Chapter 24
Chapter twenty-four
Gavin
He hadn’t heard from Johnny in a few days.
He hadn’t returned Gavin’s voicemail or texts, and Gavin was getting irritated.
Beyond irritated. They had moved to the I love you phase, but this felt like a step backward.
Gavin drowned in this emotional bullshit.
He hated it but had no clue what to do. He wanted to do something—anything—to fix this, but he feared there wasn’t anything he could do.
He needed advice but didn’t have too many friends he could call. He could only think of Jason. He might be available and willing to chat. “What the hell...” He tapped his contact list.
“Gavin! Hey, I’ve got Craige Lee set up for an interview this weekend after the race. I think it’ll be helpful.”
“That’s super but not why I’m calling.”
“Oh? Then what’s up, man?”
Gavin slid down in his recliner. “I told Johnny I loved him. Now he’s ignoring me.”
“Oh, shit. That doesn’t sound good, man.”
Gavin laid out the whole story, and Jason asked questions here and there. “Now I feel like we’ve bounced back to a bad place. I don’t know what’s going on, and he still doesn’t trust me, doesn’t let me in. I thought we’d passed that point already.”
“Maybe you passed it. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’s dealing with something that he doesn’t want Mr. Bossy-pants to fix for him.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
Gavin smiled at the demented laughter coming over the phone. “We both know what that means. Seriously, though. Give him some space. He’s going through a lot. You know? Breathing room.”
“I need to be there for him, taking care of him. And despite myself, I’m damned jealous of Pilot.
I get that it seems irrational. I know they’re friends, practically brothers, and Pilot has not one but two boyfriends.
I know Pilot sees his relationship with Johnny as platonic, but it still drives me crazy.
If Johnny is dealing with something, it’s Pilot and his boyfriends who are there for him. I want it to be me.”
“Gavin, man, it’s not irrational. You want to be first in Johnny’s life, want to take care of the man, but he is a man, and he can take care of himself.
If you push this, you’re gonna push him away.
Right now, he’s probably operating in the same mode he’s always operated in.
You’re still new. Like I said, give it time.
All you can do is be there when he’s ready. Let Johnny come to you.”
“You’re right, I’m sure. But ignoring that part of me that wants to go get him is almost impossible right now.”
“You’ll push him away.”
“I’m not forcing myself on him.”
“He’ll reach out when he’s ready, man.”
“Knowing it in the front part of my brain is totally different than that animal part of the brain that wants to go caveman on him.”
Jason laughed again. “That’s gonna be your new nickname, Caveman Gavin!”
“You’re a fuckin’ riot.” It was a little funny, but Gavin didn’t feel like playing around.
“Sorry, dude. Listen...relax. Keep busy. I know you still have a slot to fill on your team. Focus on that, and when Johnny does call, be ready.”
“You’re a good friend despite your shit sense of humor. Thanks.”
“Anytime, bro. Now, make sure you call me when you get that 250 racer signed. I want the first scoop.”
“You got it.” He easily made that promise.
Jason offered a scratch-your-back relationship that worked for Gavin.
He was solid and always put out great articles for Gavin, so he would be more than happy to do the scratching if that’s what it took to keep him writing those favorable pieces.
Plus, he’d meant what he’d said. Jason was a good friend.
A good guy. He needed to listen to his advice.
After a quick goodbye, he put down his phone and picked up his tablet.
He ran through his options. He needed a good rider, someone hungry, but they also needed to fit in with Craige Lee and Clay Preston.
He needed a cohesive team. Granted, Clay was in the West division, and his new pick would race in the East, but they would still have to work together occasionally.
He also needed to hire at least one more mechanic.
His team was stretched to their maximum with the two racers he already had.
He flipped to his document with possible racers.
He couldn’t consider Jakov for now. They’d keep working on the visa so they might be able to add him to the roster next year.
They’d be in a better position to handle an extra racer as well.
It didn’t solve his immediate problem. He’d seen Eric Westrum race on the street, but he was a wild card.
He could ride but didn’t seem to fit with the others, especially Craige.
Jack Benson was another option. He was having a great season in the Arenacross division.
Gavin had seen his footage at the last straight shootout thing they did.
He’d done well against the best, including Davey McAllister.
That said a lot, but traditionally, the Arenacross guys had a hard time adjusting to the bigger, more challenging tracks.
He could probably live with Benson, but he was still not Gavin’s first choice.
The problem was that he didn’t have a first choice.
He opened a browser and searched for footage.
He needed to find someone fast. Jason was right.
Gavin had plenty to do. Worrying about Johnny and flying over to see him when he clearly didn’t need help, wouldn’t change things.
He needed to think long term with Johnny and with racing.
BikeMax had to be the priority in order to move to a future with Johnny.
He hoped he’d be able to get Johnny to come to his house soon because he owned a large and sexy toybox with plenty for them to play with, and he kept adding new toys with Johnny in mind.