11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
T he next morning, Bailey stood outside Ananda Yoga & Wellness Center. Hopefully Peyton didn’t oversell how amazing this studio was.
She pushed open the door, the bright crisp smell of some magical aromatherapy mixture instantly hit her nose. Oranges and something else. Whatever it was smelled amazing. She kicked off her flip-flops and set them on the shoe rack at the door, then wandered over to the check-in counter.
“Welcome,” the woman behind the counter said as she flipped her braid behind her shoulder. “I’m Shyla. How can I help you?”
“Hi there, umm, I have an appointment with Rayne at 10:30 but wanted to drop in on the 9 o’clock hot yoga class. Rayne had said drop in was fine.”
“Absolutely drop in is more than fine. Have you ever taken a hot yoga class before?”
“Once and if I’m honest, it wasn’t my favorite thing, but Rayne suggested it might be good to try before my session with her.” She shrugged. “I’m willing to give it a shot.”
“Jeremy’s classes are fantastic. I think you’ll really like it.”
“It’s a man teaching?”
“Yes.” Jenna studied her for a couple of seconds, then smiled. “He’s amazing. You have nothing to worry about. I think you’ll really like it if you give it a chance.”
Well, that was embarrassing. Now she looked like some judgmental idiot. “Of course. I’ve just never had a male yoga teacher, so it surprised me.” She held up her hand and reassured Shyla. “Pleasantly surprised me. I’m a sociologist, so I just—”
“Bailey?” a male voice said her name.
She turned toward the man. “Brandon? Hi. What are you doing here?” Gonzo’s gigantic teammate was the last person she’d expected to see at the yoga studio.
His full lips turned up slightly as he smirked back at her. “Taking yoga.”
“Right, of course.” She chuckled. “Sorry, I just didn’t picture you as a yoga guy.”
“No? How did you picture me?” His gaze skimmed down her body.
What was happening here? Why did it seem like he was flirting?
“No, I haven’t, I just, umm, what I meant was I assumed you worked out more like Gonzo, with the running and weights and all that. Not this.” She flapped her hand to encompass the studio.
“I do all that as well. But Kia convinced me to do a session with Rayne and now this is part of the routine.”
“Yeah, I’m trying out a class before an energy healing thing with Rayne that Peyton convinced me I needed to try. She got Rayne on the phone last night and organized everything before I had a chance to change my mind.”
The corner of Brandon’s eyes crinkled in amusement as his lip curved ever so slightly, almost like smiling wasn’t something that came naturally to him. “Guess you’ll be becoming a regular like me.”
Bailey wrinkled her nose. “I’m not sure. As you can tell, I’m not really one to workout much.”
Brandon’s gaze swept down her body. “Once Rayne’s gotten at you, you’ll be a lifer like the rest of us.”
“She’s that good?”
“Yeah.” He paused for several seconds. “So, what class are you here for?”
“Hot yoga?” Her voice hitched as she said it.
“You’re not sure?” He chuckled.
“No, I’m sure. I—” She sighed. “I’m just not sure I’m gonna like the class.”
“I hear ya. I didn’t think I’d like it either.” He hitched his yoga mat strap up his broad shoulder, drawing Bailey’s attention to his size. The man was huge. “You ready?” he asked.
Bailey took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be.” She followed Brandon down the hall to their studio. The sign on the wall said Fire studio. Geez, that sounded ominous.
Bailey stopped at the back of the class and set up her mat. Brandon laid his down beside her.
“You don’t have to hide back here with me,” she said.
“Nah, I always set up in the back. I don’t want to block anyone’s view of Jeremy.”
“How tall are you?”
“6’5.”
She’d never seen a man as muscular as him in any of the yoga classes she’d ever taken. Usually guys with muscles like him and Gonzo thought stretching was a waste of time.
“I can’t imagine Gonzo coming to a yoga class.”
“I tried to get him to come with me, but it’s not his thing.” He sat down on his black yoga mat. “Wasn’t my thing before either. But my range of motion used to suck, so this helps. Having better movement helps my swing so my batting average is better.”
“Really? I’m surprised Gonzo didn’t want to try it then.”
“He doesn’t really need the help with his batting like the rest of us.”
“Yeah, he’s having a pretty great season.”
“What’s the deal with you two?” Brandon asked.
Bailey looked over to find him watching her intently. “We’re friends, have been forever.”
“Just friends?”
“Can you imagine Gonzo dating someone like me?”
He tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. “I don’t know, but then I don’t really know him that well.”
“Well, trust me. I’m not his type.”
A slim man walked into the classroom. “Welcome everyone, please take your mat.”
