Chapter 21 Sloane
SLOANE
The bar Maggie picked is one of those trendy downtown spots with exposed brick, Edison bulbs, and a cocktail menu that uses words like artisanal and hand-crafted.
I don’t care. I just need alcohol. Riley and Maggie are already at a high-top table when I arrive, and they’ve ordered a bottle of champagne.
“We’re celebrating!” Riley announces, pouring me a glass as I slide onto a stool.
“We got the business,” Maggie says, her eyes bright with excitement and terror. “It’s real. It’s actually happening.”
I take the champagne and down half of it in one gulp.
“Easy there.” Maggie laughs. “We have all night.”
“To new beginnings. To taking risks. To being brave as fuck,” Riley says, raising her glass high in the air.
“To us,” Maggie adds. “The three scariest, bravest women I know.”
We clink glasses and drink. The champagne goes down easily. Too easily. By the time we’ve finished the bottle, I’m feeling warm and loose and like maybe everything is going to be okay.
“Another round?” the server asks.
“Yes,” I say before anyone else can answer. “But something stronger. Tequila shots.”
Riley’s eyes widen. “Sloane Winters wants tequila shots. Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”
“I’m celebrating. We’re celebrating. We bought a business! We’re moving to a cute mountain town! We’re going to be small business owners!”
“Hell, yes, we are.” Riley whoops.
The tequila arrives. We toast again. Down the shots.
My head is spinning now, but in a good way. Everything feels possible. Everything feels right.
“I need to tell him,” I announce suddenly.
Maggie and Riley exchange glances.
“Tell who what?” Maggie asks carefully.
“Jax. I need to tell Jax. About the business. About moving there. About ...” I wave my hand vaguely, “everything.”
“Okay,” Riley says slowly. “And when are you planning to tell him?”
“Right now. I should call him this very moment.”
“Maybe wait until you’re sober?” Maggie suggests.
“No. I need to tell him now before I lose my nerve. Before I talk myself out of it. Before …”
“Before you’re not drunk anymore,” Riley finishes. “Babe, maybe this is a conversation you should have when you can form complete sentences.”
“I can form complete sentences. Watch … I. Miss. Jax. See? Complete sentences.”
They both laugh.
“How about this?” Maggie says diplomatically. “Let’s get some food in you. Then if you still want to call him when we get home, you can.”
“Food,” I agree. “Food is good. I like food.”
We order nachos, chicken wings, and French fries. I eat approximately three bites before declaring I’m full and ordering another drink.
“This is the most fun I’ve had in months,” I announce, probably too loudly. “You know what we should do? We should go dancing. Do people still go dancing? Is that a thing?”
“You hate dancing,” Riley points out.
“No, I don’t. Chett hated dancing. I loved dancing before him. I used to be fun.”
“You’re plenty fun,” Maggie assures me.
“I’m boring. I’m so boring. I spent nine years being boring because Chett wanted me to be boring. But you know who’s not boring? Jax. Jax is not boring. Jax makes signs for chickens. That’s not boring. That’s adorable.”
“It really is,” Riley agrees, trying not to laugh.
“And he watches Christmas movies. Real Christmas movies. Not Die Hard. Actual romantic, cheesy, predictable Christmas movies. And he likes them. He genuinely likes them.” I’m getting emotional now. “Do you know how rare that is? To find a man who likes Christmas movies?”
“Very rare,” Maggie says gently.
“And he’s patient. So, patient. He’s been waiting for me to get my shit together for ages, and he hasn’t pressured me once. He just keeps sending me chicken updates and being perfect, and I’ve been too scared to do anything about it.”
“But you’re not scared anymore,” Riley prompts.
“I’m terrified. But I’m also ... I’m also ready. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.” The room is spinning a little. “We bought a business.”
“We did.”
“In his town.” I squeal.
“We did.”
“So, I’m moving there?” I ask them.
“We are.” They smirk.
“Holy shit.” The reality hits me. “I’m moving there. I’m going to see him all the time. What if he doesn’t want that? What if it’s too much? What if …”
“Sloane,” Maggie interrupts. “He wants that. Trust me. That man wants that.”
“How do you know?” I ask my sister.
“Because Everett told Riley, who told me, that Jax hasn’t stopped talking about you since the bar. He’s miserable without you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” She smiles.
I drain my drink. “I need to tell him. Where’s my phone?”
“Okay, that’s our cue,” Riley announces, standing up. “We’re getting you home before you drunk dial him in the middle of this bar.”
“I’m not going to drunk dial him.”
“You absolutely are. And that’s fine. But let’s get you home first,” Riley says.
They pay the bill while I try to stand without swaying. I mostly succeed. The Uber ride home is a blur of streetlights and Christmas decorations and me talking non-stop about Jax and the business and how my life is finally coming together.
“You’re really happy,” Maggie observes.
“I’m really drunk.” I hiccup.
“That too. But you’re also happy. I can tell.” She smiles.
She’s right. Despite the alcohol, despite the fear, despite everything—I’m happy. Actually, genuinely happy.
They get me inside Riley’s apartment, and I immediately collapse on the couch.
“Drink this,” Riley commands, handing me a glass of water. “And take these.” Ibuprofen.
“You’re a good friend.”
“I know. Now drink,” she says, pushing the glass to my lips.
I obey, downing the water and pills. Maggie grabs me a blanket and pillow.
“Get some sleep,” she says. “We’ll deal with everything tomorrow.”
“I need to call Jax.” I pout.
“Tomorrow,” they tell me.
“No. Now. I need to tell him now,” I argue.
They exchange glances again.
“If we let you call him, will you promise to go to sleep after?” Riley asks.
“Promise.” I grin.
“Fine. But we’re staying right here to make sure you don’t say anything too embarrassing.”
