29. Shattered
Chapter twenty-nine
Shattered
T en minutes was an ambitious estimate.
“I thought you were sure, babe,” JP teased as he pulled his finger out of my ass a few minutes later.
I whimpered miserably. “I am . I just…”
“You need to relax.” He kissed my nipple, still holding me close.
“I’m trying.”
And I had been. I’d been trying from the second he traced his fingers down to my pussy and realized just how sure I was. Which hadn’t been hard when he’d dipped his finger inside my pussy to collect some of the wetness there and used it to work the tip of his finger into my ass, slipping it past the tight ring of muscle and inside me.
But once it was more than just the tip of his finger, I’d tensed up.
“I have a bunch of lube, you know,” I said. “Maybe that would help.”
“It will,” he agreed. “But it’ll work a lot better if you can relax a little more first.”
Again, I tried focusing on loosening my muscles, but my body didn’t want to cooperate. A frustrated noise escaped my lips and JP’s other hand made a soft circle on my lower back.
“You’re sure you want this?” he asked.
“I do ,” I muttered. “I just… I don’t have many ‘firsts’ left and this is one of them. So I’m… nervous. I guess.”
He placed a kiss on the side of my breast. “This coming from the girl who impaled herself on my cock before mentioning she was a virgin?”
“This coming from a girl who’s gotten a lot smarter since then.”
I felt him smile as he kissed between my breasts before looking up at me. “Look, it’s probably obvious I’m an ass guy.”
"You have always been an ass."
He smirked. “I’ve wanted to try this basically since discovering it was a thing. But I also don’t do serious and I’d say most people want to do it with someone they’re going to be with seriously for a while. I’ve learned a little more since the first time I tried it with someone and if you’re willing to trust me, I think I can help you relax.”
If I was willing to trust him. As if I didn’t trust him completely already.
“Okay.”
He pulled me onto the bed with him, kissing me before directing me onto my stomach. I stopped only to reach over to the nightstand and grab the lube I’d bought to prepare for that night. Before standing to remove his clothes, JP grabbed a pillow and tucked it beneath my stomach, propping my ass up in the air, then slid off the bed.
I craned my neck to watch him undress. When he caught me looking, he grinned, slowing down the unbuttoning of his shirt.
“You can tip after the show,” he teased, shrugging the shirt off his shoulders.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I need something to watch while you get yourself organized and it’s either you or the headboard.”
He unbuckled his belt. “I’m better than the headboard? Careful, Nellie. I might start to think you actually like me.”
“Yeah, well… you might have your moments.”
His eyes lingered on mine for a second too long after I said that, but a moment later he was fully naked and neither of us addressed it.
He crawled onto the bed, bringing himself alongside me. Warm lips pressed to mine, his kiss weaving itself through my bones and curling around my entire body. After stealing my breath, his mouth left mine, moving first to my neck and then to my shoulder.
“You trust me?” he asked again.
“Only God knows why, but yes,” I replied.
His chuckle vibrated against my skin and he shifted, moving behind me. I turned my head, but I couldn’t really see him. I could feel him, though; his hands were on my back, tickling their way down my spine until he was touching my ass again. Then his lips followed, tracing the same path, his breath warm on the back of my neck and his tongue flicking out to trace the occasional lazy pattern along my skin.
I expected him to stop kissing me once he reached my ass, but he didn’t. The first few kisses were just against the swell of my ass, but when his tongue finally dipped between my cheeks, my eyes widened and I gasped. His hands slid beneath my hips and pulled me up from the pillow.
“JP?” I whispered.
“You’re gonna like it, babe,” came the muffled reply.
And if the heat in my core was any indication, he was absolutely right.
“Okay,” I said.
He groaned, and a moment later, he licked my ass.
He licked my ass .
I didn’t relax immediately. Tension clutched at me, though it wasn’t from fear or nerves or anything; it was like my body knew what was about to happen and tried to preemptively prepare itself. But JP’s tongue circled my hole and he slipped a finger into my pussy, making me moan and relax into him.
“ Mmm ,” I heard from behind me, and his face pressed against me harder.
I moaned, my pussy clenching around his finger, and he made another noise of approval before licking even more enthusiastically.
