?’ I echo, extremely doubtful.
‘When am I ever anything but?’ Jenna replies. ‘I sent a very sweet text to let him know where he stands with us. He won’t be bothering you again. Blonds are always evil, we should’ve known.’
They don’t have all the details, only an abbreviated version of the story, but it was enough for Jenna to swear a blood oath against him and for Alice to make a note to pick up the supplies for a guitar-wielding voodoo doll next time she’s in town.
Mrs Taylor left right after the game, thrilled to be there for her son but just as keen to check into her hotel and change as soon as it was done.
She definitely doesn’t seem like the student bar type.
When I put her in an Uber, she made me promise I’d join her and Ethan for dinner.
I said yes but I reckon they’re going to need some time to themselves.
She might not have said much during the game but it was impossible to not notice all the quiet tears that streaked down her face.
Seems to me they have a lot to talk about.
Michael and Ethan are taking too long. Shower, change, celebrate, that’s the official order of things, right?
It’s been over an hour since the end of the game and the crowd in the bar is getting antsy but not nearly as antsy as me.
What if he ran into Oliver? What if they got into a fight?
What if … no. No catastrophizing. Not that Ethan and his teammates beating Oliver to a pulp would truly count as a catastrophe.
A roar goes up when the front door opens and we all shoot up to our feet, Jenna scrambling up onto the leather banquette for a better view.
‘It’s the team but I don’t see Ethan.’ She pushes up onto her toes, steadying herself with one hand on top of Alice’s head. ‘Or Michael.’
‘That’s because we came in through the back.’
Jenna screams when Michael appears in front of her, losing her balance and falling into his arms.
‘That kind of catch is why Harchester United want this guy at their academy.’
Ethan and Assad are by his side and my mouth goes dry at the sight of Ethan Taylor, damp hair, green eyes and a smile I will never get tired of as long as I live.
‘You got the academy spot?’ Jenna shrieks as Michael releases her back into the booth. ‘Are you fucking serious?’
‘Be a weird thing to lie about.’
He shrugs like he doesn’t care but he’s grinning when she grabs hold of his face and peppers it with kisses. Alice nudges me under the table, and I bite my lip, pretending I didn’t see.
‘And technically incorrect,’ he adds. ‘I got an academy spot. Isn’t that right, co-captains?’
Assad and Ethan exchange a cocky look and Jenna pummels Michael in the arm
‘All three of you? Fuck yes, Hemden!’
‘Fuck yes, Hemden!’
Everyone raises their drinks and a cheer that starts at our table spreads around the room like wildfire. The music gets loud, the lights turn low and all at once, Members is alive.
‘Hey.’ Ethan places a hand on my shoulder and I melt. ‘Can we talk?’
With a nod, I slide out of the booth, following him across the dance floor and out of the back door.
He keeps going a short way and neither of us says anything, not until we reach one of the benches underneath a light post. Ethan sits down and I hover in front of him for a beat before doing the same.
Why am I suddenly so nervous? ‘Can we talk’ doesn’t match what he said right before the game.
Nothing good ever came from someone starting a sentence with ‘can we talk’.
‘Congratulations on the academy,’ I say, something to fill the silence. ‘I’m so happy for you.’
He looks proud and I think about the version of him I saw in the locker room only a couple of hours ago, the teary eyes, the slumping shoulders, all the blame he’s been carrying these last few months. He should be proud. I’m proud to know him.
‘Thanks.’ He leans forward, forearms on his thighs. ‘Sorry I took so long, we had to talk some stuff over with the scouts and I promised I’d call Chris as soon as the game was over. He’s psyched. Says he’s flying over to watch me play against the first team if I make the squad.’
‘When you make the squad.’
It’s cold out tonight. Not cool or crisp but truly cold.
The weather hasn’t recovered after a week of rain and Ethan notices I’m shivering before I do.
He takes off his jacket, the same blue one I borrowed before, and drapes it around me.
It smells the same, just like his pillows, just like his T-shirt.
It smells like him. I close my eyes and breathe it in, waiting for him to speak, more nervous than I can even admit to myself.
‘Mia, I know things can’t go back the way they were,’ he says finally, gooseflesh prickling his bare arms. ‘And I’m sorry.’
