Chapter 50
CHAPTER FIFTY
As soon as Jack raised his arms over his head and shocked the shit out of me by a public display of anything, I was gone—and then each of the three suites of our family and friends all joined my goofy brother in his standard fist-pumping cheer he always does whenever he’s in the audience at one of my shows.
The pure joy and love of the moment, serenaded by the intro music my band was playing and around twenty thousand fans screaming at the top of their lungs felt like the universe was somehow allowing Fiona to hug me.
In this moment, I feel my friend’s love wrapping around my heart and soul.
I was laughing until I cried—and she’s right here with me.
Her body isn’t, obviously, but her spirit is.
I carry her with me every day, but in this moment, I feel her in such a tangible way that if I wasn’t standing on this stage in front of all of these people that had paid to come see me, I probably would’ve been on the floor in a sobbing mess.
But maybe that’s also why I feel her—she knew I would need her strength to feel the power in this moment, the love pouring from the crowd to see me back on the stage, the support and encouragement from my people, my family and friends that know me and love me, not the pretty picture of me, but the version that laughs until she snorts, is too competitive in board games, and at the end of the day, just wants to be loved for me.
And they do. The people in those three suites love me. My Jack, my brother, my cousin, and the family I found when the Callahans accepted me as one of their own, the friendships I found in Forrest Falls—they are mine, and I am theirs.
What an honor it is to be loved by them.
“Well, dang, that’s one way to start a show, y’all!” I swipe away another rogue tear and the crowd erupts again. I play a few chords and try to find my breath, mentally hearing Cami coach me through focusing my emotions and intention under my control until I find it again.
“Tonight is going to be a fun night, and we have a few surprises in store.” More cheers erupt at that promise.
“First things first, there’s been a lot of whispers and questions, so let’s just put it all out there, shall we?
” I grin. “We’re going on tour, y’all!” I can’t even hear my own band now; the crowd is cheering so loud, so I laugh and play a few more chords until I can hear enough to talk.
“Oh, and one other little announcement, I’m doing live recordings, and when I wrap the tour, I’ll be dropping a new album. ”
I shrug as I look over to my guitarist who is grinning. He thought I was crazy to drop so many announcements, but I wanted this to be a memorable night.
“All proceeds from The Freedom Tour and album will go to The Skye Network, which is also the organization we are here to help out tonight. So, I have to personally thank each and every one of you for being here tonight.” I walk out to the catwalk from the center stage and adjust the guitar a little, looking back up at the suite and directly at Jack.
My Jack.
“It’s been a minute since I’ve had the honor of being on stage, and so, if it’s okay with all of you, I wanted to start tonight off with my own little surprise, and I need a little help from all of you.
” I play a few more chords and transition into the song I had planned to open the set as the crowd erupts at one of my biggest hits.
“I bet a few of you might know the words, but when we get to the last verse, I have a special version for tonight, so if you’ll help me, I’d like to share that version tonight for the first time that’s going to be released as ‘Everything To Me—The Freedom Version.’”
I play the first two thirds of the song easily from muscle memory, hitting my marks as my band and I move around and interact, and I’m a little surprised I feel a few butterflies erupt in my stomach as I prepare to enter the final verse.
I shake my head no to the drummer, letting them know I’m not ready, I need another moment to compose myself.
Taking another deep breath, I walk back up to the microphone that’s dead center on the catwalk and look right up at my man as I sing the updated lyrics for the first time.
“I'm so proud to claim you for the world to see,
Now that we're together, I think we have everything.
I'm your queen like you're my king.
What we have is forever, your love set me free,
Because baby, you're already everything to me.”
I feel a tear run down my face, but I don’t care, I want the world to know that Jack Callahan is everything to me.
He and Wells helped me get free from Rick’s control, but Jack has done so much more than that.
Jack never makes me feel like I’m too much, in fact, I don’t know if I could ever be too much for the man, which is a good thing, because I plan on holding on to him for the rest of my life.
He is steady, true, and the way the man kisses me makes me forget my own damn name.
He really is everything to me—and I know he would say the same thing about me.
As the crowd goes crazy over my new rendition, I see Jack lift his hands again as he claps, which must mean he liked it too.
He’s standing next to my brother and Max is on the other side of Wells, with his arms around Cara, who is next to Cami and Max’s brother, Chase.
Cara’s brother Luca and her niece and nephew are there with them too.
These are the people that have carried me through the darkest moments of the last year, and it’s an honor to have them here with me—and for me—tonight.
The suite next to the one Jack and Wells are in is filled with Callahans and Bennetts, who are just as crazy as the Callahans, and dare I say, even louder.
I guess everything is bigger in Texas, but after Walker played the role he did that day in the penthouse, I consider anyone he vouches for good in my book, so when he mentioned his nieces in Texas were fans, we insisted they come tonight as well.
The third suite is filled with The Book Club, which I somehow was inducted into in the last few months, even though I’ve never been a huge reader.
Savannah changed that though when she showed me to an entire genre of books that I didn’t even know even existed, and when their friend Harlow introduced me to her favorite mafia romances, for the first time in my life, I found myself reading for fun.
It wasn’t something I was ever allowed to explore before—I didn’t have free time for hobbies like reading or even knowing what was out there that I could read. Jack heard my curiosity though and bought me a swanky Kindle, and they did it again.
They pulled me along and expanded my circle, bringing more people into it that I didn’t know I needed, but now, I can’t imagine life without them.
I blow kisses to the suites, to The Book Club members Sophia—who I’ve never even seen in person before tonight, Daphne, Willa and her daughter, Vivian’s best friend Lauren, Savannah’s sassy neighbor Stacy—who I wish would adopt me—and of course, Dahlia.
She isn’t an official member of The Book Club yet, but I know how those women work and they will get her to join one way or another.
Pippa would be here tonight, but she’s at home with the babies.
Those sweet babies.
Dahlia delivered Fiona’s babies in a textbook delivery, as she likes to explain.
Everything went according to Dahlia’s birth plan, and she had an extensive one.
She was gracious enough to ask me to be there for her, which I was honored to be, and she also asked Pippa and David to be there, which meant so much to them.
What’s funny is that Fiona’s favorite number was always seven—she thought it was the number that was perfect in completion—so when her babies were born on the twenty-seventh day of the seventh month, it felt kismet. It was a beautiful day.
While we will forever miss Fiona, there has been so much joy and beauty to come, not despite, but alongside our grief.
Fiona had planned on naming the babies Fitzgerald and Calliope, so Pippa and David kept those wishes when they named them Calliope Jane Lawrence and Fitzgerald Theodore Lawrence.
CJ and Fitz are healthy, adorable, and the family of four is over the moon with joy, if not tired from sleepless nights—exactly as they should be with eight-week-old twins.
Pippa and David have consistently referred to Dahlia as the babies’ Auntie, and firmly insist she’s a part of the Lawrence, and by extension, Smith-Harrington family now too.
At one point, my family was really just Wells and Allie, but now? It’s an entire village. My family has grown in ways I never expected—never even dreamed—and I will be forever grateful for each and every person I chose that chose me right back, and that I’m lucky enough to call them mine to love.