Bailey stood at the top of her mat as the door to the studio shut. Instantly, it felt like the room warmed several degrees. What had she been thinking? She was going to melt in here.
Ethereal music played through the speakers, while Jeremy led them through some light flows to begin class.
Bailey bit back a groan as she eased into her first down dog of the class. She heard a little snicker from beside her, and she scowled over at Brandon. “Shut it,” she whispered.
His chuckle grew louder. “Didn’t say anything. I’m just not used to hearing f-bombs in here.”
She whipped her head to the side. “Did I swear?”
“Yep.” Brandon’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
“No talking, please,” Jeremy admonished.
Bailey scrunched up her face at Brandon. He flashed her a wink and continued to follow Jeremy’s instructions.
Forty minutes later, Bailey had a paddling pool worth of sweat lingering on her mat. She’d moved past feeling like she wanted to puke from the heat and slid into some kind of weird floating feeling that she never wanted to end. Her body moved and stretched in ways she didn’t know it could.
Jeremy stopped at her mat. “Press your hips out slightly.” He stepped toward her. “Is it okay if I touch you to show you?”
“Of course,” she replied.
He placed his hand on her lower back. “Breathe into your sacrum.”
She took a deep breath and exhaled.
He tapped his hand where he wanted her to breathe. “Bring your breath here.”
How the hell was she supposed to breathe into that area? It was nowhere near her lungs.
“Picture your breath moving through your body and into your sacrum,” Jeremy said.
Whatever, buddy. Bailey took a breath and visualized the breath moving down her body and into the space beneath Jeremy’s hand. Suddenly, the muscles in her lower back released and a wave of emotion swept through her, making her suck in a breath.
“That’s it,” Jeremy said. “And again, deep breath in and send the breath.”
Bailey took another deep breath and felt it move through her body. She exhaled audibly.
“Beautiful.” Jeremy released his hand on her back and continued walking around the room. “Now let’s breathe into the root chakra,” he said.
She flowed through the last several movements of class, listening to the sound of Jeremy’s instructions. As she lay in shavasana for the final pose of class, dripping in more sweat than she’d ever imagined was humanly possible, her body felt better than she could ever remember.
“You can stay here for a couple more minutes or if you’re ready, roll to your side for a moment and come into a seated position.”
Bailey rolled to her side and sat up crossed legged on her mat.
“Hands to prayer. Deep breath in and out. And bow,” Jeremy said. “Namaste.”
“Namaste.” Bailey raised her head and sighed.
“Well?” Brandon said from beside her.
Bailey glanced over at him and smiled. Why was it that men looked so good all sweaty and she was sure she looked like she’d been dragged in from the rain?
When she didn’t speak, Brandon chuckled. “What time’s your appointment with Rayne?”
“10:30.” Her head felt all light and floaty, and yet she was weirdly exhilarated.
Brandon shifted on his mat beside her. “You all good?”
“I think so,” she mumbled. She stood up and instantly the world spun around her.
Brandon’s arm clamped around hers as he held her up from falling.
“Whoa.” She laughed nervously. “Got a little dizzy there.”
“What’d you eat today?” Brandon asked.
“Umm nothing, I don’t like to eat before I workout.”
“Are you kidding me?” He shook his head. “Alright, let’s go,” he ordered.
“What? Where?” Feeling a little more stable on her feet, she blinked up at the giant beside her.
“We’re getting you a smoothie before your appointment with Rayne.”
“I don’t need a smoothie. I just stood up too fast.”
“It wasn’t really up for discussion, Bailey.”
She placed her hands on her hips and glared up at the big man. “You realize I’m a grownup, right?”
He glared back at her. “Then how about you act like it and put some fucking food in your belly before you pass out.”
The lightheadedness continued to make her vision waiver. “Fine. But just for the record, there’s a nice way to look after someone and there’s whatever the hell that was.” Bailey attempted to storm away and stumbled slightly as her legs buckled.
Brandon’s arm clamped around her elbow. “Duly noted.” He held her steady while she got her feet back under her.
Jeremy came jogging over. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?”
“Fine. Just stood up too fast,” she mumbled.
“And didn’t eat or drink anything today,” Brandon added.
“Narc.” She scowled at him, then turned to Jeremy. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I was completely fine all during the class.” She smiled, hoping to reassure him it was nothing he had done wrong with the class.
“It can happen like that sometimes after you work out too hard without enough fuel.” Brandon leaned down and grabbed her sweaty mat and quickly rolled it up and shoved it into her bag. He grabbed his bag off the floor and slung both bags over his shoulder. “Alright, let’s get you a smoothie and some fresh air.”
