16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
L ast night with Bailey had been phenomenal. Better than he’d ever imagined. For the first time in his life, he was excited about moving forward with a woman. Not just a woman. Bailey.
He poured the coffee beans in the grinder at the top of his espresso machine and hit the button. He knew exactly how Bailey liked her morning coffee. Besides himself, he’d never really bothered to pay attention to how people took their coffee or if it changed. With Bailey, it did. Her first coffee of the day was always a straight double shot of espresso. Later in the day, she’d switch to fancy creams and flavors. But when she woke up, just give her straight and as strong as possible.
He packed the fresh grounds into the portafilter and connected it to the machine. He’d just pushed the button for the espresso when Bailey walked into the room, freshly showered, looking all prim and proper. It immediately made him want to rumple her back up.
Bailey glanced at him shyly, then looked away like she wasn’t sure how to behave.
Fuck that. They weren’t gonna have some awkward morning after between them. He stalked toward her, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her against him. Bailey gasped as her body crashed against his. That was better. He threaded his hand through her hair and brought her mouth to his for a searing kiss. “Morning,” he mumbled against her lips.
“Umm, morning.” She blinked up at him in a daze.
Pleased with himself, he grabbed her coffee off the machine and handed it to her. Bailey eyed the drink, then brought it up to her mouth, closed her eyes and inhaled slowly, like she always did before she took the first sip. Once she’d taken the first drink, she opened her eyes and smiled. “Perfect. Thank you.”
“No problem. I know how you get if you don’t get your caffeine.” Now that she’d showered, he began assembling the ingredients for French toast.
Bailey watched him. “What are you doing?”
“Making you breakfast.” He pulled out four slices of brioche and set them on the counter.
“Why are you making me breakfast?”
He flicked a glance over his shoulder. “What do you mean? I always cook for you when I’m home.”
Bailey chewed her bottom lip. “I know. I just wasn’t sure after last night.”
Gonzo stopped what he was doing and faced her. “What do you mean you weren’t sure after last night?”
Bailey shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, what are we doing here?”
“I thought that was pretty obvious,” he said.
Bailey looked at him and sighed. “Come on Gonzo, you aren’t a relationship guy, we both know that.”
“True, yeah.” But that was before her.
“Gonzo, you hook up with a different girl in every city. I don’t see that changing just because we had sex.”
His stomach clenched like she’d punched him in the gut. “Whoa, that’s not exactly fair. Just because I’ve slept with a lot of women doesn’t mean I can’t settle down.”
She tilted her head to the side and studied him. “Gonzo, I’m not stupid. I’m very well aware of your reputation.”
His reputation. Right. Because how could he possibly be more than that? “Bay, sometimes a reputation’s just a glimpse of a man’s past. It doesn’t determine his future.”
Bailey smiled sadly. “Gonzo, when’s the last time you dated a woman for longer than a year? Hell longer than a couple of months?”
“Just because I haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a year doesn’t mean I don’t want one. I do. I see what my friends have. Who wouldn’t want that?” He pushed his hand through his hair. “But I also look at some of the other guys on the team and how wrecked they’ve been when their relationships fall apart, and yeah, maybe I’ve steered clear. The idea of anything fucking up my game, no thanks.”
He put his hands on her waist and hoisted her up on the kitchen counter, so they were eye level. “I’ve never had a woman in my life who made me want to take the risk.” He picked up her hand and rubbed his thumb absently against her finger. “But you’re different…” He took a deep breath. “Not being with you is fucking up my game already, so what’s the difference?”
“How am I fucking up your game?”
“Jesus, Bay, you’re all I think about. You’re in my head whether I want you there or not. When I’m out with the guys, I want to be at home with you. Someone tells a joke and I immediately want to tell it to you just so I can see that little smile you get when you think something is ridiculous, but you can’t help but laugh.”
She dipped her head.
“I’m fucking gone over you, Bay.” He nudged her knees apart and moved his body closer so he was standing between her legs. “You make me want to risk it.”
“Really?”
“Jesus, Bay, I wouldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t want to give us a shot. I wouldn’t risk our friendship over one night. I told you that last night.”
“I know, but what if we don’t work out? “
“What if we do?”
Bailey chewed her bottom lip as her eyes searched his face. “I don’t want to lose you over sex.”
