CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“You didn’t think to mention you didn’t love me—before our fucking wedding?”
Bethany flinched at Doug’s harsh words. When she’d agreed to meet him at Molly’s Diner, naively, she didn’t realize it would be so hard.
Unable to keep staring at the pain she was responsible for; her gaze dropped to the coffee she had yet to touch.
“I don’t know when it happened,” she confessed. “Between the wedding and the move, everything...I don’t know. I didn’t have a chance to breathe let alone think.”
“That’s seriously your excuse—you didn’t have time to tell me you stopped loving me?” Doug barked, making her flinch again, this time her eyes squeezed shut.
There was no excuse. No good explanation. She knew that. He did, too. She wished she could go back and do things differently; she really did.
“When did you start fucking him?” That had her eyes and mouth opening as her head snapped up. “Was it before or after we moved here?”
She felt her eyes bug out. “Nothing happened with Benny until after we broke up, Doug. I swear. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
A humorless laugh left his lips. “Right. ‘Cause you’re all about respect, aren’t you, Beth? It’s not like you’d spend our wedding night at your ex-boyfriend’s house, is it...oh wait!”
Asshole.
Bethany looked at the man before her. Really looked.
Back when they’d met, she thought he was handsome.
Sophisticated. And out of her league. He always dressed well, kept himself cleanly shaved, while his short brown hair maintained a neat and tidy style with weekly visits to the barber.
He was tall, in good shape and had all the charm you’d expect from a private wealth manager who regularly wooed new clients.
He was everything she thought she wanted.
But sitting before him now, she wondered if she ever really knew him.
Let alone loved him. She certainly hadn’t seen this side of him before.
It made her wonder if all the feelings she had were even real.
Or was she just doing and saying what she thought she should be doing and saying.
She wasn’t about to tell him that though, she was already on her way to hell, she didn’t need an express ticket.
“Nothing happened that night,” she reiterated.
“So, when did it happen then?” His thick brow lifted in challenge.
Okay. So the truth wasn’t exactly going to make her look much better. Or feel it. But anything was better than the day of the wedding, right?
Yeah, tell Lucifer that when he’s warming up those pokers, sister.
“We kissed about a week after the wedding. Just kissed.” Her eyes went back to the brown liquid below her.
Another sharp, not very funny laugh escaped Doug. “You’re a piece of work, Beth. I guess I should be happy I didn’t fucking marry you.”
I mean, I am.
Shush. Hell, remember!
She felt bad. Guilty. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t also relieved. Happy even, that they were over. This was over.
“I just wished I’d worked out what a whore you were before I moved to this backward-ass town of yours, it could have saved me a fuck-load of time and money.” Doug was pushing up from his seat and throwing his napkin on the steel tabletop a moment later.
Don’t.
She should let him leave. Let it go. She’d already humiliated him. And she was going to leave it, she really was. But then he went and said, “Oh, and just so you know, I lied—yes you have put on weight. And no, it’s not fucking sexy.”
Oh, no he didn’t.
“Yeah?” It was her turn to rise from her chair. Her voice louder than it should be as she pointed her finger his way. “Well, I lied, too. Size does matter, asshole! Especially when you have no idea what to do with it!”
It was petty. She was petty. But he fucking started it.
“Whore!” he yelled.
“Dick!” she called back. “Or should that be microdick?”
He was in her face a second later. Her heart going a mile a minute as she got a glimpse of the hate filling his eyes.
“Fuck you, Beth. You’re a shit lay. And once your ex is done pity-fucking you, you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone. Regretting letting go of the only man who was able to stand you.”
Yeah. He hated her alright. She didn’t even have a comeback for that. Not when he’d stolen all the oxygen from her lungs with that slap in the face.
“Get out!” Bethany’s eyes went to Lucy, who was somehow in Doug’s face now. “Take your dumb face and get out of this diner before this pie and I choose violence.”
Doug was storming out before she’d even had a chance to catch her breath. She faintly heard him cursing while other diners applauded his exit as she slumped back into her chair. Her elbows hitting the table as her head fell into her hands.
