Chapter 12
PAYTON
I’d come to Alaska to put my body to the ultimate test.
I’d never expected that test to include kidnapping, the best sex of my life, and a long, arduous trek through hip-deep snow that tried to kill me with every step.
I locked my jaw to keep from complaining.
Even the beautiful distraction of Tarron at my side couldn’t take away my fear for Reed and Maverick.
I took another step, hating every stride that carried us further away from the others.
We should be together.
The single sentence beat against my skull so hard it was a wonder I didn’t fall over dead. My teeth chattered when a burst of wind whipped between the trees.
Tarron cursed and shrugged out of his heavy overcoat. He held it out to me. “I should have made sure your clothes were suited for this.”
“Not your fault that I was kidnapped and had my outerwear taken.” I tried to wave off the offer of his coat. “You need that.”
“I’m fine.” His red cheeks and cracked lips said otherwise, but he continued to shake the coat in my direction.
I shot a look over my shoulder.
Our tracks stretched out in a long, winding path that ducked around trees and beneath limbs. “They’re going to catch up.”
“Of course they are.” Tarron grew impatient enough to ignore my hunched shoulders and pulled my arms away from my stomach, guiding them into the coat sleeves and buttoning it up to my chin.
He pulled the fur-lined hood up and tightened it so that nothing but my eyes and nose were left uncovered.
It smelled like him, like aged whiskey and sin, a heady combination that brought a new level of heat to my body.
“What if they were killed trying to create a distraction?” I clamped my hands together over my mouth. “Shit. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. The cold is getting to me.”
“Mav and Reed are too damned good to be taken out by the likes of those men.” He sounded so confident that I almost believed him.
Almost.
He betrayed his words when a worried little crease appeared between his eyes.
I liked them all too much to consider any of them dying for me.
The horrible showdown happening at the ranger station couldn’t be the worst thing they’d ever faced.
Fuck me. I shouldn’t have feelings for them already, but how could I not after what happened last night?
I’d never fallen for anyone this hard…or this fast. They put their lives on the line for me, and they’d been willing to do anything to please me.
Tarron headed out again, taking his time and breaking a trail for me to follow.
He reached a hand behind him, offering it to me without hesitation.
I took it, and we trudged ahead step by weary step.
My legs ached.
Hell, my whole body ached.
I needed a two-hour soak in a hot tub and a whole bottle of painkillers to work out the stress it had endured.
“Tell me a story. About the three of you.” My toe caught on something under the snow, and my forward momentum pitched me into Tarron’s back.
He whirled to catch me, dragging me close to his chest in a mimicry of how we’d snuggled together last night. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything.” Everything. “Reed told me you were Rangers together. And that you went into the private sector after your contracts were up.”
“What else did he say?” A curious expression lifted the corners of Tarron’s mouth.
He had a nice mouth, with full, firm lips. His blonde hair was a mess of snarls after dealing with the snow and wind.
I ran my hands through the strands, trying to put them in order.
All three men had a similar haircut.
Not quite militaristic but close, with the sides cut down short and the top long enough to fall into their eyes.
I loved it.
I loved the way it accentuated each of their strong jaws and gorgeous eyes.
Tiny threads of silver ran through Tarron’s hair, right at the temples where it was almost invisible.
His blue eyes sparked with laughter when I blushed and dropped my hands. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I liked it.” He squeezed my gloved hands and turned us around so we faced the unbroken expanse of snow.
I pulled my thoughts back to the conversation I’d started. “He didn’t mention anything else.”
“Typical Reed.” Tarron shook his head. “Figures he’d avoid talking about his dishonorable discharge, even though he got kicked out for one of the most honorable fucking things a guy could do.”
Surprise took away my aches and pains. This sounded like the kind of story I should hear. “Will you tell me about it?”
“It’s not pretty.” Tarron moved a limb from our path, holding it up and motioning for me to duck underneath.
The temperature beneath the trees stole my breath, but I managed to snort a laugh.
“I’m not some fragile flower who’s going to wilt at the slightest mention of blood or gore.
I want to know about the three of you.” I craved every last detail from their favorite drink to why Tarron occasionally looked at Maverick with that quiet concern I’d come to consider one of his regular expressions.
“Being delicate has nothing to do with it.” Tarron ran his hand across the grip of a pistol strapped to his waist.
He had enough weapons on his body to take on a small army, but he’d still chosen to obey Maverick and take me out of the house.
If any of them came after us, I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to protect me using every weapon and skill he possessed.
“So, tell me.” I gave him a nudge when he stopped and stared into the distance.
His huff of laughter caused a cloud of white to puff between us.
“We were sent on a covert mission behind enemy lines. I can’t tell you more than that, but I can say that it was one of those doomed missions. We all felt it. Reed, Mav, and I worked together long enough to read each other, and we all felt it.”
