Chapter 4
“Close your eyes and feel the magic. Never leave when you need me. I’ll do you just like daddy.”
Back to present day…
As I rode on the school bus I snapped back into reality.
Jah’s party was probably one of the last times I'd had real fun. I really had a blast that day. But at that moment I was back in that day’s madness.
Le-Le was still going on and on about that damn boy.
Hell, I couldn't even remember his name. All I could think about was my bed. For a while, I’d been so tired and my back was always killing me.
My daddy had gotten locked up two weeks after Jah’s birthday, but surprise!
I was still living with Red. He only had to do six months in state jail, anyway.
Now that I think about it, my daddy wasn't all that bad. Hell, he was better than sorry ass Tisha. She had the nerve to expect a child support check, even though I was living with my daddy. That broad was crazy. She tried to convince me to come home, but I felt that it was all for the wrong reasons. She wanted Ray-Ray’s money.
Then she was still living with Curtis’s old crusty ass.
I already knew the deal. My mama was selfish.
Tisha knew she was fine, but swears that a younger attractive man couldn’t treat her like her old sugar daddy could.
Yep, she was very selfish, but had beauty out of this world.
I guess that’s why Ray-Ray used to be crazy over her.
Quiet as kept, they still messed around from time to time.
My parents were definitely a hot mess, but Tisha still took the cake.
She knew damn well that I wasn’t coming back, and deep down I don’t think she cared.
Boy, my back was killing me. I was having some major cramps.
Finally, the bus was in front of my house. I could barely stand, because my back was hurting so badly. So, I took my time. Man, when I reached the door I was already out of breath.
I had to unlock the door, because I’m always the first to make it home. Red was still at work. Jalero walked home from school, and always took his sweet time getting here. Jahrein was a senior in high school, and basically came in whenever he wanted to.
I knew that Jah was still fucking with other girls despite what he promised.
They called, and I’d caught him hanging with a few.
Each time we fought. It’s wasn't much I could do about the calls without looking suspicious while in front of Red.
Still, I couldn't talk to nobody else, cause his bitch ass showed up to my school, screened all my calls, made sure that I came directly home from school, and sometimes even smelled my kitty when he walked through the door.
Shell kept telling me that I was crazy. She claimed that she would never let any boy run her like Jahrein did me.
I lost count of all the guys that wanted to talk to me, but I was stuck on him.
Really, I didn't have much of a choice, anyway.
She'd tried to introduce me to a few other boys. That didn’t roll over well, though.
Each time Jahrein somehow ended up in a verbal or physical altercation with the niggas.
I was to the point where I didn't even waste my time trying to entertain the thought of messing with another boy. It’s impossible.
Seemingly out of nowhere, I felt like I was pissing on myself.
So, I ran to the bathroom in pain. The piss was just running down my pants legs and I had no control over it.
I tried to pull down my jeans, but then a sharp pain ripped through me.
The pain momentarily took away my breath. It was damn near blinding.
I struggled to sit on the toilet. Fighting through the pain I pulled down my jeans and panties. Minutes later, it felt like something was ripping me apart again. I didn't know what was going on. My life had to be coming to an end.
I let out a loud scream then I heard, “Raven, what’s wrong?” Red asked me as she stuck her head in the bathroom. I was so glad that she had come home early.
“I don’t know. It just hurts so bad.” I cried. At that point I knew that I was about to die.
“Oh God, let me call 911.” she ran for the phone.
I tried to stand up, but another wave of pain knocked me back down. “Oww.” I cried.
Red walked into the bathroom, speaking with a dispatcher. “Raven, tell me exactly what happened.” she instructed.
I went on to explain how the piss started coming out by itself and everything.
“Oh my God! Oh my God. I think this girl is in labor!” she screamed into the phone.
“In labor?” I repeated. This broad had to be crazy cause aint no way in hell was there a baby up in me.
“Yeah, just try to relax, Raven. The paramedics are on their way. Just breathe.”
I didn’t know why she was telling me that shit like one of those people in those movies. I was not pregnant! My stomach was just as flat as ever.
