Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Fiona
Quick question… Is it really a crime if I smother THE loudest snorer in history of mankind OR am I just doing the world a favor?
Fiona
Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Me
Well if you smother the snoring dude until he can’t breathe, then I think the law may have an opinion. Is your drummer sleeping in the bunks again? Have you not heard of earplugs?
Fiona
Yeah, but I can still hear him. I’m losing it. Tour buses are great for some things and reallllllly suck for other things. How was Charleston last night? You looked hot on insta!
Me
Thank you, thank you. You were right about those purple shorts. They were perfect with those black heels you convinced me to buy!
Fiona
Told you. I don’t care that you’re 5’8”, you Amazonian goddess, you have every right to rock high heels!
I would never lie, especially about you looking like a damn snack!
…speaking of yummy things, are you going to stop by the Nashville offices when you’re there later this summer to see your brother and bump into/jump on a certain tall, dark, and handsome?
Me
He is definitely all of those things. I could wear 4-inch heels and he’d still be taller.
Fiona
He has to be close to 6’4” so it’s perfect for a tall babe like you. Nice deflection though.
Me
Sigh. No, Wells will be somewhere in Europe so no reason to stop at Lux…
Fiona
False. You could be the reason. You could call Jack right now and I bet he would even come to you, you little chicken shit.
What are you so scared of? I know he has feelings for you and Lord knows we all know you’re so far gone for that man.
Pretty sure Wells even knows at this point. Why are you STILL avoiding him?
I huff out a sigh and throw myself back onto my bed.
Staring at the ceiling, it’s hard to put my feelings into a text, even to my best friend.
I am absolutely still avoiding Jack, despite the fact that my feelings have not at all diminished for the man.
But I also don’t want my darkness and the evil that is so wrapped up in my life to touch him in any way.
There’s not an easy solution to this—or that’s what I tell myself while I ignore the very obvious fact that I am also a giant chicken shit.
Fiona
Seriously, do you want ME to tell your brother? We both know I’ll gladly call him up right now! It would be the worst surprise of all time.
Me
Why would Wells know anything? He doesn’t know anything or he’d say something… right?!
Fiona
Not necessarily. He loves you both and knows it’s complicated.
Me
I can’t handle losing him. If Jack is at a distance, he’s still in my orbit. I can’t lose him all together.
Fiona
But what if pushing him away is just wasting time until you two can be happy and together?
Me
Like you said, it’s complicated, Fi. You know that. Speaking of complicated things… did you talk to Dahlia? Is she going to do it???
Fiona
I just want you to be happy, Tins. You deserve it. You deserve the world.
Fiona
And yes, I finally did have my own hard conversation. She’s going to think about it, but it felt like she’s going to say yes!!
Fiona
I already messaged the attorney, Daphne, she’s the same one Max suggested when I asked for his recommendation for an attorney I could trust with personal and highly sensitive things…
which obviously this is. Daphne is going to have the paperwork ready, just in case she says yes, I need to have everything in place.
Fiona
I’m hoping for sometime this fall/early winter.
Me
Of course she will say yes, she’s a great sister! You deserve to be happy too. I have to go do some press calls, let’s try and facetime tonight when you’re back on the bus.
Fiona
It’s a date, babe. Love you forever! Xoxo.
Me
Love you forever, Fi!
When my brother’s company signed Fiona Skye eight years ago, they also brought one of the best people I’ve ever known into my life.
I will forever be grateful that Wells introduced us—it may be the greatest gift he has ever given me.
Fiona is five years older than me, but as she likes to say, our souls just recognized each other.
Her music is more pop-focused, and despite what the press wants to say about us, we’ve never viewed the other as competition.
I really hope her sister will be able to help her dreams come true, it’s only been her and her older sister Dahlia for so long.
Some days, I find myself wishing it was just me and Wells in our family—our mother nor Rick really add anything positive to our lives.
Drama and pain? Absolutely. Love and support? None to be found.
Pushing that train of thought away, I try and refocus on the good things I do have in my life. I have a great brother and I’m lucky to have two really good friends in Fiona and Allie. That’s more than a lot of people will ever have, and it will just have to be enough.
