CHAPTER TWO
It was safe to say, this was not exactly how Benny thought this day was going to go.
His plan was to go to the ceremony. Witness Bethany getting married.
Leave. Then celebrate his newfound closure with alcohol.
That obviously didn’t happen. And his ex, standing before him in nothing but his shirt and boxers clearly wasn’t closure.
It was the exact fucking opposite of that shit.
“Did you hear me?” Bethany impatiently called out. Her arms crossing over her chest as angry jade eyes narrowed on him. “I’m not staying with you, Benny. Just give me some sweats and drop me off at the Evans ranch.”
That wasn’t happening. He knew Bethany. Better than anyone. Right now, she needed quiet. Time to clear her head. Make a plan. As nice as the Evans ranch was, it was a small fricking town, and he’d give it an hour before her parents and a disgruntled ex-fiancé would be knocking down her door.
Unfortunately, he also knew how stubborn she was.
“You really wanna do this, B? Spend the next hour making a pros and cons list?” The daggers she was giving him momentarily faltered.
That was enough for him to know her stubborn was penetrable.
So, he continued. “‘Cause, I’ll do it if I have to. I’ll tell you all the reasons staying at the Evans ranch isn’t really what you want or need.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired as hell, and I’d rather just skip to the part where you give me the address. ”
All right, so he wasn’t tired, per se. But the head fuck that was Bethany Mayer was definitely making it hard to think clearly. Especially standing there in his kitchen looking like a goddamn wet dream.
It might have been almost a decade since they’d last seen each other but his body remembered her all too well. And it was begging him to do something about the fire shooting through his veins.
That wasn’t going to happen. He’d sooner let his body burn than risk his heart shattering again. He’d been picking up the pieces ever since Bethany walked away ten years ago, and he wasn’t about to start over.
“And you’re such an expert on my wants and needs, right Benny?”
Don’t even think about it.
Benny ignored the warning, his body humming in response, vividly recalling every dirty little thing his ex-girlfriend liked.
Stop.
“Wipe that look off your face!” she scolded, mortified. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”
He felt his lips twitch as he fought back a smile. “I don’t get to do what anymore?” he asked, happily pushing his luck.
Bethany stomped her foot while her bright eyes flashed. “You know what!”
The pink tinging her cheeks told a very different story to the scowl she was trying to muster. And was enough to propel him forward, back in her space, his fingers instinctively going to her hair again, this time to tuck a loose wave behind her ear.
“Looks like I’m not the only one taking a trip down memory lane, NeNe,” he muttered, letting the pad of his thumb slowly glide across her heated cheek.
“One of the perks of being someone’s ex is that no matter what happens—the shit I got stored up here—is mine.
” He made a point of tapping his index finger to his head. “All fucking mine.”
Pink turned to red as Bethany’s breathing hitched. It was safe to say, she hadn’t forgotten any more than he had. Should he be concerned at how pleased that made him?
Um. Yes!
Bethany took a whole step back. Then another. And then one more. Giving her time to rearrange her facial expression from hot and heavy to cold and indifferent.
Before she put him in his place though, his phone pinged, bringing both their attention to the device he began sliding out of his pocket. Swiping on his friend Hunter’s name, relief flooded him as he read the message.
Thank God for that.
He really didn’t have the emotional energy to fight.
He wasn’t in much of a fit state for anything if he was being honest. Even after the first cigarette he’d smoked in years at the church and an overly generous pour of whiskey once he got home, his heart was still pounding like it was trying to break free.
“Hunter and Rachel will be over in a little while with your stuff,” he rasped. “They got the address from Mrs. Molly and are heading over there now.”
He watched on as confusion, anger, annoyance, and then some more anger washed over her delicate features. Bringing back even more memories.
He bit back a smirk as a frustrated growl echoed around the small kitchen.
“Unbelievable,” she huffed as she spun around and went straight to his fridge. “Fuck my fucking life,” she went on as she pulled out not one, not two, but three cans of his beer before swaying her perfect ass out of there.
“By all means, help yourself, B,” he shouted after her.
Resting a hip against the kitchen island, he smiled.
A huge grin that was bigger than it should be.
He’d allow it for now. Treat himself to five minutes of happy.
There was plenty of time to panic. Question what the fuck he’d just done.
And then worry about the ache in his chest and the knots in his stomach.
***
“You sure you know what you’re doing?”
Hunter’s question wasn’t surprising. Especially since Benny didn’t, in fact, know what the fuck he was doing. Something he suspected his friend was well aware of as he passed him another suitcase.
Not ready to admit that yet though, Benny changed the subject. “Jesus, man. You got her fucking couch in there, too? Why’d you bring so much stuff?”
“Three suitcases is not a lot of stuff, sugar,” Rachel chirped, rejoining them on the porch.
“Right.” His fiery-haired friend aimed her finger at him, demanding his attention.
“I put the lasagna in the fridge, a few ready meals in the freezer, and the muffins on the counter. Oh, and there’s a double chocolate and peanut butter sponge in the tin next to the microwave. ”
Benny’s gaze went from Rachel to Hunter and then back to Rachel. “Am I missing something ...what’s with all the food? Did someone die?”
Hunter remained silent but when Benny looked back, he didn’t miss the goofy grin the six- foot-five hulk had pasted across his face, which only got bigger as his wife began to speak.
“Yes. Love died, Benny. It died a horrible death.” He stood silent as she planted her hands on her hips. “And that poor girl in there is gonna need pasta and chocolate, so you make sure you look after her.”
Benny loved Rachel, but she was dramatic as hell.
“You know that that poor girl, is the one who left some dude at the altar, right?”
If anything, Doug was the one who could do with some carbs and sugar. He kept that particular thought to himself, though. Rachel may be small, but she was also pretty scary when she wanted to be. He knew better than to anger her.
