Chapter 36
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
Emelia
Baylor and I are sitting at the kitchen table, each with a coloring book in front of us, and a bunch of crayons are scattered between us.
“Yours is so neat.” Baylor glances between my book and her own.
“That’s because I’ve had so much more practice. One day you’ll be able to color like this too.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
I nod. “Just keep working on it. You’ll see.”
She shrugs and goes back to coloring. She leans down so low to the table, I’m surprised she can even see what she’s doing. And she has the cutest little habit of sticking her tongue out of her mouth and off to the side when she’s really concentrating. It’s adorable.
The front door opens, and a few seconds later, Elliott steps into the kitchen. He looks as if he’s seen a ghost. He’s pale, and his eyes are hollow. I just saw him an hour ago. What the hell is going on?
Did he get bad news about someone?
“Hey.” My voice is tentative.
“Baylor, why don’t you go play in your room? I need to talk to Emelia.”
I frown as unease crawls up my spine. Something is definitely wrong.
“I want to keep coloring with Emelia.” Baylor doesn’t even look up from her coloring book.
He sighs and drags a hand through his hair as though he doesn’t have the energy to deal with her fighting him on this.
I set a hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention toward me. “I think I saw that there’s a new movie on the streaming service. How about I turn it on for you so that your dad and I can talk?”
She tips her chin up at me. “Okay. Will you watch the rest with me after you and Daddy talk?”
I cut a quick look toward Elliott. His mouth is set in a firm line, and he’s looking out the sliding glass door, mind a million miles away.
“We’ll see.” I push my chair out and go into the family room to get everything set up for her.
Once she’s settled, I go back into the kitchen, but Elliott is not there. A quick look outside and I can see he’s out on the deck, hands gripping the railing, looking at the water. The nauseous feeling in my stomach deepens as I grab my coat and slip on my shoes.
“Elliott, what’s going on?”
He turns around, and the look on his face is one of quiet devastation. Without saying anything, he closes the distance between us in three strides and pulls me into a hug.
Now I know something is really wrong if he’s hugging me with the prospect of Baylor seeing us.
I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tightly, breathing in his scent. “What is it?”
His head is tucked against my neck when he speaks. “Kate came back.”
I stiffen, then pull back. “What?”
He holds me by the shoulders. “Kate is in town. I just saw her.”
My eyes go wide. What the hell is she doing here?
My entire stomach drops out, and my heart pinches, but not in the usual way it does when I’m with Elliott.
Just when we were getting somewhere, Baylor’s mom comes back into our lives?
I don’t want to be selfish—this could be great for Baylor—but I can’t help but wonder what this means for Elliott and me.
I’m speechless as Elliott presses the bridge of his nose and bows his chin to his chest. “That was my reaction too.”
“Are you sure it was her? Did you speak with her?”
He nods, and his hands fall to his sides. “Yeah, she said she wants to meet with Baylor. Wants to know what she’s like.”
Protectiveness, as fierce as a hurricane-force wind, rises up inside me. “She can’t do that.”
I think of little Baylor in the house and what this might do to her.
He nods, but somehow I’m not sure he fully agrees with me.
“Elliott, you’re not actually considering it, are you?”
He blows out a breath, dragging a hand through his hair. “I told her I’d think about it. I don’t know what to do.”
“What if she hurts her? What if she leaves again? Have you thought about how that might affect Baylor?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I have no say in this. I’m a temporary part of their lives, and I’ve made the fatal mistake of getting too involved.
The look Elliott gives me reminds me of when I first came to town.
“Of course I’ve thought about what this could do to Baylor.
That’s all I thought about on the drive home.
” He throws his hands up beside him. “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
I thought about how you felt growing up, never having met your mom or knowing anything about her.
How I felt after losing my mom. And I’ve questioned if it’s better to let Baylor meet her, even if Kate doesn’t end up staying in her life, because at least then she’ll have something, however little it is. ”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
He steps forward and holds me by the shoulders.
“I know you only said it because you care about my daughter. This whole situation is a mess. I wish I could fast-forward to the future and know what Kate’s capable of and make my decision based on that.
” He rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.
I allow my hand to drift up to his cheek. “You’ll make the right decision for Baylor. I know you will.”
“I wish I had the same confidence in myself that you do.” He pulls away and turns away from me, hands on his hips. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I know that I have to give it some real consideration. As much as I wanted to throw her out on her ass, I have to think of Baylor.”
I nod as he speaks, even though he can’t see me.
He keeps his back to me, and I see it—he’s shutting me out. But I remind myself not to make this about me. Elliott’s world has just been rocked.
When he doesn’t say anything after another minute, I move toward the stairs. “I guess I’ll go to the bunkie now. Let me know if you need me at all.”
He nods, and I can’t tell whether he even really heard me.
By the time I’ve crossed the lawn and made it inside the bunkie, pressure builds behind my eyes. I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s because my communication with Elliott has always been so good, and this feels different. I feel shut out.
I want to help him deal with this, not be left on the sidelines. But the choice isn’t mine.
A few hours later, there’s a knock on the bunkie door.
I’m lying on the bed, reading. “Come in.”
Elliott walks inside, and he doesn’t look any better than he did earlier. In fact, I think he might look even more conflicted. “Hey, do you mind watching Baylor tonight? I want to head over to Roy’s and join the guys for poker.”
I blink a few times because what he’s really saying is that he prefers to go over there and talk to the guys about this rather than stay here and talk to me.
Somehow, I manage to keep my voice even when I really want to tell him to stay here. Talk it out with me. “Of course. Whatever you want.”
He gives me a brisk nod. “Great. Can you be there in, like, ten minutes?”
“Sure.”
Without saying anything else, he turns back to face the door.
“Elliott.” He goes still with his hand on the doorknob but doesn’t turn around to face me. “I’m here if you want to talk.”
The smallest nod is my only indication that he heard me.
And then he’s gone.