Chapter 11 #2
My only serious relationship was with Clint Jacobsen.
He worked in finance for Northern Trust Corporation and we met when he was walking across the street.
I had looked down when I dropped my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in my lap, and when I looked back up he was right in front of me crossing the street.
I screeched to a stop and didn’t run him over by sheer inches.
After much apologizing he said he’d forgive me if I met him for dinner.
Pretty cool pick up line I had to admit.
He was handsome, sweet, and funny. As things grew a little more serious, the fear of being happy and things imploding almost consumed me.
I secretly saw a therapist to try to get a grip, but after two sessions she wanted to focus on “resolving my Levi issues” and that was a fuck no.
I’d done my best to bury that shit and no matter what a professional said, opening that box was not a thing I could do.
I knew with all my being that Clint was a good man, but what if he grew tired of me? What if one day he didn’t want us anymore? What if I woke up and he was gone? This happens to people all over the globe, and it’d happened to me with the only man I’d loved, and it broke me.
The pain and thoughts of Levi 24/7 made me wish I hadn’t survived the accident.
He didn’t just disappear; he took a part of me with him that would likely never return.
The trust part, the part that jumped without a net knowing his arms would catch me.
If he could do that after what I thought was the strongest love in existence, it would likely happen again.
I mean maybe someday? Or not. I went to a dark place that took so long to climb out of, I didn’t know if I could do it again.
While I’m no shrink, I knew the desperate job search I did in all states but my own confirmed I was just not ready for a serious relationship.
Yes, I didn’t have the balls to end it like a grown up so a perfect job offer across the country was an easy solution for those of us who don’t like conflict.
Sure we said we’d try the long distance thing but over time the calls became less frequent, and I brushed off him visiting or me going back to Chicago because of my crazy work schedule. But it was probably for the best.
I figure I’d get my first cat in the summer. I never dreamed I’d grow up to be a super cool crazy cat lady, but I’m pretty sure I’d kill it. Not the cat, just the living my life solo part.
Someone once said it’s beautiful to be alone. To be alone does not mean to be lonely. It means the mind is not influenced or contaminated by society. Yeah, I’m clinging to that shit like the Kardashians’ cling to filler.
I walked through the trees and before me stood a handsome Evergreen, and I got to it.
I used my pliers but after cutting only three branches, there was rustling of leaves and loud cackles.
WTH? I spun around to see three wild turkeys running in my direction.
I let out a scream in an octave I wasn’t even aware I could hit, threw my pliers at the leader of the killer turkey gang, and hauled ass.
They were blocking my path back to the house so I bolted in the other direction.
In front of me stood a tree that had some low branches.
Without a thought I jumped on a branch and climbed up.
It was a little concerning that the lower branches seemed to be breaking right off the damn tree while I made my way up as I hoped to eventually climb down.
After a few stumbles, I arrived at a high perch.
Did I ever expect to have to climb a tree in a forest in Colorado to escape possible rabid turkeys?
Short answer, no. Long answer, heeellll nnnooo.
As my attempted killers scampered around at the base of my tree, I immediately took the pine cones close by and threw them at my attackers.
Why didn’t I bring my cell freaking phone?
I knew I’d run a little ways from the house, but certainly Levi would find me.
Good news it appeared turkeys don’t climb trees.
I sat quietly counting thirteen pine cones above me.
“Langley, Where are you?”
Relief washed through me as the deep voice echoed throughout the forest. “Allie!”
“I’m here! I climbed a tree!”’
“Why in the hell did you go tree climbing?” His voice moved closer.
“I was attacked by turkeys! They’re at the bottom of my tree!”
His chuckle echoed everywhere. “Are you kidding me right now? You can’t be left unsupervised for ten minutes?”
“It’s not me!”
He spoke like a robot. “Warning, unsupervised adult may exhibit erratic behavior and will be highly unpredictable.”
A few second later Levi was running, yelling, and waving his arms in the air and the turkeys took off. He looked up and shook his head. “I guess they like short people.”
I chucked a pine cone and it bounced off his head. “You watch it. Short girls are like cute tiny ninjas of death who are the perfect height to do serious damage.”
As my eyes looked down, I realized how far up in the tree I actually was. My heart hiccupped as I found I was a little more scared of heights than I’d realized.
“Come on down.”
“Uh, okay.” I held on to the branch my bum sat on and lowered my foot. “I’m not sure how to do this.”
“You had a brother. Didn’t you tree climb as a kid?”
“Will climbed trees. I played Barbies under the trees.”
“Okay, I’ll guide you down. Just follow my instructions.”
“The ground looks so far away. And, as hard as it is to believe, I’m kinda a klutz.”
“You don’t think I remember that? The girl who was leaning too far over the ledge and literally landed on me?” He chuckled. “I still think you did that on purpose.”
It was the perfect meet cute if we were a romcom movie.
Me with Lexi and Rachel, I wasn’t supposed to go but snuck out to go to a concert a few towns over.
I was sitting on a railing I shouldn’t have been on because it was stupid, and as I threw my arms in the air when Coldplay took the stage, I tumbled over and landed on Levi who was with his friends below me.
We were connected at the hip for the next twelve hours.
