Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
T oday was the day Lacie would tell him. It was like when someone gets your name wrong but you can’t bring yourself to correct them, so you let it go on and on until it feels too late to tell them. Or when someone serves you green tea even though you don’t like it, and you drink it, and then each time you visit they keep giving it to you thinking you like it, and you can’t bring yourself to tell them otherwise. This was one of those awkward moments… she hadn’t lied, but she hadn’t told the truth either. She had simply not mentioned something. A quite significant something.
The twenty-week scan had been scary at first, then she’d been filled with relief when she was told that all looked great. It was surreal and beautiful, emotional and amazing. Her baby looked quite big on the screen, and was wriggling around, swallowing, and they’d even witnessed a few hiccups. She’d made sure they didn’t accidentally reveal the gender to her. Here she was, at the halfway mark… no turning back now.
She ate a quick breakfast and got dressed and ready, then picked up her phone. Unfortunately, or possible fortunately, she would have to be quick, as her hairdresser had called to ask if she could come in earlier for her appointment to replace a cancellation. There was still enough time to talk to Nathan about her situation without rushing, but without having one of their usual long video chats.
She took a deep breath and pressed the video call button.
With barely any chance for it to ring, his bright, smiling face appeared on the screen.
‘Hi!’
‘Hi yourself,’ she replied.
‘Been waiting patiently for you to get up. You look nice.’
‘Thanks, thought I’d get ready for the day first instead of talking to you in my pyjamas as usual! I have an appointment to get to earlier than planned, so, um…’
‘Let’s cut to the chase then. I wanted to talk to you about something,’ Nathan said. ‘But you did too, didn’t you? So you go first.’
Lacie cleared her throat. ‘It’s okay, you go first, since you’ve been waiting all day.’
His eyes brightened and he looked eager to talk. ‘I had a great time doing Gloria’s garden,’ he said.
‘Oh yes, I saw the photos, amazing. Well done. I bet she’s over the moon with it.’
‘Sure is. Anyway, she’s quite the wise woman, that Gloria. She gave me some good advice about life, and… love. And the thing is,’ his chest rose with a sharp intake of breath, ‘I’ve been thinking a lot, and I know I said a few weeks ago let’s live in the moment, and that’s still my motto, but also…’ His eyes looked at her with a subtle sparkle and her heart beat faster in anticipation of what he might say. ‘I want to see you. Like, really see you, in person.’
Her eyes widened and she went to speak but no words came out.
‘There’s something special here, between us. I know you feel it too.’
Oh, I do. But…
‘And I want a chance to explore that further, see how things feel, when we’re together. I don’t want to think too far ahead, or make plans or promises right now, I just want to explore it and not let distance get in the way of something that could be amazing.’
Lacie sat at the dining table, a wave of dizziness unsteadying her. ‘What are you saying exactly?’
‘I want to book a flight to come and see you. No need to put me up, I’ll arrange a hotel. I don’t know how long for yet, but I can probably reschedule my jobs for another couple of weeks.’
Oh my God. Was this really happening?
‘Nathan, I’m… I’m not sure, I mean, it’s a big thing for you to do, and…’ She ran her hand through her hair and glanced sideways, then returned his gaze. ‘I’d love to see you too, it’s just…’
Her phone pinged with a message from Ellie and the preview hovered on the screen:
I miss Dad :(
Her mind distracted for a moment, she forgot the words she had been trying to say. ‘Sorry, a message came through. Anyway…’ She smiled for a moment. ‘It sounds wonderful, it really does. I’m amazed you would even consider doing that.’
He smiled too. ‘You’re worth it. And I think we’re worth it, to see if there really is anything between us. I don’t know what that would mean afterwards but sometimes you’ve just gotta take a risk, look a few steps ahead but not too far into the distance.’
If only she could. But her situation now required her to look into the distance and plan ahead. It was time to get ready for the baby, gather all the supplies she’d need, organise changes to her business, and–
I can’t stop crying, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Another text from Ellie.
‘Hang on, Nath, I’m just getting messages from Ellie.’ She minimised the call screen and opened Ellie’s message on WhatsApp. Her heart shook. She sent a quick reply:
Hey, it’s okay. It’s normal to feel enormous grief sometimes. Love you.
