Javier
She’s shivering despite having the heater full blast. I’m sweating beneath my clothes and I’ve already pulled off my gloves. My coat’s the next thing to go.
“I should’ve made you change,” I grumble more to myself. There are a lot of things I should’ve had her done before snatching her up. Pack a bag, say her goodbyes, etcetera etcetera. Instead, I chose to be an ass and even threw her in some snow out of frustration.
Sammy doesn’t complain when I give her my coat, wrapping it around her body instead. Rather than looking fearful for her life, she’s been staring at me since we’ve been on the road. One long stare shouldn’t make my stomach shrink up with the worries of what’s going on in that pretty mind of hers.
No longer fearing for her life for whatever reason, she hugs my coat closer to her frame. That shouldn’t please me, yet here I am, noticing each time she sighs in relief. I should’ve given it to her sooner.
“What’s your story?” I ask, hoping it’ll give her the excuse to give me a few minutes without having her stare weigh me down. “No one should’ve been in that house.”
I need to know the answer. It’s been bugging me ever since I first laid my eyes on her.
“He’s my guardian. Well, was my guardian. Outside of the whole being dead thing, I turned eighteen a few weeks ago.” She finally looks away and leans forward to press her fingers against the vents. “I’m sure he planned on kicking me out any day now.”
She sounds sour like she’s hardly mourning after the man.
“Bad relationship?” I should be satisfied with what I know, but more questions keep coming out.
When she’s not screaming, she’s got quite the soothing voice. I could listen to her read a collection of encyclopedias and still enjoy myself.
“Hardly close enough to call it a relationship,” she mumbles to herself. “He just took me in to get his part of my mother’s will. The man is the definition of greed.”
I’m surprised not only by the information but her willingness to tell me.
“You didn’t get anything?”
Her nose scrunches. “I’ve got a savings account that’ll be available to me when I turn twenty-one. Maybe she thought I’d be less likely to blow it on something stupid if I grew up a little. She probably didn’t think I’d have to take care of myself starting from sixteen. The money sounded nice a long time ago.”
She grows quiet for a moment before drawing her knees up to her chest. I try not to notice the way her nightgown doesn’t even try to fight gravity. Eyes up, .
“Sorry, too much information. It’s been a long while since I’ve talked to someone. A really long time.” Her words are muffled against her kneecaps.
Fuck, did Hector leave the woman locked up? This angel is someone who shouldn’t be kept secret. If I’d met her on normal terms, not during a job, then maybe…
No. Not maybe. She’s eighteen years old, freshly an adult. She’s the last thing that should be on my mind. But if she’s been hidden away from the world for all that time without anyone at her side, does that mean she’s innocent in every way possible?
Digging my palm into my eye, I grunt. My thoughts are not even safe anymore. Need to keep talking. Silence is dangerous.
“Two years long?” I get it to a point. I’ve got no friends, no family. Nothing that can be used as leverage. I’m a loner who lurks in the shadows. Opportunities to stop and have a chat are rare to come. A cabin in the middle of nowhere is my dream home, for fucks sake. I am choosing the life she’s been put in.
“Yeah, something like that. My uncle talked to me a little at first. It was awkward, more than you’d think. I mean, I didn’t even know about his existence until her funeral. He was in the room when the will was addressed too. He wasn’t parent material.”
Sammy’s already talking about Hector in past tense now like she’s accepted his state. I don’t know if I want to feel relieved or not. When she goes silent, the weight in my gut doubles down.
The topic must be exhausting because she looks like she’s one blink away from dozing off.
“Get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.” The words come out like an order rather than a request. The roughness of my voice doesn’t startle her, not like it should.
“What’s going to happen to me, ?” She wraps her arms around her knees and my coat swallows her body.
“I don’t know.” The truth spills out too easily. I can’t take her to Texas with me. Kidnapping her from a house she can hardly call home is one thing, but I can’t force her to share the same dream as mine.
This woman looks like she hasn’t seen the sun. Like a canary trapped in a cage. I’d only be shifting her from one prison to another if I kept her at my side unwillingly.
Even if the voice in the back of my head is demanding that I never let her go, I can’t possibly succumb to my greed. I need to get her somewhere that isn’t within my grasp. For her safety and my sanity.
“I’ve got a few safe houses throughout the country. I planned on selling them off now that I don’t have a need for them anymore. I’ll let you pick one out and we’ll get you over to it one way or another. You can start a new life without anyone holding you back. You can do whatever you want at that point.”
