Chapter 38 #2
I step back and the safe closes, with the bookshelf silently moving back into place as I walk back to the living room area.
I pinch the folded piece of paper between two fingers and hold it up to her as confusion crosses her face.
As I drop back down onto the couch, I hand it to her. “Do you recognize this?”
“What is it?”
“The note you left me in the hotel room.” I hand it to her and she holds it, but keeps it folded, shocked I still have it after all this time.
“You kept it?” Tinsley whispers.
I nod. “I did. I didn’t believe it, and I didn’t really even understand it at the time, but I needed tangible proof that the night, especially our kiss under the stars and then falling asleep with you in my arms, wasn’t a dream.”
She stares at the white folded paper as a lone tear drop slides down her cheeks and off her face, landing on the note, weakening the structure of the paper in just a matter of seconds that’s been protected in my safe for years.
The blue ink she wrote in seeps through the paper onto the backside where the tear drop fell.
Swiping away another tear, she looks up at me. “Now I don’t understand.”
I nod toward the note. “Read it for me, please.”
Now it’s her turn to rear back. “What? No, I wrote it. I don’t need to read it.”
I reach for her hand, pulling it to my mouth and kissing her palm softly. “Please, Red? I need you to read it to me. Trust me.”
“I don’t know what the goal is here, but … okay.” She swallows hard and a blush creeps up her face. I know she’s embarrassed by these words—and maybe her actions that night—but I can’t confront them until we face them together.
And it’s long fucking overdue that we confront them together.
“Dear Jack.” She glances up at me and I nod for her to go on.
“I'm sorry I had to leave, especially like this.
I never want you tainted by my darkness.
You are too good, and I care about you too much.
Please know you mean so much to me, and I think you're nothing short of incredible. You deserve the world.” She swipes a few tears at that and her voice is wavering, but she takes a breath before finishing it.
“Please take care and I am so sorry. X-o-x-o, Tinsley.”
“Let’s tackle the lies one by one, okay?”
She narrows her eyes at me. “What lies?”
“All of the lies in the note.”
Her eyes widen in shock as her mouth drops. “I didn’t write lies, Jack. I meant what I wrote; I thought I had to protect you. We’ve talked about it.”
I shake my head. “No, baby, we’ve talked around it. We’ve referenced it. But we haven’t faced it—which is what we are going to do right now. Lie number one: you were sorry that you had to leave.”
She slowly shakes her head. “Yeah. I felt bad!”
I hum. “But you didn’t have to leave.”
Her eyes narrow at me again. “Yes, I did, Jack.”
“Why?” I tilt my head, waiting for her explanation—so I can prove that’s a lie too.
“Because what if I lost you all together? What if I stayed and we talked and dated and then it all fell apart, and I lost you all together?”
“Hm. So, what’s different between then and now?”
“Okay, that sounds bad, but I am still terrified of losing you.”
“Why?” I manage to not growl, but I’m tempted. I am so angry about the bullshit she’s believed for so long.
Tinsley throws her hands up in frustration. “Because I love you!”
“I know you do, and I love you too, Red. But you said you had to leave that night and the truth—the actual truth—is that you didn’t have to leave. You didn’t have to leave that night because you should never have to leave me, not when we belong together.”
Her frustration softens. “Jack.”
“You didn’t have to leave, you thought you had to at the time, but I’m telling you, Red, that was a lie. Okay, next.” I gesture with my hand for her to continue.
“What?”
“Next lie.” I nod to the paper.
“I … I don’t know what the next lie is,” she admits.
“I don’t need to read it from the paper. I’ve read that note so many times over the years, I have it memorized.” This information appears to be as shocking as the fact that I kept the note in first place. “You said, ‘I never want you tainted by my darkness.’ But that’s a lie.”
Tinsley starts to disagree with me, but I place a single finger against her lips.
“No, baby. You could never taint me because you are not darkness. Quite the opposite, in fact. You are light—we’ve talked about that in detail.
Wells and I built Lux because of your light.
But not just when you’re on stage. You say you aren’t naturally optimistic, but I disagree.
There is nothing that you could possibly taint in my life.
You enrich. You deepen. You strengthen. To me, Tinsley Saoirse Sinclair, you are the sunshine and light and all that is good in my life.
” I slide my thumb to swipe away the tears for her.
“I am not ‘too good’ as you said in the note, but with you by my side, everything is good. You may care about me too much, but I need you to know that I care so much about you that I could never walk away from you.”
She immediately shakes her head. “Jack, I will never walk away from you again. Never, I promise. I wanted to be with you for years, and what we have is so good, I’m holding on to it and holding on to you forever.”
“Good. I feel the same way, Red. I don’t deserve it, but if you let me, I’ll give you the world.
I’ll give you anything you could possibly want and make every dream of yours come true.
I just ask that if you ever feel like you’re buying into any lies, you come to me so we can face the truth together.
I want to face everything with you—good, bad, easy, hard, I want it all with you. ”
“The only thing I want is you, Jack Callahan.”
“Then it’s a good thing you already have me for the rest of my life.” My lips slam against her as her arms wrap around my neck. Seconds later, I’m moving. Tinsley wraps her legs around me and I have my hands on her incredible ass as I carry her to our bedroom.
Our bedroom. Not mine.
There is no such thing as hers and mine. Not anymore. It’s ours.
Except my heart—that’s hers and hers exclusively. Just like her heart is mine.
I set her down on the bed softly, careful of her ribs that are still healing.
Tinsley moves faster than I would be if I were physically recovering like she is, but she crosses her hands and lifts her shirt over her head and tosses it on the floor before reaching behind her back and unclasping her bra.
“Fuck. Me.” I love Tinsley’s body, everything about her curves do it for me, but she has the most incredible breasts that I’ve ever seen in my life. They knock me on my ass and bring me to my knees every single time I see them.
They are a work of art—but I’m also a possessive bastard and never want anyone else to ever see what’s mine. And Tinsley? She’s mine. Her heart, her body, everything about her is mine—just like everything about me is hers.