Chapter 57 Levi
FIFTY-SEVEN
LEVI
PICKLED HERRING
I did the only thing I could to prevent bodily harm to dickhead, Royce or Will; I changed and sat in Evan’s car until people came out and got into the van.
We drove through the magical Christmas town that now had a black cloud over it. The street where we kissed, got a tattoo, and her panties caught on fire in the private dining room at the Bistro; it was a punch to the gut.
“I can’t believe this.”
“They had a pretty good thing when they were together. I know it sucks, but shit happens.”
“This is all jacked up. She doesn’t want to be with him, I know it.”
“She’s a smart girl. You have to respect this.”
I stared out the window. “There are approximately 1,010,000 words in the English language, but I can’t string enough together to express how much I want to hurt you right now.”
“Levi.”
My mind was a mega maniac solution seeking vessel at the moment. It was out lassoing up anything that would help me find a way to get her alone.
The big van stopped and as if reading my mind Allie flew out of it and into the church. A few moments later the others exited, and I followed them inside.
My stomach clenched as my eyes spotted the two perfectly decorated Christmas trees on the altar causing memories of the storage room to take flight. How I missed the good old days.
The girls entered a room down the hall from the sanctuary. As pussy of a move it was, I jumped behind a large fake plant at the end of the hall and watched Will, Evan, and Clint enter the sanctuary.
As my focus returned to the hall, Allie exited one door and entered another. I power walked down to see she was in the ladies room. I opened a door next to the bathroom to see a Sunday school classroom filled with little tables and a window. Bingo.
I closed the door behind me and entered. Once the screen was out, I hopped through the window and into the snow before examining the other window in front of me; it was a good window that slid up. Old and workable.
I pushed with all my might and got it opened about ten inches.
“Allie.” I whispered. “Langley?”
I jumped when she appeared in front of the window.
“Go away, Levi.”
“I need to tell you something.”
“Well, I need to tell you that Levi and evil are spelled with the same letters. Yeah, how did I miss that shit? While I may have had dumbass stamped across my forehead in glitter recently, I’m well aware of the reality, and it’s time for you to go straight to hell.”
“Well, that’s just plain mean.”
She flashed a toothy smile. “I know. Bye.”
She started to turn when I reached in and caught her wrist.
“No.”
“No? You’re not the boss of me, Levi Dawson.” Her eyes went wide. “I hate you.”
“Langley, tell me what’s changed here? I mean last night—”
“Last night sucked.” She pulled her wrist, but I didn’t let go.
“You’re not marrying Clint.”
“I don’t give a tiny little rat’s ass what you think. Clint is a good man. Good for me.”
“So is pickled Herring.”
Her nose wrinkled. “What?”
“Yeah.” Where was I going with this? “It’s rich in omega-3 fatty acids and Vitamin D.”
“Huh?”
“Some things seem good for you but are fucking garbage.”
She pulled her wrist again, but I held on.
“You just shut your face. Maybe I want to be with him.”
“You’re lying.”
She gasped. “Me? Me lying? You are the biggest liar in the history of the world. You have dark motives and think you can use your stupid smile to get under my skin.”
“You’re adorable when you’re pissed.”
“Just leave me alone.”
I pulled her closer. “You can’t close your eyes without seeing me.”
“That’s it! I’m telling Will and he will kill you today.”
I chuckled. “We both know that won’t happen.”
“Let go of me before I scream. I hate you.”
“Why? Why do you hate me?”
“Just shut up.”
“Langley, this makes no sense.”
“I saw your phone, okay?”
“Okay?”
She leaned in close, and my heart jumped when I smelled her perfume which sent images of her mouth on mine. That body moving against me.
“I saw your stupid Brazilian women.”
“Brazilian women?”
“Yes. And who doesn’t have a screen lock anyway. You’re dumber than I ever imagined. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.”
“Allie—”
A sadness washed over her. “Just let me go.”
“Yes, I’ve been with women. Too many women, and it’s been wrong. Every time someone might be getting too close to me, I bolt. Nobody could ever be what you are.”
“That’s bullshit.” She spoke in a harsh whisper. “I know about the couch!”
