Chapter 31 #2
His dad scooted his chair back with a screech as it shifted across the floor. “Tate Jordan is not the kind of guy you should associate with. Surely, you can find someone better. A nice boy?” He gave his father credit for not choking on the word boy, but he still didn’t get it.
“You don't know him.”
“I know enough.” His dad's eyebrows lowered over his eyes that were so much like his own, a deep infinite blue that you could lose yourself in.
Bryce dropped his fork on his plate. He couldn't eat any of this food anyway. “No, you don't. Tate is the sweetest most caring man. He'd do anything for me. He has. He's proved that.”
His mom stood up. “By dragging you into that perverted relationship?”
“Mom. Why do you think it’s perverted? Jeez. Just because it's different? Love is love.”
“Two people is love. Three is...I don't know what it could be. Perverted.” She held her hands up as if that was the end of it, but for Bryce it was far from over.
“No. You don't get it.” He breathed deeply, not wanting to get upset and raise his voice because that would only prove his immaturity.
“We haven't even done anything except kiss.
They haven't pressured me into anything.
They just love me. That's all. And you know what? I love them.” He did.
That much he knew. He might have screwed up the rest, but he loved them both deeply.
“How can you love two people?” Was she trying to understand or giving him more arguments?
“It's easy. My heart is that big. You taught me how to do that. How to love unconditionally. Are you going to take it back now?”
His parents didn't say anything after that. They didn't have to. Bryce knew what he had to do. He smiled as he pushed himself away from the table. His parents didn’t understand, but they’d taught him all he needed to know: how to love and how to be brave. He had to fix this mess.
Later that night, he booted up his laptop, convinced he needed to send Tate an email and try to get his feelings out. He tapped his fingers to the off-beats of the Ska music playing in his room. It was a bit on the loud side, but he hoped that would give his mom the hint to just leave him alone.
Once the laptop was up and he opened his email, he saw he had several unopened emails from at least two different addresses that he didn’t recognize. The subject line caught his attention, though...
Open this now, Bryce, or Tate’s going to get it!
Warren Tanner. Again.
Or rather, still. He’d been deleting some of the emails, but then he started just saving them in a folder without opening them. This one he opened and glanced over. It talked about getting sexual favors in exchange for him leaving Tate alone.
Nope. He couldn’t deal with this. Tanner had spread his lies around the camp and it had given Bryce some trouble with his parents, but hadn’t touched Tate and his reputation.
It seemed like Tate could blow off anything.
There had been some social media rumors going around about him beating up his last boyfriend, and God knew his mom had a field day with that one.
Bryce knew better, though. Tate wouldn’t beat up anyone.
He was gentle to a fault. So he wasn’t too afraid of threats against Tate. Not from Tanner.
But Tanner could spread rumors about Bryce and end up getting him kicked off of his team.
With a sigh, Bryce drug the emails into the folder he’d set up for the ones he hadn’t even looked at and then forwarded them to Pilot. Maybe he could help. He opened another message box to try and get an email for Tate together, when his phone rang.
Pilot’s picture popped up on the screen. It had only been a second since he’d sent that email. Had something already happened to Tate? He answered quickly. “Pilot? Is everything Okay? Is Tate okay?”
“Yes, we’re okay. Tate’s fine. Are you?”
Bryce blew out a breath with a huff. Now that he’d heard Tate was okay, relief washed over him, as well as all the other conflicting emotions that had just stopped when he worried about Tate. “I don’t know...”
“Hey. We’re worried about you. We just want the best for you. Whatever that is.”
“Yeah? Even if I don’t come back?”
Pilot chuckled. “Of course. Didn’t we say that to start with? We care about you and that doesn’t just turn off. We get it. Your struggles. You have to know Tate gets this, right? He knows the same pressures you do, being in Supercross. You can talk to him and he will listen. Promise.”
“I know.” He hated that he sounded like a petulant child when Pilot was speaking to him like an adult—how he wanted to be treated.
He cleared his throat and tried again. “I miss y’all.
I’m hurting with my leg. I’m worried my team is gonna drop me and now I’m getting more of these threats from Warren Tanner.
So, I’m not myself. I’m, uh, scared...honestly.