Well, that was humiliating.
This was not how today was supposed to go. It was supposed to be civilized. It was supposed to be a conversation. Not a shouting match. Not a fight. And when did her best friend grow such big balls? She’d never so much as heard Lucy raise her voice above a normal level before.
“You, okay?” Lucy asked.
“No.” Bethany sighed; her face still buried. “Is everyone looking at me?”
“Um, do you want the truth, or do you want me to lie?”
That pulled out one of her own humorless laughs. “Lie.”
“Ah, okay, then. Denial it is. In that case, no one is looking. No one heard any of that. And Betty definitely did not take a picture to include in the town blog.”
Bethany let out a pained groan. “Fuck my fucking life.”
It just kept getting better and better.
“You look pretty today, though,” Lucy went on. “You’re having a good hair day.”
Bethany uncovered her face and gave her friend a sad smile. “Is that another lie?”
Lucy shook her head. “No. And don’t listen to a word that jerk nugget said. You’re beautiful and kind and smart and anyone would be lucky to be with you.”
“Jerk nugget?” Her smile got bigger.
Lucy shrugged, white teeth peeking out as her smile widened. “Just calling it like I see it. Come on, I’ll buy you some pie.”
Thank God for good friends. And pie.
***
Bethany was relieved to be among friendly faces. Yesterday was brutal. So much so, she’d blown Benny off and gone back to Lucy’s to lick her wounds and devour a tub of ice cream, two packs of Cheetos and a frozen pizza.
But today was a new day. And she was determined to enjoy it. It’s why she’d said yes to a barbecue with Benny’s friends. She was also feeling especially proud that she’d managed to convince Lucy to come, claiming emotional support needs.
They were currently in Zach and Libby’s yard. Sipping on cold beers and stuffing their faces with burgers.
Benny was looking all manly in his fire department tee and jeans, flipping burgers on the grill while Bethany and Lucy were stuffing their faces, off to the side.
“Yes!” Cat shouted, bringing their attention to the dark-haired woman now waving her phone as she sauntered toward Libby. “Jack’s flying over to meet little bean. And he’s going to stay a while—help out. Booked time off and everything!”
“Who’s Jack?” Bethany discreetly whispered to Lucy.
“Cat’s brother.” Her friend gulped. Loud enough to have Bethany sneaking a peek at her. Her usual pale skin taking on a pinker shade.
“Do we like Jack?”
“What?” Lucy snapped.
Hmm. Touchy subject.
“I’m just asking, do we like Jack? Do we know Jack? Is there a reason every time I mention Jack, that you seem to go a darker shade of red?”
“I hate you.” Lucy glared.
“You love me.” Bethany grinned. “And someone called Jack, apparently.”
That comment earned her a swat to the arm. Worth it. She was suddenly looking forward to meeting this Jack guy.
She didn’t get to interrogate Lucy any further because the next thing she knew, Benny’s arms were wrapping around her waist. And with one tug, her back was plastered against his hard chest. His lips ghosting down her neck as he murmured, “I missed you,” along her sensitive skin.
“You were gone five minutes,” she pointed out, slightly breathier than normal. “And you were like two yards away.”
Leaning into him, she embraced the goosebumps as he nipped at the spot under her ear. “What can I say? Even two yards is too far, baby.”
“Annnd...I’m getting another drink.” She could practically hear Lucy’s eyes roll before her friend disappeared back inside the house.
Benny and Bethany remained wrapped in each other for a while.
His nose and lips tracing the line along her neck as she breathed in fresh pine.
She felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
Sure, there were plenty of things she could overthink.
And a ridiculous number of recent decisions she should seek professional help for.
But self-flagellation wasn’t on today’s agenda.
Doug’s dressing down was enough punishment for this weekend.
She let a satisfied sigh escape as Benny trailed soft kisses across her shoulder. Damnit, she could get used to this.
“You ready to label this now, B?” Amusement laced his tone as more kisses peppered the skin between her tank top and neckline.
“Nope.” She smiled, popping the “p.”
