Chapter 3
Michael
M y eyes locked on Grace’s , and I wondered for a second if the look on my face mirrored the shock on hers.
My shock quickly turned to anger, and I saw Grace’s eyes widen before she ducked out of sight.
Running on instinct, I surged out of my seat and headed for the door to the diner’s kitchen. I vaguely heard the server calling after me, but I didn’t so much as glance in her direction. Grace was here, within reach. If I had to search for her, or even chase her down, so be it. I wasn’t stopping until she was standing in front of me.
I pushed through the door, rounded the corner, and slammed to a stop. Grace hadn’t run. Instead, she was standing, seemingly frozen in place, staring at me warily from across the kitchen.
I stared back at her, momentarily lost for words. Of all the times I’d thought of finding Grace, all the many scenarios I’d imagined in my head, none of them had gone like this. She looked beautiful, as she always did, her light brown hair piled up on her head and her soft brown eyes wide on mine. For a second time stood still as I let it sink in that this was reality. Grace was really here.
The door burst open behind me as the server stormed through followed by my cousin, Levi, on her heels.
“You can’t be back here,” the server told me sharply. “You need to leave or I’m calling the police.”
Before I could respond, Grace spoke up, for some reason the sound of her quiet voice stoking my anger even higher.
“It’s okay, Vanessa. He won’t hurt me. We just need a minute, then he’ll go.”
Grace was both right and wrong. I’d never lay a hand on her to hurt her, but I wasn’t leaving until I got some answers. There was no way that was happening in a minute. I felt no need to apprise Vanessa of that, though.
Vanessa looked from Grace to me, then back. “You’re sure?”
Grace’s eyes met mine again, then she looked back at Vanessa. “I’m sure.”
Vanessa turned to leave and nearly ran into Levi. “What the...? Is this a party? You need to go, too.”
I was with Vanessa on this one, but Levi didn’t agree.
“Easy there. We’re on the same team. I have no idea what this is about; I’m just here to make sure we all come out of it in one piece.”
Apparently, Levi’s answer was enough. Vanessa pushed past him with a huff, not even bothering to respond, and I flipped my focus back to Grace.
I wanted to grab her and hold her tight at the same time I wanted to shake her for ever leaving.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” My words came out sounding far more like an accusation than a question.
I saw Grace’s chin come up a little – a move I’d seen dozens of times when she’d worked at the pub – and knew she was gathering her nerve to respond.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Now that, I hadn’t expected. After the shitty way she’d left the pub, after all the sleepless nights I’d spent worrying about her, now she was going to give me attitude?
“Really? That’s how you’re going to play this?” The anger, frustration, and – fuck it all – hurt I’d felt since she’d pulled her disappearing act bled through my words. Bitterness over what she’d done filled me and spewed out at her. “Like I’m the one who ran off without a word and didn’t give a flying fuck about the people or the mess I left behind?”
Grace flinched as my words hit home. I hadn’t intended to go after her like that, but my emotions were riding me hard. For just a moment I wanted her to know, to feel even a fraction of what she’d put me through.
Levi stepped up behind me, his hand heavy on my shoulder.
“Look, man.” Levi’s voice was pitched low, so only I could hear him. “She just vouched for you, said you wouldn’t hurt her. Don’t make her regret that and don’t make me drag your sorry ass out of here. You know I can, and I will if you don’t calm the fuck down.”
Irritated at Levi’s interference, I shrugged my shoulder, trying to dislodge his hand, but he clamped down even harder.
“I don’t know who she is or what this is about, but you’re scaring the shit out of her.”
My eyes flew back to Grace. I looked, really looked, at her, and I could see that Levi was right. She was putting up a brave front, staring back at me with color streaked across her cheeks, but she was shaking. She was gripping the counter in front of her like a lifeline and she was shaking.
Seeing that, seeing what I’d done to her, the anger drained away leaving shame and regret in its wake.
I’d waited nearly a year and a half for this day. Waited for it, dreamed about it, and hoped with everything I had that it would happen.
And here I was, with Grace essentially backed into a corner, taking hit after hit at her, figuratively if not literally.
I blew out a breath, wishing I could rewind the clock and do the last few minutes over.
Levi’s death grip on my shoulder loosened and I knew he could tell that what he’d said had gotten through to me. I’d never wanted to frighten Grace or make her question whether she was safe with me. I felt sick at the thought that I had.
“Okay. I’m okay now,” I said over my shoulder to Levi, then looked across the kitchen at Grace. I focused on her even as I spoke again to Levi. “Can you give us a couple minutes?”
