Chapter 5 #2
‘Monsieur?’ the staff member calls out politely.
With our eyes glued to the door, Liberty raises her fist to knock again when a small voice croaks, ‘We’re okay. We’re okay. We just had a shock.’ It’s Ged but his voice sounds strained.
I muscle my way to the front. ‘It’s me, Connie. Can I come in?’
‘No!’
‘Is Liam okay? Was that him screaming?’ I’d recognise that high-pitched squeal anywhere. There follows some muffled mumbling behind the door, some bumping of furniture, some heavy footsteps and a bathroom or wardrobe door shutting.
‘Yes. Yes, it was Liam. But he’s fine. Just a nightmare. He’s perfectly fine. You can all go away.’
‘Can you at least open the door? I just want to check on Liam to see if—’
‘No, he’s fine. We’ll… we’ll see you all at breakfast. Bye! Thanks for caring. Please leave.’
Liberty chuckles. ‘Well, that’s that sorted then.’
I frown. In what way is this situation sorted?
‘It’s a sex game gone wrong, innit? Ged’s hiding the body. He needs time to think,’ she jokes. ‘Think through his escape plan.’
Liberty has been hanging out with Eddie in Vegas for too long. I swivel back round to hammer on the door. ‘Ged! Let me in!’
‘I’m fine,’ shrills Liam. ‘And it wasn’t a sex game!’
We stand staring at one another for a few seconds before the two staff members shrug their shoulders and indicate for our small crowd to disperse. I fear we are not making a very good impression.
A short while later, Matteo and I are first down to breakfast in the dining room. We have discussed at length what the screaming could have been.
‘I don’t buy that it was a nightmare,’ says Matteo, forking chunks of fruit onto his plate from the buffet table set up at the side of the room. ‘But I don’t believe in ghosts either.’
I chew my nail, thinking out loud. ‘Maybe he’d had too much cheese.’
Liam’s go-to recurring nightmare is that he’s appearing on Strictly with Pedro Pascal as his partner and is the first ever contestant to shit himself (with excitement) mid-paso doble while live on TV.
‘Unless it was the one about becoming a professional quadripeder,’ I muse.
Matteo gives me a quizzical look.
‘It’s that new viral trend for exercising on all fours like a dog,’ I explain. ‘Liam was seduced into trying out a ridiculous class at the gym and he’s been scarred ever since.’
Matteo digests this information, blinks slowly and lowers his gaze.
It may take a while for him to adjust to my friends and our ways.
Fortunately, I am saved from speculating further by Nacho, who is approaching the sumptuous buffet with a huge grin.
He surveys the mouth-watering selection of delicious pastries and continental meats and cheeses on offer and piles his plate high with fibrous fruit.
‘Buenos días,’ he says, flopping down in a chair, yawning. ‘Crazy night, huh?’
‘Was it?’ says Matteo, a hint of strain in his voice. We peer at Nacho for signs that he may have been up all night long with Liberty being ‘crazy’. His hair is tousled, his eyes mischievous though bleary, his chin stubbled like he’s about to shoot a perfume ad once he’s eaten his pineapple chunks.
‘Late one, was it?’ I ask hesitantly. I hope for Matteo’s sake that Nacho and Liberty are not rekindling their infamous casual shagging.
Not while Matteo is deep in collaboration with her boyfriend Eddie.
As though she senses that we are imagining the worst, Liberty waltzes in looking like the cat that got the cream.
‘Not late enough for my liking,’ she says, giggling at Nacho. ‘And what in the name of fuck was all that screaming about? I was in such a deep sleep, exhausted from all that…’ She breaks off to peruse the breakfast buffet.
A silence hangs in the air. All that what? All that reverse cowgirling? Matteo blinks. He is wondering the same.
‘Morning, everyone,’ says Ged croakily, rubbing his eyes.
‘So sorry about the noise earlier,’ Liam announces, sweeping into the room behind him. They are wearing matching silk dressing gown and pyjama sets in alarmingly vivid shades of mustard and teal, with very cute Mr & Mr logos on the back.