Proving his point, Rachel gave him an incredulous look.
“She was going to marry that man, Benny. What’s wrong with you?
” Me? “She must be absolutely heartbroken. A break-up is a break-up, no matter who left who. You just be nice.” Another finger was jabbed in his face.
“And give her the cake. Libby, Bella, Cat and I are all here if she needs to talk to someone who doesn’t have the emotional intelligence of a twelve-year-old. ”
Hunter guffawed as Benny shot him a dirty look.
Libby was married to Zach, while Bella was Luke’s girlfriend. Zach, Luke and Hunter all worked together as firefighters for the Woodvalley Fire Department. And Cat was married to Cody, the local police deputy. They’d all been friends for years and now the women were part of that friend group, too.
“Uh. Hey.” Benny, Rachel and Hunter’s attention all went to the coy voice behind them.
Bethany. She was still in his fire department shirt, and boxers.
Looking like a goddamn goddess as her fingers drifted over the suitcase Benny was still holding.
“Wow. I can’t believe Doug let you take all this stuff. ”
Rachel was the one to reply, unsurprisingly. “He’s...he asked me to give you this.” A note was pulled from his friend’s jean pocket and handed to Bethany. “I’m Rachel, by the way.”
Benny’s eyes stayed glued to the note. He hated that he wanted to know what it said. Really badly. He wanted to know if Bethany would read it. And if she did, would the words in there make her change her mind. Would she take her three suitcases and go back to this Doug guy? Leaving Benny. Again.
What the fucking, fuck?
His inner voice wasn’t exactly thrilled with the choices he’d been making today. Now it was pissed with his thought process, too.
Perfect.
He faintly heard Bethany introduce herself and thank Rachel and Hunter for collecting her things as she twiddled the folded piece of paper between her fingers.
But it was only when he heard her say, “I feel so bad, but I can’t.
I’m not ready,” that his eyes went to her face.
Her usual light dulling as her gaze hit the ground.
His hand instinctively shot out and curled around Bethany’s waist as he pulled her into him.
“Hey,” he waited until her head lifted, and shimmering eyes locked onto his before continuing.
“It’s gonna be okay. You did the right thing, B.
” He ignored the feeling of his friend’s eyes burning into the back of his head.
“I don’t know about Doug, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to marry someone who was having second thoughts on the wedding day.
You both deserve more. You deserve to know, NeNe, that you’re marrying your soulmate.
” As her gaze softened, he had to take a second to gulp. “Forever should mean forever.”
He noticed Bethany swallow just as hard as she released herself from his hold.
But when she opened her plump lips to say something, she was quick to slam them shut before anything had the chance to come out.
Leaving Benny’s mind to race as she offered him nothing more than a single nod before practically running back inside the house.
Letting a sigh slip, he turned back to his friends, both of whom had stupid smiles on their faces.
“What?” he asked impatiently.
Hunter simply shook his head, his large smirk openly mocking Benny.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Rachel oddly replied.
Benny repeated his question and was met with more words that didn’t make any sense.
“Wait until I tell the girls.” Rachel giggled.
Tell the girls what?
More sighing ensued as Benny came to the decision that he’d rather not know. Today had already been way more than he’d bargained for and it was nowhere near over.
After saying his goodbyes and thanking his friends for their help, he headed upstairs in search of Bethany. He was under strict instructions to make sure she knew there was pasta and chocolate waiting for her.
She’d gone straight to his bedroom again.
Was it weird that was where she was most comfortable?
Not the living room. The kitchen. Or the guest bedroom.
His room. Yes, it made sense to change her clothes in there earlier so she could raid his wardrobe, but she’d gone back.
First with three of his beers after their exchange in the kitchen, and now after hightailing it off the porch.
One knock on the door and he was allowed entry, but he wasn’t quite prepared for what he found when he took a step inside. Bethany on his bed. Wearing his clothes. Wrapped up in his sheets. Silky dark waves splayed over his pillow.
Fuck me.
His throat tightened. It had been a long damn time since he’d been treated to this particular sight.
“I, I, uh,” Jesus, he was pathetic. “There’s food. Rachel brought food.”
Bethany’s head came up and he didn’t miss her red rimmed eyes.
She’d been crying. Damnit. Every instinct he had screamed at him to go to her.
Pull her into his arms. Tell her everything was going to be okay.
But he couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself.
So, he stayed rooted to his spot by the doorframe, willing his body to calm the hell down and his head to clear.
It’s not working.
It wasn’t. Not when she began to chew on her lips. Her chest heaving as she looked at him with soft hooded eyes. It was taking all the willpower he had to not march over there and replace her teeth with his mouth.
What the hell is wrong with you?
He had no fucking idea. It didn’t matter that she was his ex, that he hadn’t seen her since she was nineteen. The fact that just a few hours ago, she’d been moments away from marrying someone else should have been enough to snap him out of it.
“Thank you,” her voice was uncharacteristically quiet.
“Rachel made it—”
“No,” she cut him off. “Thank you, Benny.” He must have looked confused because she decided to elaborate. “For everything. The lift. A place to stay. Getting my stuff. I appreciate it.”
He didn’t know what to say. Sassy, fiery Bethany he could handle. But sweet, vulnerable Bethany, her voice trembling, her eyes sad—there was no way he stood a chance.
Get the hell out of there.
Lucky for him, the next words she spoke gave him an out. “I think I’m just gonna stay up here with my beer if that’s okay?”
Still clearly unable to string a sentence together, he decided to give her a nod before quickly backing out of the room.
Coward!
There was no point in denying it. When it came to Bethany Mayer, there was no denying it. He was the coward of all cowards.