‘Sorry, she’s having some… emotional trouble.’
‘Oh.’ Nathan’s brow furrowed. ‘Actually, we had a good chat not too long ago, before I did the honey harvest. She was sitting out on the back step and she looked sad. After we talked, she seemed a lot better.’
‘Oh? I didn’t know. Well, thanks for being there for her.’
‘She’s a great girl. Seems to hold the weight of the world on her shoulders though.’
‘Yes, she does.’
‘Anyway, you probably need time to process what I’ve suggested, and you had something you wanted to chat about?’
Ellie texted:
It’s so overwhelming.
Lacie’s mind flitted between Nathan’s revelation, and Ellie’s needs.
‘Yeah, it’s just that I’ve got a lot going on and…’
Ellie messaged:
Feel like I can’t cope.
Lacie let out an anxious sigh. ‘Sorry, Nath, can we take a raincheck? Ellie needs me right now. I have to get going after that too, so I’ll call again when I can?’
He looked slightly disappointed but equally concerned. ‘Sure, family comes first. Hope she’s okay.’
‘Thanks.’ She ended the call and realised it was a strange thing for Nathan to say, having no family of his own. Who was there to put him first when he needed it?
Oh, love, you can cope. It’s tough but you’re strong.
I feel so weak.
Lacie’s heart wanted to reach out and nurture her sister’s.
Do you want me to call? Are you in bed?
In bed but don’t have energy to talk. Can only text. So tired.
Maybe just try to get some sleep, I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better in the morning.
Maybe.
Is there anything else bothering you?
Everything feels so hard.
Have you talked to Mum? Is she still awake?
Lacie wished she was back in the guest room at South Haven and could simply pop into her sister’s room and give her a hug. She waited a moment for her to reply, but when she didn’t, she added to her text:
Don’t worry about disturbing her, she’d rather be there for you.
After a few moments there was still no reply. Hopefully she had fallen asleep.
Lacie exhaled. She had to leave for the hairdresser, so grabbed her bag and put her shoes on. Before putting her phone in her bag, she sent a message to her mum:
Mum, you awake? Ellie is upset and was crying, but I’m not sure if she’s fallen asleep as she hasn’t replied to my last message. Can you check on her?
Dots appeared, then:
Oh, just about to fall asleep but yes, I’ll quickly check… hang on.
Lacie waited, and took a swig from her water bottle. After a little while Martha replied:
She’s fast asleep, poor thing. It reminded me of when she was a baby, peering into her cot at her sweet face and watching her chest rise and fall. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll talk to her first thing when she wakes. Xx
Lacie released a sigh of relief.
Thanks, Mum, sweet dreams xx
Right. Time to get on with the day, think about what Nathan said, then call him again later to tell him her news, because that may very well change his mind.
As Lacie chose some cute, neutral baby clothes while shopping later that afternoon, she stopped a moment when she passed a full-length mirror in the store. She giggled a little, amazed at the position she was in. Her bump was definitely obvious, not huge, but a beautiful rounded belly that was different than looking bloated or carrying some extra fat. Her bra size had also increased, and she’d had to buy some new ones.
‘When are you due?’
Lacie glanced to the side toward the voice, belonging to another woman, also with a pregnant belly, though larger than hers.
‘February. And you?’
‘February also.’ She smiled. Lacie must have looked surprised, as the woman added, ‘I’m having twins, hence my hugeness.’
‘Oh,’ Lacie responded. ‘Wow, congratulations.’ She glanced in her shopping cart at the baby clothes, many in varying shades of blue. ‘Both boys, or one of each?’
‘Both boys. Husband is over the moon. I am too of course, but growing up with four brothers, whoa! It’s gonna be a crazy ride.’
Lacie smiled. One was enough to think about, she couldn’t imagine having two at once.
‘Let me guess, you haven’t found out, or you’re a fan of going gender neutral?’
Lacie glanced briefly at her selection of clothing. ‘Not finding out.’
‘You’re strong, I couldn’t hold out till the birth!’
‘You’re strong, carrying twins,’ Lacie said.
‘Thanks, but I had no choice in the matter. And we’re all strong, us pregnant women, aren’t we?’
She nodded. ‘I guess we are, though I’m feeling pretty tired and not very strong!’