“Good idea.” Jeremy’s head bobbed in agreement. “I hope you enjoyed the class but promise me you’ll eat first next time. It’s important you fuel your body properly before strenuous exercise.”
“I know, that was my bad. I was just thinking it’s yoga.” She waved her hand. “It didn’t occur to me it would be a problem.”
“Hot yoga is a bit different because you sweat so much. It’s easy to get dehydrated.”
“Lesson learned.” Bailey smiled. “I did really enjoy the class a lot. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. Now go get something in your body. Drink lots of liquids today.”
“Got it.”
Brandon gestured toward the door. “Let’s go.”
“You really are bossy, you know?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Once in the lobby, she followed Brandon over to a side entrance that led into the vegan cafe next door. She looked up at the menu and wrinkled her nose. Who named these things? Ananda Sunrise. Soul Good. Ananda Bandha. Sheesh. Although she had to admit the Ananda Sunrise sounded pretty good. Coconut water, peaches, strawberries, banana, and OJ? Yes, please!
“What’ll it be?” Brandon asked.
“Can I get the Ananda Sunrise, please?”
“And can I get the Green Machine and we’ll both have protein in there too please,” Brandon ordered.
“Of course,” the woman behind the counter said.
Brandon pulled out his credit card and tapped the machine before she could even pull out her wallet from her bag.
“Thank you,” Bailey said.
“No problem. I’d never hear the end of it if I let you pass out.”
“I wasn’t going to pass out.” Although she could admit to herself at least that it had been close. “But thank you, I really appreciate it.”
The woman set their smoothies on the counter in front of them. Brandon grabbed them both, then handed her the pink one. She eyed the green concoction in his hand. “That looks disgusting.”
He put the straw up to his mouth and took a big sip without saying a word. Brandon glanced at his watch. “Let’s get you some fresh air before your appointment while you pound your drink.”
As they made their way into the parking lot, Brandon veered toward a black sports car. The trunk lifted as they approached. He threw his yoga mat inside and slammed it shut so quickly Bailey barely even had to slow her pace. At Gonzo’s SUV, she pushed the button to raise the trunk.
“Is this Gonzo’s?” Brandon asked as he threw her yoga mat inside.
“It is. I had to get rid of my car before I moved, so he’s letting me use his.” And thank god for that. After getting stuck with half of the non-refundable wedding deposits, her bank account was a little slim. Fortunately, Gonzo had two vehicles so he didn’t even miss this one.
“You sure there isn’t something going on with you two?”
“I’m sure.”
“He must really trust you. I don’t let anyone drive my ride.”
“Not even your family?”
“Fuck no,” he muttered.
Bailey eyed Brandon. As much as she wanted to say more, his body language made it very clear the subject was off limits.
“So, you’ve been here a couple of seasons now. How do you like San Diego?”
“It’s good.” Brandon turned left and started walking down the block. “How’d you know I’ve been here for a couple of years?”
“Because I’m a Hawks fan, so I know who our players are.”
“Oh yeah?” His eyebrow hitched up like he didn’t quite believe her.
“Yeah, ask me something.”
“Okay, who was the winning pitcher when we won the World Series?”
Bailey rolled her eyes. “Ryan Graves.”
“Okay, that was too easy.” Brandon narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “Who owns the team?”
“I think it’s a group of people actually, but the face is Matthias Hoffman.”
“Damn, I’m impressed.”
“Told ya,” Bailey said.
Brandon took a long sip of his gross looking green drink. “How about you? What brought you here?”
“A job.” There was no way she was getting into the whole thing with her ex, with some guy she barely knew.
“What do you do?”
“I’m a sociology professor.”
“No shit?”
“Nope.”
“Very cool.” Brandon glanced at his watch. “You better pound that thing, Rayne will be waiting for you.”
She took a big sip, then another as they walked back toward the studio.
“How you feeling? Any better?” he asked.
Embarrassed, she took another sip before answering. “I’m fine, thank you.”
“No problem.” Back at the studio parking lot, Brandon held out his hand. “Give me your phone.”
“Why?”
“So you can call me if you want to take another class.”
“I think I can just organize coming back through Rayne.”
Brandon chuckled. “Yeah, I was thinking more like having someone beside you to catch you when you pass out.”
“Haha, smart ass,” she said.
Brandon flicked his fingers for her to give him her phone. “Brandon, I’m not really interested in being anyone’s pity date.”
His head snapped up. “What?”
“I heard you and Gonzo the other night when he said you didn’t date women like me. And I appreciate you being so nice, but I don’t really want to be anyone’s pity date.”
