Chapter 15 Allie
FIFTEEN
ALLIE
THIS IS DONE
As I walked up the hill I decided if I stayed in my bedroom until everyone else arrived, I’d be able to control myself as the storage closet incident was playing on a loop in my noggin.
Because I didn’t like that I liked thinking of the low groan that rumbled through him when my fingers touched his skin.
And the phone calls. Clearly, he’s meeting up with some chick at 7:00 to do something when he goes home.
Yes, I’d focus on the staying-in-my-room plan. The staying-away-from-the-hot-one plan. Then my mind grew exceptionally quiet. I was suddenly suspicious that I was up to something I didn’t want me to know about. Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fired.
After hiking up the hill that was steeper than I remembered when going down, I reached the deck and looked over my shoulder to see Levi was gone.
I glanced to the forest, but he wasn’t in sight.
Maybe he went for a walk and would just keep on walking.
I needed to learn to love the sound of my feet walking away from things that aren’t good for me because those kisses could take me out altogether.
Suddenly the world around me faded away as I saw Levi’s shoulders and head come up from the ice and then disappear again; the ice had broken. A cold wave washed over me as I kicked into gear and ran back toward the lake.
“I’m coming!”
I ran down the hill and grabbed the toboggan Levi had sled down on before my legs sprinted across the ice and toward him as his head and shoulders appeared again.
“Levi!”
As I approached, he grabbed onto the ice around him trying to pull his body out. “Stop right there!” His teeth were chattering and the fear in his eyes squeezed my heart so hard I was dizzy. “Everything I’m grabbing is breaking. Stay back!”
“I’m going to slide the sled to you. I’ll hold the rope, you climb on in the water, and I’ll pull you out.”
His body went back into the water except for his head. “Lookey here, does Langley have a side-hustle as a superhero?”
“Bet your ass I do. I’ll be damned if you’re going die here on the ice.” I dropped to my knees and pushed the sled across toward him. “I have plans for that later.”
He chuckled. “Going out in a blaze of glory, am I?”
I lay on my stomach realizing that was the only way I could keep hold of the rope tied to the toboggan.
Fear was crushing me as I looked at the face that tore at every one of my senses.
“I felt a spree coming on this morning. I wasn’t sure if it was shopping or killing at the time, so I came up with a few options for both. ”
He grabbed the sled. “I think the ice will break, I don’t want you to—”
I forced a smile as a tear rolled down my cheek. “We’ve got this.”
He set the sled on the edge of the ice as his teeth were chattering harder. “Allie, please don’t cry.”
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “Big girls don’t cry. They pop a couple of Xanax, wash it down with vodka, and set your car on fire. Now let’s get this show on the road so I can partake in all of those.”
His hands rested on the sled.
“Hold on!”
I got to my feet and slowly pulled the heavy sled, but with every inch I pulled, the ice around the sled broke and Levi remained in the water.
“Okay, let’s try this. You push the sled up and jump on so we can get it on top of the ice, and I’ll run like hell.”
“I’ve seen you run, and like hell would not be a synonym for that action.”
“Okay, smartass. Is this really the time to be insulting my athletic abilities? Never pick a fight with a woman, we’re full of rage and sick of everyone’s shit. Now, you ready?”
“Yes.”
I held the rope and started to run at the same time the sled popped out of the water with Levi on it. I ran as fast as my legs would take me, and after a moment I looked back to see him sliding on top of the ice away from the water.
With a new fear of frozen lakes, I kept running until we reached the bench.
I helped him stand as his body was shaking out of control. I ripped off my coat and put it over him.
I put his arm over my shoulder and led him up the hill.
“Well, this blows ass.” His soaking wet clothing was quickly saturating my shirt. “I think we just had a fucktastrophy.”
“Yes. Clearly ice was a bad idea.”
His teeth chattered as he laughed. “Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.”
Boy, could that be my new life mantra or what?
We got to the back door, and I pushed it open and led him upstairs. “I’ll turn on the tub for you.”
We reached his room and went into the bathroom where a deep soaker tub awaited. I turned it on and when I spun around, he stood pale and shaking out of control looking dazed.
“Why don’t you get out of those clothes?” I grabbed a towel from the hook on the wall.
His teeth chattered. “Now you’re talking.”