Levi shifted behind me.
“Is that okay with you?” he asked Grace. “If it’s not, just say so. You don’t have to talk to him.”
I felt my hackles rise a little at Levi’s words, but then I reminded myself what an asshole I’d been since I’d pushed my way into the diner’s kitchen. I should be glad that Levi was doing his best to protect Grace, even if it was from me.
Grace looked at me for a moment, then back at Levi, the seconds ticking away as she silently debated my fate. It was the same thing she’d asked Vanessa for – a few minutes to talk – but that was before I’d said what I had to her.
What was I going to do if she refused to even talk to me?
Fortunately, I didn’t have to find out.
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice quiet, but firm.
Levi stepped back. I waited to hear the swish of the kitchen door opening and closing to let me know that he was gone, and we were alone.
“Grace...” I started, then stopped. How did I fix this? “I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I saw you and...I don’t know, just reacted. I was afraid you’d run again.”
I stopped as Grace drew in a quick breath at my mention of running away. Was she thinking about the way she’d left me – left the pub , I corrected myself – all those months ago? Or was she thinking about doing it again?
“Please don’t, okay? You don’t have to run away from me. I just want to talk to you. I just want” – need – “to understand what happened.”
Grace jerked her head in a nod, then swallowed hard. “I won’t run away, but...could... could you move over there?”
I frowned in confusion as I slowly did as Grace had asked, moving to a spot near the back wall of the kitchen, wondering what difference...
Then it hit me.
I’d been standing in front of the kitchen door, blocking her only possible means of escape. Not that she could outrun me as it was, although it wouldn’t come to that. But with me standing where I was now, at least she had an opening, a chance. Before, she’d been trapped, with a man nearly twice her size standing between her and freedom.
She’d recognized that, and it had scared her.
What had Grace been through that she’d recognized the danger in a situation like that?
Once I’d moved, Grace took a deep breath, and I watched as some of the tension drained out of her body. She stared silently down at the counter in front of her and I wondered what was going through her head.
“What happened will take a lot more than a couple minutes to explain.” She kept her eyes glued to the counter, avoiding mine, reminding me so strongly of how she’d been when she’d first started at the pub that I nearly missed her next, oh so quiet words. “I’m not sure it really matters.”
“It does to me.” I kept my tone calm, even as I fought the urge to cross the kitchen to be closer to her.
How could she think it didn’t matter to me why she’d left? Had I imagined the connection I’d thought we’d had?
“Okay. I know I owe you an explanation,” she acquiesced, the exhaustion and resignation filling her words making my heart squeeze. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay – the very last thing I could do at that moment. “I can’t do it now, though. I need to finish my shift.”
Impatient as I was, Grace had a point. She was at work, and I knew as well as anyone that she wasn’t one to shirk her responsibilities.
“Fair enough. What time are you done?”
Grace glanced up at the clock on the wall, then back down at the counter. “We’ll close about eight if we don’t have customers. If we do, we’ll stay open ‘til they’re done, whenever that is.”
I looked around the kitchen, thinking. “How about I plan to pick you up here at eight? If you still have customers, I’ll just hang out and wait for you.”
Grace hesitated, then nodded.
“Do you still have my phone number?”
She nodded again, still refusing to meet my eyes.
“Call me if anything changes, okay?”
After one more silent nod from Grace, I made myself move. It was against every instinct I had to let her out of my sight, but I had to.
I crossed to the kitchen door, then paused with my hand on it and looked back over my shoulder at Grace. I watched her, wondering if I could trust her.
If I left the diner without her, would I ever see her again?
I couldn’t leave without saying something to her, something to let her know how much I’d thought about her, what it meant to me to at least know where she was and that she was okay.
What could I say, though? I missed you so fucking much it hurt? I’ve thought about you, worried about you, every single day since you disappeared?
Both were true – and all but guaranteed to make any sane woman run for the hills. I sounded like a crazy, lovesick stalker. Connection or not, I’d been Grace’s co-worker – not her boyfriend, not even her friend with the world’s most amazing benefits.
This was not the time for Grace to learn how stuck I was on her. There was no possible way that could end well.
Still, I needed to say something to her, just in case...
I didn’t even want to think the rest of that thought.
So, I said what I could. “I’m really happy to see you again, Grace.”
She finally looked at me. She didn’t nod this time, just stood silently as her eyes filled with tears.
Seconds away from saying fuck it and crossing the room to pull her into my arms, I forced myself to push through the door and walk away from her, praying with every ounce of my soul that it wasn’t the last time I’d ever see her.