And just… fuck .
Between the pillow and his hand, I barely had to support myself, yet I still felt like I was going to collapse, maybe through the mattress and floor and crust of the earth itself. I’d never expected something like that to feel so intense, but every sensation in my body was stemming from where his tongue swirled against me.
He was eager at the same time he seemed to relish me with every lick. Maybe it was that, more than anything, that made my body shake and my stomach tighten and my legs tremble. Just the knowledge that JP Marchand was licking my ass and loving every second of it—
“JP,” I gasped after way less time than seemed reasonable, and some deep-seated instinct made me struggle to prop myself up on my elbows like I knew I was going to need the extra support. “JP, I’m c-c-clo— ahhh .”
He wouldn’t let me finish the word. Or at least, I was blaming him for it. Because as soon as I started trying to tell him I was close, he slipped another finger in my pussy and buried his face even harder against me. A moment after that, his tongue stopped lapping around the outside of my hole and dipped inside me.
In-fucking- side me.
“God,” I choked, and he thrust it in harder or deeper or I don’t know, I couldn’t tell what the hell was happening because my eyes rolled back in my head. Or maybe I squeezed them shut. I had no fucking idea. My body was shaking and I clutched at my sheets, balling them in my fists as he tongue-fucked me, his fingers curling and stretching my pussy. My body was on fire as he kept licking, kept fingering, kept moaning against me until I wasn’t sure if I’d gone blind or if my eyes were closed or if that was just what the back of my skull actually looked like because I was coming so fucking hard .
The orgasm consumed me so much that I barely noticed when JP took his fingers out of my pussy. I collapsed against the pillow and wouldn’t have even registered the final kiss he planted on my ass except that it was lower than expected, right at the spot where my leg met my ass cheek. I was still trying to catch my breath when I heard him flip the cap of the lube open. I almost didn’t notice the finger coated with cool gel pushing into my ass and only tensed slightly when a second one joined it.
By the time I regained some sense of what was going on, JP was fingering my ass slowly, but deeply. I sighed, relaxed as I pushed back against his hand.
“You okay?” His voice was hardly recognizable, aside from the dripping, craving tone that underlined each word.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
“Think you’re ready?”
I didn’t hesitate, didn’t even think. “Yes.”
He pulled his fingers out and I whimpered, not because it hurt but because the loss of sensation was disappointing, even though I knew something better was on its way. Shifting, I craned my neck to look over my shoulder.
JP wasn’t looking back at me, preoccupied at that moment with pouring some of the lube into his hand. He was as hard as I’d ever seen anyone, his cock dripping with pre-cum. I licked my lips as he stroked himself, watching him spread the lube evenly along his length, and it was only when he paused that I glanced up and met his eye.
“You’re so hot,” he said.
“I know,” I said.
A smile flitted on his lips, but there was an uncharacteristic seriousness on his face as he moved his hand to my ass and caressed it.
“I’m serious,” he said. “Nellie, you… I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard before in my life. I want you so fucking bad right now.”
“Guess you better do something about it,” I replied, and shook my ass for emphasis.
His eyes were trained to the sight in front of him like what was there wasn’t real. “You’re sure? Really, really fucking sure?”
“Yes.”
“I’m gonna try to, you know… but it’s probably still gonna hurt a bit.”
“I know.”
He almost shuddered, patches of pink on his cheeks as he looked longingly at me. His throat flexed and he grabbed the lube again, adding a bit more to both my ass and his cock.
“You’ll tell me if it’s too much to handle?” he asked.
“I will.”
He apparently decided that I was as certain as I would ever be, and moments later my hips were lifted off the bed. I held myself up as he spread my ass cheeks, took a breath as soon as I felt his thick head pushing against my entrance, and willed my body to relax as he guided himself forward.
There was resistance. I couldn’t control that, no matter how hard I tried to relax, so JP pushed his cock steadily forward. I took a deep breath, relaxing into the intense sensation of pressure as I stretched around him. All I could think about was the feeling, the way that ring of muscle was inclined to protest its penetration and the way I was willing myself not to let it. Further he pushed, and further I stretched, and just when it was almost too much, the tip of his cock was completely in.
