2. Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Bailey sat at the outdoor picnic table and stared at the U-Haul parked in the mostly empty lot. Gonzo’s SUV was the only other vehicle around.
Getting out of her lease had been the right move. There was no way she could live in that crappy apartment, but now where was she supposed to live? Ugh, it’s a good thing she didn’t have a knife and her ex nearby, or she would not be responsible for her actions. Fucking Brad.
She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. This was not how her life was supposed to be. She had a plan, and until recently, she’d been on track. Now it felt like her life was a flashing neon sign of missteps and mistakes. How could she have been so stupid? Resting her elbows on the splintered wood table, she dropped her head down and dug her fingertips into her tense scalp.
She felt someone approach and looked up as Gonzo set a tray with burgers and fries on the table.
“Eat, you’ll feel better.” Gonzo pushed the tray toward her then grabbed a burger off the tray for himself.
Bailey opened the foil wrapper and stared at the greasy burger in her hand. She could practically hear Brad’s voice condemning her for even looking at the burger let alone thinking about eating it. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. When was the last time she’d allowed herself to eat fast food? Her stomach rolled and she set the burger down on the tray.
“What’s the matter? Did I fuck up your order?” Gonzo asked.
She eyed the foil wrapper. “What? No, of course not, it’s fine.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Nothing.” There was no way she was about to admit to Gonzo that the idea of eating the greasy burger made her feel sick. He wouldn’t understand. She looked up to find her friend watching her closely.
Gonzo’s eyes narrowed. “Please tell me you haven’t become a vegetarian or something.”
“No, no, nothing like that. I’m just not very hungry.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “What am I supposed to do, Gonz? I’ve got nowhere to go.”
“Move in with me.”
Bailey’s head snapped back. “What?”
“Just move in with me,” he said, then picked up his burger and took a large bite.
How could he throw something like that out so casually and then just stuff his face? He couldn’t be serious. “Yeah, right,” she mumbled.
He wiped the edge of his mouth with his napkin, then took a sip of his drink. “Why not?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Because I can’t,” she scoffed.
“Why? You need a place to live. I’ve got a spare bedroom. It’s not like you have a ton of options at the moment, Bay.”
“Yeah, but, come on, we’ve barely seen each other in the past ten years. I can’t just move in with you.”
“Bailey don’t be stupid. I’ve known you since I was five years old. The shit that matters doesn’t change.”
If only that were true. The girl he knew would never have allowed a man to treat her like she let Brad. She barely recognized herself. “People change, Gonz.”
“Ok, how’ve you changed?”
“I don’t know, I just have.” The man sitting across from her barely resembled the boy she remembered. Sure, he’d always been confident, maybe even a little cocky, but now everything about him screamed he could back it up. Whereas all her confidence had disappeared the moment she’d found out her ex-boyfriend had cheated on her with her best friend. Her petite, perfect size zero best friend. The one she’d stupidly convinced her fiancé to hire as his assistant. God, she’d been so stupid. No, the Bailey he knew was gone.
“Did you become a serial killer?” Gonzo asked as he took another bite of his burger.
“Of course not,” she scoffed.
“You develop one of those weird home shopping network addictions and that entire U-Haul is filled with porcelain dolls?” He tilted his head toward the U-Haul.
“No, smart-ass.” She rolled her eyes. “But people change, Gonzo.”
“Jesus, Bailey. You clogged my toilet in high school.”
“Ugh.” She gasped. “Rude. You don’t need to bring that up.”
He laughed. “Bay, seriously, I gave you my favorite sweats when you got your period at school. I’ve held your freaking hair while you puked. You’ve snotted all over me when you cried over some loser.”
“Hey, I don’t think you can talk about my bodily functions, dude. I touched your ‘special sock’.” She shuddered. She could still picture the mortified look on Gonzo’s face when she’d picked up the offending sock off the side of the bed so she could sit down. Why boys used socks to masturbate she’d never understand.
“Exactly,” Gonzo agreed. “Kids are fucking gross and we remained friends through all of that. I’m pretty sure we can handle living together now.”
“Gonzo, come on. I follow you on social media. I know how active your social life is. There’s no way you want me cramping your style.”
“Bay, I have four bedrooms. You being in one of them is not going to cramp shit. You can be my wingman and get rid of anyone who clings on and doesn’t want to leave.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Yep, but you love me anyway.” He tossed a fry in his mouth and winked when he caught it.
“Mmm, sometimes I wonder why,” she muttered.
“I’m being serious, Bay. It’s not a problem at all for you to move in. During the season, I’m barely home, so you’d practically have the place to yourself. You can stay as long as you like. Learn San Diego, get the lay of the land, figure out where you want to live. Wait till you find something you actually like so you don’t have to move a bunch of times.”
It would be nice to actually look at a place in person before she committed to moving there. Maybe she’d even be able to find something closer to the university, so she could walk to work and she could hold off on buying a car.
She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at Gonzo. “You sure you wouldn’t mind?”