“What are you talking about? Gonzo didn’t say that because he thought it was a pity date, he was making it known you’re a good girl. And I don’t date good girls.”
Good girl? What the hell was that? She’d had a one-night stand before. “I’m not a good girl.”
Brandon snorted. “Ugh, yeah you are.”
She planted her hands on her hips. He couldn’t tell that just by looking at her. That was rude.
Brandon chuckled and held up his hands. “Easy Tiger, it wasn’t an insult. I respect the hell out of it. I’m just not a relationship guy. Besides, I’d have to be an idiot not to see what’s happening with you and Gonzo.” He flicked his finger for her to give him the phone again. “Give me your phone. I could use a yoga buddy.”
“What do you mean? There’s nothing going on between us.”
“Not yet maybe. But I’m gonna have fun bugging the shit out of both of you till you admit it.”
Yeah, right, if only that was true. But she’d given up on that childhood dream back in high school. She handed him her phone. “Gonzo’s not really a relationship guy either.”
“I don’t know. Eventually we all meet that person we can’t walk away from, and I think you might be his.” Brandon typed in his number, then handed her phone back. “Now you better hurry up, Rayne will be waiting.”
“Good luck at your next game,” she said as she took her phone back. Was he right? Could there be something between her and Gonzo? Things felt different between them ever since she’d moved in. Sometimes she’d swear he was looking at her like a woman instead of Bailey, the best friend, but she’d written it off as wishful thinking. Could it be more? No. She shook her head. She was just being stupid. If she couldn’t hold the attention of Brad, there was no way she’d even get the attention of someone like Gonzo, let alone hold it. It was stupid to even dream otherwise. She should just be thankful they were friends, like they’d always been. Wishing for something more would only make things awkward because it was never going to happen.
Bailey walked back into Ananda. A gorgeous brunette stood behind the counter. Her brown hair shone in the sun.
“Bailey?” the woman asked.
“Yes.”
The ethereal goddess smiled. “I’m Rayne.”
Of course she was.
Rayne stepped out from behind the counter. Her shirt flowed down her body and hung off her shoulder in that effortless way it did on some women. Bailey had never been able to pull off that kind of look. Probably because she required an industrial strength bra to keep her boobs contained. A wave of envy stabbed Bailey in the gut and she bit it back. Nope, she wasn’t going there.
“Come on back,” Rayne said.
As they walked down the hall, Rayne glanced back over her shoulder. “Thanks for filling out the forms online. It gives me a great starting point.”
Starting point? That was the most thorough form she’d ever filled out in her life. It covered everything from when she ate, to her menstrual cycle, to whether she preferred hot or cold liquids to drink.
“Sure, no problem,” Bailey replied.
Rayne stepped into a room. There was a massage table on one side of the room and a pair of comfy looking chairs facing each other on the other. Some kind of aroma puffed out from a vaporizer in the corner.
“Have a seat,” Rayne said, indicating the chair against the wall.
Bailey sat down and stared in awe as Rayne dropped onto the opposite chair and pulled her legs up under herself like a pretzel. The human body wasn’t supposed to move like that.
“Peyton tells me you just moved to San Diego?”
“I did yes.”
“How do you like it so far?”
“Good, I guess. It’s a bit early to tell.”
“You came here for a job?” Rayne asked.
“I suppose.” If it hadn’t been for Brad getting a transfer, she probably never would have even considered moving. She’d been happy at her job. She’d been on the tenure track, getting recognized in her field. But Brad needed to move for his job and she’d agreed that following him would be the best thing for their relationship.
“What do you mean you suppose?” Rayne pressed.
“Umm.” How much did she really want to get into with this woman? She was here for some kind of fancy massage, not therapy.
The other woman smiled kindly. “This is a safe space, Bailey. You don’t have to go into anything you don’t feel comfortable talking about. Why don’t I tell you a bit about what to expect and we can go from there?”
“Okay.”
“As you know, I’m a licensed massage therapist, but I also combine massage with various other modalities of body and energy work.”
“Okay? What does that mean?”
“If means depending on what your body tells me, I may go in a slightly different direction with a treatment than what we have originally discussed.”
“What my body tells you?” Bailey couldn’t keep the skepticism out of her tone.
The corner of Rayne’s eyes crinkled with a smile. “Energy gets stored in the body for various reasons, and sometimes it gets stuck. It might feel like a heaviness in your chest, sometimes it’s a little pinch of a muscle in a certain area. We’ll start with some chakra work and then move into moving some energy, then dig deeper into the muscles as needed.”
