Chapter 58 Allie #2
“I don't believe you! You didn’t mean for this accident to happen, but you came here to make sure he was pushed out like you always had. Screw what I wanted or anything else.”
He took a controlled breath. “He's not good for you—”
“I'm so sick of that sentence! You never knew him. You never gave him a chance. Yes, he was wild and lacked direction back then, but he would've walked to the ends of the earth for me.”
“He was—”
“Don't you dare tell me what he was. You didn't know him then or now.
You never gave him a chance to show you who he was.
You, mom, and dad decided everything. Levi didn't cause the truck to run into us, he didn't do one thing wrong, but you didn't care. You wanted him gone. You sat in my hospital room tearing him apart, making him responsible for an accident he didn’t cause. You used it to get rid of him. My husband.”
“Don't say that.”
“It's true. You and our parents changed the whole course of my life. I never had a say. You all decided everything. And what about the letter?”
His jaw clenched.
“Yeah, I heard you talking last night. He left something for me that would’ve changed everything, and you never gave it to me.
You never gave me the chance to decide my life.
You tore it away from me. There were years you could’ve told me about it, but no.
You just kept lying to me. And he thought I wanted him gone forever. ”
“I was wrong, Allie. I’m sorry. We were all trying to do the right thing and, well, we were wrong.”
I took the breath and turned back to Levi. “Not this time.”
I heard him walking toward me.
“Stop right there. If you aren't supporting my prayers right now, you go.”
“Allie—”
“He is the only man I've ever loved. The only man I will ever love. If you're not for us, you're against us, and I want you gone right now.”
“You can't be—”
I turned to my brother. “I can be whatever the fuck I want to be. You either support me or get the hell out.” I wiped my face.
“I have a minister from the church in town coming here and if he opens his eyes for even a minute, there will be a wedding. If he doesn’t, there will be a commitment ceremony.
Do you understand me?” The back of my eyes burned. “I will be his wife when he dies.”
* * *
The girls wanted to stay with me but when it got late, I insisted they go back to the house. I wanted to be alone. As soon as they were gone, I pulled the little loveseat over next to the bed, as close as possible.
I held his hand and stared into his face. I loved him so much it put an ache deep in my soul. As I prayed, it seemed every sound including my own blinking eyes was magnified.
The beeps of the machines were like a ticking time bomb, and the monotonous drip of the IV bag and even the quiet swish of the nurses’ scrubs as they pass by his room were almost painful to my ears.
The dim fluorescent bulb across the room was too harsh, with the light bouncing off the polished sterile metal equipment causing my eyes to be jumpy and unable to settle in one place.
I gulped air still trying to process all the fucking things that had gone wrong as worry seemed to have clawed through my ribs and was now attacking me from the inside out. Everything was on a tilt and my senses were overwhelmed. The place I sat was cold, yet my skin clamy, and my clothes scratchy.
My heart was bathing in sorrow realizing how close we were. So fucking close. We almost had it all; almost.
I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but it was still dark when I opened my eyes. My chest tightened at the sight of my mother sitting next to me on the sofa. Her auburn hair was pushed behind her ear as she sat with her hands folded, and eyes closed.
“Mom.”
My vision blurred as she hugged me and peppered my face with kisses.
“If you’re here to do anything—”
Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m here because I heard there’s going to be a Christmas wedding.”
She held me in her arms.
“Dad and I took the red eye. We wouldn’t miss it. And I knew you’d need this.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a black velvet box she handed to me.
I lifted the lid and my heart sputtered at the sight of the gold ring. The wedding band Levi had picked out for me at the pawn shop just outside of Vegas.
“I’ve known you hid it in the back of the dresser in your old room for years.” She sniffed.
Hot tears streamed down my face. “It’s not fair.”
She pulled me to her. “I know it’s not.”
“He’s all I’ve ever wanted, and there were years of wasted time. Years I should’ve been with him. I should’ve gone and found him. I should’ve done it all differently.”
She pulled back and cupped my face in her hands. “I’m so sorry for everything. We were afraid, trying to protect you. Please forgive me, Allie.”
We sat silently for several minutes.
“He’s going to die, Mom.”
We sat holding hands watching him.
I took Levi’s wallet from the table beside the bed. I opened it, went into the secret pocket, and pulled out his ring then whispered. “Look, Mom he had it with him every day.”
She held me tightly while I cried my heart out.
The door opened and light streamed in from the hall as my father entered. I jumped up and he hugged me.
“Allie, I’m so sorry, honey.”
I buried my face in his chest and although I swore I had to be out of tears, I was wrong.
A few hours later Kristina, Lexi, and Rachel walked in carrying flowers and bags. My mom hopped up and hugged everyone.
“Girls, I’m so glad you’re here.” She looked over at me. “You all have been Allie’s rock forever.”
Lexi walked over and pulled me to my feet. “Well, it’s time to get Allie into her wedding dress.”
“Dress?”
She laughed. “You told me the story of your Goodwill dress. And sure as shit, we found one at the Goodwill right here in Colorado, and I believe it’s perfect.”
“Thank you.”
A knock at the door and my heart stopped as John Dawson entered. Tall, like his son, same green eyes, but the hair that used to be salt and pepper, was just salt now.
My father stood and shook his hand, and my mother gave him a hug. “We’ll give you some time alone.”
My parents led the girls out of the room. “We’ll be outside when you’re ready.” She reached out and took John’s hands. “We’re praying for Levi.”
His eyes welled as he nodded, and she gave him another hug.
Once the room cleared, he spoke softly. “I talked to the doctor last night and got on the first flight I could.” He scooted a chair close to Levi and sat down. “I can’t believe this.”
“I know.”
“I let my son down so many times over the years. I was nothing but a mean alcoholic when he was growing up. But then he shows up and makes me go to Brazil with him a few years ago.” He looked at me. “It was his willpower that got me sober.”
He ran the back of his hand over his eyes. “A man like that deserved a lot better than me.”
I leaned down and put my arm around his shoulder. “But he wouldn’t be the man he is without you. The things you and he went through made him strong and brave.”
He patted my arm. “But when it was you in the hospital bed, I broke a part of him by making him go. You both were young, but for me and your family to pull the shit we did, it was wrong.”
“But we found each other again.” I wiped my eyes. “He asked me to marry him yesterday.”
His head whipped in my direction.
I nodded. “I’m marrying your son today.”
“You are?”
I nodded. “Even if he doesn’t wake up, the minister is coming and will marry us.” I looked over at the most perfect man in the world. “So when I go to heaven someday my husband will be waiting for me.” I forced a smile. “We’ll have our forever then.”
He stood and pulled me into his chest and we both cried. Tears for past mistakes, wasted time, and lost futures.
There was a knock at the door, and my dad walked in.
“The minister just got here. The nurse set up a little room for you to get dressed in if you’re ready.”
Thirty minutes later the girls had helped me into the white dress that was understated and classic with zero puff or bling.
Straight white satin with spaghetti straps over the shoulders giving a little Grace Kelly flair.
They did my makeup but didn’t even bother with the mascara as I seemed to be tearing up every two minutes.
Rachel stood back. “You look beautiful.”
Lexi put the simple white veil on my head before holding up her blue Air Jordan’s. “Something borrowed.”
I pulled them on and smiled as she gave me the little bouquet of pink and purple flowers.