Chapter 9
NINE
JADE
My ears are still ringing. It’s as if I’ve stumbled into a room of people shaking strands of jingle bells.
“Wh—what did you say?” I ask, my voice shaky.
“I have to go on a call.” Remington squeezes my hand.
My heart sinks to the ground and fractures into a million pieces. “But it isn’t wildfire season.”
“It isn’t a wildfire.” When I’m still shaking my head, he gives a tight-lipped smile. “We’re sometimes called in to help the Swift Mountain crew when they need it.”
“But it’s New Year’s Eve.”
His face falls. “I know. I’m sorry to leave you without a date. But it’s the holidays and they need me.”
My bottom lip quivers and with a groan of sympathy, he pulls me into his arms for a tight squeeze.
“Baby.” His voice cracks ever so slightly. “I know it sucks. But how about you head to the party with the girls. I promise to meet you there just as soon as I can.”
I open my mouth to tell him that isn’t it. I don’t care about not having a date. I don’t care about the party. I don’t even care about the stupid goal I set for myself and my stupid virginity.
And I hate that he thinks any of those are even a consideration. I don’t care about any of it. I only care about his safety. I only care about him.
I want to say that. I try. But the words won’t come. Instead, I make a weird squawk from the back of my throat.
“I’ll do everything I can to be there by midnight. I can’t have anyone else kissing my girl.” To accentuate the point, Remington presses his lips to my forehead. It’s so impossibly tender, my heart would ache if it wasn’t already shattered.
I shiver. With a squeeze, he pulls back. His dark gaze roves over my body. The heat init makes me tingle. Even though my stomach is churning. “You look beautiful, Jade. Just… fucking beautiful.”
He lingers for another few seconds. Words still escape me as fear pulses through my veins.
With a parting hug, he turns toward the door. He’s nearly to it when I snap out of my stupor.
“Wait!” I race toward him, tripping over my high heels.
“Whoa.” He grabs me by the elbows to hold me steady. “I’d ask ‘Where’s the fire?’ But I already know.”
I don’t laugh at his joke. I physically can’t. Not when my soul aches so badly.
“Please.” I nearly choke on the word. Like there’s sticky molasses in my throat. “Please be careful.”
Remington’s furrowed brow relaxes. His signature smirk graces his lips. “I always am.”
When I give him a dubious look, he chuckles. “I mean it. I may not take life too seriously. But I’m damn good at my job. Safety first. Now”—he releases his hold on me—“I have to get out of here before Calloway chews me out. See you later?”
I swallow hard, but the lump won’t go away. “See you later.”
Because I totally will.I know the crew will all have each other’s backs. I know they’ll be as safe as he can. I know all that.
But as he walks out the door, my heart won’t believe what my brain keeps saying.
They’re trying. They’re really trying to help me have fun at the mayor’s party tonight.
Maxine told me her most embarrassing dating story.
Paisley and Piper ordered a round of shots with an embarrassing name.
Astrid tangoed with Old Mandy Lucas, red rose and all.
Even Mabel offered to hit on the single-and-ready-to-mingle mayor for my amusement.
But no matter how many toasts they propose—no matter how many times they ask the DJ to play Freebird without success—my friends can’t knock me out of my poor mood.
I hate that Remington overheard my conversation with Mabel. Not because he didn’t deserve to hear it. I just… hadn’t figured out how to confess everything.
I also hate that he had to rush off before I could finish my explanation or beg for forgiveness.
And… I hate that he had to rush off to fight a fire. Not because it means I’m here at the mayor’s swanky party without him. I hate that he’s fighting a fire, because I know all too well the dangers involved in this line of work.
“Cheer up.” Mabel hands me a glass of champagne. “Or, at least, drink up and then cheer up.”
“I’m fine.”
She arches an eyebrow that clearly says she doesn’t believe me.
I release a heavy sigh. “I’m worried.”
“Don’t be. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you, and I’m sure he’ll understand once you tell him everything.” She raises her glass to take a sip. “Heck, he’ll probably be flattered that you chose him.”
“That’s not it. Well, it’s not just that.” I take another shaky breath. “I’m worried about him.”
Her hand and glass freeze mid-air. “Excuse me.”
“Look, I know it’s all part of the job. I know this is what firefighters do. My brother works with him, for crying out loud.” My bottom lip quivers and I capture it with my teeth before I can succumb into a full blubber. “But what if something happens to him?”