‘Ah, you’ll be fine. It’s normal. Anyway,’ she glanced at the baby equipment aisle, ‘gotta keep going before my tenth visit to the bathroom for the day.’
‘I hear ya.’ Lacie chuckled. ‘All the best.’
‘You too.’ She smiled
Warmth rushed through Lacie’s body. It was nice to connect with someone else going through the same thing, although she was sure the woman wasn’t indulging in a long-distance romance with a man on the other side of the world.
She eyed the blue newborn clothes, and then the pink. Her heart fluttered at their cuteness. She could hardly believe she would have a tiny baby to hold in her arms next year. She was tempted to buy one of each colour, but kept her resolve to wait. She had a big enough family that they would surely send over cute baby presents as soon as they found out, so the ones she had in her cart were enough for now.
When she walked towards the baby equipment aisle, her phone rang. Being a Saturday afternoon, she thought it must be one of her friends checking what she was doing tonight, though they knew she wasn’t up for the usual happenings they’d enjoyed before the pregnancy. She much more preferred a cosy evening on the couch these days, especially now the cooler weather was starting to arrive.
‘Huh?’ She eyed the caller ID and answered. ‘Mum? Is everything okay?’
‘Oh, Lacie! I didn’t want to wake the others yet, apart from Matt, he’s with me.’
‘Mum, what is it?’ Fear lurched like a slingshot in her chest.
‘It’s Ellie, she’s in hospital, we just arrived with the ambulance, she…’
Dizziness swept through Lacie’s entire body and her eyes searched frantically for a seat. She abandoned the cart and rushed out of the store, sitting on the nearest available seat outside.
‘She took too many sleeping pills.’ Her mum sobbed through the phone. ‘If she hadn’t called me from her bed just before passing out, I don’t know what… I can’t imagine… oh, Lace, I can’t believe this is happening!’
In the background her brother said, ‘Hey, it’s going to be okay, Mum.’
‘Oh my God. I didn’t realise, I mean, I thought she was…’ Lacie’s head was spinning and she gripped the edge of the seat. ‘Is she okay?’
‘They’re working on her now. She must’ve woken after a few hours and couldn’t get back to sleep. There were scrunched up tissues next to her pillow, like she’d been crying. The sound of my phone woke me – thank God I had my volume switched on – but all I heard was a faint “help”. I rushed to her room and found her barely conscious, but awake enough for her to point to the medication and say “too much”.’
‘Oh, Mum, I should have known. She wasn’t quite right earlier. What did the doctors say?’
‘Nothing yet, they’re too busy. Matt came straight away, he arrived at the same time as the paramedics and unlocked the door so they could get her into the ambulance. She was still breathing but they gave her oxygen and did some checks and told us to head to Welston hospital emergency department.’
Lacie’s hands trembled and her eyes stung. The world seemed to be spinning around her. She felt so helpless and terrified. Her heart raced and she had to take a few sips of water. A passer-by asked if she was okay and she nodded and waved them away.
‘We just have to wait. Oh, I’m so scared.’ Martha sobbed and Matt’s voice came onto the line.
‘Lace, are you okay?’
She nodded even though he couldn’t see her. ‘I don’t know, I mean, yes, but no. I’m so worried! What can I do?’
‘Nothing, it’s okay, I’ll stay with Mum and I’ll call the others. I’ll let you know as soon as there’s an update.’
Waiting for an update was unbearable. Lacie stood and took a deep breath to steady herself, then walked as fast as she could back to her car, thankfully she had decided to drive now that she was getting bigger and more tired, instead of walking and using public transport.
‘I’m flying over,’ she blurted to Matt. She couldn’t just wait and hope.
‘But, Lace, there’s nothing you can do right now, and it’d be a couple of days at least before you’d arrive. Don’t put yourself through too much, we’ve got this.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘No. I’m on my way home and then I’ll book the first available flight. I’ll let you know the details.’
‘Well, if you’re sure. You’re allowed to travel?’
‘Yes. I’ll stop by the medical centre first to see if I can get an urgent check up and a doctor’s letter for travel just in case. I’ve made up my mind, I’m coming.’
There was no way she wanted to be overseas when her sister needed her. And no way she was ready to lose another family member.