He stopped, letting me adjust even though I could hear him breathing heavily behind me and practically feel his desperation to just let go and start fucking me. I knew he could feel how tight I was; I could feel how tight I was, how the head of his cock was completely enveloped inside of me. He was forcing himself to be patient, probably struggling to hold back, telling himself he had to take it slow, he had to let me adjust.
At least, he was probably telling himself that until I started pushing back.
“Nellie?” My name was strangled, a groan that had twisted into a plea. “Babe, what—”
He choked, still frozen in place, though his fingers were digging into my hips as I shifted further back. I was hyper-aware of his length, and after pushing another inch inside me, I had to stop and take a gasping breath.
“Babe,” he gasped again. “Are you—”
“Yeah. I just need—” I sighed, content, then started moving again.
“Oh, fuck ,” he breathed.
“In a bit,” I said, almost surprised by how dreamy my voice sounded. “Need to get it in first.”
He couldn’t hold himself still any longer, though he managed to take it slow. It was almost a lean forward, a gentle pressure increasing as he pushed inside me, despite his hands simultaneously pulling me back onto him. It took some time but inch by inch, he filled me, and I felt all of it.
It was intense. It was the only way to describe it. I was so full, so intensely full, and when JP’s hips finally pressed against my ass cheeks and he was completely buried inside me, I whimpered.
“Holy fuck,” he gasped. “Nellie, I’m… holy fuck.”
“Yes,” I squeaked.
When he pulled out, I nearly came. It was hardly even an exaggeration; the feeling of his cock sliding back out of me was relieving in a way that was consuming, yet when only his tip remained inside me, I wanted more.
“Again,” I pleaded, and he made a noise that was barely recognizable as human.
“Can I go faster?” he asked after the next repetition.
“Thought you’d never ask,” I said. “More lube first.”
Another one of those strange, beautiful, deep sounds erupted from his throat. I couldn’t see him, but I could almost hear his hands shaking as he squeezed another dollop of lube onto his cock. The thick tip nudged my hole again and he thrust inside me, just a bit faster than before, and pulled back out. I couldn’t stop the high-pitched squeal that left my throat when he plunged inside me again, my eyes squeezing shut.
“Nellie?” he asked, half-groaning and half-concerned.
“Harder,” I whispered.
“What? But—”
“ Harder ,” I demanded.
“Babe—”
“God damn it JP, fuck my ass harder or I’ll do it my damn self!”
“Fine,” he said, and shoved his cock in.
And that was the last clear thing I remembered.
He fucked me hard. I knew that much, knew he was pounding my ass as hard as he’d ever pounded my pussy. He enjoyed every second of it, I knew that too. I knew each time he pushed his cock in me, I felt it, like my nerves were exploding from the sensation. I knew I felt full, achingly full, almost uncomfortably full, until he pulled back out and I craved it again, and again, and again.
My hand shook as I slipped it between my legs, fingering my clit as he took my ass. I cried out as I rubbed the swollen nub, my pussy soaking wet. After that, things melded together, a mixture of sensations and sounds and pleasure and gasping, breathless, amazing pressure.
There was a hazy moment where I realized I was going to come, and a clearer moment where I knew it was going to be like nothing I’d ever felt before. I pushed my fingers against my clit harder. Everything seemed to be happening with ten times more intensity than usual, and my legs started to shake hard enough that I thought they might break.
“Gonna come,” I squeaked.
“Yes,” he grunted, and I was almost surprised he’d heard me at all. “Come on. Come for me.”
I cried out, rubbing my clit harder, and my stomach tightened. He hunched forward, his hand slipping beneath me and batting mine out of the way so he could take over.
“You’re so convinced you're not a princess?” he breathed. “Then fucking prove it. Show me what my messy little slut looks like when she comes with a cock up her perfect ass.”
Oh, God. “Don't s-stop.”
His fingers moved faster and pleasure sparked beneath them, guiding me closer and closer to the edge. “You take it so good for me, baby. You're letting me wreck this ass so fucking good.”
Fuck . “JP–”
“Do it, Nell.” His arms jerked me closer. “Fucking shatter for me, princess.”