“Moving some energy with my chakras, got it.” Wow, who knew Gonzo was friends with someone so new-agey? She couldn’t picture him talking about chakras and energy.
“I take it this is a bit different for you.”
“You could say that, yes. Honestly, I’ve only had a couple of massages in my life, period.”
“Really? Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really love strangers touching my body.”
“That’s helpful for me to know. Are there any areas that you would like me to work on or anywhere that you aren’t comfortable with me touching?”
“Umm, my neck is always tight, but whose isn’t, right?” She chuckled.
“Anywhere you’re uncomfortable with since you said you don’t really like being touched by strangers?”
Pretty much everywhere, she thought. She settled for saying, “My stomach, I guess.”
“Okay, is that a hard and fast don’t touch or is it something you’re willing to explore?”
Bailey shifted in her seat. “Umm I don’t know.” The muscles in her stomach didn’t hurt. The scar from her surgery had healed perfectly. She couldn’t imagine energy, or whatever, would guide Rayne to need to touch there.
“The reason I ask is that your stomach is a pretty central part of your body. It stores a lot of energy and it can get pretty blocked and tight.”
The idea of someone as physically perfect as Rayne touching her stomach was mortifying. “I’m sure it does, but…it’s…it’s just my stomach.” She puffed out a breath. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Why wouldn’t I understand?”
Bailey snorted. “Look at you.”
“I’m sorry. How does the way I look have anything to do with my ability to be compassionate and sensitive to what’s needed?”
“It’s not that I don’t think you could be compassionate, I just don’t think you could ever understand.”
If Bailey hadn’t been watching, she wouldn’t have seen the way Rayne’s jaw clenched slightly before she rubbed her lips together on a breath. “Bailey, please don’t do to me, what you hate having done to you.”
Yikes, was that what she was doing? She sure hoped not. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it?” Rayne asked.
Shame clenched in her gut, making her even more aware of her body. “Sorry, that wasn’t my intention at all. I’m just…” She looked up at the ceiling as she tried to figure out how to explain herself. Screw it. Maybe Rayne was right and she did have a lot of stuck emotion that needed to be moved. She sure as hell had a pit in her stomach at the moment and it seemed to be swirling like a vortex because the more she thought about her body image, the more emotional she felt. “I hate my body. I’ve never liked it, but after my last relationship I…I don’t know, I’m kind of ashamed of it.”
Rayne’s eyes softened, and she smiled in a way that made Bailey think maybe she understood. Although how that was possible, she didn’t know.
“Oh Bailey, I understand that feeling more than you could ever know.” Rayne’s mouth clicked. After a couple of seconds, she finally spoke. “I had an eating disorder in high school.”
“What?” Bailey’s eyes widened as she looked at the other woman. Rayne looked like the picture-perfect female body.
“I spent most of 11th grade in treatment. It was pretty bad. So I may look different than you do, but I’m very well aware of body image issues, shame and all the other feelings we can have about who we are or aren’t, as the case may be. That’s why I do this kind of work and why I’m so confident in saying emotion and energy get stuck and need to be worked through.”
“Wow, umm, I don’t really know what to say,” Bailey said.
“The only reason I shared that with you is because I thought it might help. I get it, Bailey, and I really think I can help you. But I need you to trust me just a little. Can you do that?”
Could she? If it would help her flush through all the damage Brad had caused, she’d be willing to do just about anything. “I can try.”
“Good.” Rayne stood up. “I’ll let you get undressed. Underwear on or off, it’s up to you whatever you’re most comfortable with. I’ll get you to lie on your stomach with your face in the cradle and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Bailey watched as Rayne left the room. The second the door closed, she hopped up and started quickly undressing. She had no idea how long Rayne would give her to undress and the last thing she wanted was for Rayne to open the door when she was standing there in nothing but her panties. It was one thing to be practically naked on the table. It was a whole other thing to be caught trying to awkwardly peel off a sweaty pair of leggings with your bare boobs hanging out.
She quickly folded up her clothes in a neat pile, then jumped onto the table on her belly. She awkwardly shimmied the sheet up to cover as much of her bare back as she could. After a couple of seconds, she shifted to get more comfortable, then shifted again as she tried to relax.
“Grr,” she groaned. God, she hated that she’d let Brad change how she felt about herself. Fuck you, Brad. No more. She exhaled all the breath in her lungs and her body let out a little sigh as it melted into the table a bit. A light knock sounded on the door. “Yes,” Bailey called out. A second later, the door snicked open.
“I’m just going to put on some music and we’ll get started,” Rayne told her.
Here goes nothing.