He sighed. “Pretty sure we should have had that discussion before we ended up in bed. We can’t exactly put the cat back in the bag, so I figure we see where this goes.”
“You really want to date me? Take me out with your friends and to parties? Have me wear your jersey at games?”
“Don’t we already do that?”
Bailey huffed out a breath. “It’s different if I’m your girlfriend and not just your friend.”
He slid closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I know. If you’re my girlfriend, I’ll get to put my hands on you instead of just wanting to.”
She smacked him on the arm. “Gonzo, I’m being serious.”
“So am I. What’s this about, Bailey?” Holy shit, maybe she didn’t want to date him. “You don’t want to date me?”
“What? No. God, that’s not it at all. Just what will people say when they see us together?”
“Who gives a fuck?”
“Gonzo come on.”
“Bay, the people who matter already know I’m crazy about you. The ones who don’t will quickly realize it and can get on board or they can fuck off.”
“And when some sexy girl, who looks like the women you normally go home with, hits on you in a bar?”
Annoyed at the implication, he clenched his jaw. “Then I’ll tell her I’m taken.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, and the annoyance became anger. “What are you implying, Bailey?”
“I don’t know, I just—”
“Bay, am I the type of asshole who would cheat on a woman? Is that really who you think I am?”
“No,” she admitted.
“I wouldn’t have crossed this line with you if I wasn’t serious about us,” he growled. How could she even suggest he’d be the type of asshole who would purposefully hurt her?
“I know that.”
“So then, what’s the problem? Will I get hit on? Probably. But how’s it any different from Pete or Smitty or whomever getting hit on?”
She ducked her head again and shrugged.
He tucked his finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “Bay, I’m crazy about you, always have been. I’m not looking at other girls anymore.”
Bailey smiled sadly. “I want to be the girl you see.”
“You are. You just need to believe it when you look at her, too.” Where did she get these ideas that she wasn’t everything he wanted? It sure as hell wasn’t coming from him. “Come here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the mirror in the front entryway. He placed her in front of the mirror and stepped up behind her. “Tell me what you see.”
She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, then adjusted the hem of her shirt.
“Umm, I see me.”
He sighed. “You want to know what I see?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek, then finally nodded.
“I see my best friend. The most selfless person I know. Someone who’d be there for me no matter what.” He bit back a smirk when she frowned a little because he wasn’t saying anything about what she actually looked like. He ran his hand down her side. “I also see a woman with a beautiful face.” He kissed the side of her neck. “Tits that I could spend all day worshipping.” He kissed just below her ear. “And the sexiest curves I’ve ever felt.”
Bailey tensed at the mention of her curves. “But Bay, until you love yourself it doesn’t matter what I say because the only voice you’re gonna hear is that negative one telling you that you’re not good enough. I don’t know how to compete with that.” He squeezed her hip reassuringly. “What happened to the fierce girl I grew up with who said fuck ‘em all?”
“I don’t know. But I want to find her,” she whispered.
“Well, let’s find her together.”
Bailey’s eyes met his in the mirror and she nodded.
“And until then, we both know I’ve got enough confidence for both of us.” He winked at her and she snorted like he knew she would.
Bailey held his stare for several seconds. Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. “I want to see where this can go,” she admitted.
“Good, me too.”
“I’m just scared. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Fuck, me neither. This scares the shit outta me, too. But I’m in. Are you?”
She licked her lips, squared her shoulders, and nodded. “I’m in.”
With a whoop, he grabbed her and hoisted her over his shoulder, firefighter style. Bailey squealed. “What are you doing?”
“We’re getting dressed and I’m taking you out for breakfast.” He carried her down the hall toward the bedrooms.
“But you were going to make me French toast.”
“Nope, we’re going out. We’re not hiding, Bailey, so get on board.”
“You’re ridiculous,” she complained.
“Yep, but that’s one of the things you love about me. Don’t even try to pretend it isn’t.”
“You caught me. That’s what I love about you,” she teased back.
His chest caught at the word love slipping from her mouth. Sure she’d said it before but it felt different now that they’d had sex. It shocked him how much he liked it. It was way too soon for that shit. Shaking it off, he set her on the ground outside her bedroom. Pressed a kiss against her mouth and said, “We leave in fifteen.”
Bailey cupped the side of his face and smiled. “I’ll be ready.”
“I’m counting on it.”