Layla – Present
“How long are you going to be away for?”
Dad’s standing in the doorway, watching me pack some last minute items. I’ve already told him the answer seven times.
“Three days.”
“And Jacob is going?”
I pause and look up at him. “Yes.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I zip the suitcase closed and set it on the floor.
“Yes.”
He nods slowly, then disappears down the hallway. I hear his bedroom door click shut and know that’s as good of a goodbye as I’m going to get.
I haul my luggage down the last step, and then pull it behind me to Jacob’s truck. He gets out as soon as he sees me and helps me put it in his trailer.
“That’s all you brought with you?” I look at the one small duffle bag, dwarfed by my suitcase.
He pats my suitcase. “I think you brought enough for the both of us.”
“It’s three days,” I argue.
He smirks.
I get into his truck and turn on the music. Flicking through the stations before settling on a song that used to be popular when we were younger.
He taps his thumb along the steering wheel at the red light. I catch him looking over at me a few times, and when our eyes meet, we both smile.
He parks up outside the port.
I spot Amie and Parker waiting on the bridge with the rest of the wedding party.
Jacob lifts my suitcase with ease like I haven’t packed the entire contents of my room into it.
He sets his duffle bag on top, then starts pulling it toward the bridge.
I walk alongside him, my hand by my side, I glance toward his hand holding his jacket between us, and it’s hard not to remember what it used to feel like when he’d place it in mine.
Amie smothers those thoughts with a hug.
“I’m glad you invited him.”
“Amie, have you got the tickets?” Parker lugs two suitcases along the old wooden pier and comes up beside us.
“They’re in my purse, why?”
He gestures to the man standing behind a desk. “We need to show them to him.”
The line is already filling up, leaving little room to move. My back presses into Jacob. I turn and give him a ghost of a smile.
“Have you ever been to the Bahamas?” I lean my head back and ask him, trying to remember to breathe.
Three days. That’s all this is.
We’re friends, I remind myself, trying to shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach.
He leans his head down, his breath against my ear. “Never. Have you?”
I shake my head.
“I hear the weather’s supposed to be nice.”
I cringe as soon as the words leave my lips.
Amie throws a look at me over her shoulder, then shakes her head as she turns back around.
I’m glad Jacob’s standing behind me, I don’t want to see his face, and I don’t want him to see my red cheeks either.
“That’s good to know.” I swear I can hear his damn smirk.
“How long does the boat take, Amie?” I need to end this conversation before I embarrass myself any further.
“About three hours, I think.” Amie rests her head on Parker’s shoulder.
A few people push through the crowd going back toward the shore. I knock into Jacob again, and he places his hands near my hips to steady me. I try to ignore how good it feels when he touches me and instead look ahead to the man decked out in his cap and white shirt and trousers.
A step later, Amie hands him our information.
He looks at each of us.
“We’re getting married,” Amie gushes.
The man does this fake little smile and moves his hand, directing us onto the ship.
When we get on board, Amie and Parker head to the bar with the rest of the bridal party, while Jacob and I sit down beside the windows.
“Do you want a drink?” he asks.
“Soda, or something el–”
“Orange soda, please.”
His lip twitches like he’s about to smile.
He lifts his wallet from his jean pocket and waits by the bar.
Amie’s dad is popping champagne before we even leave the port.
I love how close her family are with one another.
I used to be jealous of it, having a family you could be yourself around, no airs or graces, just love and acceptance.
I’ve only really experienced that kind of honesty with a handful of people, and none of them are my family.
“Do you still not drink?” he hands me the soda.
“No.” I don’t tell him I held on to the promise we made to each other.
“Even in college?”
“Even in college.”
“What about Ben?”
“Sometimes. It depended on his games, really, he wouldn’t want to be training with a hangover,” I answer. “What about you?”
He shakes his head. “I kept my promise too.”
The boat starts to pull away from the port.
I watch out the window as Rockport drifts further away.
Three days.
This will be good for me. I know it will.
But there’s still something always lingering in the back of my mind, telling me I should feel guilty over starting to feel alive again.
And no matter how hard I try to shake it, I can’t.
I know Amie and Mabel are right. And I still remember what Clark told me the day we packed up my apartment.
I need to live, not just in my old memories with Ben, but actually live.
When I’m alone with Jacob, it feels so easy.
He makes me want to enjoy it all again. He makes me want to feel things again.
But then the guilt takes over. What if Ben is mad at me for feeling this way about another man? What if Clark was wrong and Ben would have preferred I isolate myself, reading my journals of our life together?
Amie’s colleague and bridesmaid, Nicole, takes a quick glance over the guests, her eyes darting back to Jacob before she leans into Parker and whispers something that makes his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.
He laughs, nods a few times, then turns away, his attention now taken by his best man and the beer he placed in front of him.
Nicole downs her cocktail, pats the corners of her red lips, and scoots elegantly off the bar stool. Her entire body sways as she saunters toward us, although I’m pretty certain she’s not considering me as part of the equation.
She flips her perfectly curled brunette locks over her shoulder and places a blue tipped French manicured hand on Jacob’s shoulder.
“Hi.” She smiles “I’m Nicole, Amie’s bridesmaid. Parker said you’re one of the guests?”
Jacob nods, then sets his drink down.
“What’s your name?” Her fake lashes graze her cheek as she sits next to him. Her hand moves down the length of his arm before she finally lifts it away. She’s making my attempt at flirting seem completely unredeemable.
“Jacob,” he answers, and my head snaps to his.
She does this doe eyed look and twirls a strand of her hair. “Jacob.” She repeats his name, then bites her bottom lip, and I look away.
