Chapter 6
SIX
REMINGTON
Confusion registers on Jade’s face as I pull the truck up in front of our first stop.
She shakes her head. “What are we doing here?”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “We’re starting our tour.”
“Our tour?”
“The holiday lights tour,” I drawl out, increasingly perplexed by her response. “The one I invited you out for.”
Her lips part and she sucks in a soft breath. It’s such a sweet sound. And her lips, as I’ve discovered, taste so sweet. It’s damn tempting to reach across the cab of the truck and pull her into my lap so I can really give her something to gasp about.
Only my resolve to take things slow, to let her know I care about more than a physical relationship with her, stops me.
“You were serious,” she says at last.
“Of course, I was serious.” I give a short laugh. “Did you think I was planning to drive you out to a lookout spot to make-out like we’re a couple of teenagers?”
I instantly regret the visual that puts in my head. Especially when I was just fighting the urge to do almost that very same thing.
Jade bites on that tempting full bottom lip of hers. My dick twitches, and I have to look away.
“Would you think less of me if I said I wouldn’t have minded that plan?” Jade asks.
I can’t even look at her now or risk giving in to the temptation.
“Here.” I reach into the cup holder and her a travel mug.
She takes a sip and sighs in delight. “Hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate.”
“There are extra marshmallows in the glove compartment if you want.”
“Oh my God, I love you!”
My heart hitches at her words. I know she’s just saying it because of the marshmallows. But damn. It’s still good to hear.
Traffic is heavy along the path to view all of the best Christmas lights in our town. That’s not surprising, considering it’s Christmas Eve and the weather is pleasant.
Jade seems pleased by each of the displays. She gasps and clasps her hands together, her eyes sparkling as they reflect the lights and her excitement.
And, because she’s enjoying the lights, I am too. Even if I barely look at them, because I’m so captivated by her.
We’re about halfway through the tour I’ve planned out for us when Jade turns toward me. “This is so much fun. I’ve never done anything like this.”
“You’ve never looked at Christmas lights?”
“Well, of course I’ve looked at Christmas lights. Just not like this.”
“My mom and I did this every Christmas growing up.” My jaw clenches. “Mom always made us hot cocoa and we’d bundle up and get in the car.”
I don’t mention that the cocoa was always from a packet and made with water instead of milk. Or that we layered up so we wouldn’t have to run the heat and waste gas.
“My father wasn’t really in the picture most of my life.” I give a short, humorless laugh. “That’s the understatement of the year.”
I can probably count on my hands the number of times my dad called to check in on me. I’d need fewer fingers to track the times he actually showed up.
“He didn’t even follow-through with child support.” I shake my head. “He’d hop from odd job to odd job. Mostly taking money under the table so he could skip out.”
Jade’s jaw falls open, and I see it. The look of sympathy I used to get all the time from my friends’ parents and other grown-ups. It’s a look I’ve tried to avoid.
It’s why I don’t usually talk about my childhood. More like why I never talk about it. Especially with women. But it’s different with Jade. Maybe it’s because she’s Mav’s sister, and he’s one of the few people who knows everything. Maybe it’s because she’s good at listening.
Maybe it’s because I want to build something with her. I can’t have any secrets from her.
So, instead of going my usual route and making a joke or changing the subject, I keep talking. Honestly. Brutally. Brutally honest.
“He owed my mom tens of thousands of dollars—maybe even more—by the time I turned eighteen.” I sigh. “Needless to say, money was tight. I knew from an early age how hard my mom worked to keep a roof over our heads. I knew how much she sacrificed to keep food on our table.”
A lump lodges in my throat. I pause to clear it and take a deep breath.
“So Mom didn’t have a lot of free time. But she used every damn minute of it to be there for me. She never missed a school event. She showed up to every baseball game I played from Little League through high school.”
“She was there for you in all the ways that counted,” Jade says softly, placing her hand in mine.
I nod, warmth clenching my chest. She gets it. Of course, she does.
“She was. There weren’t any PlayStations or Nintendos under the tree. I knew better than to ask for that year’s hottest toy. But she found plenty of ways to make the holidays special all the same.”
“I love that.” Jade turns her hand over in mine. “Your mom sounds like a great lady.”
“She’s the best.” I stare down at our hands and carefully link my fingers with hers. “That’s why, as soon as I put aside enough money, I helped her open a little storefront in Anchorage. It’s a little boutique where she can display and sell some of the jewelry and prints she used to make just for fun.”
“I’d love to go see it someday.”
“We should.” I give her hand a squeeze. I still can’t get over that Jade is here with me. Holding my hand. Listening to me pouring my guts out. “Maybe we can make a trip down to see her in the new year.”
“I’d like that.” She squeezes my hand back and returns her gaze out the window.
We don’t say much as we continue on the tour, looking at the lights and listening to the music.
As we pause in front of a house that’s synched to its own radio station, Jade sighs.
“I wish my family had traditions like this.” Jade gives a sheepish grin. “Not that I can complain. Mav and I always had tons of presents under the tree every Christmas morning.”
Now it’s my turn to nod in understanding. While Maverick hasn’t ever gone into a ton of detail, I know that he and Jade also didn’t have a warm and fuzzy family upbringing. Their parents fought a lot, and they fought dirty.
If I was a betting man—and, I guess I am—I’d put a lot of money on the gifts under the tree being less about generosity. They weren’t for their kids. They were to try and one up each other in their kids' eyes.
I may not have had much for Christmas growing up. But what I had always came from the heart.
“It’s never too late to start making some traditions,” I say.
“That’s true.” The sad smile playing on her lips becomes more sincere. “Maybe we can make a few of our own.”
Before I can tell myself to hit the brakes, I reach across the console and cup the back of her neck. I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her. Softly, gently, but with no less passion than our first heated kisses.
We fall into companionable conversation for the rest of the tour. We talk about our favorite and least favorite Christmas movies and songs. (We both hate that Paul McCartney one. Thank God I won’t have to listen to it in the future as a compromise.) We talk about our favorite holiday snacks and drinks.
It’s all simple, light information. Still, I tuck away each detail for later.
I park my truck in front of Maverick and Emerson’s house. As I turn off the ignition, a palpable sense of dread settles inside of me.
Tonight has been… perfect. I’ve shown Jade a new side of me. At least I think I have. I hope I have. Everything I’ve seen of her, everything we’ve shared, has confirmed what my heart has known for a long damn time.
Tonight has exceeded every expectation I could have had. I hate for it to end.
So, when Jade turns to me, her eyes glowing with the twinkling lights on her brother’s house and asks, “Would you like to come in for a bit?”
There’s only one way I can answer. Even if it’s going to test me to the limits. “Hell, yeah.”