Chapter 26
Kemah
Hodge came home the other night and fucked me senseless. He wasn’t the same as the night he killed my parents; he was different. He said he was just happy it was all over with, and I wouldn’t ever have to worry about any of them again.
“This was a great night,” I tell him as we walk back to the truck. He made me get dressed up in a fucking dress of all things so that we could go out to a nice dinner. It was the perfect night. We talked, we laughed, we made out like teenagers.
“It ain’t over yet, darlin’.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s more to go.”
“What else are we doing?” I ask him while smiling the whole time. Hodge opens the truck door and ushers me in, and I watch as he walks around to get in.
“A little surprise is all.”
“A little surprise? I thought you dressing up was the surprise.”
“Fuck no. That was me takin’ my girl out for her birthday. I can be a gentleman.”
“I know you can. You look great, by the way,” I tell him, causing him to smile.
“I can’t wait to lift that dress and eat your pussy for at least half the night tonight,” he adds.
“Thank you, Hodge.”
“For what?”
“Everything you do for me. For reminding me I’m a person and that someone can actually care about me. It’s strange and new, but I love it.”
“That’s good, baby, because I love you.”
“Wha … what?”
“You heard me. I love you.”
“It’s so soon.”
“Doesn’t matter. I know what I feel. I know what matters to me, and that’s you. I’m never lettin’ you go, Kemah, you have to know that by now.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. There’s nothin’ that needs to be said. I needed you to hear that, to know that. I know I’ve been an ass at times, but I mean it, I love you.”
“Hodge, I love you too,” I tell him as tears leak down my cheeks. Hodge smiles and pulls out of the restaurant and takes us back to the clubhouse. I see a ton of cars, trucks, and bikes when we pull up, and I glance over at Hodge.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” he answers as he pulls up and parks the truck. We both climb out when he walks around and puts his arm around me. We walk side by side into the clubhouse when everyone screams, “Surprise!”
“What the hell?” I ask, looking over at Hodge.
“It’s all for you, baby. You deserve to celebrate every fuckin’ year of your life. Especially after what you lived through.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I tell him as the tears keep falling.
I’ve never had this. I’ve never had anyone care about me like this, and now I have him and the others.
I have the family I’ve always dreamed of having but never had.
I turn to look back over at everyone when Hodge releases me.
When I turn back, he’s on one knee next to me, holding a small box with the biggest diamond I’ve ever seen inside.
“Hodge.”
“No, just listen, Kemah. We’ve both lived through shit neither of us should have had to.
We’ve dealt with things that not many would and we came out stronger.
The only way for me to survive this world is with you, Kemah.
You brought me back to life and gave me a fuckin’ purpose to be here on this earth.
Without you, I’m nothin’. I would have let myself go, Kemah.
I wouldn’t have stayed,” he tells me, and I know exactly what he’s talking about.
That day in the ambulance. The day I thought he was going to die on the way to the hospital.
“Hodge,” I whisper.
“It’s not easy. It’s not gonna be easy. I’m still me, and I still do the things I do, but, baby, I want you here with me for every step I take.
I want you to hold my fuckin’ hand when shit gets hard.
I want you to come to me when you don’t think you can go on.
This is us, Kemah. This is all I’ve ever wanted in my life, and now it’s here, and I don’t plan on lettin’ you go.
So you can say no. You can tell me it’s too fast and that you aren’t ready, but this ring?
It’ll still be here. It’s not goin’ anywhere and neither am I.
” Love fills my chest as I look down at him.
Hodge is right. Without him, I’d be nothing either.
I would be lost, dead, or used and abused. He’s everything to me.
“You said what you needed to say. Now it’s my turn,” I tell him.
He smiles and nods his head before I start.
“I was lost, not knowing where to go. I did what I had to do to survive, and that’s all I was doing.
Surviving. I wasn’t living. I never was until you.
Something about seeing you lying there hurt me.
Because I saw the love, the caring, the way you wanted to live, even if you didn’t see it yourself, you brought me back from a place I wasn’t sure I could come back from, Hodge.
And I need you. I need you to keep me grounded and to keep me going. So … yes, I will marry you.”
Everyone around us screams and claps for us. Hodge stands, sliding the ring on my finger before pulling me into his arms and kissing me. I hug him, holding him closely.
“Is it over?” I whisper in his ear.
“He’s payin’ for what he did to you. Give it a few days, and it’ll be over.”
“A few days?”
“He needs to know what it felt like for you, Kemah.”
“I love you, Hodge.”
“I know, baby. I love you, too.”