Chapter 16 #2
“On the cool, I fucks with you, girl. A nigga been having his eyes on the prize for a minute.
I sat back and watched you blossom. In all these years I aint never heard about you being out here on no reckless shit.
You held it down for that nigga. He just wasn't smart enough to realize that loyalty wasn't that easy to come by.
You was never the ordinary bitch walking down the street, and he was supposed to carry you like that.
Me...I aint no angel. I won't bullshit you like that, but I know what I want.
And if I had you in my life permanently I wouldn't see those bitches. Tunnel vision like a muthafuka.”
“Okay.” I said not really knowing what to say after that.
“I feel that you are worth a fight. I don’t invest my time with just anybody. That shit is non-refundable and no amount of money can give it back. I want you. Not as just my lover or my friend. I need you to be my woman.”
“Uh, don’t do this to me.” I laughed. “Let’s just enjoy each other for now.”
“A’ight, but you’re crazy if you think that you won’t be mine.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“Daddy, I want you to come with us.” Jahrein Junior whined.
I was sitting back observing the children play with Jahrein. We’d met at Red’s and they were overjoyed to see him.
“Daddy is going to take y’all home.” Jahrein told Junior. I started to tell him off, but I didn’t want to come off as the bad guy.
Jahrein had been throwing me some glares, but I tried to ignore them. I was tired of being made to feel like the villain. I was the one breaking up our family. Wasn’t that a crock of bullshit?
I was tired and just wanted to take a nap, but I couldn’t since Ray-Ray’s ass had left. I didn’t trust Jahrein with the kids. He could try to leave with them and I couldn’t chance that.
After an hour I began dozing off, anyway. I guess that’s when Jahrein got to questioning the kids about my male friends.
“Bitch, wake up!” Jahrein gritted as he sat on top of me with his hands wrapped around my neck. “You been having that nigga around my kids!” he yelled sounding like he was hyperventilating.
I couldn’t answer because he was crushing my wind pipe. I was trying to fight him off with all of my might.
“You’s a bold bitch, huh? Talk that shit.” he growled.
“Let. Me. Go.” I struggled to get out as I tried to pry his hands from my neck.
“Shut up!” he shouted as he slapped me repeatedly.
“Get off of her!” Red yelled as she tried to pull him off of me.
“Move mama. I gots this.” he yelled.
“Jahrein, don’t make me call the police on your ass.” Red threatened. Finally he released me.
I was coughing while trying to catch my breath.
“Bitch, you better thank God that my mama saved your trashy ass.” Jahrein spat.
I peered around and realized that the kids were nowhere in sight. I frantically searched the room with my eyes. “Jahrein Junior! Jhyrah!” I shouted. They didn’t answer, so I struggled to my feet and ran out the front door only to find that they weren’t out there, either.
“Where are my kids?” I asked Jahrein as I ran back in the house.
“They gone, bitch. I got somebody to take them home while you were sleep.” Jahrein seethed. He caught me slipping. Those Xanax pills really took me off note.
“Jahrein, don’t do this. Just let me have my kids. That’s all I want.” I cried. I was tired of playing games with the kids. As much as I liked having freedom I couldn’t be apart from them in good conscience.
“You think I don’t want my kids too? Is it okay for you to keep them from me for a whole month?
You kept them away so that you could fuck with that nigga.
You aint putting them first. My kids hate when he comes over there.
So, they aint gotta be there when he comes no more.
” Jahrein said as he tried to exit the door.
“You not leaving like this!” I screamed as I tried to pull his arm.
“Let me go!” he yelled as he yanked his arm away so hard that it made me lose my balance.
I quickly recovered and followed him outside. “Jahrein, I’m coming for my kids!”
He turned around. “And when you do my mama won’t be there to save you.”
“Why are you doing this to me?” I wept.
“Why are you doing this to me?! You fucking with this nigga after all the shit that has went down between us. How you think that makes me feel? You don’t think I’m hurting?” he asked with so much pain in his voice that I could barely stomach it.
“Jahrein, I don’t know why you can’t let go. It’s really over between us. You have a whole human being to take care of. I don’t want no parts of him. I don’t even want my kids around him, even though I can’t control that. You can’t be with a person that can’t accept your own flesh and blood.”
“Why can’t you just be with me? I don’t want that broad!” he beat his chest.
“It’s not even about her. I can’t deal with the baby, either.”
“Okay, so I’ll keep him away from you. I’ll send his mama money through the mail. I won’t have any contact with them.” he suggested.
As fucked up as it sounded I liked that idea. Still, there was too much going on and not enough answers for me to go back just then.
“Jahrein, just give me some time to think.”
“How much time?” he wanted to know.
“Just a little while. But I want my kids now.”
“You can come see them whenever you want, but they aint going back around that nigga.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“Hey, Raven this is Khalil. I was just calling to say what’s up. Hit me when you can.”
“This Khalil, again. I was trying to see what’s up. A nigga miss you.”
“Okay, Raven I know you got my messages. Call me.”
“Damn, Raven it’s like that? I can’t get a call?”
“So, you avoiding me now, huh? It’s all good.”
“If you don’t want to fuck with a nigga just let me know! No need to play little girls’ games!”
“I guess the homies was right. You just want to play games with a nigga, huh? It’s all good.”
“Okay, I was tripping. You just make sure that your fine ass give me a call.”
“Hey, this Khalil again. I know that I’ve been tripping. I know that you have a lot on your plate right now. Just call me when you can.”
“Raven, baby, I have some Beyonce tickets. I know you want to go.”
“Okay, Raven you win. I won’t put any pressure on you. Just give me a minute of your time.”
“Raven just call me.”
I sat and listened to my voicemail. Khalil was relentless.
I hadn’t answered any of his calls in over a week.
I’d taken people’s advice and took some time to think things through.
I knew that I was still very much in love with Jahrein.
I just didn’t know how we could recover from the blow.
I tried to busy myself with school work and my children.
I decided that it was best that they remained at our home instead of my apartment.
It had gotten to the point where I barely even stepped foot in that apartment.
I spent most nights at our home. My kids seemed to behave better with that change.
My staying at the house was just complicating things between me and Jahrein.
He’d argue with me every night because I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with him.
I wasn’t completely sure of what I was going to do, so I didn’t want to send him mixed signals.
He took that as me trying to remain faithful to Khalil.
I wasn’t committed to Khalil, but I wasn’t going to explain that to Jahrein. I liked seeing him sweat.