“Watch it. I’ve had enough to deal with today without having to make your death look like an accident. Don’t make me sorry I saved you.”
“Thanks for that, by the way.”
“I’ll go grab you some new clothes from your suitcase, okay?”
He was staring at the filling tub in silence. “Do you want me to help you?”
He stood as if I hadn’t said a word. Could he hear me?
“Levi?”
“What? I’m having trouble, uh, I don’t know.”
“Let me help you.” I pulled off his coat and set it in the sink.
I pushed it up exposing his bare chest while he stood silently shaking.
My eyes skimmed over his tattoo. My heart was thumping in my ears.
Memories swarmed me like bees around a hive as I helped get his arm out of his shirt as water dripped on the floor.
Me sitting on his lap in the tattoo parlor as he held my hand. The tattoo he designed on the back of the room service menu in our hotel room. The tattoo he got on our wedding day.
I looked up to see his mind was back in lake. In the icy water reliving what could’ve happened. My stomach cinched at the thought and the back of my eyes burned before I cleared my throat.
“Levi, let’s get you into the warm water.”
He looked at me like I was speaking Bulgarian, but with a dip of his chin he acknowledged; he was in shock.
“I’ll be right back.” I took a step toward the door when he caught my wrist, and I turned back to see his glassy eyes looking down at me.
“Thank you, Allison.”
The wind was knocked out of me at the somber look in his eyes. “Now don’t you go full naming me, Levi Andrew Dawson. I’m going to turn around, you get the rest of your clothes off, and I’ll toss them into the washer.”
I heard the soaking pants drop to the floor and the sound of water as he entered. I was in the same room as naked Levi. My twenty-four-hour ago self would’ve never believed this shit.
I scooped up the clothes and ran to the laundry room before I made some hot chocolate and returned to the bathroom with a knock.
“Here, drink this.”
I set the mug on the corner of the tub as I covered my eyes to ensure I didn’t see anything. I’d like to say his glorious smile had reappeared, but he lay back in the tub staring in the distance and it squished something in my middle. I pulled out my phone.
“I figure some of your magical Christmas music might get you out of this annoying funk.” What was the most upbeat tune? I opted for Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. I set the phone on the vanity and turned back and realized how much it tore at me to see him this way.
“I’m going get you something to wear.”
I went back into his room and stopped outside the door.
This was his space. Where he slept, even if for only a few days.
The place where he took off his clothes and maybe did push-ups naked.
It was beyond bizarre when I approached his closet.
I slowly slid the door open to find some clothing on hangers and some still inside his suitcase.
I touched each shirt, and would it be weird if I smelled them? If so, I didn’t do that.
These were his things. The stuff he bought at stores while not thinking of me.
He’d built himself a new life after he’d left.
Had he ever contemplated finding me? I left home the second I could to escape the memories of him, but how was he able to just move on and never look back? Did he think of me?
I grabbed a red hoodie from the hanger and rummaged through the suitcase to retrieve a pair of charcoal grey sweats. I inhaled his socks like a sick lunatic as the fresh sent of fabric softener slid across my nose as visions of Levi sliding down my body zipped through my noggin. Stop!
I closed the closet and couldn’t help but notice his wallet on the dresser.
It was totally out of line, but I opened it.
He had a smoking hot driver’s license photo which seemed unfair to the rest of the world, debit card, and credit card.
As I flipped it over there was a little pocket.
My heart stopped when I pulled out a photo.
It was worn with bent corners, but there was no mistaking the faces.
It was a laughing Levi sitting on the tailgate of his blue Ford truck, a fire below him, and me on his lap.
My arms were wrapped around his neck while I kissed his cheek.
Of course a bottle of tequila sat beside him because we walked the line of crazy and fucking crazy back then.
The brink of sanity at times, but the emotions and all-consuming love were my addiction.
We couldn’t get enough of each other, and it drove my parents crazy.
My dad would ground me time after time, but there was no keeping me away from him.
The straight A student with the hellion was a concern to an entire community.
But being in his arms was all I wanted. Our connection was inexplicable.
We brought the passion and craziness out of one another.
While I’d like to say it was all a mistake, I think I’d been seeking anything like it since the day he left.
I put the photo back but quickly grabbed it once again and stared a little longer.