Chapter 3
Damien
The Next Day
‘Hold On’ – Chord Overstreet
Time has finally stopped. The voices have quieted down to only a whisper as they wade on the surface of my mind.
I can hear her again. Ashia. She’s here.
I saw her. I was finally worthy of viewing her perfect face.
I want to believe it’s real so badly that I refuse to move.
What if I try to steal another glance too quickly?
What if she fades away because I was too greedy?
Her hands felt like heaven. My skin still tingles from her caress, and I can feel her essence course through my veins. She’s trying to heal me.
It’s not as cold anymore. The table feels warm and soft now, like I was laid upon the clouds as a reward.
Gentle, warm touches swipe against my face and chest, and it’s relieving.
The angels are attempting to wash my sins away so I can appear as ethereal as my wife.
It’s like they’re preparing me for our forever, and I’ve never been more ready.
I can still feel and smell her, like she’s right next to me.
She promised she wouldn’t leave. I believe her.
Her aura surrounds me like a protective shield, and it makes every breath easier.
My hand is pressed against something warm and firm, yet it feels unsteady with little waves and rolls.
It’s soothing, somehow, like I’m floating on the ocean’s surface.
My nerves pulse with every faint movement, and I find myself desperate for another beat.
There are a lot of voices nearby, but they’re all familiar.
I know I recognize them. Even as the demons try to claw their way back in, they don’t prevail.
It’s like those surrounding me are hovering, though.
I don’t know where they’re coming from. A part of me wants to try and open my eyes just so I can pinpoint them, but then the fear tries to break the surface.
It’ll all go away if I peek. If I seek out the things that weren’t given to me, they’ll take it all away before I have the chance to grasp them.
I saw Zeke and Carter as well. Maybe that means I’ll see Alex, too, if I listen.
Would I be so fortunate enough to see them all?
Maybe they’ll even let me see my mom and—
Dad.
I can’t see him again. He wasn’t with Emma.
I didn’t see her either when I opened my eyes.
Her voice is gone, too. Where did I come to?
Where have they taken me? I never left…did I?
This is a test. I’ll fail. All of the good feelings start to fade, and I gasp, trying to take in her vanilla aura as much as I can.
I want to drown in it. When the chlorine inevitably floods my mouth, I want it to be coated in her spirit.
The heated feeling across my body turns into a sharp sting the moment I think of my father again.
The angels wipe in the wrong spot, and all of the pain comes back.
My body starts to prickle with goosebumps, and the warmth starts to fade.
A cold wave ascends and crashes upon me, causing me to shutter.
I press my hand into the soft ripples a little more, trying to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible.
It can’t go away. I earned it. This couldn’t have all been a tease.
Unworthy…
No. Go away.
Traitor…
Where is she? She’ll make them go away…
She promised she wouldn’t leave. I heard her.
Sinful…
My stomach starts to heat up, and I can feel the bile trying to rise in my throat.
The cloud I’m on has sucked me in and I can’t move again.
A ghost of a touch moves across my forehead, and the moment I can feel my hair move from my face, I try to jerk away.
I don’t want the water. If I can’t breathe, I can’t smell her. Please. I don’t want it again.
I feel like I’m being thrown as I’m rolled over. The motion only forces the acid further, and I gag. It burns. My throat is being torn to shreds as the demons claw their way up.
“It’s okay, baby. Let it out.”
I gasp as I hear her again, which only makes me gag a second time.
Even as my stomach screams to stop, I unwillingly retch again.
Nails rake their way through my matted hair, and the sting sends electricity through my back, eliciting even more pain.
I can feel the burns on my shoulders, and my muscles tense as the shocks return.
The prod isn’t at full force this time, but I can still feel it.
My body seizes, and I shake as I try to call out for her, willing to beg if she’ll just make it go away.
“I’m right here. Don’t worry. I’m right beside you.”
She speaks again, and as I start to dry heave, the warmth starts to come back.
Her caress finds my cheek, but I flinch the moment I feel a drop of water against my chin.
I try to thrash, not wanting it to taint her, but then soft hushes soothe me.
My body continues to twitch and quake, but my strength starts to waver.
The water doesn’t smell as harsh, and as a soft fabric grazes my lips, I smell her again.
I take desperate breaths, needing to absorb the scent.
The burning in my stomach starts to fade, and a larger heat drapes over me again.
Weak…
They come through again, and my spine tingles. She’s fighting them, but she doesn’t know how strong they are. She doesn’t know what I’ve done. Will she still wage a war with these demons after she learns of my sins? Will she still view me as worthy when she sees how far I’ve fallen?
“You’re so strong, Damien. You’re doing great.”
Liar…
Don’t call her that.
Unholy…
I know I am.
Soft lips press against my forehead, and I try to reach out for her, but I’m unable to move.
I can still faintly feel my palm against her and the soft ripples underneath.
It’s not enough. I need her against me. She needs to sink into the warmth with me.
I want her to hold me. Her touch pulls away, and I think I might die.
My stomach flips again, and it takes the air from me, making it hard to breathe.
Pain radiates through my lungs and then they explode with a gust of air.
Plastic covers my mouth and nose, and immediately, warnings sound out in my mind.
Not the mask.
Please, not the mask.
I take it back.
I’ll take the water.
Feccia…
I lash out, desperate to fight them off, but the restraints are almost instantly forced back in place, and my heart starts to race. My eyes pry themselves open, and I’m met with nothing but blonde locks and blue eyes.
Serena?
“It’s okay, Damien! Breathe! I need you to breathe now,” she instructs me.
I want to try, but I know the mask won’t let me.
The anticipation of that pain again won’t allow me to.
I fight against it, desperate to avoid the agony another time, but my lungs begin to burn more intensely.
The room starts to spin, and as Serena tilts with it, her voice starts to fade in and out.
She tears her gaze away, and I almost miss the worry on her face.
“Ashia, don’t!” Serena yells through the void, and warmth on both sides of my cheeks brings the roller coaster to a halt.
As my eyes focus again, I see nothing but gold.
My amber beacons are staring down at me.
She’s upside down, though, like we’re back on different planes of existence.
“It’s okay, baby. I need you to breathe now, okay?
Take a deep breath with me.” She inhales dramatically, and even though I’m terrified to feel the pain again, I do just as she asks—unwilling to defy her.
The air rushes in, but it’s not as painful as last time.
My lungs take their fill, then they tick, and I can’t help but cough and sputter into the mask.
It hurts. It all fucking hurts. “That’s great!
Do it again,” she demands, and I comply without question.
They fill a little easier this time, and when I let it all out, it flows even smoother.
Tears trail down her face, but there’s a relief there that soothes the sting.
Sting.
I don’t want any more…
Wicked…
The room starts to spin again, and the edges of my vision start to fade.
“Just go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right here. I promise. Close your eyes.” Her touch starts to fade with the rest of the room, and as her golden irises sway, only her sweet scent remains.