Chapter 11 #3
He took a deep breath and stared at the mirror.
The bright lights treated his image harshly.
His eyes looked puffy. His hair was getting too long and shaggy.
He looked like a scrawny kid. He didn’t like it at all, though it seemed fitting.
He’d probably screwed things up with Gavin already.
He hadn’t texted back or called all day.
Why would he? Gavin was out of Johnny’s league—as they say.
He could never be enough for a man like him.
Where was Gavin?
Why did Pilot have to be involved with Tate and Bryce?
He went back to the door, checking it again.
His shirt clung to him too tightly. He thought about what would happen the next day.
Why was he so antsy? He had hoped getting away from home might gain him perspective on things.
This trip, this day, meant nothing. Johnny didn’t like the way his entire life was going.
He wasn’t opposed to running away from it all, hiding from himself.
But the race? No, that hadn’t helped at all.
Feeling constricted and strangled, he yanked his clothes off and dumped them onto the floor.
He checked the door one more time before jumping into the shower.
Being at the track all day made him feel dirty.
Sitting so close to the front, he’d been able to see all that dirt flying around on the track.
He couldn’t help but imagine that it had gotten on him.
He scrubbed it off, using the hotel soap and shampoo.
It didn’t smell that bad, citrusy with a hint of soft floral.
Maybe jasmine. Johnny didn’t linger in the shower.
He wanted to relax and get to sleep. Get it over with, so he could go home.
He put on a soft t-shirt and boxer shorts, then dumped his luggage to the floor between the bed and the wall that separated the main room from the bath, and crawled into bed, not bothering to even turn the TV on.
He snuggled into the fresh, clean sheets.
It was only a simple room, not like the luxury suites Gavin liked to book, but he could appreciate it all the same.
The knock on the door startled him out of a half-sleep. He sat up.
Another knock.
He jumped out of bed and looked through the peephole. Gavin stood there with a suitcase at his feet and a scowl on his face.
“Oh!” Johnny had forgotten he’d texted the hotel information to Gavin. He opened the door.
“Hello. You look comfortable, Johnny.” Gavin stepped forward and pulled Johnny into his arms. He kissed Johnny’s face, forehead, cheek, nose, lips. He lingered at his lips but didn’t take the kiss too deep. “I missed you.”
“Come in.” Johnny cleared his throat, not even sure why he was all choked up.
Gavin grabbed his luggage and slid inside, looking around. “Not bad.”
“Not up to your standards?”
“It’s fine. I wish you’d let me spoil you, though.”
Johnny exhaled loudly. “After today, maybe I should have let you.”
Gavin frowned, brow creasing over his shiny, dark eyes. “Whatdoyoumean?” he asked so fast it sounded like he ran his words together. “What happened?”
His concern touched Johnny, and a part of him wanted to tell Gavin everything, but it would be too much like a confession. “Never mind. Not important. I’m tired.”
“Too tired for me? Or...can I at least pamper you some?”
“Pamper away.” He sure as hell wasn’t about to say no with Gavin standing right in front of him, looking all sexy in his dress shirt and loose tie.
“Let me get more comfortable. Why don’t you get up on that bed?” Gavin gestured toward the king bed in the center of the room. Johnny had already rumpled the sheets, having pushed them halfway down the bed, and scattered the pillows from his attempt at sleeping.
He didn’t argue. He climbed right in, pulled the sheet up over his thighs, and watched Gavin move around the space.
He took off his tie and draped it over a hanger, followed by his shirt.
He kicked off his shoes. They were stylish dress shoes with old-fashioned stitching on the top, but the soles were thicker than he’d normally expect for dress shoes. “Those look super comfy.”
“Mm-hmm...they are. When I’m at the track, regular dress shoes don’t cut it. My feet would be screaming, and I’d ruin them. These are nice but rugged and comfortable.” He picked one up and flipped it over. “And very tough.”
“Why don’t you dress down and wear sneakers? It’s a race. You could get away with your team jersey, right?”
“Not my style. You should know that by now.”
“I guess.” Johnny did know that. From what he’d seen so far, Gavin almost always dressed up—better than expected in any given situation.
“Nothing to drink? You want a drink?” Gavin asked, looking in the empty minifridge while unbuttoning his shirt.
“N-No. I’m good.”
“You seem tense.” He stopped and stared at Johnny with penetrating curiosity. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something—”
“No! Damn, no. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I had a bad day. Not a bad day bad day. The races were kind of okay, but...”