We wait for Liam to elaborate but he and Ged join Liberty at the buffet table to ooh and aah over the feast in front of them.
They begin tucking into the pastries. While I’m relieved to see them both alive and well and not choosing a single nutritious piece of fruit between them, what does worry me is Ged, who is wrapping sausages, bacon and cubes of feta cheese in a serviette and slipping it stealthily into his dressing gown pocket.
Greasy sausage in a silk pocket? Not on my watch.
‘Ged. We’re having lunch in two hours. You don’t need to squirrel food back to your room.
Those grease stains will never come out. ’
Ged spins round, eyes wide and guilty.
‘And you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen or just ask the staff,’ adds Matteo as Ged sits down opposite, placing the stuffed serviette on the table with a thump.
‘I bet that robe is going to see far worse stains than grease,’ says Liberty, cackling.
‘And, Connie, what makes you think the sausage is for eating?’ She collapses into peals of laughter.
‘Don’t forget the safe word this time, lads, will you?
We can’t have you screaming the house down once everyone else arrives.
Even if you are overly excited about getting married. ’
She has sex on the brain. Maybe her close proximity to Nacho is to blame. He’s oozing metrosexual vibes with his film-star dental work, his full head of tousled hair and his superior DNA. He gives Ged a cheeky wink. ‘Is normal, no?’
Ged hesitates. ‘Actually, you guys, I think I might take this to my room.’ He picks up his plate and the stuffed serviette while at the same time Liam scrapes back his chair.
‘Great idea. Besides, we’re not even dressed!’ He hurriedly picks up his plate and scurries after Ged.
The four of us regard each other with raised eyebrows. ‘What is going on?’ I ask. They shake their heads, nonplussed. ‘Maybe it’s just pre-wedding nerves. I’m sure they’ll be fine later.’
‘Speaking of later,’ says Liberty, dragging her eyes from Nacho’s biceps. ‘What time are the girls getting here?’
I check my phone. Liberty has the exact same information as me on our group WhatsApp and yet, like all of them, she somehow comes to me for information.
‘Cherry is due to arrive just after lunch and Tash and Sister Kevin around about the same time. And…’ I scroll through the messages.
‘Big Mand and Big Sue are arriving tomorrow.’
‘Do you think they…?’ she says with a note of excitement.
‘I don’t know.’ My mind is whirling with visions of our two friends standing by Lake Como holding up their hands to show twinkling diamond rings.
I remember in Las Vegas when Matteo and I spotted Big Mand and Big Sue in the wedding store.
We spotted Liberty and Eddie in that store too.
And Tash and Sister Kevin. Something about being in Vegas, bombarded with blinking bright lights, immersed in the frenzied buzz of gambling, the constant ringing of bells from every chapel and being swept up in all the Elvis madness must have given us some sort of desperate wedding fever, but so far none of them have broached the subject of what they were doing in there.
‘Libs, should we make a start unpacking some of the Bridgerton costumes?’ I scroll through the wedding to-do list on my phone and show her the screen.
It is a very substantial list with names attached to each job.
Liberty’s name is clear as day next to ‘organise the costumes’.
It will take all hands on deck to achieve everything before Christmas Eve, the day of the wedding.
‘Shame. I’d love to help, I really would but… erm, we were going to visit that place, weren’t we?’ She raises her eyebrows at Nacho. ‘To do that thing?’
Nacho doesn’t miss a beat and nods dutifully. ‘Sì, claro.’
‘What place?’ Matteo asks him. ‘What thing?’
A grin spreads across Nacho’s face. ‘Pues, the place that she wants to go. The famous place.’
Matteo frowns disbelievingly. ‘The famous place?’
‘Never mind that,’ interrupts Liberty, cramming a croissant into her mouth sideways.
‘Let’s go, Nacho. We don’t want to be late.
’ She all but yanks him to his feet and drags him away from us.
‘I promise we’ll help later. Besides, Ged and Liam will probably need some them time.
Did you see how many sausages they took? ’
Matteo and I sit facing each other. ‘You have weird friends,’ he says.
‘I know,’ I say, nodding. ‘I know.’