And the next year. There was an instant chemistry that wove between us.
“Why in the hell would I throw myself over a ten foot ledge?”
He did a spin. “Clearly you found me irresistible.”
“I did not.” I was glad he couldn’t see the crimson that came to my cheeks.
“Those kisses said different.”
My words hopped on a train and bolted after the turkeys. I wanted to say he was wrong, but he wasn’t.
“Here’s how this is going to go. You are going to do what I say, and I’m going to guide you down. You ready?”
I nodded.
“Under your right foot is a sturdy branch. I want you to reach your foot down until you feel it. It’s about a ten inches below you.”
I slid down and got my foot on the branch.
“Good girl. Now turn around and hold the branch you were just sitting on.”
I followed directions while his deep toned good girl gave me a tummy flip.
“Nice. Now lower your left foot about ten inches and you’ll feel another branch.”
I held on for dear life and found the branch, but when I stepped on it there was a crack, and I pulled my foot back.
“Okay, we’re going to go for the one just below that one.”
I yelled. “Raise your hand if you’re sick of this shit.”
“Just do it.”
“Don’t be getting all bossy.”
“You like a little bossy.”
“Shut up. Don’t flip my bitch switch, I warning you now.”
I followed his directions and a few moments later I could see I was getting close.
“Alright, you’re out of branches and probably don’t want to fall six feet, so slowly turn yourself around, and I’ll do the rest.”
Memories of him doing the rest ran rampant and brought more heat to my face. I turned and saw his arms up as my feet slid down. His hands had my upper thighs then my waist, and a second later my body slid over his chest and my wobbly feet were on solid ground.
As I stared at his chest I realized his hands were still holding my waist. My breath hitched in my throat, and I knew if I looked up he’d read me like a book and know the effect he still had on me.
I didn’t want him to see that one look could wreck me.
That the sound of his voice still awoke butterflies.
“Well, thank you.” I spoke to his chest as we stood frozen. I took a small step backwards, but he didn’t release me, and I didn’t know how I felt about that.
My eyes climbed up his muscular chest, past his perfect jaw line to those eyes that were intense, and I was suddenly shaking a little.
I gulped air as his eyes bore into me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to whip off my shirt and rub against him like a cat, or haul ass into the forest to disappear to never been seen again.
“Hi.”
My stomach fell to my feet when his eyes dropped to my lips.
Was he going to kiss me? His eyelids drooped as his pupils flared.
I knew I should step away, but also knew a stick of dynamite wouldn’t have moved me from the place I stood.
His eyes were asking permission, and I had no freaking clue what my eyes were saying back, but his hand went to the back of my neck as he closed the distance between us.
We were just an inch apart and leaning in and the sides of our noses touched, and I felt his breath on my mouth.
This is so bad, step away!
My pulse spiked as he leaned closer and brushed his lips against mine.
Once, twice, as my eyes closed, and I wanted his mouth on mine more than anything I’d ever wanted.
Even chilled Dove chocolate. It was the wrongest of all wrongs, but he was my kryptonite.
My brain had always been strong, but feeling his breath on my face was still a high; a euphoric state that sent a low hum throughout my body.
His smell, those eyes, and his hands on me were what I’d missed for seven years.
But there I was, in a quiet snow-covered forest next to the house that would only contain us until the others arrived.
Visions of his fingers sliding across my skin, the way his touch left me willing to give up anything for it to continue.
I suddenly realized I had a hold of his jacket.
A firm hold as if I was afraid, he’d step away from me.
My brain came to life as it hit me that things could happen here. Things could happen!
Oh, mother of pearl, WTH was I doing?
I pulled away with my mind feeling like a pile of useless mush. “This can’t, we can’t.”
He whispered, “I know you feel whatever is going on between us. It’s fire.”
“We’re the past. The past has to stay there.” It was a strong sentence but came out a weak airy whisper.
He leaned down and kissed my cheek and my eyes closed as his mouth slipped down to my jaw while my tummy twisted.
My voice cracked. “We’re just friends for a few days, then nothing. It’s the way it is.”
A tingle slithered up my spine when his whiskers slid down my neck.
It felt so good I was melting. Even with the slightest of friction between us every nerve ending in my body stood at attention.
I was certain I’d end up a puddle on the ground at any second.
His presence was a magnet that drew me in.
My body betrayed me with even one glance.
He muttered against my neck. “Friends?”
I stepped back and straightened my coat. “That’s what we are. Sort of. Maybe not.” Could I sound more like an idiot?
The corner of his mouth turned up as if the ring master was patronizing me. “I got it.”
I needed to be strong. I knew what it was like after he was gone. I’d lived it and there unbearable pain, and while I stitched up my heart, it took far too long to get over him.
“Well, that’s good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” I cleared my throat. “Let me cut these branches so I can go to the church.” I side eyed him. “And you can totally stay here. I can do it myself.”
“I’ll help now and at the church.” His arm nudged mine as he passed. “You better stick close to me. You never know when the turkeys will return for shorty and superhero Levi will have to come to the rescue.”
While I gave an annoyed huff as he walked away, I made sure he was in sight as I shoved the image of a bare-chested Levi in a superhero cape out my ear.