Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
Helen
My room is quiet except for the hum of the heating vent and the low sound of someone breathing in my ear. I pull the blanket up higher. It smells like fabric softener and home.
I’m still lost in a dream I was having, one involving a certain housemate and me doing very naughty, very naked things together.
It was a nice dream, no doubt the product of that kiss yesterday.
The one that kept me up half the night, tossing and turning as I relived it.
The one that had me lying awake, shamelessly watching Teddy sleep.
My eyes had traced the curve of his lips, the rise and fall of his sculpted chest, the light sprinkling of hair on his muscular forearms. Ugh!
Why are they so damn sexy? Flexor Carpi Ulnaris, Palmaris Longus, Pronator Teres, I whispered to myself, naming the more than twenty muscles in his arm to calm down. That’s how I finally fell asleep.
Now I wiggle and stretch, waking slowly.
“If you keep pressing your ass against my morning hard on, I’m going to forget real quick that we’re just friends, Helen.” Teddy’s voice is in my ear, so close and loud and sleep-rough it makes me jump.
“Argh!” I jolt, my heart slamming against my ribs. We’ve moved in the middle of the night, shifting until we’re both lying on our sides, with his chest pressed against my back, spooning me. This is the closest we’ve been since the kiss yesterday, since that night a year ago.
That’s when I come to my senses, and I feel it all.
His warm breath on the back of my neck. His hand, heavy on the bare skin of my hip.
My nightgown rode up while I slept, leaving me exposed.
I’m just absorbing the fact that I’m basically naked from the waist down and he’s definitely naked from the waist up when his fingers tease the edge of my flimsy underwear and something firm presses against my backside.
Oh my god.
Is it possible to be instantly turned on and totally mortified at the same time?
Yes. Yes, apparently it is.
He shifts slightly and exhales a shaky breath that smells like the toothpaste he used last night.
Unfair. He doesn’t even have morning breath.
I turn my head into my pillow, breathe out, then sniff.
Good. Think I’m okay.
Wait…what’s happening right now?
It’s that damn kiss, I realize. The mistletoe one. It was too good. I want it again.
Without thinking, I arch back into him, and he groans.
“Helen.” His voice is a low growl. A threat, maybe a promise. “Don’t test me.” His grip tightens on my hip, fingers digging in. Sparks radiate out from that simple contact.
“What—what if,” I swallow hard and dare to ask, “we stopped being friends, just for a little while?” Thank God I’m facing away so he can’t see how hard I’m blushing.
What am I even doing? This is a terrible idea, yet somehow, I don’t want to stop.
Caught in the haze between my dream and reality, it hits me.
He’s right here.
In bed.
With me.
Teddy has gone completely still. As frozen as the ornaments on the Christmas tree in the next room. “What do you mean not friends, like enemies?”
“Yes!” I blurt out, grasping onto the idea like it’s a life vest and I’m drowning. With passion, I say, “I hate you.”
He flinches against my back. “Ow, harsh.”
“Oh!” My hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Sorry, you know I suck at this.”
“What’s this?” He sounds genuinely baffled, and how can I blame him? I’m pulling a complete 180, blindsiding him before he’s even had morning coffee.
“Umm…me seducing you?” I wince. I must be really bad if I have to spell it out.
“By telling me you hate me?”
“We can be enemies, just for the next thirty minutes, an hour tops.” This is a very reasonable plan, I tell myself.
Simple, really, all I have to do is stay in control.
Keep my heart out of it. I aced organic chemistry, for god’s sake.
This is nothing compared to that. More confidently, I tell him, “We touch each other, just this once. Get it out of our systems.”
Teddy lets out a low laugh. “You’re giving me way too much credit if you think I’d last an hour with you, Hellcat.” His voice turns soft. “Besides, I could never be your enemy.”
I melt. Right into the mattress. Damn him for being sweet.
“I don’t know…” He hesitates, shifts like he’s about to move away.
Desperate to convince him, I spit out, “I’m not talking about sex. That’s too much.” It really is. If I sleep with him, I’ll be ruined when he leaves.
“So, what?” There’s a hopeful tilt to his words when he says, “Mouths?”
“Hands,” I say firmly, like we’re negotiating pizza toppings rather than what kind of sex we’re about to have. “Just hands. Just this once. Then we go back to being friends.”
He’s silent for so long that I’m convinced he’ll say no, and my heart plummets.
How can I ever face him again? After I humiliated myself like this?
I’m going to have to move out of my own condo.
Let him have it and go live somewhere else.
Maybe I can move into a sublet? A yurt? A convent?
I’m sifting through my options, ordering them from least to most likely based on cost and distance from the hospital when soft lips brush the side of my neck, just under my ear.
That simple contact robs me of all logical thought. If you asked me to name the four chambers of the heart, I’d come up blank.