“Couch?”
Her voice dripped with distain. “Like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her whisper was razor sharp. “You’re in a relationship buying domestic items with that woman. You were all I don’t do relationships but you’re in one. You lied to me and made me the other woman! Does she know about your posse of women? You are the worst kind of man ever!”
“She’s works for me—”
Gasp. “You’re the scum of the earth. Hurting people and breaking, probably, like every HR rule in existence.” Her eyes were fire. “I hope the worker people who deal with these issues track you down, and, well, do whatever they do to people who break HR rules. Yeah, they’ll put you away!”
Was it a shitty time to have laughter escape me? The answer was a strong yes.
“I hate you.”
“Her name is Margo and she’s dog sitting while I’m here. That’s it.”
She tugged her arm again. “More lies. Do you even know what the truth is? I saw she cooked. Yes, only a woman who thinks she’s in a relationship cooks up a storm. There you go, you’re caught and the worst kind of two timing liar ever.”
“She cooks because she’s in culinary school. She cooks for our whole office almost every day.”
“Bull shit.”
“She let the furniture store in to deliver a couch because I accidently caught the old one on fire.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, don’t even ask. The bottom line is there’s no relationship with anybody. Not once since it was you and me. You’re the only one.”
“I—”
“On our anniversary, every year, I come home and wait for you on the Sugar Creek Bridge. I’d left a letter with Will at the hospital telling you that’s where I’d be on that day every year if you wanted me.
Our spot. I was there 64 days ago, and already have my ticket bought for next October.
There can never be anyone else when all I think about is the possibility of you and me. ”
Her head tilted.
“I wait from sunup to sundown, every time, hoping to see come around the corner.” I leaned my forehead against the glass. “I thought you didn’t want me. That you’d moved on and couldn’t forgive me. For the accident or leaving.”
The little wrinkle between her brows made an appearance.
“I’ve been trying to play it cool in Colorado.
Letting you think I only wanted closure, but it was bull shit.
I just wanted to be close with you.” My chest tightened.
“Forgive me for the lie, but I knew you’d be here.
I figured it out and I was done hoping. I came here for you.
To make you mine again. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Needed. It’s always been you.”
Her face softened.
“I let people tell me what I needed to do that day, and I’ve regretted it every minute of every day since. And as time passed, I knew you’d moved on, and I was afraid of never being what you needed in your life.”
She took a step toward the window. “So those women—”
“I’m a stupid guy. I’ve had women in my life over the years, but I couldn’t let anyone get close. That space in me is owned by you. If I couldn’t have you, nobody would ever have me. You’re the only one who’s ever had me.”
She took another step toward me. “I had you?”
“You’ve always had me.”
We stared at each other through the glass.
“Open the damn window, Langley.”
Her little grin grabbed me by the throat. She lifted the window, and I leaned in.
Her minty breath hit my face. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I wrapped my arms around her. “We were supposed to be, Allie. You and me. All along it was supposed to be us.” She rested her forehead against mine. “I’m not leaving this state without you.”
Her hands went around my neck. “So, you’re saying you really dig me, huh?”
I laughed. “I dig you so fucking hard it hurts.”
She giggled as she kissed my cheek. “So, you don’t want to live without me?”
“Nope, I can’t do it. Won’t do it.”
“It’s you and me?”
“You and me.”
Kristina suddenly appeared in the bathroom with freak out all over her face.
“You guys!” She closed the door and leaned back against it. “The girls are coming.” Her finger pointed at Allie. “Aren’t you engaged?”
“Not for long.”
Kristina clapped before throwing her arms in the air. “Yes!” She walked over and pushed my chest. “But you get out of here now. It’s almost wedding time and anyone dying would turn Emily into a monster. In the last twenty minutes she’s already laughed, cried, and had a tantrum.”
Allie’s smile lit up the bathroom in the First United Methodist Church. “I know. She’s a little fragile today.”
Kristina adjusted her boobs. “Not fragile like a flower, fragile like a fricking bomb. Levi, you need to disappear like now.”
Allie stepped away but I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me for another kiss before Kristina walked over and pushed me. “Out!”