I’m scared of everything and I hate that. ”
“Okay. I get it.”
“Do you? Really?”
“Babe...I was in the military. I’ve been to Iraq where I patrolled convoy routes. I know fear. We had no clue who the enemy was, what they looked like. Attacks could come from anywhere and I had to keep our guys safe.”
“You’re good at that.”
“It’s a lot easier here, but that’s not the point.” He sounded frustrated.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just understand that everyone faces fear. I’m scared now. I’m scared that Tanner or some other asshole is going to try and hurt you or Tate, and I won’t be able to do a damned thing about it.”
“Yes, you will.” Bryce was confident in Pilot’s abilities, even more so now, knowing his background.
“Thanks, Bryce. That means a lot.” He paused and for a moment neither of them spoke. “We miss you, too, by the way. I miss you, uh...more than I thought I would, to be honest.”
Bryce pushed away from his desk with a grunt and flopped down on his unmade bed. “What do you mean?”
“Bryce,” he said with a sigh. “When we first brought you in with us, I thought, I don’t know.
..you and Tate had something. Chemistry, but maybe more than that.
You had a connection that I didn’t have with either of you and I was afraid that if I didn’t let y’all explore that, I’d end up losing Tate.
Or he’d regret being with me or something. ..”
“So, you don’t really like me?” He pulled his pillow over his head with his free arm.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied it.”
“No. I didn’t. I liked you enough, Bryce. I figured that at a minimum, it’d be some good sex. You know. I think you’re sexy and smart. I always have. So...”
“I’m still not sure what you’re trying to say, Pilot.” Did he like Bryce or not?
“I’m saying that yes, I was attracted to you, and despite my reasons for bringing you in our relationship, I’m still attracted to you and I really like you. And like I said, I miss you.”
Bryce’s mouth twitched, but he held back his smile. “I’ve had my doubts about us. You and me. Not Tate. He’s...well, you know.”
“He’s a boy-crazy shit.” Pilot chuckled. “Seriously, I know what you mean. You have a lot more in common with him. I probably seem like some old dude.”
Now, Bryce laughed. “No. It’s just that you’re right. About Tate and me, I mean. We have Supercross and we’re closer in age, but you’re not fucking old, man.”
Bryce sat up and his pillow fell to the floor. It had a red and blue Motocross University logo on it. “Pilot?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to come back. I do miss you. Both of you. I want to see where this can go and I don’t know, like get to know you better.
I just want to be sure that you aren’t asking me back just because of your protective streak or that you think that’s what Tate wants.
I want you to want it because you want me, and uh. ..you know...more than just sex.”
“That’s a pretty grown up attitude for someone that’s been hiding away like a brat.”
“Hey!”
“I’m gonna pick on you. That’s what I do.” Pilot chuckled again, and Bryce decided two things. First, that he loved hearing that deep rumbling laugh from Pilot, and second, that his words were fair enough. He had been acting bratty.
“Okay. So?”
“I don’t normally open up so easily, Bryce.” His words were soft and serious, his earlier joking tone gone. “But, I do want you back here. I know Tate does too, but I want you for my own reasons, not just because of what Tate wants.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Spit it out. What are your reasons.” He waited for a second, taking in his room.
Motocross pictures on the wall along with parts magazines stacked on his desk.
A poster of The Mighty Boss Tones hung over his bed.
He thought that this time, maybe he could pack all of that up and bring it with him, if he went back to them, but first things first.. .
“Tell me.”
“I really like you. I want to spend more time with you. Get to know you. See you succeed. Is that enough?”
“I don’t know. It’s a start.”
“It’s not going to happen overnight, Bryce. It’s a process. We have to work on it. Every day.”
“I know that.”
“Then, what’s stopping you?”
“I don’t want to see Tate hurt. I don’t want to bring this Tanner shit with me. I want...I don’t know...closure. Or something like that.”
“The world doesn’t always work that way. Doesn’t work how we want it to. You make things happen. You don’t stand around waiting. I didn’t think I’d have to tell you that.”
Bryce shrugged, though he knew Pilot couldn’t see him. “I don’t know.”
“Think about it. All of it.”
“Okay.” That’s exactly what he needed to do, but Pilot made it sound a lot easier than it actually was.