Chapter 9
Chapter nine
Johnny
Johnny leaned back in his chair and propped his foot on the desk.
Instead of dress shoes and pants, he wore his sneakers and sweats, and one of the t-shirts he’d received at Christmas.
He sucked on the straw of his milkshake.
He kind of wished he was back at that dirty track with Gavin rather than enduring a day in the office with nothing seriously pending to do.
He heard a commotion down the hall. Pilot and Uncle Gary. He should have stayed home. He found his milkshake much more interesting than talking security with them.
“Johnny!” Uncle Gary yelled.
Reluctantly, Johnny slid his feet to the floor and stood up.
He took his drink but went to find his uncle.
They were in the breakroom where they kept a table with four chairs.
A sink, some cabinets, a small fridge, and mini-microwave lined the walls around the table.
Pilot sat in one of the chairs, and Gary leaned against the counter with his thumb stuck through the loop of his belt.
“Hey, man!” Pilot waved. “How’s it going?”
“Fine. How were the races? I didn’t watch. Your guys win?”
“Tate did. It was great seeing him take first. Bryce came in fourth.”
“Sorry.”
“He was kind of pissed, but he’ll get over it. Fourth isn’t too bad.”
Johnny rolled his eyes as he took a seat next to Pilot. “He’ll do better next week. Seems like it’s always up and down, right?”
“It is, for sure.”
Gary cleared his throat. “So how was your weekend, Johnny? What’d you do?”
“Yeah, J-man. What’s going on?”
Johnny concentrated on his shake. He wanted to ignore his family and get more of that yummy goodness into his mouth.
He took his time and swallowed before looking up.
“Fine. Nothing happened much. Stayed home.” He didn’t know why he lied.
It had been the best weekend he’d had in a long time.
Maybe ever. Even with Gavin dragging him to the track, it was worth it for all the kinky sex.
“Oh?” Gary asked. “You haven’t been around much lately. You worried me there for a minute.”
“I’m fine. Been working at home.” Another lie.
He hadn’t been working at all. He shouldn’t lie about it, but he didn’t want to talk about it either.
Pilot and Gary would latch on and not let go.
He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to tell them about Gavin.
Maybe Johnny needed to keep Gavin all to himself a little longer.
They’d be happy for him. Pilot was aware of his relationship with Gavin.
He’d brought him to The Ranch, but he didn’t know how deep Johnny had fallen or how fast. Johnny couldn’t attach numbers to those two things either.
What depth? What speed? There was a velocity equation in there that ended with some kind of crash, but Johnny didn’t want to focus on that.
Pilot and Gary chitchatted about work, occasionally throwing a look his way, and he pretended to be oblivious to it. When he finished his milkshake, he stood up and tossed the paper cup into the bin. “I’ve a few things to catch up on. See you guys later.”
They didn’t stop him, but he felt their eyes on him.
They had to be curious, but they didn’t push him for answers.
He didn’t have any. His stomach churned a little.
On the one hand, he was ecstatic about Gavin, and he was more relaxed after such a great sex-filled weekend than he’d been in a long time.
On the other hand, Gavin’s probing questions made him think harder about his life. He’d asked what Johnny loved to do, but Johnny didn’t have an answer. Everything smashed together in his head like an omelet gone wrong, leaving him with a scrambled mess.
Things had changed too quickly. He couldn’t get focus.
Where was Johnny’s passion? What did he want?
There had to be more to life. Gavin had shown him that.
There were more than numbers, working...
Trident. Why hadn’t he told Gavin about buying the company?
Buying Trident with Pilot had never even crossed his mind when Gavin asked about his passions.
Buying Trident had been his dream for so long, but now?
Wasn't that his passion? He looked around his office. He didn't even want to be there.
He could have told them about spending the weekend with Gavin.
His chest seized up a little. He didn’t want to share it with Pilot.
They used to share everything, but that changed too since Pilot was seeing someone—or two.
He had a relationship with two guys. His relationship with Johnny would never be the same again.
Johnny still needed to mourn that loss. Somehow the dream of owning the company was all wrapped up in his feelings for Pilot like some kind of consolation prize—an afterthought.
Johnny leaned back in his chair. He didn’t want to let it all go, but at the same time, maybe he could easily walk away from it all. Since he didn’t know what to do, he would continue doing nothing until he figured it out.
He should probably talk to Uncle Gary, but how would he feel if Johnny told him he didn’t want to buy the business anymore? Gary had always been there for him, even when his parents hadn’t been. Sometimes he couldn’t believe his father and Gary were actually brothers. They were complete opposites.
Maybe if he still bought Gary out, he could be a silent partner and let Pilot run the company. Pilot helped Gary with operations anyway. Johnny did the books—the financials.
What would he do if he didn't buy the business?
How would Gavin fit into his plans?
He pulled up the information on the joint venture investments he’d created for him and Pilot. They’d built a solid plan. They’d been working on it for years until Bryce and Tate had come along. Life had gotten in the way. Should he hold on to those dreams or say fuck it all?
Maybe he needed a new dream.