Chapter 3
Noelle
Willoughby Rut Clinic.
The words stand out in a thick, gold embossing, slightly raised as I run my finger over the business card.
The omega sashaying away from me doesn’t even give me a second look as she tosses her pristine hair over her shoulder and heads on to her next shop.
Everything looked so put together on her, from her immaculate makeup to the dazzling tips of her manicured fingers.
Self recrimination and guilt eat at me as I look down at my ragged cuticles. I can’t even remember the last time I had them done. Definitely before my parents passed. Could it really be so easy? Just sell myself for a thousand or so and take care of myself for once and not just my little brother?
My insides clench as I close my eyes and breathe in the crisp air. Though the bank manager didn’t outright chastise me, he didn’t look at me with any sort of admiration, either. Not that I’d want him to.
Oh, who am I kidding? I would give up heaven and earth to have an Alpha look at me with something other than just passing curiosity.
I want their gaze to linger, much like how mine is on the omega who’s now just a speck on the horizon.
She’s so far away, and yet, I can’t keep my eyes from staring at her for as long as I can.
After a while, a new image slides into my brain and takes over my thoughts.
The bank manager was handsome enough. Golden tousled hair that looked like he had just woken up from a bout of sex and came to the office, piercing blue eyes that seemed to look deep into my very soul, and that voice. Dear God, that voice.
Even without the Alpha command, it was rough and growly, sexy as sin, a voice that could make me do anything.
Well… almost anything. Even as I stand there in the middle of the street with strangers pushing their way past, my body grows warm as arousal tingles through my veins and makes my clit throb.
Willoughby Rut Clinic. Seems Alphas aren’t the only ones with needs, I guess.
My fingers tremble as I stuff the card in my pocket and stare at the cabs whizzing by. How tempting it would be to flag one done and ride over there, but even just one more debt to my name is too much. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem all that very far on foot.
Cold air rips through my lungs with each step, yet still, I press on. It’s not for me, I reason with myself. It’s for my brother. It’s for giving him a good Christmas. Memories he can cling to even as I still mourn the absence of our parents.
It’s for paying bills, so we don’t have to worry about power being cut off or food not being on the table. Hell, it’s so I can actually allow myself the luxury of soaking as opposed to the quick, perfunctory showers that give me just a tease of heat before I rip myself away.
Soon, the smooth columns and soft, elegant golds greet me as I stare at the ornate door. The clinic is rather plain on the outside. If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you’d probably mistake it for a health spa or place you get high-end facials.
Sounds fade as I rest my hand on the doorknob.
All I can hear is the rushing of my heartbeat as I turn the cool metal and wait for the groan of hinges as I push it open.
Only, no sound permeates the whooshing dread as my pulse climbs to a frenzied staccato.
A health spa. That’s all this is. Just a health spa.
The receptionist behind the glass flashes me a large grin as she looks up from her computer screen. “Do you have an appointment with us?”
My fingers feel fat and dull as I shove them into my pants to pull out the business card. Not that she needs it. She knows where she works. Somehow, it feels a bit more legitimate if I show it to her.
“I- I received your card-”
“Excellent!” she cries out. “And are you here to give or take?”
“P- pardon?” The words she uses are ones I’m familiar with. They certainly aren’t a foreign language, and yet, I can’t seem to understand their meaning. “I was told.” Ducking my head, I glance about the room before lowering my voice. “I- I was told you could use an omega for the holidays?”
“Giving then. Fill this out, and someone will be right with you.”
The clipboard she gives me seems far thicker than I’m expecting. Several sheets, in fact. Blood drains from my face as I hold the pen poised above the papers and watch as the letters swim in my vison.
Name. Well, that one’s easy. Hunching over, I scribble out my response as the door opens back up to reveal a massive Alpha gliding through with a designer jacket pulled tight around his muscular frame. The collar sits upright, wrapping around the back of his neck and nestling into his dark hair.
The smile he gives me is supposed to be arousing, I’m sure. At least, I can assume that’s how he means it. All it does is make that clench in my gut a bit stronger and more painful.
He must be a client. No way someone like him would have to whore himself out to pay his bills. But then, the omega was dressed just as well and smelled just as lovely.
The bitter notes of my thoughts lie heavy on my tongue like an acrid ash coating my mouth from the inside out.
It’s not his fault I’m in this state. Honestly, it’s not really anyone’s.
If I had to lay the blame anywhere, it would be with my parents leaving us with debt we never knew they had.
