Chapter twelve
Tyler checked in to his hotel room. When he dropped his bag, his hands shook so badly, he had a hard time pulling up Janie's number, but he managed.
"Ty? 'Sup?" Janie's voice was light and carefree, just the way she always was. She didn't let things get to her; she never did.
"I...I, uh, I fucked up. I fucked up bad and I don't know what to do."
"What? You sound horrible. What happened?"
His voice trembled as badly as his hands. "I think I broke up with Davey."
"What do you mean, you think?"
Tyler sat on the edge of one of the queen-sized beds.
"Oh, shit. This is so bad. He must hate me.
" Tyler squeezed his eyes shut. He got Davey to let him top, and then when Davey said he loved everything about Tyler, he freaked and bolted.
He must have made Davey feel worthless and used.
"It's probably the worst thing a guy could ever do. "
There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Uh, Tyler. What did you do? I know you're not the type to fuck with someone."
"I did. I didn't mean to, but I just, I freaked out. Okay? I stormed out like my ass was on fire."
"Ohhhh! Why?"
"He, I, it's just too much, too fast. We can't even be a fucking couple.
Fuck!" Tyler grabbed at his hair. It just wasn't fair.
The necessity of keeping up the image and status wrapped up with the Supercross industry made him back off when he normally wouldn't. "I'm scared, Janie.
If anyone finds out, I'll lose my job. You know what it means to me. "
"So, when you thought Davey was holding on too tight, you freaked out and bolted, leaving him high and dry. Is that it?"
"Pretty much." He felt like a total shit. He didn't deserve Davey.
"You know you're a total dickhead now. I'm extremely pissed at you."
"Pissed at me?"
"Yeah, you! You just pulled the ultimate dick move. Do you know how that feels to be on the other side? I do. Remember Frank Bascomb? Hm? I can't believe the Tyler I know would do that to anyone, especially someone he cares so much about."
Frank Bascomb was a big hang-up for Janie.
She met the weightlifting junkie in her gym.
Sure, he looked good, but that didn't negate his asshole membership, only dating Janie long enough to get in her pants.
Once she finally put out, the meathead split.
Not returning her calls or texts, he basically told her to get lost. It broke her heart for about a week.
Maybe longer. Until the next guy came along.
That thought made Tyler feel worse. What if Davey found someone else?
"I know, Janie, that's why I'm calling you. Help me. What do I do to fix this?"
"First, you better think about what you want from him. You can't keep yanking him around like a yo-yo."
"What I want? Fuck!" He stood up and started pacing the room. "I want him. I'm totally so into him, but it just can't happen."
"Are you in love with him?"
Tyler didn't answer right away. He didn't know the answer.
"Janes! I don't know. I can't even think about figuring this out.
This is so unfair. Mostly unfair to Davey.
" He plopped down on the floor and leaned back against the bed.
"What he said and how he acted. What he did for me. I think he could be in love with me."
"Did he say that?"
"Not exactly."
He heard Janie crunching on something. "Well, what exactly?" She sounded like she had her mouth full.
"Swallow, Janie."
"Shut up! What did he say?"
"He said he loved everything about me. Not the 'I love you' but close enough, and he said it right after I, uh." He suddenly didn't want to tell her any more. She would think even worse of him, but she probably already figured it out.
"After you what?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
"No! Not nothing, never mind. Tyler Johnathon Whitmore! You tell me right now."
"Fine, Mom! Right after I fucked him. Okay? Happy now?" He threw his hands in the air, exasperated.
"And that's why you bolted?" she asked.
"Uh. Sort of."
"I don't like you anymore. Who are you?"
He leaned over and put his forehead on the carpet. "One scared puppy. What do I do, Janie?"
"First, fucking call him! Tell him everything you just told me and then figure out what you two really want and how to make it work. Stop being a douche."
"Thanks. You know you're kinda bitchy."
"Fuck you, Whitmore."
"Thanks, Janie. I got to get to work."
They hung up and Tyler felt a little better.
She was absolutely right. He just didn't know if he could tell Davey how he felt and make him understand.
That was assuming Davey would even listen to him, which he probably wouldn't. Hell, he'd said it was all just a good fuck, but damned if he meant it.
Davey was so much more than that. Trying would be better than wallowing in self-pity.
He did have to get to the track, though.