“Nah, not at all.” He took a sip of his drink. “Why don’t we go check out my place? If you like it, we go find a storage unit and put your stuff into that so you can return the U-Haul. If you hate it, we start calling around to see if we can find you someplace to move. Either way, you need someplace to stay tonight, and my place is free.” He threw his garbage onto the tray.
“Free’s good.”
“Figures.” Gonzo snorted. “See. You haven’t changed that much after all.”
Twenty minutes later, Bailey walked into the apartment and scanned the open layout. Good lord. She knew Gonzo made a lot of money, but this was ridiculous. She wandered over to the row of floor-to-ceiling windows that covered the entire living room and looked out. The ocean spanned out for miles in front of her. The unobstructed view made it feel like her own private sanctuary. “Wow. That view sure beats looking at old man Peter’s lawn full of cars.”
“No shit.” Gonzo snorted. “Does he still have those?”
“Of course he does. Not much has changed in the old neighborhood.”
Bailey glanced back at the ocean view. “Seriously, Gonz, this view is amazing!”
Gonzo walked up beside her and nudged her with his hip. “It’s not bad, huh?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“You remember when we were kids and dreamed about seeing the ocean someday?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She smiled at the memory of the two of them sitting in the tree fort in her backyard, talking all big about what they were going to be when they grew up. She was going to be an astronaut and fly to the moon and Gonzo was going to be a professional baseball player. Over the years she’d changed her mind a million times, but Gonzo’s dream had never wavered. Looking at this apartment with the view of the ocean and the TV that took up an entire wall, it was like he’d gone down the dream list and checked off every box. Whereas her list had been lost years ago. As happy as she was for her childhood friend, she couldn’t deny there was a little part of her that was jealous. She’d busted her ass doing everything she was supposed to do and where had it gotten her? Alone in a new town, without a car, without a home. Honestly, it was kind of humiliating.
She glanced around the apartment. Even if she hadn’t broken up with Brad, she’d never have been able to afford to live in a place like this. And in her current situation, her budget ran more toward the apartment she’d just turned down. As nice as it would be to have a free place to live to give her a chance to save up some money, she couldn’t take advantage of Gonzo. He’d always been the kind of guy to bend over backwards for everyone else, even when he didn’t want to. Offering her a place to crash was just another one of those times.
“So you wanna see your room?”
She eyed the gaming system in the entertainment stand. This place screamed bachelor. Rich bachelor, but bachelor. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t stay here.”
“Why?”
“Come on, Gonz, you’re off the hook. We both know you made that offer just to be nice, and I’m not going to hold you to it.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t cool with you staying. Come on, Bay, there’s no fucking way I’m going to let you move into some shithole just so you don’t feel guilty about crashing in my place. I’ve got lots of space. I’m barely here, anyway.”
She’d seen the way girls threw themselves at Gonzo growing up. She could only imagine it was worse now that he was a professional ballplayer. And Gonzo had never been one to shy away from attention. “Yeah, but I don’t want to cramp your style when you are home.”
“How are you gonna cramp my style?”
Heat ran up her face. She could practically feel how red her face was. Damn Irish genes. “I don’t know. Girls?”
“You’d have your own room, Bay.” He looked at her and grinned as she shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny.
“I promise to control myself when it comes to sex.”
She snorted. “Right, so you’re just not going to have sex?”
Gonzo’s eyes widened in horror. “Jesus, no. Of course I’m going to have sex. I just promise not to do it some place that will make you uncomfortable.”
“Geez, thanks.” She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, you don’t think having me sleeping in the next bedroom is gonna cramp things when you bring some random woman home? Most girls wouldn’t like it.”
“Not really worried about whether or not they like it, honestly.”
“Oh, my god. Please tell me you have not become that guy.”
“What guy?”
“A player who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the girl’s feelings.”
“Bay, I don’t want to offend your sensibilities here, but the women I bring home aren’t like you.”
“Obviously,” she muttered.
“They know the score. They’re here for one reason and one reason only. Because we both want to have sex. That’s it. Once we’re done, we’re done. There’s no reading the paper over breakfast or shit like that.” He ran his hand through his dark brown hair. “They aren’t here in the morning, Bay. It’s not something to even worry about. As soon as we’re done, they leave.”
Was that seriously how his sex life was? No emotion, like a contact sport, just a fun way to end the evening. That seemed pretty empty. “Don’t you ever date?” she asked.
“I don’t have time for that during the season.” Gonzo wandered over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer. He held one up in the air and she nodded in acceptance. “And it feels like too much work the rest of the time.” He handed her a cold bottle of beer.
“Don’t you get lonely?” she asked.
“Come on, let me show you the spare bedroom.”
Apparently, he wanted to avoid that conversation. Bailey followed him through the lavish apartment. “Did you decorate this place?”
“I picked out the TV. Does that count?”