The damn paramedics arrived and came into the restroom where I was now lying on the floor. My legs were spread apart, but I didn’t have any shame. I just wanted the pain to stop.
“She’s crowning.” the young white paramedic announced.
Crowning? I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.
“Okay, Raven, we need you to push for us.” he instructed. I still thought that they were all crazy, but I was willing to do anything at that point to make the pain go away. So, I pushed.
“What’s wrong with her?” I heard Jahrein’s voice ask in the hallway.
“She’s having a baby.” Red mumbled.
“A baby?” he repeated. I could detect the fear in his voice.
“Yeah, a baby.” Red snapped, clearly agitated.
“Push!” the paramedic demanded.
I pushed with all my might.
“It’s a boy! Now, come on, Raven, push one more time for me.” and just like that I pushed. Out came this little being. For a few seconds everything was on mute. A baby had just been removed from my body. It was like I was in some parallel universe.
Finally, the baby’s cries brought me back to earth.
My baby, no, our baby was wailing. I watched Jahrein stand in the doorway with his mouth wide open as the paramedic held the baby.
He probably was thinking the same thing that I was thinking.
Is this some kind of dream? I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but I knew that we were definitely in trouble now.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I was sitting in the hospital bed scared as hell.
My baby was in NICU. Really, I was still coming to terms with the fact that I had a child.
He was born at exactly three pounds and was expected to get better.
His lungs were a little weak, but other than that he was fine.
Jahrein was asking the doctor a million questions about the baby.
Everybody had to keep telling him that the baby would be okay.
Me, I was scared shitless about telling everyone that I’d been having sex with Jahrein, and that he was the baby’s daddy.
And it seemed that Jahrein didn’t give a damn as he paced back and forth, worried sick about our baby’s health.
Red had to call my mama and she brought her raggedy ass up there.
Then she demanded to know who got me pregnant, right along with Red.
I told them that I didn’t know. Tisha was blaming Red and my daddy for this, and that made me feel guilty.
Eventually, she took her trifling ass home, but not before causing a scene.
Security had to actually escort her off the premises.
I could tell that the situation was stressing Red out.
My daddy had trusted her to look after me, and then this happens.
I was petrified about telling the truth.
I didn’t know what Red’s reaction would be.
And I knew that after I’d tell her, she’d tell Ray-Ray.
I could just imagine him strangling the life out of Jahrein when he gets released from jail.
Still, it had to be done, so I asked to talk to Red alone.
So, Shell, Jalero, my cousin Trinity, Misha, and my grandma Momo left the room.
Jahrein was still lingering around. I gave him a look.
“What?”
“I need to talk to Red, alone.”
“For what?” he wanted to know.
“Jahrein, get out, boy!” Red exclaimed. Finally, he left the room. “I don’t know what’s been going through his head lately. He’s acting fucking crazy when I already got this shit to deal with.” She fumed.
I could tell that she was beyond stressed, and it caused butterflies to brew in my stomach. “Red, I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
She took a deep breath and then stared down at me. “Raven, the damage is done. You can tell me anything.”
“Well…the only person that I’ve ever had sex with is…Jah.”
“Jahrein? My son?” she asked as she pointed at herself.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“I mean, how? When?” She asked with the saddest look on her face.
“I had to get pregnant like the first time we did it, because they say that I was around six or seven months and that’s exactly how long I’ve been staying with y’all.”
“So, Jah took your virginity?”
“Yes.”
For a few seconds she placed her face in her palms and breathed loudly, as she shook her head.
I could tell that she was holding back tears.
“What the fuck was y’all thinking?! Do you know what Ray-Ray is going to do to y’all?
” she ranted as she paced the floor. “Just hold up.” she halted, before leaving the room.
My mind was racing as I thought about what was about to go down.
Minutes later she came back with Jahrein. I stared at him, trying to imagine what had to be going through his mind.
She took a deep breath, as they both stood at my bedside. “Raven just told me some far out shit. Now, I’m hoping that you can help me to understand this shit. And please do not lie to me. I’m only going to ask you once…Is that your baby?”
He looked at me then at her. He swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am.” he nodded slowly.