“You mean this hand?” he whispers, his voice raw and unbelievably close. A hand, large, warm, familiar, slips beneath the edge of my nightgown and travels north, bumping over my ribs and settling just under the curve of my breast. “Here?”
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Touch me there.
Without hesitation, I press against his erection, which has become bigger, firmer. He groans again, low and sexy. Like it’s costing him something not to flip me over and take more, but I’m glad for the restraint. I can’t look him in the face right now.
With a quick tug he pulls the top of my nightgown down, freeing my breasts.
There’s a slight tremble in his fingers when he reaches my nipple, which he slowly, sensually circles.
A moan slips from my lips. My breath hitches, every coherent thought dissolving into a hot buzzing behind my eyes.
He pinches one nipple gently, then slides his hand over to tend to the other.
I’m already circling my hips, a needy ache between my legs.
“Teddy, please,” I whisper.
“Hmm.” His fingers tickle down my belly and brush the apex of my thighs, feather-light.
“Here?” I chase that hand with my hips, focused solely on the sensation.
He explores more firmly, teasing my clit.
Teddy pulls me closer, partially sitting us up so I'm basically in his lap and he can reach me better.
His mouth finds my neck again. Teddy presses soft, open-mouth kisses into my skin.
I extend my body, arching my back, opening myself to him.
He moves closer so he can slip one finger, then two inside me.
“That feels good. Right there,” I whisper. Memories from last year layer over this moment. It was like this back then too. Like he could read my mind, predict how to best pleasure me without words.
He must be thinking the same thing because he says huskily, “I know. I remember.”
I go completely still for half a second, heart slamming so hard I feel it in my teeth.
When I never heard back from him after last year it had stung.
I figured I was just a number to him, a notch in his bedpost, but if that’s all it was how does he know how to touch me like this?
How does he remember what I like? He trails kisses down my neck, sucks on the tender skin of my collarbone, and I lose my train of thought.
I press back into him, reveling in how his hips move behind me.
I can feel his shaft rub against me. I let my hips roll, stimulating both of us at once.
“Want you so bad,” he groans, guttural as the long languid strokes of his hand speed into shorter thrusts.
His fingers come out, circle my clit until I’m panting, then plunge back deep into me, which is easy to do since I’m drenched with desire.
It’s a pattern he sets, teasing me until my entire body is on fire.
Until my mind leaves my body. I’m so, so close.
“Such a pretty mess you’re making. All over my hand.
” His mouth trails higher. He bites down on my earlobe, gentle enough for me to feel it, hard enough to burn.
My desire heightens at the sensation, and I cry out as I orgasm.
Waves of pleasure extend from my core, traveling outward as my body clenches hard and then releases.
He takes his time, gradually lightening the pressure of his hand, following me as I shudder, slowly coming down from my climax.
Once I’ve stopped trembling, I roll over to face him.
I want him to feel it too. This high he just gave me.
With his help, I slide his underwear down to his thighs, enough to expose how hard and ready he is.
As soon as my fingers close around his length, I tighten my grasp and slide it up and down, setting a fast pace.
Teddy grabs my shoulder like he needs to hold on.
I finally open my eyes to see he’s staring right at me, his pupils blown wide with want, hunger, desire, and something deeper.
Wonder? Awe? His gaze drags up and down my body, lingering on my breasts, then fixed on my face.
It’s intense, the way he traps me with his eyes, like he won’t let go.
It only takes a few minutes before his entire body goes rigid.
“Fuck, Helen,” Teddy cries out. “I’m going to come.”
“Do it,” I tell him. “I want you to.”
Like he was waiting for my permission, his fingers tighten on me, digging in until it’s almost painful, and his pelvis gives a final thrust into my palm as warmth floods between us. I cup my hands over him, trying to capture it, but it leaks between my fingers and drips onto the sheets.
“Shit,” says Teddy, staring down at the damp spot that’s slowly spreading. “We didn’t think that through, did we?”
I giggle, light and giddy and…happy.
He makes me so happy.
Teddy chuckles along with me, blushing in a way that’s impossibly adorable. He covers his eyes, sinks deeper into the pillow, and murmurs an embarrassed, “I’m like a thirteen-year-old. I can’t control myself around you.”
My chest puffs out with that. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this proud.
Turning an even deeper shade of red, he points to the bed like it’s a crime scene. “We need to clean this up before your parents see.”
“Don’t worry. The washer and dryer are down on this level. We can do it now.”
Teddy’s up and out of bed before I can fully process everything that just happened and when he won’t look at me, when he rushes into the bathroom without another word, I pretend it doesn’t matter. I lay on my back and watch the ceiling fan above me spin in a slow, lazy circle.
Just this once, I said. Now, I wonder who I was lying to? Him or me?
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