Setting her glass down, Mabel pulls me toward a quiet alcove off the side of the ballroom. Once we’re there, she grabs my shoulders and waits for me to meet her gaze.
“What’s really going on here?”
A tear slips down my cheek. “I just… what if something happens to him, and I never got a chance to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“That I’m falling for him.” I release a shaky breath. “I’m falling for him, and right now he thinks I look at him as nothing but a piece of meat.”
I only wish I’d realized that sooner. I wish it hadn’t taken the fear of losing him to realize how much he means to me. A sob escapes me.
Mabel’s face crumples in sympathy, and she pulls me into a tight hug. I sob, doing my best to avoid letting any runny eyeliner or mascara fall on her dress. All the while, Mabel murmurs soothing words and pats my back.
When the tears finally stop falling, I release my tight grip on Mabel. She hands me a napkin that she’s found somewhere and helps me mop up the rivers of liner.
She sets aside the dirty napkin. “Look, I know I’m hardly an expert in relationships. My dating record is so bad, I’m about to swear off dating altogether. But here’s what I know.”
She pats my shoulder comfortingly. “Anything can happen at any time. Remington could be hurt in a fire. You could be crossing the street and get run over by a reindeer.”
I give a short laugh at that. “Nice.”
She lifts a shoulder. She always did have a salty sense of humor.
“The point is, bad things happen all the time. That’s why it’s important to tell the people you love that you care about them every time you get the chance. You don’t have to have the perfect words. You just have to say it.”
What she says makes sense. I nod and take a deep, cleansing breath. “You’re right. I can’t let fear hold me back.”
“Good.” She squeezes my arm and releases me. “Besides, I think you’re going to get the chance to tell him sooner than later.”
I sniffle. “Really?”
Mabel nods and gestures over my shoulder. “Take a look, Cinderella. I think Prince Charming finally arrived at the ball.”
Without caring if I’ve recovered my makeup well enough, I turn to follow Mabel’s nod. Across the ballroom, Remington walks in through the main entrance. His hair is damp, which means he probably had to grab a quick shower at the station before coming here. He’s wearing the same suit as before, and he tugs at the tie, as if it’s just a little too tight.
He’s glancing around the room but when his gaze finally lands on me, his lips curve up into that devastating smile of his.
When I see that smile aimed right at me, I take Mabel’s advice. I don’t overthink. I live in the moment.
Without waiting another moment, I race across the ballroom and throw myself at Remington. He lets out a small grunt even as his arms come around me. As they do, it’s like coming home all over again.
Only this time, there isn’t any doubt about whether or not I’ve made the right choice.
I tighten my hold and start to shiver. It’s as if all the panic, all the fear, from the past few hours has finally eased up now that it’s all finally over.
“Hey,” he croons gently in my ear. “It’s okay, baby. It’s all okay.”
“I know.” I swallow hard, fighting the tears that want to fall. “But I was… so scared.”
“I’m sorry to put you through that.” He kisses me behind my ear.
I shiver again, but this time it isn’t the fear. It’s want and desire. I suppose there’s only a thin line separating those emotions. Right now it’s so blurred, it’s nearly impossible to tell which side I’m on.
I want to squeeze him forever. I want to kiss him until neither of us can breathe. I want to tell him everything that’s on my heart.
But there’s one thing that has to happen first.
I lean back in Remington’s arms and gaze up at him through tear-streaked eyes. “I need to tell you something.”
“It’s okay.” His expression softens, and my heart pings. “You don’t have to say anything else about what I heard earlier.”
My brow furrows. “I don’t?”
“I had some time to think about it on the way to the fire and back.” He strokes soothing circles on my back. “And I understand where you were coming from.”
My brows knit even tighter together. “You do?”
“I have a reputation. Some of it’s exaggerated. Some of it”—he gives me a smoldering look filled with promise that has a different part of me pinging now—“is not. But none of it matters.”
“It doesn’t?”
He shakes his head. “All that matters is that you’re giving me a chance. I don’t care how that chance started. I’m just glad I get it.”
“Remington,” I whisper, practically melting into a pool. “I?—”
“Ten—”
We both start as we realize that all around us, the countdown to the new year has begun.
“Nine. Eight?—”
A new year, with a fresh start and endless possibilities.
“Seven. Six?—”
A new year with a new man, who I am just crazy about.
“Five. Four?—”
But there’s still something I have to tell him. Not wanting to waste another second, even to wait for the new year, I stroke his cheek. “Remington, I need to tell you: I’m falling for you.”