“Don’t s-stop,” I gasped, practically sobbing. “Don’t s-stop, please don’t stop, I’m gonna, I’m, I, I—”
My orgasm hit and I screamed his name.
Maybe.
I could have sworn his name was on my lips, could have sworn I tasted it, the sweetness of those letters filling my mouth as I did what he said and shattered on his cock. But it must have sounded like nonsense, like something that wasn’t even words, because I couldn’t imagine that JP would hear me literally scream his name and let me live a single moment without teasing me about it.
But I couldn’t help it. I lost control. I had never—fucking never —come like that and it was so heated, so overwhelming, so painfully all-encompassing that I couldn’t help myself.
I needed his name.
JP was almost right about ruining my makeup; if I hadn’t taken it off in the shower, mascara and eyeliner would have been dripping down my cheeks, not from pain but because I couldn’t even breathe. When I looked back on that moment, I never pictured what I actually saw—darkness and white light flashing in my eyes as I came, followed by a view of the blankets since my face was buried against the mattress—but what we must have looked like, what JP would have looked like with his cock buried inside me as I exploded in his arms.
He came at some point. I barely registered it happening, aside from thinking that the sound of him coming was one of my favourite sounds in the world, and the sudden feeling of him spilling inside me. I felt each spurt of cum inside me, felt it in a way that was almost better than feeling him come inside my pussy, and then JP was resting heavily against my back.
He stayed there for a moment before pulling out and collapsing beside me. His face was shining with sweat and his hair was matted against his forehead, but his eyes were closed and a smile of pure elation played on his lips.
“JP?” I murmured.
“Babe,” he breathed, and his eyes opened as he reached for me.
Luckily, our eyes met first.
Because oh, fuck.
There was something there.
“Nellie,” he whispered. “I—”
“Can you pass me the towel?”
He blinked. “Huh?”
“The…” I gestured towards the foot of the bed. “It’s, um… I need to clean up.”
He blinked again, then nodded. “Right. Yeah. Let me—”
He sat up, grabbing the towel I’d left on the floor so I could awkwardly shuffle to my bathroom and clean up. I took my time, hoping that when I returned, he’d have gotten dressed, but when I came back out wearing panties and a T-shirt, JP was lying on my bed with the sheet pulled over himself. His eyes were closed and one arm was tucked behind his neck.
“You’ve made yourself comfortable,” I said.
He chuckled, his eyes dragging themselves open and fixing on me.
“Come here,” he murmured.
Fuck.
He noticed me tense and sighed, a pained look on his face.
“Come on, Nellie,” he asked. “Just… come sit with me for a bit.”
“Is that a good idea?”
“Maybe not. But… please?”
It was the tone of his voice more than anything that made me even more certain I shouldn’t go to him, and at the same time, made me disregard that certainty and crawl beside him on the bed. The arm tucked behind his head curled around my shoulders and we both exhaled, almost relieved as our bodies touched.
When JP and I hooked up, it was supposed to be fun. We didn’t take things seriously, we laughed and teased each other, we fucked hard and fast and passionately.
But that night…
That couldn’t really be described as just fun.
It was fun in the way that was unexpected.
It was fun in the way that I came hard enough that I might have had a legitimate out-of-body experience.
It was fun in the way that I could see it happening again, in the way that I almost yearned to curl up against his body and rest with his arms around me.
But JP and I weren’t like that. It was one thing with Ben, but this…
This was comfortable.
This was content.
This was completely terrifying.
“This isn’t serious,” he whispered.
“Not at all,” I replied.
“You just feel nice.”
“It’s a biological reaction. Makes sex more satisfying.”
“Did Professor Sexy teach you that?”
“Yes, actually. After sex, while he was holding me.”
We both laughed, JP’s chest jostling my head, and it was only when he pulled me in to kiss me that we stopped. It lingered just a little too long, and both of us refused to acknowledge it. We refused to acknowledge the fact that I fell asleep against his chest, that he woke me up a few hours later when he got dressed to go back home, and that he kissed me again in the darkness of my room, softly and sweetly and so unlike JP that I thought I might have dreamt it.