CHAPTER SIX
Being ghosted sucked.
It’s not like Benny was asking for much. After their kiss, he’d wrangled Bethany’s phone number from a reluctant Mrs. Molly. He’d then proceeded to message her that they needed to talk. Because they did. When that message went unanswered, he tried again, texting her the following night.
Benny: B, we need to talk about what happened. Meet me for a coffee this week? I’ll buy.
Nothing. Radio silence. So, he tried again the next night.
Benny: You know, it’s a small town, we’re gonna bump into each other sooner or later, I’d rather things weren’t awkward between us. I’m on shift for the next few days but I’ll be done around 8 if you fancy grabbing a drink?
And the next.
Benny: I’m starting to feel like a stalker, B, can you please just reply, even if it’s to tell me to fuck off?
Even after all those messages and no reply, he was still checking his phone. Constantly. And wondering whether to text her again tonight. He’d officially reached peak pathetic.
Welcome home.
He hated how easy it had been to slip back into the pull of Bethany Mayer. She had some sort of sexy magical power over him. Even after all this time. He still wanted her. Still craved her. And he had no idea what he was supposed to do about it.
“You okay, sweetie?” His mom’s hand went to his arm. “You seem rather angry with the lemon drizzle, or is it the apple tart that’s done you wrong?”
A smile tugged at his lips as he lifted his gaze from the snack table to his mother. She held out a mug filled to the brim with milky coffee—just the way he liked it.
“Rough day at work?” she asked as he accepted the cup.
“I’m fine, Ma.” He wasn’t up for talking about Bethany. Not tonight. There would be enough emotions making an appearance as it was. Besides, this was his mother’s night. “Come on, it’s about to start.”
Placing a hand on his mom’s back, he led her over to the circle of wooden chairs. Al always made sure there was enough space for the circle, his antique collection lining the walls and corners of the store instead of taking up room in the middle.
Benny thought back to a few years ago, before Al’s Antiques had begun hosting these weekly meetups, you’d have to travel two towns over to get anything like it.
As they took their seats, and waited for the meeting to start, Benny sipped on his coffee. Regretting one particular gulp as the shop door flew open. The woman doing the flinging stumbled in her heels, which meant she was hopping inside the entrance as she hollered, “Sorry, sorry. Sorry, I’m late.”
Bethany frigging Mayer.
It was his only thought as coffee spray filled his vision.
What the hell is she doing here?
It was a good question. One he had an answer to sooner than he thought as Catherine, the leader of the session, quickly stood to introduce Bethany. A physician from Goldacre, here to answer any medical questions the group may have.
Fuck.
Time stood still as their gazes locked. Neither of them saying a word as they continued to stare into each other.
She was shocked to see him, and she didn’t hide it.
He kept his eyes on her, not caring the whole room was taking in the show.
They were already the talk of the town, why not pour some more gasoline on the fire.
Benny had no idea how long the inappropriate eye contact went on for, but when fake coughs became too loud to ignore, he figured it had been a while.
“What are you doing here?” Bethany finally asked, in front of everyone. “Are you...did you...”
“Have cancer?” He took pity on her as she started to get flustered. “No.”
Benny felt his mom’s hand on his arm at the same time as Bethany’s eyes flicked to it. And then back to him.
“Y-your mom...Mrs. Tucker, shit, I mean Gloria, you...shit.” Apparently, the fact they had an audience still hadn’t sunk in. “When? How? Why didn’t you—”
Benny stood, he needed to end this if not for his mom, for him. He wasn’t ready to talk about this. Not with her. Not now.
“B, let’s...” He gestured to the front door. “Outside?”
That’s when it clicked. Frantic forest eyes went around the room as a pink flush crept up her neck. She nodded at the realization and muttered, “sorry” a few more times as she headed straight for the exit. Benny following closely behind her.
“What type?” She didn’t even wait for him to reach her on the cobbles before she whipped around, looking determined.
“Breast.”
“It’s gone?”
“It’s gone,” he confirmed.
“But it came back?”
Wait. How did she—
“It came back.” He swallowed hard. “A few years ago.”
Bethany frowned. “When?”
“When what?”
“When was she diagnosed, when did it come back? What was her treatment plan?”