He texted Davey, I'm sorry. Can we talk later?
Please. He tucked his phone in his pocket.
He didn't expect to hear from him any time soon.
Tyler headed out to the Georgia Dome where he'd meet up with his team and start prepping out the bikes.
He found a place to park the rental car and walked down to the track where they had team trailers lined up.
The faces of the different racers or their numbers along with the sponsor logos all painted on trucks, trailers and banners made a kaleidoscope of colors, as he walked up to Cole's setup with the colossal red and black KTM logo and ran smack into Cody Barret, his boss.
"What's up Whitmore? Where you been?" Though older, Cody still looked to be in his thirties with dark hair, kept short and few lines on his face. He commanded his team with the stature of a king, shoulder's back and gaze regal.
"I'm not late, am I?" He knew he wasn't late, but he hadn't been hanging out with the team, either and that change in behavior would be noticed.
"Nah. Just wondering where you've been."
"Around."
"Fine." Cody narrowed his eyes at him, as if suspicious. "Go on and help Andy with that one." He pointed at one of the 250 bikes.
"Sure." Disappointed with the assignment but not willing to argue about it lest his extracurricular activities be brought up again, Tyler got right to work.
He focused hard, trying not to think about Davey.
It didn't take long before he was lost in the zone.
A few hours passed before he even knew it.
Then, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He was up to his elbows in grease and buried in the bike, unable to stop and answer the phone, but it obliterated his concentration.
"Watch it, Ty!" Andy called out.
They worked closely together to get the 250 bike up to speed. The rider didn't perform well last week and blamed the bike. Tyler and Andy did find a few issues, but they were almost done fixing it.
Andy grumbled, "Shit, Ty. I got this. Go on. Take a break."
Tyler backed away from the bike for a second, taking a moment to get his head back together. "No, I'm good," he said, not wanting to leave Andy to finish alone.
Andy looked down his long nose. His eyes seemed a little too small for his face, making him look like a hawk or a vulture. "You're head took a nosedive, soon as your phone started buzzing. Take a break. Take care of your shit, then get back here. Cool?"
"Yeah." Tyler headed over to wash off his hands.
Andy was right. Ever since the phone started buzzing, all he could see in his head was Davey, not the job.
Davey, writhing under him; Davey, his hand pressed against the shower door and head thrown back in ecstasy while Tyler sucked him off; Davey, cuddled up on the couch and kissing him until both their lips and cheeks were red and swollen; and Davey making up stupid nicknames for him and dragging his hands through Tyler's hair as if he couldn't keep them out of there and his stupid superhero T-shirts scattered across the floor.
He dried his hands and grabbed his phone.
His breath caught in his throat as he glanced at Davey's message.
Yes. Of course. Text me when you're off and we'll meet up.
Tyler's fingers flew across his key pad. Thanks - really. I will. I'm sorry.
Davey answered right away. We will talk - 2nite.
Tyler turned his phone off and tucked it back in his pocket.
He felt the pressure in his chest ease up.
He hadn't even realized how constricted his chest had felt until that moment of relief.
He took a deep breath, willing his hands not to shake.
The thought of losing Davey was throwing him into fits.
He should have known he was in too deep to back out.
He took a second deep breath. He had to get back to work, and Davey would wait for him.
Hours later, Cody finally called the day.
Tyler and Andy had accomplished a lot, almost completely rebuilding the bike.
He was exhausted and hungry. "Coming out for some grub with us?
" Andy asked, as if reading his mind, but to be honest, none of them had even stopped for lunch, so they all must have been hungry too.
"No. I, uh, have stuff to do," Tyler begged off.
Andy held up his hands, still holding a socket wrench. "What the hell do you have to do here in Atlanta, Colorado-kid?"
"It's personal."
"What could be personal? Unless you're meeting up with a hot chick or something?" Andy lifted his eyebrows, mockingly. "Maybe one of the track girls? That one holding the 30-second board for the Main Event last week was scorching!"
Tyler couldn't help but blush. "Something like that," he said, hoping Andy wouldn't push for details.
Andy held out his empty hand, still coated in grease, for a knuckle bump. "All right, then."
Tyler bumped his fist against Andy's, smiled shyly and headed out to the rental car. He climbed in and cranked the car, then pulled out his phone. Done for the day. Where do you want to meet?