Gavin sat on the edge of the bed beside Johnny and rested his big, heavy hand on Johnny’s thigh. “Hey, tell me what’s going on.”
Johnny huffed. “Fine.” His gaze jumped around the hotel room.
He wanted to check the door again but ignored it, finally focusing his eyes on Gavin’s concerned face.
He dug deep inside for his answers, trying to get at the heart of what was going on.
“I don’t want my uncle’s security company, and I’m going to let everybody down. ”
“I don’t think that’s true. Even if you change your plans.” Gavin rubbed his leg. “They love you and will understand. I care about you, too. I want to help, okay?”
Johnny muttered okay as Gavin rubbed a little closer to his crotch.
Then he leaned over and grabbed Johnny’s hips, tugging him closer before boldly massaging Johnny’s cock.
Johnny’s body responded despite his fleeting brain.
Gavin’s weight pinned Johnny’s legs to the bed as Gavin fondled him.
“What? Are you trying to fix me through BDSM or something?”
“No, I like kinky sex.” He shrugged. “You know that, and this is to get you off. That's it.”
“So, that's all I am, your sex toy? You said you cared about me.” Johnny poked dangerously at the issue. He hadn’t meant to deal with it, but it had been circling his brain, even when he didn’t want to pay attention to it.
Gavin’s immediate shift to sex made all that worrying pull up hard, not letting Johnny ignore it any longer.
Gavin sat up. “Hey, I do care—more than you know. I, you know, I thought it would help get your mind off things. That’s all.”
“I’ve ignored this enough. I need to think about these things right now. I need to know what this is. What it means.” He spit the words out fast before he could stop.
“You don't have to figure it all out in one night.”
Johnny fought back his feelings, his tears.
He didn’t think he could stand rejection, but he also couldn’t keep fooling around with Gavin without those damned traitorous feelings.
He’d passed that stage already—like it or not.
“Am I going too fast? I mean we'd hardly had a first date before I shoved that vibrator up my ass for you—”
“You're picking a fight. Come on, relax.”
“Don't know if I can.”
Gavin stood up and paced the room twice. “Let me help you relax, J. Close your eyes and feel. Shut your brain off. You’re too...uptight. Don’t look at me like that.”
Johnny continued to glare at him, despite his words.
Gavin sat back down and grabbed the edge of the sheet, pulling at it as he spoke.
“I’ll help you clear your mind. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about it.
All of it. I promise. But you’re not going to make logical decisions in this state.
Let me change it.” He pulled the sheet all the way off, exposing Johnny’s legs.
His cock was flaccid, but Gavin’s eyes on him made it stir with interest.
“That sounds...” When Gavin leaned over and mouthed his cock through his boxers, Johnny’s brain finally fizzled out. He sighed, giving in. “Yeah...talk tomorrow.”
“I promise,” Gavin reassured him.
Feelings. Feelings were the opposite of logic. They existed, despite not being wanted, and they did what they pleased, controlling the body and mind like a dictator. He had to ride it out.
Johnny’s heart hammered in his chest, and his cock got harder and harder as Gavin teased him. “Okay.”
Gavin slid his fingers under the elastic band of his underwear. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes.”
“Say it again.”
“Yes, Gavin. Yes.”
The smile that spread across Gavin’s face promised dirty things like a night full of sin. Johnny wouldn’t be able to think of anything else but his sexy tingling body as Gavin pulled the material down his legs.
“Take your shirt off, Johnny.”
Johnny could not disobey that husky command. He wrenched the t-shirt over his head and tossed it without watching where it went.
Gavin raked his eyes over Johnny’s body.
He grabbed Johnny’s ankle and dragged him down to the end of the bed until his ass hung off it.
Johnny laughed a bit. He liked it when Gavin manhandled him.
He practically purred like a cat when Gavin flipped him over onto his stomach.
“What exactly are you going to do with me?” Anticipation thrummed in his stomach.
Gavin chuckled. “I’m going to look at your fine ass while I finish undressing. For starters.”
Johnny wiggled, determined to give him a show. After a moment, he leaned up on his arms and peered over his shoulder. Gavin pulled off his socks, leaving him naked, except the intense look on his face that Johnny thought of as his armor.
True to his word, Gavin stared at Johnny’s ass. Johnny rolled his hips as if fucking the bed, gaining friction on his cock. He wanted more, so he did it again.
Gavin smacked his ass. “That’s what you need.”