“I thought hitmen were supposed to be cold-hearted. You don’t seem that way at all.” This poor woman trusts me enough to close her eyes. I don’t deserve even to be in her presence.
She doesn’t know how much blood I have on my hands. Or how much money I’ve got saved up after taking job after job despite being financially set. I’ve been a killer for all these years because I’m good at what I do. I enjoy taking out every single bad person who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as the innocent. I don’t think twice, ever.
Well, not ever. If that were the case, Sammy wouldn’t be starting to doze off. She’d be shot dead in the dining room of that filthy house. The image of her covered in her own blood crossing my mind leaves a horrible taste in the back of my throat. Every time a bad thought of the woman crosses my mind, I suddenly have a weak stomach.
“Looks can be deceiving,” I mumble under my breath before letting out a sigh. It hardly helps ease the tension in my shoulders. “Keep your guard up angel, don’t go trusting someone just because they offer something.”
I look her way only once to see a hint of a smile on her lips like she’s humored by my advice. I can’t look at her again after that, not without risking that smile of hers being burned into my mind.
I’ve seen the woman in tears, fearful for her life. This is something entirely different. Something foreign. I can’t make her smile, it feels illegal.
Once my actions really settle, she’ll realize what I’ve done. She won’t ever smile at me again once she understands how undeserving I am.
Sammy dozes off within the next ten minutes. I’m not surprised. It’s the dead of the night and she would’ve been sleeping if I hadn’t interrupted her night. While the radio plays softly, I listen to her light snores. Making sure not to hit a single dip in the road, I continue forward.
We’re on the highway within the hour. Road clear, I speed along and erase some distance between my future home. We’re nowhere close and I’m almost thankful. Eventually, I’m going to need to take a detour and take her somewhere safe. Somewhere no one can hurt her.
I’ve got a safe house in New Mexico, the one closest to my final destination. It’s technically on the way. Do I want to keep her that close? Maybe I should take her to the one in Utah. A little further outside of my reach, but still close enough that I can make it within a day if need be.
There won’t be a reason though, will there? Sammy will get on her feet and won’t need me in her life. I’ll give her some money to get a start, I’ve got more than enough. Hell, I can make it where she’ll never have to work for anything.
Scratching my stubble-covered cheek, I frown. I’m thinking too much about this.
It would be easier just to drop her off at some police station. She could tell them the truth and they’d help her out. Maybe she’d end up homeless and on the streets after.
Cracking my window, I light up a cigarette. I need something to ease the throbbing above my temple. The more I think about the woman’s future, the worse the pain gets. When did I suddenly become the caring type? Someone’s well-being shouldn’t be my top priority.
I look her way each time she stirs in her sleep, caving to the temptation too easily. Every single time, it feels like she snuggles closer and closer to my coat. Honestly, it’s her coat now. I can buy a new one. Yeah, I’m not sure I’d want to steal it back from her.
Finishing my cigarette, I flick the bud outside and resume my attention on the road.
I last another hour before the urge to sleep starts to crawl in. I can’t stay up forever, I’m only human after all. When the next rest stop comes my way, I pull in.
Sammy’s still snoozing away, hardly reacting as I shut off the engine. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for the cold air to start creeping in. Thankfully, I’ve got a blanket sitting in the backseat. It’s thick and meant to help keep the cold out.
Should’ve pulled it up earlier, but it didn’t even cross my mind with everything going on. Now that my thoughts aren’t spiraling and I can think, I’m quick to reach back and grab it.
I can deal with the cold. I’m thick-skinned.
With Sammy’s bare legs and feet, I know it won’t be long before she’s shivering up a storm again. I give her the blanket, making sure not a single inch of her skin is exposed to the winter air. She sighs in her sleep when I tuck some beneath her chin.
Two hours. I’ll snag a nap and then get back on the road. We’ll stop somewhere and grab a bite. She’ll be starving by then. As long as she doesn’t try to run off while I’m sleeping, I’ll stop at whatever drive-thru she wants.
If she does run and makes the smart decision of putting space between us, I won’t hunt her down. I won’t use my skills to steal her again. I won’t. If the truck is empty, I’ll leave and keep going like I hadn’t run into the woman in the first place.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I force my eyes shut. If I don’t, then I’ll be wasting time watching the woman sleep so peacefully. Though, watching her makes it easier to ignore the dread weighing down in my stomach.