“Not really, no.” She ran her hand over some kind of sculpture. The metal felt almost alive beneath her touch. She had no idea what it was supposed to be, but it was beautiful nonetheless. “Did your mom or your sisters’ help?”
“Does this look like my mom’s style?”
Bailey paused in front of a large painting that filled the wall facing the foyer. “No, not really. But then it doesn’t really look like yours either.”
“Eh, it’s an investment piece, or so I’m told. The colors are cool.”
He continued down the hall then turned right at the first doorway. Bailey followed him into the room. She sucked in a breath when she saw the ocean view. “Oh my god, this is your spare bedroom?”
“Want to stay now?”
“Little bit, yeah.” Tearing her eyes off the view, she scanned the room. A queen-sized bed covered in pillows took up one wall of the room. She ran her hand over the plush, deep purple comforter. How did they make a blanket feel like that? She’d never felt anything so soft in her life. A beautiful abstract stormy seascape hung on the wall over the bed. The slash of purple in the skyline perfectly matched the comforter. She touched the bedside table. “I love these. They look like driftwood.”
“That’s the idea.”
“If this is your spare bedroom, I gotta see yours.”
Gonzo walked out of the room and she rushed after him. Bailey sucked in a breath when she saw the view from his bedroom. A huge king-sized bed took up one wall, facing the expansive ocean view. “Wow.”
Gonzo rested his hip against a large dresser, one foot crossed over the other as he watched her.
“Wow, you really have everything you ever dreamed of, don’t you?”
A look crossed so quickly over his face she almost missed it. “What?” she asked.
“No one has it all, Bay.”
She looked around the bedroom, her gaze landed on a picture of Gonzo with his family on what looked like a Hawaiian vacation. She picked up the picture and smiled. “Looks like you’re pretty damn close.”
He walked over and glanced down at the photo. “Mom always dreamed of going to Hawaii. She said when she moved to the states that was the place everyone said you had to see.”
“You took your whole family, nieces and nephews and everyone?”
“Yeah. There was no money for our family to do something for my parent’s twenty-fifth, but I managed to do it for their fortieth.”
She smiled down at the photo. “I’m sure it was everything they could have ever dreamed of.”
Gonzo snorted out a laugh. “Not even close.”
“What happened?”
“My niece had seen this restaurant on social media. I don’t know some celebrity, or something had been there, so she insisted we all go.” Gonzo cringed. “We all got food poisoning.”
“Oh my god, no.”
“Yep, then a few days later, my mom got stung by a jellyfish.” He shook his head. “The whole vacation was just one clusterfuck after another.”
“Well, you got a good family photo out of it at least,” Bailey said.
“Thank god we took that the first night because we sure as hell didn’t look like that when we went home.”
“Still, it’s very sweet that you took your whole family on vacation.”
“Yeah maybe. Raul and I got into it as usual about how I was showing off by being a big spender, taking his family on a trip he couldn’t afford.”
“Guess some things never change, huh?” Bailey said. Gonzo’s brother had always been jealous of his younger brother.
“Didn’t stop him from accepting the trip, though.” Resigned annoyance tinged Gonzo’s voice.
“He’s always wanted whatever you had.”
“Including you,” Gonzo said.
“Yes, well, once he found out you weren’t interested in me, he quickly realized he wasn’t either.” Bailey cringed. “Ah well, his reasoning was messed up, but at least he saved me from graduating high school without ever being kissed.”
Gonzo turned. “Hang on. Are you telling me my brother was your first kiss?”
“Afraid so. First and only kiss in high school. How’d you not know that?”
“How’s that even possible? I remember you going into the closet with what’s his name, Jeff … um … Clark, in eighth grade.”
“Mmm, yeah, he was afraid you’d punch him if he copped a feel.”
“Yeah, and I would have. Big difference between a little kiss in the closet and grabbing your boob.”
Bailey snorted out a laugh. “And you wonder why no one wanted to kiss me. Even now, more than a decade later, you still sound annoyed about it.”
“I just think you deserve more respect than that.”
“Well, I appreciate that, but in high school I have to admit I wished someone, anyone, liked me enough to risk pissing you off.” She sighed. “Probably why I let your brother kiss me, even though I knew it would cause issues between you two because I stupidly thought someone finally liked me.” She set the picture back down on the shelf. “Ah well, it was a long time ago.” And yet somehow the humiliation of how that time in her life felt was still alive and well.
Brushing off the wave of embarrassed nostalgia, Bailey walked over to the window and looked out. Gonzo stepped up beside her and bumped her with his hip. “So what do you say? Want to be my roomie?”
Her gaze lingered on the waves crashing against the shore. How amazing would it be to wake up to that every day? She’d never dreamed of living anywhere so luxurious. Would it be wrong to stay and enjoy it just for a little while? Things with Brad had ended so crappy, she hadn’t thought they could get much worse until she’d seen that apartment. What if that was all she could find? Or afford? She glanced at her childhood friend. What would she do without him? “Yeah, I want to be your roomie.”