Benny tilted his head back until he was gazing into the night sky, his patience was now relying solely on the sight of the blanket of stars above him.
He got it. He knew her well enough to know this was how she processed things.
She asked questions. Lots of them. She needed cold hard facts before she unleashed any sort of feelings.
But knowing that didn’t make this any easier.
Even as she called his name, prompting a reply, he focused on his breathing.
Deep breaths in and out. When he finally turned his attention back to Bethany, her doctor mask had slipped, and the woman he remembered was staring back at him.
Wide eyes glistening with concern, worry and sadness. It was enough to get him talking.
“Four years ago, it came back.” He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, but it was costing him. “Chemo, mastectomy and radiation.”
Bethany nodded. “And before...when was she originally diagnosed?”
As their eyes found each other again, a charged silence hung in the air.
She knows.
Thats what her eyes told him, anyway.
“Say it.” Her voice quivered.
Yep, she knows.
He still didn’t want to say it. Not out loud. Which made no sense. It was a lifetime ago. Ancient history. It shouldn’t matter.
But it does matter.
“Say it, Benny,” she repeated. This time moisture pooled in her eyes.
His voice caught before he’d even spoken, his throat so dry he felt the need to work it.
“Before you left.” There. He said it. “A few weeks before.”
He should be worried by how fast his heart was beating. How hard it was to swallow. How tense his muscles suddenly felt, like they were braced for impact. But all that faded into the background as he watched Bethany draw into herself.
I’m an asshole.
A single tear trickled down her cheek and he couldn’t stop himself. He went to her. Swiping the droplet with his thumb as his fingers went into her hair.
“Look at me, B,” he whispered. She didn’t. Couldn’t. “Please, NeNe.”
Her head began shaking, as she took a step back. Untangling herself from his hold.
“I have to go,” she announced, still not looking at him. Slowly backing further away. “Tell Catherine I’m sorry but I had to go, I’ll call her or something. I just have to...I have to—”
She didn’t finish, she simply fled. Leaving him numb. This was not how she was supposed to find out.
Like you even planned on telling her.
He hated to admit it, even to himself, but that was true. There was never any plan to tell her. Not then, not now. What was the point in dragging up the past? To relive what’s already happened? Inflict more pain? No. There was no point.
But now what?
It was out there. There was no taking it back.
With no immediate answers slapping him in the face, Benny sighed as he pushed open the glass door.
Reluctantly, he returned to the circle, all eyes not so subtly on him as he did so.
He didn’t pass on Bethany’s apologies to Catherine as he took his seat, nor did he address the group.
He was just going to try and get through the evening as best he could while the knot in his stomach continued to twist.
His mom didn’t share tonight, she listened. As did he. That didn’t stop the grief from forming, though. It never failed to find him as he heard all too familiar stories from the other members of the group. Easily triggering memories he’d sooner forget.
“Benny, sweetie?” His mom’s hand was back on his arm. “You, okay?”
Nope. Not one bit.
Not that he would share that. Instead, he faked composure. For his mom.
“I’m going to ask you something and you’re not allowed to get upset, okay?”
He already didn’t like where this was going.
“Okay,” he answered slowly.
“Okay.” She nodded. “I want you to speak to Bethany—”
Before she could continue, he cut her off with a, “Ma!” Not listening, she quickly waved him off.
“Let me finish, so impatient,” she tsked. “I want you to go talk to that girl and bring her back here for the next session.”
His mother didn’t know what she was asking. There was a strong possibility Bethany Mayer might never speak to him again, let alone be in the same room as him.
“A lot of us have questions, questions only a doctor can answer, and Bethany...well, you know as well as I do, she’ll be kind. Any news or advice she’ll give, she’ll give gently. And we need that here. A lot of us need that.”
Suddenly he felt sick. “Are you? Do you think...are you feeling...?”
The words he needed were getting stuck in his throat as his mother’s hand covered his.
“No, sweetie, I’m fine. I just know what it’s like to be scared again and need answers. Please speak to her, son. I really think she could help a lot of people.”
Benny frowned. How on earth was he going to convince Bethany to come back?
Never mind that, how the hell are you going to face her again?
Somehow, he had to make this right.