Guess she didn’t come over here to talk about the weather.
I can’t deny the bitter taste of jealousy lodged in my throat. But then, just as quickly as the knot in my stomach starts, so does the all too familiar twinge of guilt. Jacob’s not mine to feel jealous over. He’s free to date whoever he wants.
And Nicole is beautiful. She’s curvy everywhere I’m not. She’s confident in ways I’m not sure I’ll ever be again. And more than that, she’s whole. She can give him what I can’t, and that’s exactly what Jacob deserves.
“Do you want to play with me?”
Her words cut through my thoughts. And damn, if I could turn off my warring feelings now, would be a great time. I look anywhere but at them, searching for some window to jump from, or perhaps a slightly tipsy bride I can escape to.
Nicole holds up a deck of playing cards and laughs.
Jacob glances to me.
Please leave me out of this.
“Do you know Layla?” He leans back, giving me a full view of Nicole, and I give her a little wave that I instantly regret. What the hell is wrong with me?
Nicole returns my gesture with a tight lipped smile and a look over my not so glamours outfit. I never thought of dressing up for a ferry, but now, looking at how much effort she’s put in, I wish I had.
“So, do you play?” She ignores me.
“Where are you from?” Jacob avoids her question with his own.
I stare between them, trying to remember what Jacob was like when he used to flirt with me. I tuck my hair behind my ears. He must be somewhat interested in her if he’s starting to ask questions.
She leans in closer to him. I feel my stomach tighten.
“I need to pee,” I announce, then cringe when they both look at me.
This is going to be one hell of a long weekend.
I rush off as quick as I can without looking like I’m fleeing from them, which is exactly what I’m doing.
With Amie busy entertaining her family, I head for the restroom. A splash of cold water later and I’m still not sure I want to show my face out there again.
What was I thinking asking Jacob to come?
I look at myself in the mirror and sigh. This is a good thing, I remind myself. Jacob will be happier with her. He’s my friend, and as his friend I should be happy he’s interested in someone he can have a real future with.
I press my palms to my eyes and groan.
I’m a terrible, terrible friend.
When a woman and her daughter walk in, I decide my time’s up.
I’ll sit by the bar and wait for the ferry to dock, it can’t be much longer.
Then I’ll avoid Jacob and Nicole. It’ll be easier to give them both space once we’re at the hotel.
Amie mentioned something about activities, I’ll just book the solo ones. It’ll be fine. I can manage three days.
I look up from the floor, and my eyes widen.
Jacob is leaning against the wall, holding up the deck of cards.
“Good,” he smirks, pushing off the wall. “You’ve stopped hiding from me.”
I open my mouth about to protest my innocence, when he shakes the cards again.
“Want to play?”
***
The cabin crew announce we’ve made port through the loudspeaker, and most of the other passengers start to gather up their things.
I place my hand down and Jacob curses.
“I thought you weren’t competitive, Jacob?”
“Where did you learn to play so well?”
I touch my nose with my finger and smirk.
It’s been a while, I’d almost forgotten how much I enjoyed playing.
When Ben was still at LSC, he used to host a poker night with his roommates, and his friend JJ all but made sure I could hold my own in a match.
We played for stupid things, usually who had the better room, which never overly concerned me, or even who controlled the TV, now that I did care about.
But it didn’t really matter what the stakes were, it was just fun. I loved those nights.
“Come on, you two, we’re here,” Amie slurs.
I grab my bag, and Jacob gathers up the cards, then hands them to Amie.
“What are these for?” Her brows knit together.
“They belong to your bridesmaid.”
“Which one?”
“The brunette.”
“Oh… Oh!” Her eyes widen and she starts to giggle. “I think she wanted to play more than a game of cards with you.” She winks at him, then giggles some more before looking at me. Her grin disappearing instantly.
She pats Jacob on the shoulder, then leans into his ear and whispers something to him. When she steps back, she gives me a look I’ve seen one too many times, enough to worry about what she just said to him. But before I can quiz her, she darts off to Parker.
At the end of the pier there are two coaches waiting for us. Amie wastes no time grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me to the back of the bus.
“I need to know what happened with Nicole?” Her eyes are doing this weird half open, half closed thing they always do when she’s been drinking.
“I think you need to sleep that off first.”
She waves off my concern.
“She likes Jacob, and she’s not a quitter. One rejection won’t stop her, trust me.” She widens her eyes. “She asked Parker if you were together. He told her no. Then she spends a few minutes with him, and he turns her down. Why don’t you explain that to me?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I wasn’t with them the entire time. I didn’t see what happened.”
“Why did you run away?”
“I didn’t run. I needed to pee.”
She laughs and wiggles her finger at me. “I see right through you.”
“Stop,” I tell her.
“You need to open your eyes. He’s right in front of you. He’s hot, and he’s only ever had eyes for you. You need to take that list I gave you and add ‘crazy wild Bahamas sex with Jacob’ right to the top of it.”
She laughs at herself. “Remember when you told me you were certain you’d marry him?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Yes. You. did.” She pokes her finger into my arm. “It was after he told you he loved you. In the house he now lives in.”
“He doesn’t live in the same house,” I mumble.
She raises her eyebrows. “Yes, he does.”
No. That can’t be.
I open my mouth about to argue my point, but snap it closed when she tucks her chin to her chest in her signature I told you so look.
He does.
He lives in that exact house, the one I visited him in so many times while he was working. The house he promised me we’d own something like, someday, the same day he told me he loved me.
Amie rests her head against the window, and I stare at the back of Jacob’s head a few seats down.
Why didn’t he tell me he bought that house?