He’s sorry? He’s sorry. The nervous jitters in my stomach plummet through the floor, taking all my internal organs with them.
‘Don’t be.’
I pull his jacket close to my body. The night is still and quiet, the music from Members muffled, and I don’t know how to feel.
He’s sorry.
‘When I got here, all I wanted to do was pretend the accident never happened.’ Ethan’s hand inches along the bench until his little finger is touching my thigh, just barely, so light I shouldn’t be able to feel it through my jeans but I can. I could feel him through a brick wall, I know it.
‘I convinced myself if I pushed it down, I could forget all about it and be regular old Ethan, same guy I was before it all went wrong. It worked for a while, but the truth is, I don’t want to be that guy anymore.
I like the person I am now more than I liked the person I was at Marshall.
I like doing well in my classes, I like this team, I like all the people I’ve met here. Almost all the people.’
His body shifts, angling more towards me.
‘Most importantly, I like who I am when I’m with you.’
Inside the warm cocoon of his jacket, something I’d been holding back blossoms.
‘I didn’t know this version of me existed,’ Ethan adds. ‘I thought my life was over when I took the blame for the accident but now I can’t help but think maybe I had to lose everything I thought I wanted to find out what I really need. And that’s you.’
A couple walks by the bench, a small smile, an almost nod, and I wait until they’re gone before I speak.
‘I was so miserable back at Marshall. Before Marshall,’ I say and my breath appears in front of me as I speak, a pale puff of white.
‘I thought the only way I could ever be happy was to become someone new and when I got accepted into Hemden, that was my chance. I tried so hard to become the version of myself I’d dreamed about.
Threw myself into the job at Members, spent more time with my friends than at the library.
Avoided you like the plague.’ I laugh but he doesn’t.
His hand doesn’t move though. ‘And even though I’d been working on this plan for years, it fell apart within weeks.
My grades slipped, I hated working in the bar and, I don’t know, maybe I made some bad romantic choices—’
That gets an under the breath scoff and I allow it.
‘All because I was trying to be someone I’m not.’
My hand slips out from the sleeve of his jacket, silver bracelet glinting in the lamplight and the slightest suggestion of a scar slicing along my palm from the night I broke all the bottles in Members.
‘And maybe I would’ve carried on trying if not for the strangest thing of all.’
‘What was that?’
I place my hand over his.
‘You.’
One corner of his mouth pulls upwards.
‘You’re calling me strange?’
‘Complimentary,’ I insist. ‘I cast you as the villain because I assumed you thought I was a loser, just like everyone else at Marshall. Now I can see how sometimes we blame the wrong people for the bad things we believe about ourselves.’
‘I never thought you were a loser,’ Ethan replies. ‘Mean, yes but a loser? Not even.’
‘And you weren’t who I thought you were at all,’ I tell him. ‘The more time we spent together, the more obvious that became. But if I admitted I was wrong about you, I had to admit I was wrong about other things, myself included. That’s never easy.’
‘You never needed to change, Mia, you just needed to see the truth about yourself.’ Ethan turns his hand over so that our palms touch, his much warmer than mine even though I’m wearing his jacket and he’s the one with bare arms. ‘I wish I’d known you before.
I think I would’ve been happier. I think we both would. ’
‘Can you believe we had to travel four thousand miles to figure this out?’ I say as his fingers lace through mine and hold on to my hand so tightly, like he’ll never let go. ‘Everything I ever wanted was right there in front of me the whole time.’
‘And everything I ever needed.’
He brushes my hair back from my face and now I’m trembling, struggling to get my words out but desperate to say them at the same time.
‘This has never happened to me before so I’m not one hundred per cent sure but I have read a lot of books on the subject,’ I whisper, marvelling at him, this brave, selfless, insanely beautiful man in front of me. ‘I think I might be falling in love with you.’
‘That’s funny,’ he replies, green eyes dancing. ‘I might not have read nearly as many books as you but I have seen a lot of movies, and I’m pretty certain. I am so in love with you.’
We draw in closer, both of us moving perfectly in sync, and I close my eyes as his lips meet mine. I feel everything I ever wanted to feel, safe, secure, seen. I feel loved.
I’ve been waiting my whole life for this exact moment and now I’m finally here, right where I belong.
This is where I was always meant to be.
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