“You useless, ungrateful, little bitch,” Rick screams at my face as he winds his foot back and kicks me again in the stomach.
I don’t have anywhere to go, so I just curl in on myself and try to block the next blow that I know will come.
Rick always has a next blow, and today he’s wearing some new cowboy boots that I’m sure I paid for.
“You think you’re smarter than me? You’re an idiot, Tinsley. What did you think telling your mommy was going to do? Huh?” Rick grabs my hair and pulls my head up until I’m standing.
I bite down on my lip until it bleeds. If I could stop my tears all together, I would; he doesn’t deserve them, but I hold back what tears I can—even if a few traitors escape.
“What did you think was going to happen by telling her that I hurt you? Did you think she was going to take you away from me? You can’t get away from me.
I own you. You seem to forget your place, Tinsley.
You don’t go complaining to mommy dearest unless you want me to give her the same kind of attention.
Is that it? Do I need to have you stand there and watch me beat the shit out of your drunk deadbeat mother for you to understand who the fuck is in charge here, Tinsley?
You try and ruin everything, you taint it all, just like your daddy did. ”
Spittle flies from his mouth, and his hair, which is usually so perfectly styled, is disheveled, sticking out all over the place.
My mom was mostly sober this morning and I thought it was worth the risk of asking for help.
When I explained what Rick has been doing and showed her the bruises on my back, I thought she would see me; I thought she would care—I didn’t think she would laugh at me for being dramatic and call Rick into the room.
He said I was crazy and dramatic, making my mom laugh before grabbing my arm and dragging me from the room while my mother poured herself another vodka soda.
His face is red with anger and the vein in his forehead is throbbing—which is always a huge warning sign for me.
If his vein is throbbing like that, I’m going to be exceptionally sore.
“You will tell your mother that you were mistaken and that I am a fucking wonderful stepfather and manager, do you understand that, Tinsley? Can you get that simple task into that stupid tiny brain of yours, or do you need more reminders?” He grabs my wrist and starts to turn it, and I know if it wasn’t for the concert I have in a week, he would break my wrist. It wouldn’t be the first time either.
I’ve had so many injuries over the years that my own mother is convinced I’m exceptionally accident-prone.
But Rick always has an excuse for whatever lesson he beats into me—or attempted to, anyway.
At sixteen, I’ve been under Rick’s thumb since I won that stupid contest nine years ago. I was more or less invisible to him for years before that competition, and he didn’t care about the regional pageants my mom put me in, so long as I won some cash prizes.
If I could talk to Wells, maybe he could help, but Rick has told me—in detail—how he would kill my brother if he tried to help me.
I thought I was protecting my mom all this time, but she couldn’t care less when I finally confessed everything to her this morning.
I only have to make it to eighteen and then I’m out of here.
I’ll only stay in touch with Wells; my mother and Rick can rot in hell together.
I’m sure Wells will help me when I do finally get away, but on the off chance he won’t, I’ll find my own way.
“I asked you a question, you stupid, useless waste of space.” As Rick raises his hand with his palm close to his ear, I should’ve seen it coming.
It’s not the first time, and I knew that throbbing vein was bad news.
I should’ve ducked or tried to block it, but his hand connects with such force, I fly back into the wall and crumble to the floor.
Thankfully, the pain is momentary before I’m swallowed by the black abyss.
Allie sets a fresh bottle of water on the kitchen island for me as she moves around the hotel suite. We always make press calls from her number, just to be safe, so her cell is on speaker phone on the countertop in front of me.
“Tinsley Sinclair, I’m so pumped to talk to you!
You’re on tour everywhere with more number-one hits than most singers or songwriters dream possible.
Girl, you have so much coin you don’t even need your brother’s insane fortune from Lux.
I mean, you just seem to have it all!” It would seem like that from the outside, wouldn’t it?
Isn’t it funny how deceiving appearances can be?
The interview covers the usual questions about my current and upcoming tour—there’s always an upcoming tour; Rick makes sure of it.