A muscle leaped in his jaw. “Then our shit commander made an ass of himself with a shit call that put us all in danger. He forfeited Mav’s life to ensure the mission was a success.” His voice went dark and cold. Everything about him held a razor’s edge of dangerous anger.
I swallowed hard. “What happened?” I understood he couldn’t talk about certain details, but he couldn’t leave the story there either. “Mav’s alive, so something happened.”
My heart broke at the way Tarron’s eyes clouded.
It was like he was experiencing the loss all over again, and I mentally kicked myself for making him relive the memory.
“Maverick was lost in the water. He’d been under too long. We all knew it, but our commander kept telling us to leave. He refused to let anyone go after Mav. His body surfaced as Reed and I tried to dive in to search for him.”
He walked on, his strides savage, but his grip on my hand remained controlled. “We dove in anyway. Even as he shouted for us to get our asses back on the boat, we refused to leave Mav behind.”
Heroes. They were all heroes.
If I never learned anything else about their past, I understood this.
“The mission was considered a success, and Mav was declared dead when we hauled him onto the boat. His heart had stopped. No one knew how long he’d been gone.” Pain laced every word.
He shook his head, shoulders drooping. “He wasn’t breathing, and our commander tried to stop me from performing CPR. Reed pulled a gun on him, held him with a gun to his head while I worked.”
Tarron stopped talking, leaving nothing but our steps crunching through snow as the day unwound around us.
“You saved him.” I worked the words into the sudden silence. We ducked beneath another limb burdened with snow, neither of us slowing.
“The whole thing was enough for a court-martial. Mav received an honorable discharge for medical reasons. All that time without a heartbeat caused irreparable nerve damage. And Reed…”
The lines appeared between his eyes again.
“Reed confronted our commander in the middle of the court hearing. He called him a coward who willingly sacrificed part of his team because he was jealous of Maverick’s ability to inspire loyalty.
He punched our commander in the face and was dishonorably discharged. ”
Poor Reed. “He deserved better.” It didn’t matter what I said, I doubted Tarron heard me.
He was lost in the past, and I didn’t know how to help him come back.
My feelings for them grew deeper as I absorbed their story.
Every breath of crisp Alaska air solidified one thing for certain: I would never be the same after meeting these three men.
They’d changed me for the better.
“I’ve never known anyone as honorable and selfless as the three of you.” Their fearlessness and loyalty to each other inspired and overwhelmed me. “You saved Mav’s life. You both did.”
“We did. Mav’s one of those men who is born to lead.” He shrugged like he’d not done anything extraordinary. “You wouldn’t believe how loyal everyone in our unit was to him. Even more loyal to him than to our commander. He always seemed jealous of Maverick.”
“You think that’s why he did it?”
The weight of the situation hammered into me.
They were heroes, and even when they did everything right, things went wrong.
A moose bellowed from nearby, the sound sending my heart into overdrive.
I cursed beneath my breath and fisted a hand over my heart.
Tarron stopped to examine the land around us. “We’re almost there. Few more hills. We can take a break here for a few minutes.”
He backed us beneath a large pine tree so the limbs and trunk protected us from the worst of the wind. “Yes, I think our commander left Maverick to die because he was afraid our men were more loyal to Mav. I don’t know if they were. Reed and I were, of course, but I can’t speak for the others.”
“If they had the choice between a man like Maverick and the asshole who’d risk all of you, I know who they’d pick. Unless they were all assholes like your commander.” My staunch defense rushed out with heated breath that made Tarron’s coat useless.
My anger fueled my body better than any furnace. “What about you? Mav and Reed were discharged. What made you leave?”
“I nearly took off as soon as they were discharged.” He grimaced. “Probably should have, but I stayed until my contract ended, then I left to join them. By then, Mav had already started his private business, and he and Reed had a few assignments going on. Best choice of my life.”
He brought my hand up and kissed the inside of my wrist.
My pulse fluttered at the soft touch, and I locked my arm around his waist, being careful not to press too tightly on any of the weapons.
“You’re a hero. All of you are. That commander can kiss my ass and go to hell. The three of you are too good to be shackled with someone like him in your past. You saved Maverick’s life. I’m sure he’s grateful for that.”
No matter what kind of nerve damage he’d suffered, he had to be grateful for another day to live.
“You sound like Reed.” Tarron shook snow from his hair and peered toward the hill we needed to climb. “No wonder the two of you get along so well. You’d probably have kicked him in the balls, then punched him in the mouth.”
“Without a doubt.” I pulled in a series of long breaths that helped energize my body for the remainder of our journey. “I still hate that we left them behind. I hope to hell that they catch up soon. Because I’m not going any further than the snowmobiles until they do.”