Once it was paid off, there was not much left to live on.
Pulling my thoughts away from such a morose turn, I go back to my papers. Prickles of awareness skitter up my spine until I’m face to face with the Alpha, who just came in. Such a predatory gleam shines in his eyes as he stares me down.
Fuck. Get a grip, Noelle. You’re going to fuck someone like him to get paid. You can’t shy away now.
Clearing my throat, I continue down the list, answering what I can and leaving everything else blank. Is it obvious just how inexperienced I am? Sure, I’ve slept with an Alpha or two, but many of these questions deal with things I never even thought of, never comprehended.
“Miss?” I glance up at a smiling beta as she half leans over to me. “Would you please join me in this room?”
As I stand, the Alpha lets his gaze drift down my body as if branding me as his already.
It’s then that I realize I might not have a choice about who I sleep with.
What if they pair me with someone cruel and unfeeling, someone who only wants to ravage me and leave me alone on the floor to pick up the pieces?
“P- perhaps I made a mistake,” I mumble as I turn to leave.
The beta rests a hand on my arm and holds me to the spot. It’s not a fierce grip or a demand. In fact, it’s more like she cajoles me to stay.
“Please don’t make any decisions until we talk. I promise I will not keep you here against your will.”
“But I might,” the Alpha rumbles out as his lips tilt into a feral smirk.
His voice is all wrong. It’s rough in the worse way, possessive in a manner that has me wanting to fight back instead of submitting.
“Now, now,” she chides as her eyes twinkle, as if this is all just a game and I’m not some pawn in these sexcapades. “You have your omega waiting. Turn that energy toward her.”
With a dark chuckle, he pulls out a newspaper and reads it as if this interaction never took place. The change up is so rapid it nearly makes my head spin.
“Forgive us,” the older woman says as she motions to a chair in front of her. “We don’t usually have omegas and Alphas mix like that in the room. We pride anonymity here, but he was a bit early. In the future, there’s a side door you can come through if you do not wish to be seen.”
“That’s very kind of you, but I still think this was a big mistake. I- That is, he- You can’t expect me to just give myself to someone like him, can you?”
“We vet all of our Alphas just as much as we do our omegas. We would never allow you to be in a situation where you would come to any harm.”
“Yes,” I sigh as I look down at my lackluster nails. “But what about emotionally?”
At this, the beta shuffles a bit in her seat. “You get used to it. Honestly, if you think about it like a donation, it makes it far easier. You don’t miss the blood you give away, do you?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Truly, it’s no different. We all have needs.
We all have urges. By allowing the Alphas to expend their need into you, it does a great service to the community.
Before these clinics popped up, rage and aggression were at an all-time high.
Now, we offer a safe space for all manner of needs and lusts.
You’d be an intricate part in keeping this city free from harm.
Isn’t that something you can find pride in? ”
Again, my gut clenches at her words. It sounds so nice and simple when she puts it that way.
It would be so very easy to lie to myself and say I was giving my body selflessly and merely fulfilling a need that only I can.
Well… let’s be honest. I’m sure any omega who spreads their legs can do this.
There’s no guarantee they’ll even want me.
The beta looks over my form as I sit there, allowing my mind to wander and race. “We are pretty full at the moment, and there is a waitlist, so we can certainly use you. But I’ll be honest. What we need, I’m not sure you can provide. I’m so very sorry.”
Desperation lashes at my insides, forcing me to rise. “Please,” I cry out. “You don’t understand. I- I’m desperate. This is all I have, all I can do. Please don’t turn me away.”
Her lips screw up in a thoughtful frown as she hands the papers back to me. “I’ll give you a few more minutes to complete the form, then I’ll reevaluate you.”
The click of the door closing sounds ominous to my ears as she leaves me alone in the small room. At least I don’t have to look at any Alphas while I pour my sexual heart out on these pages. Somehow, that just makes it all the worse, even though, deep down, I know they’ll find out sooner or later.
I gnaw on my bottom lip as I tap the pen against the clipboard. Even though I’ve answered what I can, I don’t understand most of everything else. I’m not a kinky girl. I guess I’m just as vanilla as they come. Unfortunately, I know that won’t sell me to this clinic.
Why would they want someone like me when they can have someone far more adventurous? Gritting my teeth, I go down the list and check off yes to everything, leaving nothing undone. If they won’t take me now, then I don’t know what else I’ll do.