He’d been asking every day since the last support group and her answer was always the same. Because of the sickos that they were, it had now become a running joke. And would remain one while she continued to bask in the comfort of denial.
“Hey, Bethany,” Libby greeted as she approached them. “You think I could steal you away from Benny for a minute?”
While Libby’s smile was friendly, Bethany could tell she was nervous as she twiddled with the long brown waves that she’d gathered over one shoulder.
“Yeah, of course.” Bethany untangled herself, and with a quick twist of her neck, she pecked Benny’s lips before following Libby inside.
The back door led them through the kitchen where Lucy and Rachel sat at the small wooden table, giggling between sips of beer. With a quick wave to her friend, she continued through the giant arch and into the living room where Libby gestured for her to sit.
“You and Benny seem happy,” she noted, exhaling softly as she joined her on the bouncy couch.
“Oh, God, is this another warning not to break his heart—‘cause you should know that Cat and Rachel already beat you to it.”
Libby’s sing-song laugh echoed around the room as her hand waved her off. “God, no! Not at all!”
Bethany could see it now. Her husband Zach always called her “princess.” And with those wide Disney-like eyes, long thick hair and hourglass figure, it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. She was also super sweet. Even now, as she looked at Bethany, unsure, and chewed on painted pink lips.
“I, uh, I actually wanted your professional opinion on something, if you don’t mind?”
Was it wrong that she was so relieved to hear that? Professional she could do. It was her default. And the idea of easing the nerves radiating off the woman before her was something she definitely wanted to do.
“Of course. Shoot.”
“So. Um. Zach and I have been trying to, you know, start a family.” Bethany simply nodded, urging her to continue.
“Well, we’ve been trying for a while now and it’s got to the point where I think it’s me.
I think there’s something wrong with me.
” Watery eyes flicked from her to the carpet.
“Zach got tested and all is good there, so it must be me, right?”
Bethany scooched nearer, her hand going to Libby’s arm. “That’s not necessarily true and even if it turns out to be the case, there’s usually different options or things you can do to help you to conceive. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?”
Libby gave her a gentle nod.
“Okay, do you mind me asking how long you’ve been trying and if you’re having regular menstrual cycles?”
“A year. And yes. I’ve always been regular.” She was back to chewing her lip.
“Any gynecological issues or previous pregnancies in the past?” Libby shook her head. “And any other health conditions or medication that you’re currently taking?” Another head shake.
Okay. This was good news.
“Have you been tracking your ovulation at all?”
“No, I mean, there’s not many days when we don’t, well, you know.” Bethany couldn’t help but let out a short laugh as she watched Libby turn an adorable shade of pink.
“Okay.” She cleared her throat, attempting to put on her best serious doctor face. “Well, I’m not super concerned.”
“You’re not?” There was that hope.
“No, Libby. Most people don’t realize that it can take couples up to two years to conceive naturally. So, before I recommend any sort of invasive fertility tests for you, I’d like you to try out a few things for me—how does that sound?”
“Like I love you and want to kiss you.” She excitedly bounced. Her contagious smile was enough to penetrate Bethany’s super serious doctor face.
“Well, hold on to that sentiment while I tell you to cut out the caffeine and alcohol for the next few months.” As expected, the woman’s face dropped.
“You need to make sure you’re eating well and getting enough sleep.
Stress levels also need to be managed accordingly, and you need to stay active—and yes, sex totally counts.
” The smile returned at that. “And I want you to track your ovulation every month. Your fertile window starts around five days before you ovulate so around this window try to have sex as often as possible to increase your chances. If we don’t see any results, we can review again in three months. Any questions?”
Instead of questions, Libby launched herself at her. Her arms flung around Bethany in a heartfelt hug. One she returned without thinking twice.
“Thank you,” she whispered into the crook of Bethany’s neck. “Thank you so much.”
This was why she loved her job. She wanted to help people. It made her so fucking happy. The woman in her arms a reminder of what exactly she came here to achieve and why. Woodvalley needed a doctor and goddamnit, she was going to give them one.