“Everything I say is embarrassing.” I giggle.
“Fair point,” Riley teases.
I pull out my phone and stare at Jax’s number, my heart pounding.
“What if he doesn’t answer?” I ask them.
“Then you try again tomorrow. But he’ll answer. He always answers,” Riley assures me.
I hit the call button before I can change my mind.
It rings once. Twice.
“Sloane?” His voice is surprised. Hopeful. “Is everything okay?”
And just like that, hearing his voice, all my carefully planned words disappear. “Hi,” I breathe. “I’m drunk.”
“Oh, well, hi, drunk.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “What’s going on?”
“I’m calling because ... because I need to tell you something. Multiple things. So many things.”
He hesitates. “I’m listening.”
“First, we bought a business. Me, Maggie, and Riley.”
“That’s amazing, Sloane. Congratulations.” I can hear the happiness in his voice.
“It’s in Silver Valley.”
Silence.
I look at my girls, slightly panicked, but they urge me on.
“Did I hear you correctly?” he asks.
“It’s a gift shop and coffee house. It’s perfect and it’s ours and I’m moving there.” The words are tumbling out now, unstoppable. “I’m moving to Silver Valley. I’m going to live there and run this business with my sister and my best friend, and I’m terrified but also really excited, and …”
“Sloane,” he interrupts gently. “Breathe.”
I take a breath. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”
“You’re cute when you ramble. Keep going.” He chuckles.
“I miss you,” I blurt out. “I miss you so much. I’ve been texting you about chickens for weeks because I’m too scared to say anything real, but the truth is I think about you constantly.
Every Christmas decoration reminds me of you.
Every Christmas movie makes me think about watching them with you.
Every time it snows, I remember the cabin and how safe I felt with you and how you made me feel seen for the first time in years. ”
“Sloane …”
“I’m not done. I need to say this before I lose my nerve or sober up or both.
” I take another shaky breath. “I was scared. I am scared. Terrified. Because I got out of a nine-year relationship where I lost myself completely, and I swore I wouldn’t do that again.
Then I realized, with you, I’m not losing myself.
I’m finding myself. You don’t make me smaller. You make me braver.”
Riley and Maggie are both watching me with tears in their eyes.
“And I know it hasn’t been long. I know we barely know each other. I know this is fast and crazy. But I also know that I haven’t felt this sure about anything in my entire life. And if I don’t at least try, if I don’t take this chance, I’m going to regret it forever.”
“Are you done?” Jax asks, and his voice sounds rough. Emotional.
“Almost. One more thing.” I close my eyes.
“I’m falling in love with you. No, that’s not right.
I’m not falling. I’ve already fallen. I’m in love with you, Jax Reid.
And I’m sorry it took me so long to be brave enough to say it, and I’m sorry I’m drunk right now, and this probably isn’t how you wanted to hear this but I just .
.. I needed you to know.” The silence on the other end stretches so long I think he might have hung up.
I’ve said too much. He doesn’t love me. “Jax?”
“I’m here.” His voice is thick. “Jesus, Sloane. You can’t just ... you can’t say things like that and expect me to be coherent.”
“Oh.” Panic laces my body. He doesn’t love me.
I hear him take a breath. “I’m in love with you, too. I have been since the cabin. And I’ve been going insane trying to give you space when all I wanted was to drive to Denver and tell you exactly how I feel.”
Tears are streaming down my face now. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I can’t believe you’re moving here?”
“We close on the business right after Christmas. I’ll be there by New Year’s.”
“That’s ...” He laughs, and it sounds almost disbelieving. “That’s the best Christmas present I could ask for.”
“I wanted to tell you in person. This is not how I planned this conversation.” I chuckle.
“I don’t care. I’m glad we’re having it.” He pauses. “Are you going to remember this conversation tomorrow?”
“Probably? Maybe? I don’t know. I’m pretty drunk.”
“Then I’m going to tell you again when you’re sober. And you’re going to tell me again, too. And we’re going to do this right,” he tells me.
“Okay.”
“But, Sloane?”
“Yeah?”
“I meant what I said. I love you. Drunk confession or not, that doesn’t change,” he reassures me.
I’m full-on ugly crying now. Riley hands me tissues while Maggie rubs my back.
“I love you too,” I whisper. “So much.”
“Get some sleep. Text me when you wake up. We’ll talk more then.”
“Okay.”
“And, Sloane? Welcome home.”
After we hang up, I sit there, staring at my phone, tears running down my face.
“Well,” Riley says finally. “If that wasn’t the most romantic thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
“I drunk dialed him.” I giggle.
“You confessed your love, too,” Riley states.
“He said he loves me too,” I say, looking at my girls.
“Of course he does. We could have told you that weeks ago.” Maggie hugs me tight. “I’m so proud of you. That was so brave.”
“I’m still terrified.”
“Good. Means it matters.” She pulls back. “Now get some sleep. Tomorrow you can panic about what you said tonight.”
“Can’t wait,” I mutter, but I’m smiling.
Riley tucks the blanket around me. “Sweet dreams. Dream about your sexy boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Yet,” they say in unison.
After they leave, I lie there in the dark, my head spinning from alcohol and emotions and the reality of what just happened.
I told Jax I love him.
He said he loves me too.
I’m moving to Silver Valley.
We bought a business.
My entire life is changing.
And for the first time in months, maybe years, I’m not scared of the change.
I’m excited.
I pull out my phone one more time.
SLOANE: I love you.
I hit send before I can overthink it. His response comes immediately.
JAX: I love you too. Can’t wait to see you. Sleep well.
I fall asleep with my phone clutched to my chest, a smile on my face, and hope in my heart for the first time in longer than I can remember.